Pillow's are Deadly
Hello. I thought this baby up during a pillow fight with my siblings ^-^ I was getting my arse kicked. Everyone was teaming up on me! It wasn't fair! ;_;. Anywho, this fic is highly silly, as usual.
Warnings: Umm, mild swearing, much silliness, and a little Relena bashing.
Disclaimer: I don't own GundamWing. But I do own these pillows! They're MINE. My GundamWing pillows!
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Duo sat up in bed, pulling at his mass of bed-head in a poor attempt to get it combed out. He yawns and stretches, sending the pillow he had clutched in his hands to the ground. He stops, looks at his pillow, looks over at the sleeping figure of Heero, looks back at the pillow and grins evilly.
Stepping out of bed with as much grace as he can manage considering the hour, Duo picks up his pillow and sneaks over to Heero's bed. He hides the pillow behind his back and taps Heero on the shoulder.
"Hee-Chan" tap, tap.
"….."
Duo frowns and taps him a little harder. "Hee-Chan!"
A groan escapes the human-shaped lump on the bed. Duo huffs and taps his foot impatiently on the floor. He stops suddenly and a little light bulb appears with a tiny 'poof' above his head.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Heero yelps and jumps up in his bed. He turns looks around the room rapidly for the annoying pacifist. He narrows his eyes when he hears a familiar giggle. He turns his head to glare at Duo, but before he can even turn it all the way, he meets with a very unexpected friend.
PHWAP.
Heero is sent flying back a few feet, almost falling off his bed when he's whacked across the face with Duo's pillow. Duo starts to laugh hysterically at the site of the very startled, and very pissed off Heero. Heero growls and grabs his pillow. "Duo…"
Duo cringes and slowly gets up off the floor to look at Heero "Yeah, He-*BOP*"
Duo staggers back and falls onto his butt as he's assaulted with Heero's pillow. Heero lets out an uncivilized war cry and launches himself at Duo, armed with his pillow.
****
Wufei sat down at the kitchen table drenched in sweat. Quatre sat down next to him, his hand covering his mouth. He nodded to Wufei in acknowledgement and tried to eat his toast while pinching his nose closed. Wufei raises his eyebrows at Quatre and moves his chair away from him. Quatre sighs with relief and lets go of his nose. Wufei looks a bit shocked and scratches his head. He smells his arm, turns green, and faints. Quatre looks down at Wufei and shrugs. "Oh well, at least I can't smell him anymore."
Trowa walks into the kitchen and takes a seat next to Quatre. He looks down at Wufei and raises his one visible eyebrow. "What happened to him?"
"He took a whiff of himself."
Trowa blinks at Quatre and bends down to smell Wufei. He darts back up, squeezing his nose shut, his eyes watering. Quatre shakes his head. "That's what happens when you train too much."
Trowa nods in agreement and shakes his head, trying to rid his senses of the terrible smell.
Right when Trowa was going to bite into his toast, a crashing sound his heard. Trowa and Quatre both stop eating and sit in silence, waiting to hear the sound again. When they don't hear it again, they shrug and continue to eat.
"Kiss my ass you Perfect Dickhead!"
Quatre spits out the tea he was drinking in surprise. Trowa and Quatre both look up at the ceiling with raised eyebrows.
"Take this Shinicrappy!"
More crashing noises are heard and some yelps. Trowa and Quatre exchange glances and both grab for their tranquillizer guns. They hear a groan, and Wufei pulls himself back up into his chair, clutching his head. "Ugh…how…weak of m-"
"Take one more step and I'll shove this pillow up your ass!"
"Come and get me you pussy!"
Wufei coughed and wiggled around in his seat. "Did Heero just call Duo a…pussy?"
Trowa shook his head "It's amazing what he does and says when he gets into brawls. What ARE they doing up there?"
"Well, from the choice of weapons, I'd say they're having a pillow fight."
Quatre and Trowa both look at Wufei critically. "A pillow fight? That doesn't sound very…Heero."
"Stay still!"*CRASH.*
"Kiss my cute little ass!"*PHWAP*.
"OMAE O KOROSO!"*CRASH, WHACK*
"That was a cheap shot!! EAT PILLOW!"*PHWAP, WHIP, CRASH*
"They must have torn apart the room by now…" Quatre wonders with mild concern for the state of the room. It is HIS house after all.
"Shouldn't we DO something? You know, stop them? We do have plans for today." Wufei said impatiently. Trowa nods and tosses Wufei a tranquillizer gun. Wufei raises his eyebrows at the gun.
"You'll need it the way those two are going at it." Trowa said, and started to climb the stairs cautiously. Wufei and Quatre followed him.
****
"HIIIYYYAAAA!!!!" Duo jumps down from the top of the dresser, pillow raised, onto Heero. Heero raises his pillow in defense, blocking Duo's swipe. He grabs the collar of Duo's shirt and tosses him across the room. Duo lands on his bed and grabs the other pillow. Heero raises his pillow and launches himself at Duo. Duo jumps out of the way, causing Heero to crash into the wall. Duo jumps on top of Heero's back, raises both pillows, and whacks Heero across the head with the pillows viciously. Heero yelps and tries to swat Duo off his back, but Duo wrap's his legs around Heero's chest and hangs on tight. Heero jerks up suddenly causing Duo to fly off his back and land on the floor with a thud. Duo winces and rubs his butt, then grabs both pillows and gets in a defense pose.
