A/N: I've been writing so much fluff recently and I've missed writing angst so I did this. I feel like you're all going to hate me so much by the end of it, oh my god.
I'm sorry, friends, I just like angst so much oKAY PAIN ʘ‿ʘ SUFFERING ʘ‿ʘ BLOOD ʘ‿ʘ
xxx
"Wally." Dick turns his head to him and smiles, there's blood dripping from his teeth to his lips, to the floor and Wally knows it's not real blood, he knows it's a synthetic one Batman's just developed, but it still sends shivers down his spine and all the way back up. Seeing his best friend like this is horrible, but there's kind of a twisted beauty to it and Wally can't look away, he's mesmerized. "Hey, Walls."
His legs are vibrating, itching to run. He wants to run towards his teammate, his friend, his best friendand, at the same time, he wants to run away from him and never come back, but Bruce's grip on his arm tightens and keeps him still. "Don't."
"I knew it was you the minute you walked in." Dick continues, his eyes are blue and bloodshot and in pain. "You smell different from everyone else, you smell better, smell so good." He laughs and the laughter is different the his usual crackle, this one is dark and sick and the most horrible thing Wally's ever heard, but then it turns into sobs and thatis the most horrible thing he's ever heard. Five years of being friends with the kid and the speedster never saw him cry. Beated, yes, Bloody, yes, Dying, yes, but never crying." I bet you taste really good too. I need to... I need you. Why aren't you here when I need you?"
Wally gets out of Bruce's grasp and is on his best friend's side in a second. Barry arrives at the same time he does and tries to pull him back.
"Kid, Kid, stop, don't go near him!" Barry's yelling at him.
"Kid Flash, he's not Robin anymore." Bruce's voice is commanding and Wally snaps because it is Robin and Robin is in pain and he's crying and sobbing and needing his best friend.
"HE'S RESTRAINED! He's chained to the wall like a prisoner, like a freaking monster! He won't do anything to me, he can't do anything to me, so just. Let. Me. Go."
Barry does, momentarily shocked at his nephew's anger.
"You once said you would do anything for me." Dick focus on him, ignoring everyone else on the room and licking his lips. His fangs appears. "Doesn't that include dying?"
"Rob." Wally's legs finally give in and he falls to the floor when the realization finally hits him. He would. He would do anything Dick asked of him and now Dick's asking him to die.
"I need your blood, Wally. I need it. It smells so good. It.. It... It smells like heaven. I'm dead, ain't I? Why can't I go to heaven, then? I want to, that's... That's where my parents are and I want to see them again, I want to..."
"Everybody out." Bruce cuts him off. "Kid Flash, I said out."
Barry takes his nephew hands and leads him out of the room. Wally has no strength to fight him.
"It's not working." Bruce says as soon as the door closes behind them, locking Robin away, but Wally's still looking in his direction. "I tried synthetic blood and animal's blood and every blood type from Gotham's hospital, but he's still hungry. And when he gets hungry, he gets... His animal instincts take over. He gets less human. That's the most coherent he's been for days. And I think Wallace's presence might be the reason."
Wally snaps out of his stupor when he hears his name.
"He's somehow drawn to your blood. Only the smell of it makes him better."
Wally wants to throw up. Robin crying and sobbing and begging Wally to let him kill him was better?
"I don't like where you're going with this, Bats." Barry says, crossing his arms.
"We could take a sample of Kid Flash's blood and analyze it." Bruce answers. "His blood may have the answer to changing Robin back to human."
"No." Barry shakes his head. "You've analyzed a meta's blood before. Hell, you analyzed the entire league's, to no avail. What happens when Wally's blood fails to give you answers? Are you going to feed it to Dick? Are you going to feed it to him so he gets lucid enough for you to kid yourself that he's fine?" Barry takes a deep breath and reaches for the millionaire's shoulder. "Bruce, he's dead. His heart isn't beating anymore, he's..."
"No!" The negative reply comes, but not from the person Barry expected. "No!" Wally cries, once again, letting the tears finally fall from his eyes. "He can't be dead, he just can't!" Wally had lost him once, Wally had to go to his funeral. And now he finds out Robin's alive, but not really and he can't go through it again, he won't.
"Wally."
