Episode #1: Introductions
It's been awhile since I've met him, that man, who would soon change my life complete forever in ways I never thought anyone could. Especially with him living so far away from me across the ocean of the pacific yet he did unknowingly like most artists with their numerous fans trailing after them. I was seventeen was my first live the experience me made me believe that the impossible could come true but in reality it was went I turned eighteen when I met him again and shook hands while looking into that mysterious man's eyes. Those unmistakable dark pooled eyes that could see thru my soul as if I stood there suspended in time floating in the darkness being caressed gently while have him devouring every single thing that I held within my body and mind that night. Now I'm twenty-four years old and yet the impact left from him still imprints my very being and I became transfixed in meeting him once more; to thank him for being my source of strength and inspiration for a project that I've been working merciless on for years despite some doubts.
But before that changed ever took place on the unforgettable night at that concert. It began during March 11th, 2011; the very day that struck the country of Japan into un-forgetful tragedy. Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant Crisis became one of the worst nuclear accidents in history. It was also the largest earthquake to strike Japan at the magnitude of 9.0. Images I saw on my television set that morning at five o'clock left me utterly shattered. I didn't know what to do or say but it kept buggy me that country I loved so much like a homeland was in a stay like this. Then suddenly my favorite vocalist and his band step courageously forward from the dark into the light to say their opinions. Scream for the truth. Something they have been doing for sixteen years at that place in time. They didn't seem to fear what the government could plague against them an underground rock band that made head way across the world.
It was then set out towards writing two book series called Scream for Truth: Beyond the Blackened Sun in support of the band's campaign. It all came to me after the Dir en grey concert I attended two years ago on December 5, 2011 it was upon meeting that very special man that it all came to me. It occurred to me also through the music inspired by them I shall come up with a tale, a new revelation in my writer's dream world. It was to be one of the most drastic writing pieces I was to ever write in my life time filled with rawest of emotions felt and to be felt.
It's hard to imagine that all my daydreaming has led me here to such a foreign somehow it still feels like home to me strangely enough.
It's funny to think that it first it started out with manga, anime, the country's culture, then followed by its music-music is what changed my entire life around. Dir en grey became a major influence in my life and was about to even more. Niimura Kyo-san is who changed it most of all. He was there when no one was there to bring the calmness of the pain I suffered only his emotional singing could put me to sleep as I dried away countless tears. Only he could understand the pain of a misfit girl. I'm sure many other Kyo fans felt the same as me.
So it began that way a meeting, impacting my soul filling it with a special kind of warmth of that cold December night. To having me striving to preserve it in a mind who easily erases memories; so I decided to write a song to cherish that moment in honor of those pain filled nights that I would listen to his voice; eventually to the books I mentioned earlier with more words then you could try to count without looking down at the bottom of your computer screen. And yes all the while I had my countless doubts running in my mind at and first if the members would even at all like it; if my own people who except such a massive project, or even the very Japanese. Despite the pressures of doing such a thing without knowing for sure if it would be excepted by a publishing company or if my parents would bother to understand me enough to spend countless hours in trying to finish it while being in college at the same time!
But I kept pushing towards this despite the lurking shadows knowing that it would be all for nothing in helping the people of Japan for the sake of meeting him again. I would do anything in my power for it; even if this hopeless love that I was feeding with mere fantasies between him and I it didn't matter to me because it was him and inspiring form that kept me going. This never unwilling flower of stubbornness and ambition. But eventually I knew like all dreams of fantasies they would come to an end like scattered petals of cherry blossom carried on by the Indian summer breeze. And where ever took the petals I would soon follow it again feeling more empty then before yet somehow satisfied.
But for now the spring filled wind was sending me across the waters of the Pacific Ocean towards the land that I loved oh so very much, Japan. In the land of the raising of sun, I was to make this dream I've dreamt for so long unto reality! It's been hours that I sat on this plan, making my way of the maze of the airport and making my way to Tokyo by the means of high speed rail train. The pressures that I've kept at bay slowly began to unravel like dripping blood. It was already a miracle that many publishing offices wanted to take up my story in support of my efforts. My parents eventually came to terms with me after I graduated from a university with a bachelor's degree and worked long and hard for myself all the while writing. All that was left now was to finally confront Dir en grey to see if they liked the story I had crafted under many years of mental intensive work. The head quarters of dir en grey's management is where we would meeting again; I decided to pass it before heading to my hotel. I stared at it for awhile feeling anxious just like in the same fashion before Dir en grey lives that I would try attend as much as I could while working back at home in Dallas, Texas.
