TMNT: Changes

An OC x Raph Fan Fic

Part 1 of 2

(Sasha POV)

Hot steam filled the room clouding her vision, she didn't mind though, in a way she didn't want to see anyways, as she stared within it, while warm water, a bit hot for her taste beat down her neck, flowing across her small figure.

Water running down her shell, which part of her wanted to have it against her skin instead, so she could at least feel it, some ran down her arms, then over her curves, finally ending up onto the floor flowing through the cracks between the cement floor, towards the drain.

Sasha watched the water, as the steam continued to build, breathing slowly through her mouth, she focused on the water and how it felt against her body.

(One…)

Leaning back looking towards the ceiling, she let the water splash her eyes as they stung, still not caring she closed them letting the running water try to penetrate her eyes lids.

(Two…)

She took note of everything, she noticed how the water felt on her green skin, how her fingers felt when she flinch them hard making a fist then letting go, three fingers how odd of a sensation.

(Three…)

Licking the water that ran down her beak towards her mouth, she caught the drops tasting them, even this was different.

(Four…)

Crossing her legs, she focused on how they felt, the way her skin rubbed together, then with her hand, she trailed it across her plastron it was thick, hard, yet oddly flexible.

The only feeling she had was what her hand felt nothing more, which sadden her, moving up towards her round breast she wanted to feel her hand against them, yet couldn't feel nothing than the plastron itself, ending at the top between the plastron and skin she felt the edge smooth to the touch.

(FIVE!)

Forcing her hands to her sides tilting her head up, not too much to get a mouth full of water, she let it all out, a horrific scream with all the air that was in her lungs, she wanted the steam to absorb her pain, her anger, her frustration.

Sasha wanted the water to wash away, her fear, her doubts, her insecurity.

Not stopping she continued her scream, as her face turned red, her lungs started to burn and her mouth dried, finally, when she couldn't do it any longer, she ended her wailing, collapsing forward gasping for air.

The mist in the room dried her throat, making her cough and wheeze, desperately Sasha tried to breathe, forcing her head up, she opened her mouth to collect some water to loosen her throat to finally get some breaths in.

She felt drained, letting her body weight taking control finding herself falling backwards onto her shell, Sasha stared at the ceiling, watching the mist circle around, like it was dancing for her, with her hand she led the mist this way and that engulf by its performance.

How odd something so simple as this, was so beautiful in its way, looking at her hand that was a different story, to think she finally has the ability to see, to finally put a visual image with a sound or smell that comes her way…

Yet her price was steep, she lost something in return, her human form, she didn't even know what she use to look like, she was blind before, before this happened, now somehow the mutation made her be able to see…

Sure, she could look at some photos of her formal self, but she refused, for the thought only hurt more, it felt like a tease, 'this was you, now your this...'.

Breathing in and out, she felt her plastron rise and fall, still staring at the ceiling, the water was becoming uncomfortable, sighing she rolled over, picking herself up, turning the hot water off, leaving the cold to balance herself before turning it off as well.

Grabbing a towel that was on a shelf, she dried herself off, then placed around her neck, her ruby red pendent, that hung on a gold chain, a trinket, a memento from her late mother, who she had only a few memories of.

She was young when she passed away, ever since then, she has been living an orphan's life, not an easy one that was for sure, being blind, wasn't kind to her, as others use to pick on her, since she wasn't like them.

Shaking her head, she let go of the pendent letting it fall against her chest, she had other things on her mind; the past was something she needed to put on the side for now.

Dried, she threw the towel into the hamper then put on her long yellow cotton short sleeve vest, which went around her shell, but hang long towards her knees.

The front had three buttons near the breast if she wished to button it up, Mikey made it for her so she didn't feel so naked.

Funny thing, the guys walked around naked per say, yet she felt odd not wearing a thing, habits die hard as she figured it was the reason of her discomfort for not wearing anything.

Leaving it unbutton, Sasha felt secure enough at the moment, later she might button it up if she starts feeling uncomfortable, leaving the shower room through the archway that used a curtain to separate it from the room with the toilets, no one was in sight as she viewed herself in the mirror.

Her skin was a light green, the only thing that was the same, that she has been told was her eye color, a ocean blue, ones that someone could get lost in, that's what she was told yet again.

