A/N: I know I should really stop making new stories and not finishing other and I don't even know if I want to post this. But if I do then...oh well. So this is basically Magnus is in a abusive relationship with Alec.

Magnus is kinda traumatized I guess you could say so in the story he could be sane in chaper and completely out of his mind in the next, so expect that.

If you don't like things like abuse don't read this story. All righs to CC, Enjoy Lovelys!

Hate. That's what I wish I could learn how to do. I wish I could learn to hate the person I love the most. He took everthing from me, hurt me, broke me, but I still love him with my every fider.

Alexander. He just doesn't love me the way I love him. He says he does, but I can't agree. He says he will change but he is yet to do so. But I can't hate him. I don't know why, but I cant...after everything I still love him.

Magnus woke up. Sore, aching, naked, and alone. He sighed, nothing new. He threw on his robe not caring as the thin silk red cloth sliped down his shoulders.

Magnus was making his way to the bathroom when he heard distant voices from the livingroom. He wouldn't have cared but there was more than one voice so he dicided to go see what was going on.

Magnus walked into the livingroom to see Alec with his friends Michael, Jonathan, and Jarvis. "You're awake." Alec said turing his attention to Magnus. Magnus smiled and walked twards him. He took a seat on Alec's lap. Alec wraped and arm around his waist.

"Who are these people in my house?" Magnus asked. "Jonathan, Michael, and Jarvis." Alec answered. The man named Jonathan spoke. "Well won't you look at that, Alec's hit the jackpot." He said. "Yeah, he's quite the beauty." The other man said.

Magnus smirked at the one called Michael, he was very good looking, but still couldn't compare to his Alexander. "Hmmm, you're pretty." Magnus purred. He slipped out of Alec's lap gracefully and made his way the Micheal.

Once he had gotten to him he straddled his lap. "I'm Magnus." He said. "Michael." He said back. He took Magnus's hand and kissed the back of it. "You like me?" He asked. "If you like me." Magnus replied. "I wish. But I can't have you." Michael said.

"So you don't like me?" Magnus asked frowning, no one had ever turned him down. "I-I would but, aren't you with Alec?" He asked. "Oh Alec, he wouldn't care." Magnus said casually. And it was true, Alec wouldn't care.

Alec had slept with many other people during their relationship, So Magnus did the same. Sometimes Alec would hurt him if he did and sometimes he just didn't care, and since this was his friend. "Sorry, but I just can't I-" "Fine." Magnus said cutting him off.

He got off of Michael and back to Alec. "I don't think your friend likes me." Magnus pouted. "Don't do that. He'd be all over you if I weren't here." Alec said. Magnus smiled and kissed him. The robe he wore slipped further down so that it was at his elbows.

Alec broke the kiss. "Go put on clothes." He said.

"Why? The robe is comfortable." Magnus protested. Alec frowned and crossed his arms. "Magnus. Go put on clothes. Now." He stated firmly.

Magnus sighed rolling his eyes but obligated. As Magnus walked down the hall twards the bedroom he sliped the robe off letting it slide down his body and to the floor. Alec got a perfect view of his naked body.

He smirked to himself then turned back to his friends. "How do you just let him come up on Micheal like that?" Jarvis asked finally speaking up.

Alec shrugged. "Beacuse." Alec said sitting back. "At the end of the day, he comes crawling back to me." He finished smirking.

Micheal rolled his eyes. "He's probably just sick of you." He said. At that Jarrvis and Jonathan both laughed. Alec scoffed at his friends. "Oh, shut up Micheal you could never get someone like Magnus." Jonathan said.

Jarvis and Jonathan laughed while Micheal pouted. "It's true Micheal." Alec said. Micheal then smirked. "I bet I could get him from you." Alec then scoffed. "You can try all you want. But he's mine." And with that Magnus came back fully dressed.

He wore tight leather pants that stuck to his skin, a navy blue v-neck that stoped at his mid torso and black combat boots. Magnus's eyes where lined with black coal and ended at the sharp point at the corner of his eyes, with lip gloss.

"Better?" Magnus asked holding out his arms. "Much better-are you wearing my boots?" Alec asked.

