Analogy of a Vampire Chapter 1: Part I, a tsubasa chronicle fanfic

They'd been changed, until unrecognizable… but at least they still had each other. But something happened – and what if they no longer had even that?

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Warnings: Shonen-ai, meaning boyxboy love. Know that this will include… vampires, death, blood, sexual themes, trauma, and masochism.

A/N: Kurogane, Fai, Sakura, and Li – none of the normal Tsubasa gang are in this. Be aware of that, please. My main motivation to reading Tsubasa is that the characters of X/1999 are thrown in there.

This story is about Subaru Sumeragi, Kamui Shiro, and Seishirou Sakurazuka, as they are in Tsubasa. No one else in Tsubasa is included except them. I may mention Fuuma some where.

This is written in accordance to the information given in tsubasa about Seishirou, Kamui, and Subaru… from chapter 130, about? Note that this story's accuracy may dwindle as clamp develops Subaru, Kamui's and Seishirou's story's more in tsubasa. So later on, you probably can consider this AU, but for now, it's not.

This story will consist of three parts.

This is part one.

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Analogy of a Vampire

By 0ri

PART I - BEGIN

It did not matter.

It didn't matter that they were dead, that they existed only through each other and through death, against what they have once believed in a time that seemed so very long ago…. It did not matter that their purity had been stripped away, stolen, and replaced with macabre and forced sadism, something they couldn't have imagined even in their worst nightmares.

did

not

matter

That they had lost all the people they had loved, their families, their friends… Who had once looked at them with appraising, amorous eyes… that now turned towards them with frozen hatred, disgust, emotions slick as ice, as if they'd never even known them at all.

"Subaru-san and Kamui-kun… they were… 'taken'

"And now we have to kill them. Just like all the rest

We'll split into two teams. They've run from us… But we will find them and we will eliminate them so that our children can sleep at night. They cannot hide for long. As followers of god, we will not let demons ruin our towns, we will not let them live on through murder, well will not let them horrify us or our families, we will be strong--"

"K-Kaa-san, but it's me—"

"YOU'RE NOT MY SON, YOU'RE A MONSTER—"

"-DON'T touch me, you're NOT Subaru-san! You're not! You're a demon!-"

"Blood, blood, so much of it, the only thing I can see anymore is it… I can't see anything else… Oh god… "

"LET HIM GO—"

"Kamui… t-they all… They all died… I-It's… my fault. It's my entire fault… It's my fault…"

"Subaru, no, don't, don't do it, p-please don't d-do it, I need you, please don't die, you're all I have, d-don't leave me—"

It did not matter one single bit, because now they were far away from the places of birth and past, and together, with each other every step of the way… they were at least… they were happy

But some thing happened… some thing went wrong.

And what was once two became one.

"Ohhh…" Kamui moaned into the warmth of Subaru's mouth as their tongues twined and overlapped with each other. He fiddled with a burning urgency at the buttons of Subaru's dark coat, and ran his naked hands down the sides of Subaru's slender waist, feeling the slippery, thick leather texture beneath his hands, while the texture of it shined in the sharp bathroom light. The smooth leather slid along his palms and fingers from his sweat, thick and oddly erotic – though he was seeking what was beneath that clothing, what the heated, pale skin would feel like... He could feel Subaru's chest move from rapid breath as Kamui's hands traveled - wrapping around the sides of the waist to crawl towards the back and dance up to Subaru's neck to the fine, thin strings of his black hair, tangling his fingers in them, pushing Subaru's pale lips and the cavern of his mouth closer. Subaru quivered against him. So sensitive… So beautiful… Kamui could only see Subaru's magnificence behind his wants.

Their tongues spiraled together as if creating a sonata, muscles tasting each other. The two of them were dizzy with arousal, following their instincts and their hidden wants rather than what they knew from experience. Kamui's tongue accidentally touched one of Subaru's sharper teeth, and it cut through the pink flesh like tissue paper, like nothing, and Kamui drew back, panting hard, the glass of the shower stall stiff against his body, and his violet eyes glassy with eroticism.