"I'll do it. I'll give you my blood, Bruce, and if it fails, then I'll give him my blood, I don't care! I did promise him, uncle Barry, I promised him I'd do anything for him and I will."
"Will you die for him?" Barry holds his hands and kneels next to him.
Yes."I'm not gonna die, uncle B." Wally tries to smile back at him. I heal really fast."
"Absolutely not, Wally! I can't let you do this!"
"This is my decision, not yours." Wally pulls him into a hug and feels himself melt when Barry hugs him back.
"Please, uncle B. I need to do this, I want to do this and I will do it, whether you like it or not. The only way you can stop me is locking me up somewhere. I'm not asking for your permission. I'd like your understanding, though."
"I suppose that, even if I do lock you up, you'll just find a way, like you'll miraculously learn how to phase through things and then proceed to do whatever you want, won't you?" Barry attemps a joke and a smile and it feels flat.
"Yup." Wally wants to smile back at him, wants to reassure him that everything will be okay, but he can't find the strength inside of him. He's tired.
Barry must be tired as well because he says nothing.
"We can start the tests right away, so it'll be over soon, and you'll be free to leave with your uncle." Bruce gestures for him.
"No, I want to stay." Wally feels panic rising at the realization that Bruce will probably kick him out as soon as the tests are done because that's classic Batman. The man is known for being secretive and working alone and, considering he kept Wally and the entire Young Justice team in the dark about what really happened to Robin, - he let them mourn him and bury him,when he wasn't even dead, - and he could do it all again. "I can help you with the analysis. I'm a physics major and I minor in chemistry, I aced my LSATs and I'm a science genius. I also replicated the Flash's experiment at twelve and gave myself superpowers. Would you like me to keep going or do you want me to email you my resumè?" He stops and takes a breath deep enough to help him face the bat-glare.
"Kid." Barry would be a lot more amused at the way his nephew is talking to Batman if the situation wasn't so serious, considering his nephew's history of being terrified of the guy since the fatal day Batman discovered him and Dick hanging out on the batcave. But he's still a bit proud of Wally for standing up for himself and decides he won't hide it. He squeezes his partner's shoulder in silent support.
"Stand down, Kid Flash. This is my investigation and I'll conduct it the way I deem fit. Your desire to help is noted and appreciated, but unnecessary, nevertheless. I've already got experts working on the case and you'll be notified of any progress they do."
"Not good enough."
"This is not up for debate. I'm not obliged to tell you anything after I take your blood, but you and Dick were close, he trusted you and I'm taking it into account. I'm doing it out of respect for my son, because he'd like for you to be informed, but that's it. You will follow my orders or you will..."
"Your experts." Wally cuts him off and that's going on the 'never ever ever to do again' list. "Whoever they are, they're not good enough. They're notmotivatedenough. I am."
"Are you implying my investigation lacks... motivation?" Bruce's tone grows a whole other level of deadly and Barry steps in front of Wally, pushing him back.
"You know that's not what he means, Bruce."
"Enlighten me on your nephew's choice of words, then." Bruce says, voice and face unaltered and Wally sees dark shadows under his eyes before he looks away.
"If you'll allow me, master Bruce." A new voice enters the room and everyone turns around to see Bruce's butler Alfred standing near them. Wally's surprised, but not a lot because he knows disappearing and appearing out of freaking nowhereis a trail of the bat family. Wally remembers the guy from the times Dick invited him to the manor and how a ten years old Dick introduced him as Batman's kind-of-dad, so Wally can't help, but think that it makes him Dick's kind-of-granddad. "To my mind, master Wallace was probably only hinting at something I've been trying to tell you since you were a young sir."
"And what's that, Alfred?" Bruce turns to him and his voice stays the same, but there's something very different about the way he addresses the other."
"The fact that you are human, master Bruce. I know from experience that it is not your favorite thing to hear, but I must insist on saying it."
They lock eyes from what it seems like eternity and both Wally and Barry get the feeling that this is a topic commonly discussed between the two of them. Bruce finally nods and turns away, to the bat computer, ignoring everybody else in the room.
