Author's Notes: Written pre-HBP, so AU after OotP.
"In recognition for your services, the Ministry of Magic offers you…"
Arthur forced his falsely happy smile to remain in place as he tuned out the speech. He didn't want to seem ungrateful for the rewards the Ministry was offering him for his part in defeating You Know Who. Not that he thought his part was as large as many of the other Order of the Phoenix members. Some of them, like Severus Snape, weren't receiving any recognition whatsoever. The man was lucky to have survived through the war, yet the majority of the wizarding population still believed that he was a conniving Death Eater who should have received the Dementor's Kiss, or at the very least ended up in Azkaban with the majority of the others.
That was largely the problem with the whole setup, Arthur supposed. If the Ministry was going to hold drawn-out ceremonies for war veterans, as they were calling Arthur and others like him, then Arthur would rather see the more deserving people up on the stage receiving their well earned acknowledgments. Harry Potter himself seemed to be the only person who'd actually properly earned his award, and yet he'd also been the only one to end up boycotting the event altogether. He had similar reservations to Arthur, probably. The fact that the boy had become reasonably close to Snape couldn't have helped matters, either.
"…and in recognition of the hurts done unto you by one Lucius Malfoy in particular, the Ministry has deemed to grant unsupervised entrance into his Azkaban cell at the time of your choosing."
Arthur's jaw dropped. They were giving him Lucius unsupervised. So many things could be done when no one was watching; things that Arthur might later come to regret. He didn't really want to think about what he would do alone in a room with that man with no one to hold him back.
The main reason Arthur suspected he was receiving his reward was the very public murders of his wife and three of his children at Lucius's hands. Lucius had convinced You Know Who that they should make an example of the 'blood traitors' and had been allowed to focus the attack on his family in particular.
Bill had been the first to be killed, out on an Order mission that went awry. George had been the next target, cursed down while working in the twins' joke shop as Fred furiously fired curses back at the Death Eaters. Fred, thank Merlin, had escaped with very little harm. Molly, blinded by her own fury, had then attempted to track Lucius down to exact her revenge. She found him, and he killed her. Arthur himself had found her body slung haphazardly across their front yard. The last death had been Ron's, and Arthur suspected that this was as much because he was Harry Potter's best friend as anything else. It had certainly spurred Harry into action.
That had been less than two months ago. Harry had brought down You Know Who about three weeks after Ron was taken from school and later found hanging from one of the rings he so devotedly tried to defend on the Quidditch Pitch. The Ministry had only just recovered from the devastation caused by the war. It had taken them four weeks to sort out the chaos. Arthur hadn't set foot in the place once in that time, ignoring his job in favour of wasting away with his grief.
Arthur abandoned the Order of Merlin ceremony once his small part was over, needing some time to himself to think it all over. He knew what Fred and Ginny would both have to say on the matter. Neither of them were likely to feel any compassion for Lucius Malfoy after what he'd done. Charlie, on the other hand, would probably tell Arthur not to go. "You'll only end up hating yourself for it," Charlie would say. It wasn't that he didn't care for his lost siblings; Charlie and Bill had been just as close as Fred and George, in their own way. But Charlie was simply more level-headed than the others. Arthur didn't have a clue what Percy would think of it, on the other hand. Perhaps he'd just shrug and say he didn't care. It seemed that he wasn't part of the family at all these days, after all.
But Arthur really didn't know that he could make a decision based on other people's opinions, presumed or otherwise, even if those other people were his own beloved children. He had to decide for himself, and then learn to live with his decision, whatever may come of it.
Arthur clutched the side of the small boat hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He was tense with regards to his imminent arrival on the island on which Azkaban was situated; as much so as he would have been had he been journeying towards the Dementors to be Kissed instead.
When he finally stepped off the boat, he was unsteady on his shaking legs. By then, however, he wasn't entirely certain whether it was fear or slowly escalating rage that was causing the reaction.
He was led into the prison by two drawn-looking human guards. He couldn't imagine voluntarily spending any large part of his life on that island amongst the foul creatures that walked the halls. No amount of money was worth the personal horrors of which their pale faces attested. It was little wonder that they usually stayed as close to the entrance of the large building as possible. Otherwise, the punishment would have been just as if they were prisoners there themselves.
The cold was even more terrible once Arthur reached the perimeter of Lucius' cell. The guards informed him that this section of the prison was high security, and thus more Dementors inhabited the area. Arthur was more inclined to believe that those men and woman lying on the cell floors were the ones who had been most recently admitted, and thus were just more attractive to the Dementors. The guards didn't seem too worried that they'd find Arthur, with all his memories still intact, particularly appetising. He supposed that they weren't expecting him to feel much happiness at all throughout his visit. They weren't far wrong, he thought.