"Ah--- " Subaru looked as if he was still regaining himself, and Kamui knew if he'd still been alive, a dark red blush would be coveting his face. It seemed like a shame it was only a slight red now… Subaru inhaled, but before he could say another word or get lost in a sea of apologizes, Kamui jerked them back together, latching his arms tightly around the other young man, shoving his tongue deep into his mouth; feeling the tongue, the dangerous proximity of the teeth, the roof of his mouth... Subaru buckled almost in a tremble, but Kamui held up him, steady, feeling Subaru slowly begin to respond again. He turned them around so that Subaru would have his back to the shower door to support him as they continued to kiss deeply, for how long they did not know, never letting go of each other, always holding on…

Last night was the first night they'd ever kissed, let alone… let it escalate to some thing so much greater…

Kamui listened with a reserved silence and content as the shower sizzled, watching the oak door, hoping it would be opened soon… But he shook his head, fiercely, and buried his face into the softness of his lacey, dark pillow, hiding his guilty face.

Already he wanted more.

Perverted, I'm perverted… He told himself, repeatedly, but for some reason the thought delighted him instead of depressing him, and he smirked giddily into the pillow, curling his body and clutching at the sheets, hardly able to handle such happiness without hopping around excitedly like a child at Christmas.

Instead, he propped himself up; still distantly hearing the shower as he hopped off the enormous plushy bed and onto the wooden, white floor, wandering to the sliding glass doors that took up an entire wall; exposing the naked view the of the circular balcony and wilderness of the grey-blue mountain range that lay on the horizon's thin line, with a crystalline ocean at its feet. Down far, far below, along the rocky coast, Kamui could make out the towns surrounding the coast, and even some cities... He smiled joyfully, and spread open the double doors, striding out until he reached the Athenian-like railing, resting his exposed arms along it. He gave a miniscule shiver, but it was more from thrill than from the cooled air, and the coldness of the marble railing against his arms… white marble that matched his skin… And what he'd once been….

No, don't… Don't think about that now. I could never have been this happy, back there. All I need is Subaru… at my side…, and I am as happy as can be… We don't need anything else but each other.

Does he know how much, I wonder…?

Kamui craned down his neck, bending, nuzzling his nose against his arms, his cheeks flushed, lips moistened…

How much I love him…?

Kamui gave a tiny grin, the muscles of his stomach clenching as an emotion beyond his mind rushed through excitedly, like a current of an electrical shock snaking around in his veins.

He said that we can be together… Subaru wouldn't lie, he meant it.

He meant it... I could see it. I could sense it, in the way we kissed, the way he touched me… Kamui's face heated and he licked his drying lips, ducking his head into his forearms further, like a kitten trying to burrow itself in a blanket. So I guess… we're a 'couple' now?

Not just… just friends?

We're lovers?

We are… We're…lovers…

Subaru Sumeragi, beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, kind… Subaru… is. My. lover.

Kamui's face broke out into a full smile, white teeth showing between his soft lips. The electricity in his body exploded into a billion stars, tingling at his skin, forming goose bumps, his body wobbling. He removed his arms from the railing to cross them on his chest and hug himself, attempting to keep his wavering stance from tipping.

Mine and no one else's.

Bursting with… glee… an enormous glee beyond his comprehension, beyond thought... Kamui snapped his hands back around the railing, pushing himself up onto it, inhaling profoundly the salty scent of the sea and the freshness of the mountains in one acute combination as he hollered –

"Do you HEAR THAT, world?!

I'm… happy!!!"

He stretched his arms out like an airplane's, feeling the wind whip through the loose silk of his shirt, over his skin, and he shut his eyes, glorifying in that moment of true joy… A joy he hadn't felt for so long, that was so blinding now, so wonderful, it was bordering pain.

