The first log entry for LT A. Arendelle was written by the lovely and talented Frenzy5150! Originally written for Kristanna Week 2017 over on Tumblr.
Eight Klicks
The mid-autumn sun glinted off the fjord, sparkling on the waves stirred up by a gentle breeze. The wind swirled up the inlet, past the ships moored at the docks, and danced around the ancient harbor fort that stood vigil over the military base which has guarded the seaside capitol of Arendelle for centuries. It carried the salt tang of the open sea to a pair of soldiers jogging along a deserted stretch of gravel their ancestors likely hauled longboats up onto.
Despite the weight of their packs, both moved with the grace and surety of seasoned runners. Though one was considerably larger than the other, both kept pace together. They jogged past a string of round moss-covered boulders, up into the little parking lot where a lone Humvee sat waiting for them with its tailgate down. The soldiers reached it and, like split sacks of grain, all of their poise and energy drained out of them, and they all but collapsed against the vehicle.
"That is the LAST time I let you talk me into anything," Kristoff gasped, face-down in his Humvee, his pack squishing his face into the cool metal of the bed.
"You say that every time," Anna let the weight of her pack pull her down into the bed, her legs dangling off the tailgate and booted feet swaying in the breeze.
"I mean it this time."
"You say that every time, too."
"Eight clicks, Anna. Eight. Fucking. Clicks."
"It felt more like ten with that hill on the back side of base."
"In full gear."
"Eighty pounds is heavier to me than it is to you."
"In less than an hour!"
"At least our time's improving."
"Not funny."
"We wouldn't've gotten caught if your Humvee wasn't recognizable a kilometer away, y'know."
"Leave Sven out of this," Kristoff scowled, rolling onto his side and unclipping his pack. "He wasn't the one who thought it'd be funny to super-glue giant eyelashes onto the headlights of the Major's rig."
"Sven totally thinks it's funny." Anna patted the tailgate. "Don't you, my cute little Humvee…"
"Don't talk to him like that."
"Well, that stuffed shirt needs to majorly lighten up." Anna slid her arms out of her own pack and grabbed her canteen. She ignored his groan at her pun and gulped down almost as much as she poured out over her sweaty head. "Besides, there's precedent, y'know."
"I told you to leave Sven out of this."
"How the hell did you get the Motor Pool to let you put antlers on him, anyway?" Anna asked, tipping her canteen back for another drink.
"Told them it was part of my religion."
Anna spat out her water. "You did not!"
"It's a very sacred tradition among my people." Kristoff's tone was a mix of solemn and offended that would've earned them another eight clicks if their CO was in earshot.
"No it's not."
"Not my fault the LT in charge doesn't know that," he replied downright piously, which was completely ruined by his cheeky grin.
Anna howled with laughter. Kristoff laughed as well, swiping her canteen and taking a swig.
"Hey, get your own!" Anna squawked.
"I've got my own."
"Well, what's wrong with it?"
"It, um, doesn't have water in it."
"Oh?" Anna quirked an eyebrow, and Kristoff actually blushed. "Why, Chief Warrant Officer Kristoff Evelyn Bjorgman!"
"Evelyn?" Kristoff protested.
"You're telling me you have a canteen filled with illicit hooch, and you're not sharing?!"
"Running and alcohol do not mix," he pointed out.
"I'm not running now. Hand it over."
"Not gonna happen."
"I outrank you."
"Don't worry, I don't hold it against you."
"My feet hurt, Bjorgman. Gimmee." And with that Anna lunged over him to rifle through his pack, not caring that he got a nose full of her sweaty armpit. She knew exactly where he hid his canteens, something their CO never figured out. She crowed in triumph, holding up the standard-issue aluminum canteen full of definitely NOT standard issue drink.
Anna propped an elbow on his chest and opened the canteen. She sniffed it before taking an experimental sip. "Akvavit?"
"Pabbie's best," Kristoff grinned up at her.
"Yusss," Anna practically purred, taking another swig. "He'd retire fat and happy if he ever sold this miracle juice."
"He's already happily retired, but I'm not calling him fat."
"You better not. You're my hook-up for the honest goods." She deliberately eyed him up and down, then took another shot.
