All this time. All this time, everything had been all wrong.
Eve could hardly catch her breath.
She would have to die, there was no question about that. Even then, it wouldn't be enough. If only she hadn't been born. If only she hadn't survived…
"Ma'am?"
She tried to compose herself.
"Nothing," she said, in answer to the implied question. But of course it wasn't nothing. This was the opposite of nothing, this was the biggest thing that would ever happen to her. Her death. After everything -
"David?" she said, without turning.
The soldier froze, just as he was about to leave her.
She looked at him, eyes red from holding in her tears. "That's your name, isn't it? David?"
He swallowed and nodded. Honestly, he wouldn't have thought she knew his name. Eve was many things - strong, effective, ruthless - but her personal skills left something to be desired. You couldn't really blame her, though. Not after all she'd been through.
She sighed. "I know you think I'm cold and distant."
That was exactly what he thought, but almost by instinct he protested.
"No," he said. "You're just…" he paused. "You do what you have to. We all respect you for that. We would do anything -"
"Stop with the 'we,'" she said. "Can't I have just five minutes where I'm just... Eve?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am."
She shook her head. "You're not listening," she said. It took all she had not to order him not to treat her as his ranking superior.
He looked at her. He felt completely out of his depth. For years he had admired her, hoped for just one acknowledgement, a smile, anything. When he had been chosen to lead a unit of wolves on a six-month, top-secret mission, he felt validated. Until he learned that he'd been appointed by the Wolf General, not her. Six months turned into a year, which turned into 18 months, and his unit of 15 dwindled down to four. She'd hardly reacted to the news of the losses. Death was in her blood. Perhaps that was why she was so cold.
"I don't know what to say," he said, finally.
"Tell me something about you."
"Well," he said, "I joined the Werewolf Army in -"
"Not that," she cut in. "I don't want to hear about David the Soldier. I want to know about you."
He paused. "This is who I am."
"Do you have a family?"
"Not any more."
"Have you…" she thought. "Have you ever played football?"
"Not unless you count kicking around with my dad when I was small."
"I do." She nodded. "I do count that. What else did you do?"
He shrugged. "I mean, normal things."
"Is it true you grew up in a remote enclave and didn't see a vampire until you were 16?"
"No."
She looked disappointed.
"But where we lived, it wasn't like it was here. It didn't used to be. I guess it was because…" he trailed off. "It was just different."
"And you came here because?"
Because of you, he thought. To fight alongside the brave and beautiful War Child.
"I thought you didn't want to hear about why I joined the Army."
She smiled. "I don't," she said. "I just want to know about normal things. What would a normal day even be like? I haven't had one in all my life. It was the one thing my mother could never give me." She sighed wistfully. "And now… it's all gone. My life has been for nothing."
"Don't say that."
"New York has fallen. Just a few months ago, we were confident we were gaining ground. It's all gone, everything's gone, David. We've lost."
"There's still hope." He paused. "While we were on our mission -"
"I don't want to talk about the mission, David!"
"No," he said. "This isn't about - just listen. There were nights when we would set up camp by the sea. Deserted places. But when you looked up at the sky and out across the sea… well, it was like none of this never happened. I was like… the sky and the sea don't know it's all gone to shit. It… gave me hope."
Eve looked at him. There was hope, she agreed, but it only if she could change things. Change her existence. Make it go away, really away, no matter what it took.
But first…
"Take me there."
"What?"
She stepped toward him, this battered werewolf soldier who somehow still believed in hope.
"Take me to the sea."
He shook his head. "You know I can't do that, ma'am."
"I'm not ma'am anymore," she said. "My name is Eve. I'm 27 years old, and I've never had a date. And I'm asking you, David, please. Take me to the sea, just for one day."
He looked into her eyes. "You could be killed if you leave the bunker."
"If I have to die, I wouldn't choose any other way. They can kill me -"
"No."
"You survived out there for eighteen months."
"And I lost eleven of my friends."
Eve paused. "Don't make me order you."
David sighed. A date with Eve was beyond his wildest dreams. The look in her eyes said she wouldn't let it be.
"I think I know a safe way to Southend-on-the-Sea," he said.
Eve smiled.
Eve studied herself in the mirror. She couldn't remember the last time she'd worn a dress. It felt like too much.
"What do you think, Mum?" There was no answer, but she knew.
"Needs a cardi, yeah?" She pulled an old yellow cardigan from her trunk.
The kettle shuddered as the water rolled to a boil.
"I think you'd like him," she said, as she fixed a pot of tea. "He's very courageous. And not bad to look at and all."
She poured the tea into a thermos.
"I'll see you soon, Mum," she said, packing the thermos in her bag. "I know… I know you can't hear me, but I'll find you, one way or another. We'll undo this."
Eve scowled when she saw David's mode of transport.