They were beautiful; the shade of color, the way the light hits them, the only thing from her human form…

Breathing deeply she pushed herself off the sink, that she just realized she was leaning against, heading for the door that lead out of the bathroom.

(I hope no one heard me… Probably not, if they did, someone would have ran in the room…)

Entering the living room, the silence hit her ears, there seemed to be no one around, no silly game music playing in the background, or the local news, not even a whisper.

Facing the empty lair, that felt like it was shrinking, she started to hyperventilate, closing her eyes she counted.

(1...2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…..10, I'm not alone, they just probably went on patrol, nothing more, I really need some fresh air… but that means I would have to go… up there.)

Reopening her eyes, she looked towards the ceiling, knowing all to well what was above, the city, the noise, the busy streets of cars and the lingering fumes they made.

But she has been in the lair for so long now, truly losing count how long, it felt like forever, she wanted to go and see, she hasn't seen it yet, only sense it with her other senses when she use to wandered around, visiting the guys when she was human.

Holding herself, she wondered if it was a good idea, she was a turtle not a human, what if someone sees her, could she protect herself?

Sure the guys, meanly Raph, has been training her so she could at least protect herself for she felt helpless after she was mutated, it was sad, as she noticed she felt more helpless as a mutant, then when she was blind.

Not caring anymore, as the urge to see first hand her home in a different light, she ran up the stairs to her room, that was once a storage room that guys used, but recently cleaned up for her to use, entering her room she went to her closet first.

Hanging on a hook was a used oversized women's winter jacket that Raph found for her in case she did have to go outside, considering it was the middle of winter.

Her old jacket wouldn't fit over her shell, this one fit over it well, so she can keep her body heat in and conceal herself from prying eyes.

Scrambling through a box on the floor with some clothes that were gathered from April for emergencies for disguises or if she felt she wanted to wear something, she took out the brown pants, putting them on, including a yellow and red stripe winter hat placing it on her head.

Luckily she found some gloves, though it was odd only putting her three fingers through as the two remaining just flopped there, ignoring it, she grabbed the pair of white winter boots, putting them on as well.

She wouldn't win any fashion contest, but with a hood on the coat and the rest on, no one would be able to guess she was a turtle.

Deck out and ready to take on the winter cold, Sasha left the lair from the elevator that led to the garage, stepping into the garage she shivered, as she noticed the temperature dropped immensely.

(I guess Donnie doesn't heat this place…)

Making her way to the door, she braved what was awaiting for her, opening the door, Sasha eyes blinked uncontrollably as the light that cast against the white glistening snow irritating them.

Finally adjusting, Sasha looked about, everything was covered in layers of snow, it was so white she couldn't believe how beautiful it glistened in the light, like thousands of stars.

Thinking about stars, she looked up only to her dismay, she could only see gray clouds covering the sky, a bit disappointed she really wanted to see more than just clouds, to finally see what a real star looks like.

Shutting the door behind her, she figured she could take a small, quick walk, then head back before anyone knew she even have left.

Taking a step, she stopped in her tracks, as she felt uneasy, realizing she had no clue where she was or where to go from here.

Yes in the past, she did take a route that brought her here to see the guys, but she used a walking stick to guide her, she never walked around without it, the concept was still new to her, comparing a visual to her old ways, it felt so foreign, so different, that at times it was hard connecting the dots.

(You can do this, its like when you first got used to the lair, feel the area with your foot and hands, focus on the sounds and smells. It's not like anyone is around to see you…)

Taking her own advice she did so, feeling with her foot walking forward, she touched the fence near the sidewalk, recognizing how it felt, she use to take this route she was certain of it.

A bit more confident she smiled, she stopped feeling her surroundings, just letting herself enjoy walking and using her eyes to guide her this time around.

If she was correct, there is a small park not far from here, she could at least take a look at some trees, she wondered how they looked in the winter.

(Raph POV)

The wind blew, ripping through his coat that he foolishly had wide open; perched onto a roof overlooking in towards an alley, Raph wondered if it was going to be one of those nights.

His brothers already retiring for the night, he wanted to take another look around, sure he wanted to get home badly to see Sasha, to see if the kid was feeling any better, but part of him didn't want to.