Magnus then smiled making his way twards the couch. "Yes. Yes I am." He said. Alec just shrugged and turned back to his friends.

Magnus was sitting there for mabey 30 minutes, just listening to their conversation. Being completely ignored.

Once in a while he would poke Alec's arm to get his attention.

But after try to get his lovers attention for so long he tried one more time he gave up. "Alexander. Alexander. Alexander!" Magnus shouted.

"What?!" Alec shouted back. "I'm going out." Magnus said.

Alec frowned confused. "Why?" he asked.

Magnus just scoffed and got up. "Because, I have better things to do than being ignored." Magnus walked up to the door. "Who are you talking to?" Alec asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes and left slamming the door on his way out.

Magnus took a deep breath outside the door.

He knew he was going to regret that later.

Alec POV

Magnus just, argued with...me. Who the hell does he think he his?! Alec thought to himself.

"Alec you ok?" Jarvis asked. Alec glared at him still angry at Magnus. "I'm fine." Alec said through his teeth. Jonathan smirked at him. "Not used to getting man handled, huh?" Micheal laughed as Alec flipped off Jonathan.

The friends talked more for about an hour before Jarvis and Micheal had to go. Jonathan leaving soon after.

After his friends left Alec got his phone and called his first speed dial number. It rung twise before they answered.

"Hello?"

"Where are you Magnus?" Alec asked angrily. There was a pause on the other line. "Magnus?" Alec asked again. "I'm at the park by the water fountain." And the line went dead. Alec clicked off his phone and made his way out the door.

Soon Alec arrived at the park and imedeatly looked twards the fountain. He saw Magnus sitting legs crossed with his hands in his lap. Alec spedely walked up to Magnus.

"Magnus." Alec said. Magnus turned to Alec's direction and hurriedly stood up.

Alec stoped infront of him, glaring angrily. "Alexand-" Magnus was cut off by Alec's hand connected to his face. "Who the hell do you think you are disrespecting me the way you did."

Magnus didn't answer, insted he ducked his head and whispered. "I'm sorry." Alec scoffed and grabbed his arm. "Oh, you're gonna be sorry." He said.

"Excuse me." Alec heard a light voice. He turned his twards the voice. Alec saw a green eyed girl with curly red hair. "Is every thing ok over here?" She asked worryingly he eyes pointly on Magnus.

Magnus saw this and nodded. "We're fine." He said. "Are you sure? Is this man bothering you?" She asked. Magnus didn't answer to that. "No, i'm not. I'm his boyfriend, now if you would excuse us." Alec said taking Magnus's hand firmly in his hand pulling him along.

Soon they arrived back at home. "Sit down." Alec said as he pushed Magnus through the door. Magnus did as he was told taking a seat on the brown couch. Alec crossed his arms staring down at Magnus.

"Alexa-"

"Shut up. Just...Don't talk." Alec said cutting Magnus off. He started pacing for a while then stopped at looked a Magnus. Alec sighed.

"Magnus. I don't wanna hurt you. I don't, please belive that. And i'm sorry for hurting you out by the fountain, it's just-" Alec groaned cutting himself off.

"Magnus, come here." Alec said gently. Magnus got up from the couch and stood infront of his lover. Alec took a step forward and wraped his arms around Magnus's waist.

Magnus imedeatly hooked his arms around Alec's neck and burried his face in the crook of his neck. "I love you Magnus. I always will, ok. So never think any different."

Magnus nodded, face still in Alec's neck. He pulled away and lighty pressed his lips to Alec's. "I love you too. More that anything." Magnus said. Alec smiled at his words.

"But, I don't want you going out anymore. Just for now." Magnus nodded at this. Alec smiled again and kissed Magnus on his forehead. "How about you make dinner?" Alec suggested. Magnus smiled and let go of Alec and went into the kitchen to make dinner.

I wish I could hate him. But I can't. I forgive him no matter what. It may sound crazy but he's all I have in this world and I don't think I can give him up. I've been with him since I was 18. Yeah, i've gone throught the pain and the hurt for 4 years and he is still the love of my life.