Disclaimer: So, somehow all of my fanfics so far are Black Rock Shooter ones. Pretty crazy. But I don't own Black Rock Shooter.
Hey everyone! I wrote this when I was sick with a fever. Unfortunately, this story has nothing to do with fevers. At the time I was watching the second episode of Black Rock Shooter and it seemed really surreal to me. I guess that's why I wrote this?
How did this happen?
Yomi didn't know why she was unbuttoning her shirt. Her eyes were fixed on the needle, her tears still wet on her cheeks. She could feel the macaroon crumbs on her lips. Up until then, things had been normal – relatively normal.
My hands won't stop moving.
One, two, three – an easy progression down. Her hands were shaking. Her breaths felt labored even to herself. It was as though her body was already preparing to run, but for some reason, she stayed. She couldn't run. There was no way out – no exit.
This is all my fault.
Kagari was like this because of her. Yomi knew that. She saw the car crash happen with her own eyes. How could she possibly forget? She has to take responsibility somehow. If she just did what Kagari wanted…then what? Then what would happen? Would Kagari get better? If Yomi just sat back would Kagari become instantly cured? Leap up from her wheelchair, go to school, have a normal life?
No, she wouldn't.
"That's enough," Kagari said, and Yomi's hands dropped limply down to her sides. Her breaths were coming out quickly, fresh tears marking trails down her cheeks again.
"Kagari," said Yomi, her shoulders trembling. She didn't know why she said her name – it wasn't as though Kagari would stop. Yomi knew when Kagari's mind was made up, and besides, it's not like Yomi could change Kagari's mind anyways.
It's useless.
Or was it? Yomi could stop this, couldn't she? She could grab Kagari, push her away. Kagari isn't very strong. Yomi could do that. Or Yomi could say no. She had never said no to Kagari – not really. Why doesn't she do that now? Why, when it matters? That needle Kagari was holding looked so sharp, the light glinting off the end accentuating it. God…that thing would leave a scar if Kagari did what Yomi thought she was going to do. So then…why?
I deserve it.
Kagari looked at her then, and her eyes, liquid golden, seemed to be devoid of emotion.
"Poor Yomi," Kagari said, flatly. She brought up one hand to caress Yomi's hair in a gesture that made Yomi shudder away from her. At that, Kagari's hand stopped and her eyes narrowed. "…what's wrong, Yomi?"
I want to go to the festival. I want to make new friends. I want to be free.
"Nothing," Yomi said.
"You're a bad liar," Kagari told her. "Now," she looked at Yomi appraisingly, raised the needle. "Hold still."
The needle plunged down. For a brief moment, there was no pain – only shock.
Oh my god…
Then the pain. Sharp. Cutting. Kagari's eyebrows were furrowed, frowning slightly, as though she was working on some difficult math problem.
Kagari is…
Kagari bit her lip, muttered something under her breath. The needle stalled in its movements briefly, though it was still lodged in Yomi's skin, still ready to continue its slow path, patient in Kagari's hands.
Kagari is actually…
It was only for a moment, however. Soon enough Kagari started carving with the needle again, agonizingly slowly. It skittered over flesh, flicked flecks of blood on Yomi's chest, staining a little bit of Kagari's immaculate bedclothes with red.
The needle…
The slowness was the worst part. That, and the fact that Kagari tried to keep the needle in the skin as she worked - or carved, more like. It was as though she wanted to carve a hole in Yomi's chest. Nothing there. Nothing inside. Just a hole.
It hurts…
Yomi could see the blood on the needle now. Kagari paused and lifted it, and Yomi saw, to her horror, her disgust, the blood slowly, lethargically dripping from the tip of the needle. Kagari examined it, smiling a little to herself. Yomi tried to raise her head, but the movement caused searing pain from her chest and gasping Yomi's head fell back.
Stop it…
"I'm not done yet," said Kagari, after noticing Yomi's slight movement.
In that moment, Yomi felt as though she hated Kagari more than anything else in the whole world, but it lasted only for a brief flash, a short spark of a moment before fading away, replaced by the familiar feelings of guilt and resignation. Yomi hiccupped out a small sob, brought a shaking arm up to her eyes as she felt the needle go down again, piercing through new skin. Yomi could feel blood, her own blood, run down her chest.
I can't take this anymore…
If only Yomi was like Mato – brave and confident and willing to take on anything. If only she was like her, instead of being scared and shy all the time. Then things would be better, Yomi was sure of it. If she was just like Mato. But she wasn't. She wasn't like Mato at all. She couldn't even stop this from happening. She could have, but she didn't.
All Yomi could do was rely on others.
Someone…help me…
But there was no one, no one at all.