tortured.html Author's Notes: This is a really dark, really angsty poem from Heero's point of view. I was feeling freak-ish ok??? ^_~ Um, this isn't what I really think Heero thinks like, but I'm kinda writing this as if he were a madman. O.o Anyway, check it out for yourself.

Disclaimer: Me to belong not does Wing Gundam. ^_^

~Tortured
In the loneliest region
Of my tortured soul
Lies a mystery
That shall remain untold

Of burning and seething
And the worst of all pains
Trapped within my locked heart
And more relapses of the same

And when they told me it was over
When I began to tire
The pain just started again
Spreading like wildfire

And if I learned something
It would have to be this
Next time I give up my life
It should be for bliss

Because in the fires of war
There's no way to return
To who I once was
And my destiny that I turned

When I hide them inside
When my emotions were sealed
No one would have to see me cry
See my true self revealed

Because there's panic and need
And when they collide
It takes everything of me
To keep the screams concealed inside

When I smell the foulness
Of a war in it's haste
When I feel their death
Just like my own blood's bitter taste

And I despise that familiar feeling
That feeling that thrives
When I can hear them screaming
Right before I take their lives

At times I wished to be dead
And sometimes I'd plea
With the dark Death itself
To set my soul free

I've seen much too much
With my once innocent eyes
And I'm tired of living
Because everything I touch dies

I want to erase everything
And start over at my own pace
So I can live in a world
Where I can show my face

It's hard to admit
I liked the thrill of the fight
And that feeling around me
When I was in flight

But if I had the chance
I would give that all back
To be someone new
To be on the right track

However I fear
My destiny has been written
And in time my own heart
Will be completely forbidden

Frozen with hate
Burned to the bone
I'd live my last years
Utterly alone

And when I hear that name
Heero Yuy, they called me
It just reminds me of someone
That I could truly never be

My will to fight
Has all been programed
And all my good thoughts
Have all been damned

So there's nothing left inside of me
I'm a soldier with no soul
And soon my heart also
Will be as black as coal

AN- O.o