But then Kamui stopped as some thing came around at him, tugging him down from his high and back onto the level of the balcony, rather then the railing. He twisted around and blinked, suddenly directly before Subaru's eyes rather then the mountain range and the ocean and clear sky, while not noticing just yet that the other was half naked and still in a towel. He did notice, however, that Subaru didn't look nearly as happy as Kamui felt. He seemed worried.

"Kamui…, I appreciate that you're happy, but what if you fell from the railing?"

Kamui stopped, trying to reveal in that soaring that had swept him up, a force like gravity that had taken possession of his limbs and truly made him fly…

… And then pouted, glancing behind himself. "…I wouldn't have fallen… Don't scold me." A tiny quirk prickled at the corner of his lips, like an itch, but he held it down, curious to see the other's reaction if he remained serious or seemingly upset.

Subaru sighed, tightening his hold around the towel. "Sorry. I just worry."

Kamui examined his friend… no… lover, up and down, scrutinizing him. Subaru squirmed uncomfortably. "What if your towel had fallen off, huhhuhhuh? Maybe you should worryabout that." Kamui teased, unable to help himself. Though they had seen each other naked plenty of times, from the era of their childhoods up to their teenage years, with none of those due to sexual reasons, and then after their 'rebirths' … Subaru still seemed embarrassed about it. Abruptly he turned away, hiding his darkened cheeks and moved to walk back inside to get some clothes on in a little more privacy.

Kamui smiled as he watched that pale back retreat from him, then the slender arms, traveling up the chain that was the spine, to the back of the head and towards the hair; darkened and thinned with warm water, black as night itself… He swallowed, breathed in once as burning liquid swished around in his stomach, and looked aside to the magnificent view again - only distantly seeing it and acknowledging it. In his mind, he tried to refocus his attention, the ravenous hunger in him that made him want to pounce on his lover right then and now, strip that blasted towel off himself – but - it would be bad if it became noticeable how aroused he was by seeing Subaru's stripped upper body, when he'd seen it plenty of other times before… He didn't want to seem so desperate, so eager, even though he was. Of course, as always, Subaru was the one that held the higher self control – he didn't seem bothered at it by all, or effected by what they'd done only mere hours ago. Well… maybe a touch shy, embarrassed… Kamui snuck a glance at his newfound lover as he pulled on a pair of pants. Kamui then jerked away, shutting his eyes and blushing, but grinning to himself.

"You know the one opera house down in Mekka city? They're having a show tonight…" He called over.

"Ah, really?" Subaru asked from inside, and Kamui, rather painfully forced himself not to look as his partner dressed. Abruptly Subaru's voice filled with joy, as if he hadn't completely registered that sentence the first time. "They're singing… opera then…? Like last time?"He sounded so excited... so happy… It was such a wonderful thing, to hear pure happiness come from Subaru's voice… Kamui straightened, listening to Subaru as he came back to the balcony and, figuring he was dressed, faced him and watched as he drew nearer...

He was marvelously impeccable. Subaru had dressed in a sleek white shirt that had a small collar with black frog buttons trailing down his front, along with a pair of black pants. He'd also put on a dark grey jacket that came down to his lower waist, with large pockets near his hips and tiny black buttons - hues to match his skin and to contrast it. Subaru had a sense of fashion that far surpassed most women.

Kamui nodded, just realizing he hadn't answered, unsure of what the question had been. Subaru beamed.

"That's great! We should go! Do you remember the last time we went, Kamui? That woman who sang at the end was incredible."

Finally remembering, he agreed. "Yeah, she was," Kamui secretly admitted he'd been paying attention more to Subaru then to the opera. But he then caught up with the suggestion more fully. "Ah! Yeah. I bought tickets when I saw them being sold. We're going to get balcony seats again. I knew you would want to go. They weren't as expensive as they should have been, seeing as how the density population is low around here." Kamui added hastily when he saw Subaru's face fall. The vampire shook his head.

