At the time, it had seemed like a fantastic idea. After all, he'd started to see the time-loops as one big dream. A dream he had complete control over. Albeit, this was a dream that just wasn't ending. And dreams weren't real. What happened in them didn't count. You could do the impossible in a dream. The laws of physics didn't apply. Though that was really more her ball game than his. In dreams, your fantasies could come true.
So, after playing around and living out pretty much all of his wackiest, spur-of the moment daydreams, like golf through the gate and cycling round the base, his real fantasy had become increasingly harder to resist.
And that was how he had found himself standing in the Gate Room in his civvies, in front of the General with a letter of resignation in his hand. Because, why not resign. This was just a dream. And in a few more minutes he'd be Colonel Jack O'Neill again and none of this would have happened. It really had seemed like a good idea.
He knew for a fact that time would loop again. No one would remember a thing. Hell, technically they weren't even 'not remembering it'. He was fairly sure it would count as 'never having happened' in the first place. So, yes, it seemed like a great idea.
"Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?" Damn, but George looked pissed. The airman in Jack recoiled just the tiniest fraction at the anger in his Commanding Officer's voice. But he reminded himself once more; this was not real.
Jack took a deep breath and looked at his watch. Five minutes until the loop reset and none of this would ever have happened.
"Handing you my resignation." He actually had to stop himself from saying 'Sir'.
George's jaw dropped to the floor as Jack turned around. Carter stood up and walked towards him. 'Just a dream, Jack' he told himself as his heart clenched and the nerves set in. He was still looking at his watch as she reached him.
"Resigning? What for?" She actually sounded concerned. Maybe even a little annoyed.
Four minutes. He'd timed it pretty perfectly. He looked up from his watch.
"So I can do this."
Screw the butterflies in his stomach. He reached for her, cupping her face in his hands and brought his lips down to meet hers. The dip hadn't been planned, but hell, he'd been caught up in the moment and it felt right. And so, the former Colonel Jack O'Neill found himself standing in the Gate Room of the SGC, in front of his former CO, with his former 2IC in his arms. Even better, she was kissing him back.
He was completely absorbed in the moment. Her arms around him; the feel of her lips on his; the way she kept catching his lower lip between her teeth and then letting go, like she was trying to stop herself getting too carried away.
And then, all of a sudden, it stopped. He was back in the commissary with Daniel asking him some inane question, and Sam…Carter, sitting there staring at him with those beautiful blue eyes.
It wasn't until after they'd fixed the looping problem that he'd given the kiss any real thought. He was sat on his couch, a long and busy day finally over, leaning back against the cushions with an ice-cold beer in his hand.
Then it hit him. He could still feel her lips on his. He could still smell her. It felt like his heart had skipped a beat. It was real to him. He'd treated it like a dream, a fantasy he'd been able to act out, but it wasn't. It was real.
Two things occurred to him at once.
He'd stolen a kiss from her and she would never remember it.
And all those feelings they'd admitted to and locked away, so recently, weren't so securely locked away now.
The first problem left him with gut-wrenching guilt and just a little self-loathing. What kind of asshole kisses someone knowing they'd never remember it? Alright, she'd admitted to the same feelings he had, and ok, she had kissed him back. But, it was still a pretty shitty thing for him to have done. If, by some miracle, they ever did get a chance to let those feelings out of the room, and they got to share a kiss they'd both remember, it would never be their first kiss. Because he'd already had that with her. He'd robbed her of that moment. He'd always have that memory and she never would.
He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. He really was a selfish bastard sometimes.
The second problem was just causing him pain. He'd gone, what, two weeks with the feelings successfully buried? Not only had he given in to them at the first opportunity, he'd pretty much screwed up any hope he had of re-burying them.
Because now he knew what it would be like to kiss her. To be able to hold her with no repercussions. He'd not been able to stop thinking about it for more than an hour or so. And now he almost envied her for not knowing what had happened. Which he was pretty sure made him even more of an ass.
So, yes, at the time it had seemed like a fantastic idea. But now, no matter how great the kiss, or the feeling when she kissed him back, now he knew he'd made a pretty big mistake.