In fact, he felt nothing at all as the metal bars swung shut and locked behind him. The guards walked away, leaving him alone with Lucius, who didn't even look up to acknowledge his presence. Still, he only felt a cool numbness and the slight shadow of despair caused by the Dementors' presence.
He stood silently surveying the body for a long while. It heaving slightly with each inhale and exhale of breath, but otherwise remained completely still. The face of the man he'd hated for so many years was invisible to Arthur, turned in the opposite direction. It would be a wonder if he could see it clearly even if the man turned around, so dark was the small cell.
"Lucius," he finally greeted genially.
The blonde showed no sign of having heard his name.
"Lucius," Arthur repeated, "I know you've been told to expect me. They've probably told you to prepare for death, even. They certainly seemed to believe that I would kill you."
"Won't you?" Lucius finally responded. His voice was nothing like the smooth, confident drawl Arthur remembered. It was hoarse, probably from screaming, and it quavered slightly, maybe as if he was afraid of the other man. Arthur doubted this. It was more likely that he'd simply become over-accustomed to the Dementors.
"I'd like to say no, but I can't really be sure what I'll do," he responded truthfully.
"Then why did you come, if not for vengeance?"
Arthur narrowed his eyes and stalked up to Lucius. He reached down and grasped the man's chin, forcing his pointed face up to look at him. The silver eyes that had once been deep and piercing had already taken on the dead quality of all long-term prisoners. As strong as the man's will had always been, he would not survive the prison much longer. Certainly, he would probably fall into insanity before the month was out.
"What did you come for?" Lucius suddenly shouted, grabbing my arm and pushing it feebly away from where it was touching him. "If you are going to kill me, do it! Don't make me wait!"
Arthur reached down and slapped the other man before he'd even realised he'd moved. He looked uncomprehendingly at his stinging hand for a long while before turning his gaze back to the man sprawled vulnerably on the floor. They weren't the almost-even match they once would have been. Once, Lucius would have been able to overpower Arthur both physically or magically, though Arthur would have been sure to give him a bit of a run for his vast amount of money first. Now neither of them possessed a wand – Lucius's had long since been snapped, and Arthur had been forced to leave his at the entrance – and Lucius was far too physically drained to even strike back.
"I'd rather you killed me," Lucius said hoarsely, rolling back over from where he had fallen so that he could face the other man once more. He was still as proud as ever, even in defeat; even as he lay helpless, asking for death.
Arthur sighed. "Why would I do that, Lucius? One life for the countless innocents you murdered in your heyday? One life for the four members of my family you stole from me? Is that fair? No, fairer for you to have to suffer an eternity. Pity you won't last that long."
"You don't fool me, Weasley. You aren't a cruel man," Lucius responded. A mad sort of smirk crossed his face. "No matter what I've done to you, you won't force me through similar torment, surely. You're what's considered a 'good' man. You're family was – and still is, for those who are left – a 'good' family. It was your downfall in the end, true, but it does prove that you are not as heartless as some, myself included."
"No," Arthur agreed. "I'm not a cruel man. If I'd had the choice, I would have sent you to be executed the minute you're guilt was proven. Azkaban is a pointless torture and usually ends in death anyway. But I won't be a murderer directly. And I won't have your suffering on my conscience if I leave you here, for it wasn't me who sealed your fate. You did that yourself."
"Weasley," Lucius said, sounding suddenly very tired. "What's happened to my son?"
Arthur was slightly taken-aback by the sudden change of topics. "He's well. Living alone just outside London last I heard. Few people actually believe that he was an innocent in the war, and fewer still trust him, but without a Mark on his arm…"
Lucius exhaled a breath in what might have been a small laugh. "No one who involves themselves in war is innocent, Weasley. Do remember that. You have blood on your hands as much as I do. The only difference is that you killed Death Eaters, and I was one."
He paused thoughtfully and then laughed again, quite distinctly this time. "And how about Severus? Did he manage to slither his way out of incarceration again?"
Arthur nodded slightly. "The Ministry accepts that he was only doing his duty as a spy."
Lucius smirked. "Killing innocents for the right cause is, of course, excusable, isn't it? Good for him, though. Can't fault a man who plays the game to his advantage and has an imperturbable poker face. Whoever had won, he would have come out on top. That's resilience."
"He was on our side. He'd completely renounced You Know You in all but outward appearance," Arthur insisted.
"He would have switched if it had been the Dark Lord who'd triumphed, make no mistake. A Slytherin will do everything in his power to escape paying for his own mistakes. It's our nature."