So after taking a breather as I could before finally facing away toward reaching my hotel and put on whatever was felt was comfortable I didn't think of wearing business attire after all they were just human with an amazing talent plus I would feel so out of place in it; I felt I looked horrible in that kind of attire especially with such a sickly fragile frame. Yet I knew I should for the sake of business regarding the publication of the book with their names inside it.
So once again there I stood in front of the building wearing black jeans, purple and DC* shoes, black and purple long sleeve from Sex Pot Revenge with a grey scarf wrapped around my neck and beanie over my head. Fuck, I have to go back I'll look silly if I walked in there claiming to be a professional writer in this get up! So I came back with an overalls strapped with three gold buttons going down on the pleated skirt in burgundy. With white a three fourths cut sleeved collar with matching ribbon tied tire. My hands where sweaty that I brushed them off my skirt and I was really tiring not wipe off my minimalist makeup with my nervous frustrating tears. But nevertheless went ahead inside by the sheer force of pride in my work and that I simply couldn't be rude and not show up on this important day! So with the only things I had which were my publisher paper work, copyrights forms, and nothing more but my laptop and the unfinished in a way printed copies of the first book. There as I walked down the halls guided by personnel, I felt myself feeling like so much like my created character Kurosaki Minami. Then female personnel kindly led me to a room where I was to talk to the members about the idea which the management seemed very excited about and thought of it as being innovative and promising.
So there was I left alone for awhile, to settle myself down with my stuff and to drinking nervously before they came in. Suddenly I felt this strange feeling like when my ex. used to come and visit me at my home; it would start by running up and down my spine followed by my heart muscles tightened painfully in chest that I could barely managed to breath properly and the incontrollable shaking on my hands and impaired speech. I really wish I could run out of the room and hid somewhere this constant pestering nervous tension was too much for this pathetic body of my mine! But as I quickly drinking a bottle of water placed for me to quench the bitter iron taste that suddenly filled my mouth the door swung open quietly and all of them came in one by one starting Kaoru, Shinya, Toshiya, Die, and finally Kyo, bowing courteously toward me. I practically almost choked at their sudden presence that almost made my heart stop at already accumulated pressure inside of me. Yet I did nothing, not even once moved my body to run pass them and possible lock myself in a restroom, I simply just set the water bottle down and let them come in. All of them dressed normally almost for a live but that was something they been doing for awhile straying away from the visual kei main stream they once were a part of. There I stood trying to hide my surprised stare at the non knocked entry. I hated when I was so nervous I couldn't think properly, eat, or even breathe. I tried my best into stop thinking how nervous I was and tried to take in the surroundings before I stared to thinking about fainting in front of them at the high levels of stress straining my body more with each passing second. All of them remained standing, Kaoru being the closest to my right- then down the line in a curve toward the left and in the middle of the room facing directly at me was Kyo-san.
My heart skipped at the instant site of this man, who changed me more than a number of times that I could count. His gaze was fixed on something other than me which I knew very well he would do after watching so many backstage footage and interviews. Yet I clenched my teeth together barely missing my tongue-the thought of my iron tasting blood gushing from what could have been a possible wound increased my thirst for water, pushing my thoughts into a blank slate and walked away from the desk to stand in front of each one of them. I stood unknowingly firm and spoke in a voice I don't recall how I sounded to say what brought me to them as I walked I knew my legs where shaking so badly it was miracle I didn't stubble into them. Yet thoughts at the back of mind kept coming-doubts the ever so increasing doubts.