Not that he didn't want to see her per say, he didn't know how to face her, he felt bad, he felt it was his fault.

Slamming his fist into the concrete roof, he growled.

(DAMN IT! I should have been there for her… How hard was it to meet her, letting her come to the lair alone at night. What the fuck was I thinking?)

Closing his eyes he wanted to beat his fists into a skull of a purple dragon, didn't matter if that purple dragon wasn't at fault for Sasha mutating all of them were going to feel his fury, for what they put her through.

Sniffing the air, it was stale, old, nothing of interest…

Giving up, Raph straiten up looking around as he placed his hand out, catching a snowflake, noticing its detail, funny how he never gave a damn before, yet ever since Sasha been able to see he started to appreciate the little things he use to over look.

(Maybe this would cheer her up?)

Smiling, he had an idea, if he brought her outside to see the snow fall, it might lighten her mood, it was a long shot, but he had to do something.

He couldn't stand seeing those sad, distant eyes, which will not open up to him anymore, she always was open to him, letting him hear her thoughts and feelings, yet lately she bottling everything up, refusing letting anyone in.

Shaking his head, he wasn't going to let it eat at him, he knew he couldn't force her, but at least he could give her as much support as he can.

Leaping roof to roof, Raph was startled by his shell cell going off, that broke his train of thought, making him lose his footing as he fell backwards hard onto his shell.

Out winded, he laid there on the roof staring at the sky, at least he wasn't jumping over a building and slipped on an edge and fall to his death, or really injuring himself.

It rang annoyingly, finally giving up to its constant beckoning for him to answer, he flipped the lid up.

"WHAT!" he huffed growling through his teeth, then fear caught him as he realized it could be Sasha on the other line.

Feeling like a fool he quickly replied to his rude and abrupt answer, "Sorry, Raph here."

"Well, that is new, you saying sorry," Leo mocked on the other side of the phone.

Narrowing his eyes. Raph should have known, growling again, he sat up slowly, "Shut up! I thought you might have been Sasha, asshole."

"Sure… speaking about Sasha, do you know where she went?" Leo asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

Raph eyes widen, and his throat felt dry, "What do you mean, she is not in the lair!?"

Only silence from Leo answered him, then Raph could hear Donnie and Mikey on the other side talking to Leo, stating they couldn't find her and her winter clothes are not in her room.

The air around Raph became thin, as he feared the worse, where was she, why would she leave the lair, hell where would she go?

"Raph she isn't…." Leo started only to be cut off by Raph, who wasn't in the mood to hear Leo repeat what he already heard.

"Does she have a shell cell?" Raph barked jumping to his feet frantically looking around.

"No, she doesn't, we will start looking around, Raph start heading home, Donnie suggests you taking the route she used to get to the lair. It would be more familiar to her," Leo suggested as Raph could hear his brothers offer to check other places as Leo stated he will stay in the lair in case she returns.

"Fine, Damn it Leo call me if she shows up and don't you dare give her shit for leaving either, ok …" Raph didn't want Leo giving her any lecture or making her feel bad, fearing she might start thinking the lair was some prison, it wasn't, it's just they worried about her… he worried about her.

(Sasha POV)

Reaching the park, it was breath taking, sure it had more snow, like everywhere else, but the lamps were different than the street lights, they were painted black, crafted with fancy designs of swirls with flowers.

The benches where half covered by snow, some looked like someone brushed the snow away showing their green painted wood with stone sides for support.

The trees, they were bare with no leaves, of course, but had something just as spectacular, on many branches dangled long thick icicles, some branches had short and others thin, none were the same size or shape, it was amazing.

Smiling, she looked within the park debating if she should dare, or should she turn around and head back, how long has she been outside?

Thinking on it, she wasn't sure, she had completely lost track of time.

Sasha stood there as her mind wandered, then she just took a step inwards, a quick look wouldn't' hurt, right?

(Just a peek then I will head back!)

Overeager, she walked forward, quickening her steps as the sights overwhelmed her, taking her wrapping her in its beauty.

(So this is what a winter wonderland looks like.)

She always heard that song many times and visualized what it would be like, now she was seeing it first hand, it was better than she ever imagined it to be.