"Slippery as snakes," Arthur agreed. "But enough chat, Lucius. I have faced you, and now I am done with you."
"No, you're not," Lucius replied calmly.
I raised my eyebrows at him. "I am, actually."
"No. You haven't taken your vengeance yet," Lucius pointed out. "Whatever you want to believe, that's what you came for. I wouldn't like you to leave empty-handed."
"As you so succinctly pointed out earlier, Malfoy, I'm not like you. Revenge is useless to me, and I'm interested in pettiness."
"Come here, then," Lucius commanded.
"I beg your pardon," Arthur said incredulously.
"Come here," he repeated. "If you don't want to be petty, come closer to me so I can see you. It's so dark that I can't see you properly. If you are the last person I'm ever to see before I die, I want to actually be able to see you. It's my right."
"Your right," Arthur repeated in amazement, but found myself slowly stepping toward him nonetheless. "You have no rights anymore."
Lucius tried to pull himself up and, out of instinct, Arthur reached for him to stop him from falling. It was a strange thing, that after all the man had done to him, Arthur still had the basic instinct to protect him from further harm. He blamed it on the feeble condition Lucius was currently in. It seemed impossible to muster hatred for and want to bring harm to a man who was already nearly broken.
Lucius grabbed Arthur's arm and abruptly yanked on it with all the might he had stored within him. It wasn't much, but it was sufficient to unbalance him and cause him to topple down on top of Lucius. He tensed, expecting the other man to try to attack him now that he had the upper hand. The guards would be too far away if Lucius somehow found the strength to strangle him. But Lucius just lay there, looking at him.
Then there suddenly was an attack, but of an entirely unexpected kind. Lucius leaned his head in towards Arthur's and forced their lips to meet. Arthur's eyes went wide and he tried to struggle away, yet it seemed his arms seemed suddenly even weaker than Lucius's. Perhaps the other man's will was stronger.
The kiss couldn't have lasted all that long before Lucius pulled away. The two men surveyed each other for a long while.
"There you have it," Lucius finally said. "You now have the two things that you came for. You wanted revenge, however much you want to deny it. I have given it to you; you may tell the world that I was queer, thus disgracing myself, my name and my heir, and also having the added bonus of letting the boy know that he was conceived out of duty, not that he doesn't already suspect as much.
"You also wanted to know why I hated you so much, and why I targeted you and your family. The answer is quite simply that I'm obsessed with you. Merlin knows I would like to be a normal pureblood. I'd like to have loved my wife and yearned for no one, especially not a Muggle-loving blood traitor who happens to also be of my own gender."
"You're in love with me?" Arthur asked. It seemed so unbelievable.
Lucius scoffed. "Of course not. I lusted after you. It's not the same thing at all. Mere obsession. Don't get any ideas in your head; I know your kind. You will wonder whether you could have used it to stop all this if you'd only known. Well, I was never redeemable, you could not have helped me, I would not have done a single thing for you, not even refraining from killing your family.
"Now, you have what you came for. I have given you a part of myself. Now let me salvage the remainder of my pride and continue my slow journey into death."
Arthur, jaw still dropped, backed up. He called for the guard to let him out. He stood waiting, staring out the bars at the dreary hall and searching for the moving shadows that would indicate the guards' approach. Unexpectedly, he wheeled around and struck Lucius across the face once more. Then he leaned down and grasped the man's face with both hands, kissing him once again. It was short and slightly painful, but also immeasurably intense. Both men gasped for breath a moment later when they separated.
"You have given me nothing but more grief," Arthur hissed. "You are lucky I am too kind to increase your agony." He then straightened up once more and turned back around. A moment later, the guards arrived to let him out. He didn't look back at Lucius as he was escorted down the hallway.
Three months later, the news of Lucius' death was crammed away in a small article on the third page of the Daily Prophet. Arthur was almost stunned at how something that would have been huge news had it happened soon after You Know Who was vanquished was then considered just a side matter a few months on.
Fred, who had been living at home again since his twin – who had also been his flatmate – had been murdered, looked at the article and smiled almost wickedly and saying nothing. Similarly, Ginny just responded by muttering, "Good," and walking away. Charlie was back in Romania, and when Arthur did eventually mention it to him the next time they talked via Floo, he merely nodded in acceptance of the fact. Percy was heard by one and all publicly praising the Ministry system of punishment, which Arthur assumed was his slightly warped way of reacting with pleasure.
Arthur should have rejoiced. Now he was free of the man. But he said nothing positive or negative about it to anyone, not even himself, and felt nothing but a hollow sort of ache somewhere in the vicinity of his chest.
~FIN~