Kyoko: (My tone of voice unknown. My throat dry as fuck even if I drunk half the damn bottle.) I hope I don't pee on myself; for it was body reflex to shake terribly when nervous.) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- and start, "Who man I am?" You're wondering it been awhile since we all last met but I was once of the many fans who went to your lives in America. And when the translator told us to ask a question we wanted to know the answer too. I asked you all I was going to write a book for your campaign. As stupid as it sounds for those who aren't day dreamers or believe in any kind of dream for that matter- I finished what I promised to myself…And your reply came from Kaoru-san after the silence amongst you that it would be something to looking forward to but I doubt that you would even care for such a thing. But even so I continued to work on the book all through my college years because it was really something I wanted to do as repayment to your support fully enriching music and to the people of Japan. Well let me tell you what- (Placing five copies of the book before them) - this is what I came up with inspired by you all and other sources. It's fictional but it does retain some form of reality to it. (Nervously licking my lips and staring at the ground after starting at their range of expressions.)
Kaoru: (picks up the copy in front of him) It's both in English and Japanese.
Kyoko: I went to creative writing course in college as well to help with the writer's block so if the attention is high enough and movie producer is interested in creating a movie based on the book series is something I can also be of use as well.
Shinya: Amazing that you came up with such a length for our campaign? A mixture of fiction or non-fictional?
Kyoko: I consider it as sci-fiction or supernatural. I'm not that all really sure…
Toshiya: Wait a second these cover suggestions look familiar! (Looks at the summary and points at the cover art.)
Die: Sugoi, your right there's the cover art for the Uroboros DVD.
Kyo: ... (Looks at Book 2) The titles are names after our A[knot] Tour and tour concept in 011'.
Kyoko: My author pen name is Murakami Kyoko but my real name Rogers Banesa, Banesa is just fine; I sort of dislike my last name though you can use the my author pen name at best.
Shinya: Would you like read to us the first couple of chapters?
Die: A professional author like your self should be able to read the story without hesitation. Plus I think their more surprises hiding in the beautiful melodic voice of yours.
Kyoko: (smiles genuinely) (I was quite unsure how to take the comment from Die-san but it was now or never that I was going to find out if they were going to like it or not.) And this the tale I spun for you all that shall haunt your dreams if you let it maybe even more so now that the one so skillfully crafted in twisting such sense is seated right here amongst us. (Hinting toward Kyo whom I didn't turn to face just yet and I begun to read the first couple of chapters until the manager interrupt me from continuing any further.)
Manager: That is an absolutely amazing story you have their dear young lady, to make such an epic modern adventure at such a young age is something that not everyone is capable of! I see you also stroke some interest here amongst the members and staff alike. (With the same lady personnel as before entered unexpectedly towards Kyo's left hand side.)
Lady: Hai. (Nodded in agreement with the manger and courteously smiling while picking up Kyo's untouched copy and flipping through the text.)
Kyoko: If they're willing to be more interactive in the story… such as dialogue rewrites and copy right permission of their names given partial credit to the band of course. Well I hope that most of portion of the money will go to the affected.
Manager: Well of course, if the members all agree?
Kaoru: Count me in it's seems like something worthwhile doing it together as band but as citizens of this country.
Shinya: It's for the people more than anything but I hear the reminiscing essence of our band's concrete ideal in it so I'm willing plus I find it every entertaining as a story all on its own.
Toshiya: Towards being best seller! (And he raises his copy above his head and laughed.)
Die: For a beautiful girl with such an amazing talent for writing…I do anything for one such a woman. Who also turns out to be a rebel just like the rest of us!
Kyo: [...] such an ambition from someone such as you. You're not what you seemed to be from at a glance, though I can't remember your face since the years have gone by so quickly but your effort in putting a piece of our souls while not having us nearby is no simple feat. Plus I see a little bit of reminiscence me in you.
Manager: Well it settled then, we can commence this next project as a whole new chapter for Dir en grey! But for now you miss must get ready to leave for tonight we head to Osaka-Jo Hall. And I hope you're ready for hard work in the months ahead….touring can be very tiring for someone who isn't used to it.
Kyoko: ^^; is nothing that I can't handle I'm sure of it…(If only they know I'm lying straight through my teeth!)
And with that the members began to leave after signing their names on the contract and bowed once more in their departures. Kyo being first to leave and so on yet held his gaze at me for a little longer then need and left. Yet I can't help but wonder what was that flicker in his blackened brown eyes mean?