"Your goin' down, Hee-man."
"I believe you're the one who's going to lose. And DON'T call me 'Hee-Man'."
"Sure thing, HEE-MAN."
Heero growls and chucks his pillow at Duo with all his might. Duo 'meeps' and ducks. He gets back up and points at Heerom laughing. "HAHA You missed…me…Hey, what's wrong with you?"
Heero looks behind Duo in shock. Duo raises an eyebrow at Heero and slowly turns around. He yelps and jumps behind Heero at what he sees. Wufei is standing in the doorway with a pillow plastered to his face. It slips off and falls onto the floor. Wufei has a huge red pillow mark on his face, and he doesn't look too happy. Not very happy at all.
"ONORE!!!!" He shouts. He grabs the pillow off the floor and tackles Heero, beating him over the head with it. Duo backs up a fair distance and watches Wufei assault poor Heero. Quatre and Trowa have huge sweatdrops on their heads. Heero has enough and throws Wufei off of him, grabs a pillow, and flys at him. Wufei blocks Heero's pillow attack and trips him. When Heero hits the floor Wufei whacks him in the face with his pillow. Heero growls loudly and tackles Wufei to the ground, whacking him over and over with his pillow.
Duo, getting quite bored and fed up of being left out. Grabs a pillow and walks up to Wufei and Heero. He taps them both on the shoulder.
Wufei and Heero both whip around and shout in unison "WHAT!?"
Duo grins, whips out his pillow, winds up, and lets go.
* SLAP *
Heero and Wufei both stumble backwards and fall onto their butts. They look up at Duo in shock, look at each other, pick up their pillows and launch themselves at him. Duo ducks and whacks both of them in the back.
Trowa and Quatre exchange glances, sigh, and pick up a pillow. They walk over to Heero and Wufei. Heero is holding Duo in one spot while Wufei whacks him with a pillow. Quatre taps Wufei on the shoulder, and Trowa taps Heero on the shoulder.
"Wha-*WHACK*" Both Heero and Wufei go flying across the room. Duo falls to the floor, little starts swirling around his head.
****
Two hours later, all the Gundam Pilots are laying on the floor, groaning. Quatre's vest was ripped right off his body, and is now laying in tiny pieces on the floor. His hair is a complete mess. His bangs are sticking out in odd angles. Trowa's unibang is plastered to the top of his head in sweat. His jeans are ripped, and the collar around his turtleneck is gone, so it looks like a normal shirt. Heero's shirt is gone, laying on the floor in pieces next to him. His hair is even messier than before, if that's possible. Wufei's hair has come out of his ponytail, and it looks like he just woke up. His shoes have been discarded, used as a weapon during their previous battle. He has bite marks on his arm. Duo gave them to him when he had him in a headlock. Duo's hair is half out of it's braid, his priest collar has been ripped off his shirt, and is stuck in his hair. His black top has been pulled off, and he's now only wearing the white one, which is covered in sweat. All in all, the Gundam Pilots look like CRAP.
"That…was…interesting…" Duo pants, wiping the sweat off his forehead using his black top.
Quatre shakes his head as much as he can muster. "I'm never going that again, you guys are savages! Who hit me across the head with Wufei's shoe?"
Everyone turns and glares at Heero. Heero looks around innocently. "Well what was I suppose to do? Quatre had ripped apart my pillow, and Trowa was trying to strangle me with the bed sheets."
Everyone blinks unexpectedly at Trowa. Trowa shrugs "Well he deserved it. He's the one that was throwing lamps at everyone."
"What the hell is the matter with you people? It's a PILLOW fight. Your suppose to use pillows only!"
Wufei turned and glared at Duo. "Your one to talk! You're the one that bit me, AND I saw you throw that sock drawer at Heero."
Heero whips his head around and glares his hardest at Duo. Duo laughs nervously and shrinks away from Heero's glare. "Well, I guess the only one that played fair was Quatre."
"Big surprise…" Mutters Duo. Quatre glares at him.
"Wait, that's not true. I saw Quatre tie Trowa's feet together with a rope made of tied up socks."
Everyone gasps at Wufei's statement. Trowa turns and looks at Quatre in shock "That was you?"
Quatre blushes and looks away from Trowa. "Err…well, yes. But I only did it because WUFEI kept coming after me with a spatula! I needed someone else for him to chase."
"Where did you get a spatula??" Duo asks, tending to a bump on his head.
"Eh…I grabbed one before I came up to your room. With the noise you guys were making I thought I would need it for self defense."
Everyone sighs and lays back, trying to relax without sitting on a bump or bruise.
"Well, at least now we can relax."
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. No one moved to go get it, they had had enough moving around for one day.
There was another knock, an impatient huff and then "HHHHHEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Everyone's eyes widened with surprise. They looked at each other, than got up as fast as they could and made a break for the safety of their rooms.
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Wai! I'm done. That was very silly and pointless, but I had to do it. Anywho, any comments would be nice. R&R!