"Master Wallace, your help will be much appreciated, but we can all agree we need a night of rest so we can return to the investigation in the morning. If you'll follow me, I can arrange for you to stay in one of the guest bedrooms." Alfred gestures for him to follow and Barry is the first one to react, bringing his nephew along and out of the batcave.
xxx
Wally's blood works and, for a few hours Dick is okay and the world is back to making sense, but then the effect wears off and he starts gettinghungryagain. Bruce runs test after test, and there's nothing that explains what's happening and why Wally's blood affects him this way, but he refuses to give up. The only problem with his relentless plan is that between being Bruce Wayne, Batman, and trying desperately to save his sidekick/partner, it doesn't leave much time to actually be with Dick, talk to him and show he cares; so Wally does. Wally stops trying to fix this and starts spending as much time as he possibly can with his best friend.
"You don't have to stay." Dick tells him, one day. He was fed five hours ago with Wally's blood sample and he's still coherent and sane, but saying that he's back to his old self would be a lie. He doesn't laugh or joke or let Wally come anywhere near him.
But he's alive. Wally's lost count of the times he had to remind himself that, he lost count of the times he woke up from a nightmare and had to go down to the batcave just to see him and be reminded that everything was going to be okay. Maybe they can't cure him or turn him back to human, but they can think of a plan, they can adapt and it will be okay. Dick's alive so it has to be.
"I want to stay." He shrugs, legs itching to run again, but he doesn't know where to.
"Why?" Dick's pressed against the wall, embracing his knees.
Wally gets angry and maybe it's because he's been there for three months already and there's no answers, maybe because Dick just keeps pushing him away or maybe because Wally knows it's stupid to think they're going to be okay after this.
"How can you not know why? Dick, it's because you're my best friend!" His voice grows louder and then he's yelling. And he just grows angrier when he watches the brunet mumble something to his knees. "What was that?"
Dick doesn't answer and Wally feels his blood boil. Dick used to tell him everything, things he never dared to tell anyone else, but now he's refusing to even look at him and Wally can't handle it.
"Talk to me!" He gets up and goes to him, watching the brunet shrink even more against the wall. He knows that if it weren't for the chains keeping him in place, Dick would have fled. Dick would have tried to run away from him, which is: one, insulting because, hey, Wally's got super speed, and two, incredibly hurtful because Wally's just trying to help. "Dick, you need to talk to me, you haveto talk to me, please." He holds his wrists steady and only then realizes Dick's entire body's shaking. "Dude, you need to feed!"
"It's not time yet." Dick mumbles, trying to push the redhead off.
"I don't care if it's not time yet, you're in pain." Wally tries pulling him into his feet, but Dick's having none of this.
"Batman has set a schedule, and it's not time yet, you can't..."
"I don't care about Batman, dude, I care about you and you. Need. Blood. Now."
"Stop it!" Dick's suddenly on his feet and shoving Wally away with an anger he didn't even know was possible to have. "Stop caring, stop being so nice, just stop it!"
"Dick." Wally reaches for him. "You're my..."
"Was! I was your best friend, and then I died and nothing you can do will change it."
"You're not dead!" Dick's yelling and Wally's yelling back at him, even though he knows he shouldn't be, but he can't help himself. Focusing on being angry is easier and it's the only thing keeping him from breaking down. Most of the time he just wants to sit down and cry because none of this is fair, because Dick doesn't deserve this, any of this, neither does Alfred or even Bruce, and all Wally wants is his best friend back.
"But I am! Wally, look at me. Snap out of your fucking denial and LOOK AT ME! He yells and tries to move, but the chains keep him still, so he lets himself fall down to the floor, and the yells die out in his throat. "I'm dead so you should just let me die."
"No." Wally shakes his head from side to side, his eyes burning and prickling with tears. "You don't mean that." He can't mean that.
"Wally." The voice's weak and quivering and... No. No!
"No, not when I can help, not when my blood's the only thing that can help you, Dick. I am not giving up on you like that! I said I'd do anything for you, but that's not... You can't ask..." Wally takes a step back. "You're my best friend, whether you like it or not, and I'm not letting you die!" His hand drops to his boots and he takes a knife out of a secret compartment.
"Wally, what are you..." Thisfinally makes Dick look him in the eye.
"You need to feed and Bruce took away all the samples to get them tested, so we're trying something new."
