Chapter 1: The Review

Once upon a time when the pandas danced with men and the flowers sang Beatles covers a prince, a king a King of The Cosmos that is, and a queen resided in a beautiful planet. Life was brilliant everyone was Katamari everyone having a Katamari good time.

Adventure started one day; in a small metropolitan apartment home of Swash a game critic for the Pixel Time. He had now finished his review and he pushed the big SUBMIT button on his computer. What was this review and why is it cramping up are good Katamari good time? Well this review was on Katamari Damcy in fact but a terrible thing happened when it reached the Internet waves.

Birds were dyeing trees were crying the skies turned gray and women beat their kids (Honestly we hope not). King Cosmos and his shrimpy son Prince were bewildered at this sight. The King was exceptionally mad. "Why does my beautiful land look, look, look, look, look, arrgh what's the word? Oh that's right t-tainted my kingdom is tainted what be the reason of this. We go ask the smartest person I know. Come Prince" Prince jumped in his giant hand and he shouted" Royal Rainbow!" a Technicolor beautiful rainbow shot us to the estate of the King and company.

"Honey were home, did you see the outside?" King asked.

"Yes, yes, I did isn't it awful," she said in her normal homely voice.

"Well me and Prince decided to ask the smarted person we know"

"Aw sweetie that's so well sweet" her face turned pink and she made an embarrass laugh.

"So I decided to ask Mr. Computer" as the King said this Queen's happy face dropped to a horrible angry face, but sadly King was to busy getting on the computer. The Prince just stood there in the kitchen bewildered.

"Good thing the computer works or I would have to ask you for something" He laughed and he started clicking away, "Hey look it's a Katamari Damcy review well we all know its probably more praise," He made a cocky face at me and clicked on it and screamed.

"Whaaaaaaat a…a…a…a negative eight out of one hundred. We made a game called We Love Katamari everyone was supposed to love it," He started thinking and swung the computer at the wall and ran to his room and started sobbing.

"Honey you have to respect opinion, the Queen will make it all better," she scurried off to the master bedroom and shut the door. Prince shrugged luckily the computer still had a small glow even though it was in thousands of pieces. The Prince clicked print and waited patiently and when it popped out this is what it said:

I have played a lot of games in my time but not one like this, what am I talking about well Katamari Damcy. It's not like any other because it's the worst thing I have ever played, EVER. The controls are so complicated, the soundtrack makes me hit my ears until the blood clouds my hearing. So basically this game you roll up crap in a ball, no guns, no strippers (Prince of course didn't have any idea what they were), and horrible vomit graphics. I mean come on and people call this game cute and quirky I call it a walking disaster. So if you have any common sense AT ALL. You will roll this crap up and chuck it into a giant pit in hell.

-8/100

Prince sat on the floor rereading the article over and over again he would wait for his parents and settle this once and for all!