Giggling to herself, she knelt down, taking some snow rolling it into a ball, then throwing it in the air as she watched it fall to the ground, breaking apart on impact, to rejoin the rest of the snow.

This was fun, this was new, this was something she had to admit she wouldn't have experienced before, when she was human.

Yet she felt a bit lonely, the cold nipped at her beak, figuring it was best she headed home, she started to walk to the entrance of the park.

(Raph POV)

Raph rushed forward, pushing himself to his limits, if anything happened to her…

Shaking his head, he couldn't believe this was happening.

(Why couldn't she have waited until I got home? Why did she have to go out alone, at night of all times? Damn it, this is my fault for giving her too much space, I must look like I was ignoring her… What if she thinks I don't care about her anymore?)

Doubts filled the red clad turtle's head; he couldn't help it since he couldn't figure any other reason she would leave in these circumstances.

Weaving in and out of the shadows, he became careless, almost losing his footing a couple times and was almost seen by some humans closing their curtains in their windows.

Yet he didn't care, all thoughts were on her.

Suddenly his heart leaped into his throat, as a blood curdling scream came from somewhere to his right, recognizing it, he grind his teeth, it was Sasha and she was in trouble.

Changing his course he headed for the park he knew wasn't too far away and the screams were coming from there.

Leaping down a fire escape, he rushed into the park, making sure he had his coat zipped up and his hoodie down.

At this moment he didn't want to risk someone noticing him for her sake, yet that said, unless they looked at his legs that could still pose a problem, unless it was someone that is stupid enough to think his legs were some odd ski pants he was wearing, which wouldn't be the first time, he hope not to run into anyone on his way to her.

In the distance, Raph could see her, on the ground, trying to scramble to her feet, her face was showing and there in front of her was two men, both had wooden slides in their hands, one had his raised up into the air, ready to strike Sasha.

Then Raph saw it, mortified in it sight, knowing it was hers, blood…

There was some blood on the ski of the sled, they have already hurt her, growling angrily, he lost it all together, taking his sai's out, letting out a roar that startled the two men, he rushed at them in a heat of rage.

Jumping in the air startled by the approaching figure that was coming towards them quickly, the men's faces went white as a ghost backing up.

Sai in hand Raph attacked the guy that was hurting Sasha, his rage was at its limits, losing all control, Raph thrust his sai into the guy's arm, as terrified screams of pain came out of him.

The other guy too afraid to do a thing, drop his sled running for his life, growling fiercely Raph didn't care for his prey was under him and the man was going to pay for laying a finger on Sasha.

Blood soaked through the man's jacket, Raph's eyes narrowed licking his lips, he enjoyed the terror in the pathetic human's face, as the human tried to process what was going on, as the fear of realizing his own life was going to come to an end, the man screamed pleading Raph to let him go and stop hurting him.

"I'm sorry, I'm SORRRY!" the man wailed, tears ran down his face, with another scream Raph removed his sai only to dig it into the guys other arms.

"AHHHHHH, FUCK, I AM SORRY!"

"SORRY? SORRY? You mother fucker you hurt her, why? What did she do to you? NOTHING yet you hurt her! You're going to pay you piece of shit!" Raph roared as his eyes filled with a lust for blood, this was the relief he has been searching for all night.

This was the moment he was going to put all his frustration, all his anger into, he was going to kill this man and he didn't give a damn.

Both sais in hand, he raised them up into the air to bring them down onto the man's chest, he was going the relish this, to see this trash's eyes that were full of fear lose life as he gives out his last breath.

Thrusting down, in the mist of his madness, a voice shattered through his blood lust.

"NO!" Sasha screamed, grabbing Raph's arms to stop him, if he did this he would only kill himself inside, the guilt later would destroy him.

Feeling her pleads smelling her tears, Raph stopped, eyes widen, he started to tremble.

(What… What am I doing? Oh hell I didn't…)

Looking over to his side, he saw her, Sasha's tear soaked face, her eyes were in complete horror, on what he was going to do.

In the corner of her head he could see the blood from the wound the man gave her earlier, then it became apparent, Raph fell back landing on the snowy ground that was crimson with the man's blood.