"A motorcycle?"
"It's safest," David said. "Much easier to get around the vampire checkpoints."
"But won't we be… so exposed?"
David turned to her. "This was your idea," he said. "I told you I knew a safe way, but only by motorcycle." He put on his helmet, and handed one to her. "Besides, you wanted to try new things."
"Normal things," she said, with a smile. There was no way she'd be allowed on a motorcycle normally. Far too dangerous. But, knowing she was soon to die one way or another gave her a feeling of freedom.
"Maybe you should change," he suggested, eyeing up her dress.
"Don't be silly," she said, and put on her helmet. "They'd never know it was me in this. Besides, I want to really feel the air."
A motorcycle would do quite well.
Southend on the Sea was a strange place. Just an hour out of London, or the ruins of London, to be accurate, it was like a shrine to days gone by. It was deserted, but untouched.
"This way," David said, leading her to the shore.
The smell of the salt air itself took Eve back to her early childhood in Wales. Of being carried by her Uncle Tom as he ran toward the water, her Mum behind them, calling for him to be mindful. The smell was almost magical, yet it carried with it a sadness. She thought of her mother every single day, carried on one-sided conversations with her when no one was looking to keep herself sane. But she tried not to think too much of what happened to Uncle Tom.
"Oh," she gasped, as he caught her first glimpse of the sea in decades. "It's beautiful..."
David put his hands on her shoulders and positioned her so that her back was to the world and all she could see was the sea and the sky.
"See that? It hasn't changed. People back... before, back at the turn of the century, came here and looked out and... if you don't look back, it's like the Vampire Age never was."
Eve looked. And it was awesome. Overwhelming. She could almost hear children playing, people laughing.
"It's perfect," she said.
She took a deep breath. She wanted to drink in this moment. Not just the sea, but being there with David. She'd suspected he had a bit of a crush on her for ages, but forced herself to ignore it. No distractions for her. But now, this was it. She was going to die today.
She turned to him.
"Kiss me."
"Ma'am?"
"I'm not ma'am. Don't you want to kiss me?"
He paused. "I don't think I'm allowed…"
She crossed her arms. "And you were 'allowed' to bring me here in the first place? On a motorcycle?"
David blinked. She had a point. He leaned toward her, stopping just millimeters from her lips. If she was serious, she'd meet her lips to his.
She did.
He could feel her inhale, her body lifting up, almost as if she could float away. For a moment, she thought she would.
She pulled back with a smile.
He grabbed her hand and started walking. "I want to show you something."
"Show me something?"
As he led her quickly across the sand and rocks, she realized where he was taking her. What was once a busy fun park was now a creaky ruin. She was secretly thrilled to get a closer look, but felt she had to hesitate.
"Is it safe?" she asked, as they stood before the entrance.
"It's safe," David said.
Everything about the place was creepy. The brightly-colored stalls, the faded pictures of smiling cartoon children, the decrepit rides, not to mention how dark and quiet it was. But it reminded her of home somehow.
"We've built a bunker here," David said, breaking the silence as the wandered.
"You did? Here?"
He pointed toward a run down cafe. "Over here."
She followed him inside and watched as he pulled open a hidden door in the floor.
He knelt beside it. "If you ever need to hide in Essex, this is the place."
She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Do you want to see?"
She shook her head, still smiling. "I didn't come all the way out here to go back in a bunker."
He stood. "Of course you didn't," he said, shutting the door. "I've got a better idea."
At one time, the structure had been a water slide. Eve had been nervous climbing to the top, but the view from up high was breathtaking. It wouldn't have been more than 30 meters up, but she had spent so much of her life underground that it was a whole new experience.
The wind messed her hair as she turned to David.
"Thank you," she said.
"Oh," he said, "this isn't the best part."
She blinked. "What?"
He pulled a large old empty hessian sack from a pile on the floor and handed it to her.
"What is this for?"
He smiled. "You sit on it."
She looked at the old slide, a twisting tube of darkness.
"I'm not going down that. There could be anything in there."
"I'll just have to go first, then," he said, tossing the bag down and disappearing into the hole.
"David!"
It seemed like ages before he appeared at the bottom, laughing and waving up to her. She was so relieved she nearly cried.
"I'm taking the stairs!" she called down.
"Don't you dare!" He yelled up at her. "You'll never feel so alive!"
She looked back at the slide. The structure was old and about to fall apart, and even thinking about it was stupid and reckless.
What did she have to lose?
She set the back down and sat. And after a deep breath, she launched herself on the wildest, scariest, most exhilarating 30 seconds of her life. He was there to catch her at the bottom.
And she knew she'd found him, the person she could trust with her life. And her death.
"We should go," she said pushing the hair out of her eyes.
"So soon?"
She started toward the beach.
"It's time." She turned to him. "It's time to go."