"Don't you dare." Dick tries again, pleading, and also warning, but his body unconsciously reaches for the other because he can hear the blood pumping in the redhead's veins, he can smell it and it smells delicious."I don't want to hurt you, I don't..."
And then he stops. He stops because Wally's running the blade through his wrist. Wally watches the blood pour out of the open wound, then hears chains clashing and turns around to see Dick on his feet, pulling them the farther he can from the wall, in Wally's direction.
Wally goes to him, slowly, slower than he's ever moved in his life and he doesn't know why. He knows he should hurry, he knows that he only has a limited amount of time before his metabolism kicks in and heals it, but he feels heavy under Dick's stare. When he gets to where he's best friend is, he kneels down and Dick follows him to the ground.
"I heal really fast, it's okay." He says and realizes he's shaking. The look on Dick's face is new, it's predatory and maniac, but he isn't really scared. No, that isn't true. He is scared, he's scared because he knows it's dangerous, but there's something more to it. He looks at Robin's eyes and realizes what it is, realizes there's a want,a crude and wild want, that is driving him towards the other. He feels sick and dirty and knows that he's probably going insane, but he can't stop now.
Robin needs it. Robin needs him and Wally wants this.
Wally offers him the arm and Dick takes it eagerly. He sniffs it at first and then touches it reluctantly, with the tip of his tongue, but it only lasts for a second, because then he's licking and sucking and biting and moaning.
It's unbearable; the pain of having Dick tear him apart with his fangs, of having him suck on the sensitive skin, of hearing him moan and knowing he's only doing it because he needs the blood, not because... No, Wally can't allow himself to go there. It all stings and burns and Wally bites on his lower lip hard, harder than he's ever had, to keep himself from screaming. He doesn't want to scare Dick off, he doesn't want him to stop or to move away because Dick needs it.
He bites so hard he tears apart his own lip, slightly cutting it open. Dick notices, probably smelling more blood, and raises his head to look at Wally; his eyes are dazed, for a moment, as if he just woke up from a dream, and then they turn dazzled and dark, his pupils dilated so much the redhead can't see any specks of blue, and it's as if he just woke up from a really nice dream.
It's scary. It's scary because Wally knows he can't reach Dick when he's like this, when the one and only thought in his best friend's head is of draining more blood, of drinking more and more until there's nothing left, until Wally ends up dry and empty and dead. But, at the same time, Wally's mesmerized at how intoxicated Dick looks, he's mesmerized because he's responsible for this. His blood did that to Dick and it's beautiful.
It's so beautiful, he can't look away.
Dick's hands are suddenly on his neck, and their faces are close, and yet not close enough. Wally breathes out and shivers because his fingers are so cold,but doesn't move away. He doesn't think he could have moved even if he wanted to. Dick's lips are swollen from all the drinking and slightly parted. Wally has a moment to wonder if Dick's going to kiss him and then Dick's kissing him.
No, not kissing, but licking and sucking and biting on his lip, and the pain becomes pleasure. Dick tugs the speedster's lower lips and it's Wally who goes after him when he finally releases it. He pushes Dick back against the wall and, he doesn't know when this happened, but suddenly his hands are on Dick's waist, touching him beneath his shirt, desperately roaming every inch of bare skin he can find.
Dick's skin is cold, and Wally's burning up, so Dick presses their bodies harder together. It burns, but the pain is good, it reminds him of what being alive feels like.
"I..." Wally's feels himself starting to feel dizzy, the feeling's close to of being drunk, but he can't be drunk, he's not the one drinkingThe whole thing's very confusing, and he stops trying to understand what's happening because he can't focus. He can't focus, not when Dick's full on making out with him. "I love you." He only realizes what he just said when it's out and he doesn't know if these feelings are new, if Dick's making him feel them with his new vampire powers, or if that's how he always felt towards his best friend. The only thing he knows for sure is that they're true.They're real and Wally has never been more sure of anything in his life. "Dick, I can't let you go because I love you."
The kiss, which started hungry and desperate, turns gentle. Dick slowly backs away and Wally notices his eyes are back to blue. They're blue and shining with unshed tears, but he doesn't let them fall. Dick goes to kiss him again, and this time it's only a brush of lips. "And I hate you for it, Walls." He says, lips still brushing once more against the redhead's. "I hate you so much." Wally just holds him.