The man might have hurt her, but in truth his action, his blood lust was hurting her more, he was supposed to protect her, shield her from harm, yet in the end he was the one that truly harm her in ways he promise never to do to her.

(What have I done…)

"I… Sasha... I…" getting to his feet Raph looked away in shame, what can he say to make it up to her, how could he rewrite his actions?

"I want to go home," Sasha sniffed, looking away, she couldn't stand looking at the man on the ground that was bleeding to death; she didn't want to think about it, she just wanted her warm bed nothing more.

"Yeah, sure…" Raph grabbed his shell cell dialing 911, "Yeah, I need an ambulance at Amber Park, there is a man that looks like he is bleeding to death," Raph informed the woman on duty, then hung up before she asked any more questions.

Wiping the blood off his sai, Raph put them away, walking past Sasha, "He will be fine, we best be going before anyone comes."

Not saying a word Sasha just followed the red clad turtle; neither knew what to say to each other, for both felt at fault for this situation.

(Sasha POV)

The room was covered in partial darkness, for she only had her lamp on her nightstand, on.

Lying there she stared at the walls, it's been a couple days since the incident at the park, she hasn't really talked to Raph since, she feared to say the wrong things, and in truth, how he acted did scare her.

Not that she was really scared of him, no, it was the fact that he lost control and almost destroyed himself because of her, she should have went home, not quench her curiosity, she should have known better.

(That is the million dollar answer, I should have known better for everything…)

Closing her eyes, she tried to hold her tears back, everything inside was falling apart, she didn't know where she stood anymore, she didn't know what to do anymore.

The worse, the one person she trusted more than anything, she couldn't talk to him, for she feared what he would think, what it would make him feel, what if she hurts him, she wasn't dumb, she knew Raph blamed himself for what happened to her.

Slumping down into her bed, she sighed, maybe she should get some sleep, it was late and tomorrow was another day.

Getting comfortable, a knock on her door caught her ears as she looked over towards it in wonder, who would be knocking on her door this late at night?

"… Sasha are you awake?" Raph voice whispered on the other side of the door, he sounded nervous.

"Yeah."

Silence fell as she watched the door, then finally Raph peeked his head in, "May I come in?"

With a nod, he took that as an ok, opening the door wide, he entered her room, closing the door behind him.

He didn't make eye contact with her, shuffling his feet uneasy, "I… I want to apologize for my behavior at the park, and the past couple days… I didn't mean to make you feel like I was ignoring you… I..."

Breathing deeply Sasha tried her best to smile, it wasn't easy, "It's ok Raph, I know you weren't ignoring me…"

(If you were, I don't blame you.)

Biting his lip, Raph took a breath, "Sasha grab your winter gear and meet me in the garage."

Surprised at the sudden change of topic, Sasha looked at him, why would he want her to grab her stuff, and this late at night?

Raph watched her response trying to read her, calming down, pushing his nervous state aside, he presented himself more confidently, "Please just do it ok, I will be in the garage, you don't have to wear any pants unless you want to, but please bring a pair along," he told her leaving the room before she could even attempt to question him.

Alone in the room, she was dumbfounded, what was going on, the way he was acting was weird even for him, realizing the only way she was going to find out what he was up to, she had to comply doing what he asked.

Putting on her winter gear other then her pants, she turned her light off, leaving the room, not before glancing over towards the clock that stated it was 11 o'clock.

Shaking her head, she didn't know what to suspect, as she made her way through the lair towards the elevator that would bring her to the garage, the lair was quite and there wasn't a soul in sight, where was everyone?

Reaching the garage, she found the garage door wide open and one of the cars running, with Raph in the driver's seat sitting back, waiting for her.

She still couldn't see anyone, why was the car on and where was Raph planning to bring her?

Sasha made her way to the car, opening up the passenger's door, peeking her head in, looking at Raph with wondering eyes.

"Come on, don't let all the heat out, get in," Raph told her tapping his finger on the steering wheel.

Getting in she put her seat belt on, but not before throwing her winter gear into the back seat.

Settled, Raph drove out of the garage, looking a bit pleased with himself.

Curiosity taking over her, Sasha had to know, "Where are we going?"

With a devilish smile, Raph beamed, "You'll see."