Disclaimer: All Character belong to DC comic (detective comic comic)
Down down, deep down. I sometimes ask my self. Was it worth it? So I'm a teenage kid. Leading all this heroic youngster. Saving the world and stuff. A lot of people would say, that's some achievement I got and some kids at the safety of domestic comfort would be thinking that they want to be just like me. Well they shouldn't be like me.
My best friend died. I endangered a lot of people. I lost the respect and trust of my team. I became what I didn't want to became in the first place and I lost my best redhead girl. So yeah, I saved the world. But was it worth it?
I remember when the cave blew up in front of my face and I was thrown off. I remember being inside the water and all the sudden there's this tranquility moment happening before the darkness take over and I realize, well this is probably it. As it turns out, is not. But it scared me. It's not the first time that I've been close to death. But this one is different. The 'tranquil' moment is what I'm scared of. Cause in the middle of the sea (no pun intended) of disaster, it was about the only moment I get peace and it's been a while.
"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia…" 5 Seconds of Summer you got no idea. I used to put 'having amnesia' in my fear list. But right now, amnesia would probably be the best thing for me. Cause this hurts more than figuring out the Flying Grayson cannot exactly bend the law of physics after all.
"I didn't know you were a fan of 5 Seconds of Summer" I take off my earphone and turn around to see Barbara Gordon. "So what if I am?" I didn't meant that to came out as rude, (I pushed her away enough) but it did.
She shrug and walk beside me, I will consider this as a miracle as we haven't talk to each other for months. She was mad at me and I couldn't blame her. I just fake death her friend and didn't give her a heads up. I even had the audacity to say 'she'll always be here' crap as I gesture to her heart and of course I stayed the night. I feel guilty afterwards but I needed her. Cause I knew we wouldn't have this kind of relationship after she found out and I was such a mess. Even now.
"How are you, Dick?" she asked. I don't know if that is out of formalities or she really did want to know how I'm doing.
"Good" Like I'm on a fear gas.
She stop. Because of course, she knows when I'm lying. Because of course, she's Barbara Gordon, daughter of a detective, trained by the Batman, and above all, my best friend or was. She give me that look that sarcastically said "I believe you"
But I dodge the look cause I have enough about me. "How are you doing, Barbara?"
"Fine" this is the point where I give her that look that sarcastically said "I so so believe you"
She sigh and starts walking again. "Maybe we should be true to each other, Dick. Don't you have enough giving out lies?" she cringe as she realize what she said. But I gave her a smile to let her know that it's okay. I deserved that.
"I do. You want the truth? Okay. Once upon a time, I was appointed as a leader in the not so convenient time. I was a crappy leader. I give out lies and I call it 'all part of the plan'. At the end, I saved the world, not bragging here. But on the line, I feel like I'm losing it all. So I go on about my days as if I'm on a fear gas cause I'm such a crap in decision making. How about you, Babs?" I have mumble the words 'Babs' to the empty air but now that she's here in front of me just face to face it's just different and there's this ache in my heart to just embrace her. Cause she's here, talking to me and I feel alive again. I feel tranquil.
"I'm mad at this guy. He lied to me and he's in trouble big time. So I go on about my days trying to forget him but I found out that I can't. Cause even if he is the biggest dick I ever known who walks in this planet that has been dubbed 'earth', he's my best friend and I care for him. Since forgetting is too hard of an action for me to accomplish, I decided to try something different and is called 'forgiving'."
I made a lot of mistake and I've been searching some kind of inner peace and the words 'forgiving' that came out of her lips just click it inside me better than the too many lovers that I'll never know and the too many liquid.
"Can we start over?" It came out as a plead but I'll stoop that low if it can give me back my livewire.
"My name is Barbara Gordon"
I give her a grin "My name is Richard Grayson. But you can call me Dick"