Kristoff cleared his throat, failing to hide his blush, and plucked the canteen out of her hands. "Wouldn't want to mess up a good thing," he muttered. He started to tip the canteen back, but thought better of it and capped it. Someone had to be the sane and sober one of them.
"Uuuugh, why is it sofa king HOT!"
"Eight clicks with eighty-pound packs, remember?"
"It's October, there's supposed to be snow on the ground!" she groused. She rolled off him and yanked on her boot laces, too focused to notice him place a broad hand over the spot on his chest she just vacated. "Maybe I could talk Elsa into an early winter."
"You want to run through snow?"
"Hmm, good point. How about just an early frost?" Anna kicked her boots off and plopped back down on her pack.
"And give the climate change deniers more ammo?"
Anna snorted, then draped an arm over her eyes to block out the sun. "Still too hot."
"Take your socks off too, then."
"That requires effort, and I'm too tired. You do it."
"Gross."
"Kristoooooff…"
"Can't. Busy."
"Doing what?"
"Re-hiding my canteen."
"Uuuuuuuuugh!" Anna groaned, flinging her arms out. One hand landed on Kristoff's pack, which he lifted off and plopped back down across her face. The other landed on something cool, cylindrical, and metallic. "That'll work," she grinned.
Kristoff slapped his pack closed with a satisfied grunt. "What'll work?" he asked.
He should've known better.
Somehow Miss 'I'm too tired' found the energy to pull a length of spare paracord from her pack, tie each end to the toes of her socks, and was tying the middle to the business end of a rocket launcher. "What are you doing?!"
"Taking my socks off."
"With a rocket launcher?!"
"This is gonna be awesome!"
"This is gonna earn us so many demerits we'll still be burning them off by the time we earn back our ranks!"
"Don't be such a grumpy pants."
"You're going to kill yourself."
"Relax, you know it's dummy ordinance."
"Anna!"
"This part of the fjord is for practice fire anyway. Nobody's gonna notice."
"The major will notice. The major always notices."
"We were supposed to use this up during our latest drill, which got interrupted by our latest forced run," Anna explained quite calmly. "Wouldn't want the Quartermaster riding our asses because we didn't use up our allotted ordinance."
"You're using a rocket launcher! To remove your socks!"
"I know! It's like a crazy trust exercise or something."
"If that thing drags you into the fjord, I'm not going in after you."
"Yes you would."
"No I wouldn't."
"You would, if only to see me in a wet t-shirt. AND to say 'I told you so.'"
"I….." Kristoff's mouth hung open like a landed fish for a full three seconds before he snapped it closed with a pout. "Sometimes I really don't like you."
"Hush. I gotta aim this thing."
"Anna no!"
"Anna yes!" And with that she pulled the trigger, and both the rocket and her socks disappeared with a hollow whoosh.
"Ha Haaaa! Brilliant! It actually worked!" Anna cheered, wriggling her now bare feet.
Kristoff watched, gobsmacked, as the dud rocket arced through the air, leaving a graceful smoke trail followed by a ridiculous fluttering pair of socks, before disappearing into the waters of the fjord.
"Damn efficient, wouldn't you say?" Anna laughed.
"That…. was actually pretty cool," Kristoff couldn't help but grin.
"That was fucking awesome is what that was!" She gave him a little sideways grin. "Crazy trust exercise."
"They always are, with you," Kristoff smiled softly.
"ARENDELLE! BJORGMAN!"
"Aw hell," Anna winced.
"OFFICE!"
"I told you so," Kristoff also winced.
"You say that every time."
"NOW!"
They both winced again.
"Might as well get this over with," Kristoff hopped off the tailgate. He plucked Anna's boots off the ground and started jogging.
"Hey!"
"If I'm getting demerits again for one of your ideas, I'm at least having a bit of fun this time."
"Bjorgman!" she screeched, and he laughed, and she chased him all the way to the Major's office.
Inspired by this video: wwwDOTyoutubeDOTcom/watch?v=N6W3US8Luo8
Notes: If you love badass Anna and hot Kristanna, go check out more of Frenzy's stories here on FFN and over on Tumblr!