"You didn't have to do that, Kamui…"

"I wanted to. Jeeze, can't I get you something without you feeling guilty?" Kamui broke the four foot distance between them, hesitating, before boldly telling himself it was alright to be intimate now and cupped Subaru's face, his heart racing, so quick and so loudly he was sure his lover would hear it. It bolted and bounced in his chest like a basket ball crashing against pavement, up and down again, deep, bellowing thuds that echoed throughout the essence of his body... Subaru's green eyes blinked in surprise, at the touch, the boldness… but then the expression melted away into a loving smile, his eyes soft and sincere as they recolored Kamui's face and the sky emerald green, as lovely and innocent as when a butterfly opens its wings for the wind to take…

Kamui tenaciously stroked Subaru's wet hair – still dripping with droplets of water - and slicked it back behind Subaru's ears so he could appreciate a more direct view of the face. The clover eyes followed his every motion; though at first indecisive, he moved his arms around Kamui, their chests pressing together. The tip of Subaru's nose brushed the side of Kamui's, near tickling him, and Kamui could feel the moist, gentle exhales along his cheek and lips, softer then the breeze, traveling to his jaw…

"You sure… it's okay…?" Subaru whispered, his voice lowered, the sound of it mostly in his breath, in the wisp of the cool air. Kamui nodded, reluctant to break the ethereal silence that held between them, continuing to play with Subaru's dampened, chilled hair, not wanting to remain idle, moving his hands back to the ears, the cheekbones… down to the chin… over to the neck, around it, somehow managing to further decrease the near nonexistence distance between them. Kamui tilted to his head and nipped at Subaru's ear playfully, tugging at the skin with rosy lips, and felt as Subaru's whole body quivered from the onslaught.

"Love you," Kamui murmured into the shell of the pallor ear, "...so much" while allowing for Subaru to feel when his lips parted with each word, each inhale and exhale.

Subaru's hold turned into a hard grip, and he bowed his head, tipping it sideways, lips brushing over the silk that was of Kamui's throat. Kamui felt as a smile curved against his skin, and he couldn't help but smile too. "… you too… Kamui… I love you…."

Kamui thought his staring was painstakingly obvious around the time the third performance graced the stage, which must have been at least two hours later. He checked his watch to make sure and… indeed, it had been about two hours. He shrugged his shoulders, sighing, making sure to keep himself quiet as to not disturb any of the people around them or Subaru himself.

It irked him, that they couldn't be so touchy in public. While it embarrassed Subaru beyond belief, Kamui didn't honestly care about the malice or astonished looks that were tossed in their direction. If anyone tried to make a move on them for doing some thing as innocent as holding hands, well, Kamui could show them just why they were starting to get a reputation throughout the dimensions as the 'two vampire twins'.

His purple eyes narrowed into slits, half of it in fatigue, the other half in muse, eyes shadowed… and… wandered back to Subaru's profile, that feeling of 'butterflies in your stomach' never fading once throughout the performance enough for him to concentrate on the performance. He just never tired of watching him, this angelic creature sitting beside him… They'd called them demons, once they'd been changed, in their own homes… But some times… Kamui had to make sure Subaru had been truly changed. It just didn't fit right. Subaru was too kind to do what had to be done… for not only their survival… for the continuance of their existences. What lay beyond their deaths, Kamui did not know, but he expected it to be painful and torturous. He wasn't eager to die and face that… he feared it… and feared it happening even more for his companion… Something snake-like and slimy darted up his spine from the mere thought.

It also wasn't fair. They hadn't been cruel, in life – to not a single person. They hadn't wanted to be vampires for the power that would surely bestowed on them with it. They just wanted to be normal... and live their lives… like normal people…

But they couldn't have that…

Kamui gazed up at the ceiling, the white column of his throat bending as he made out the murals and paintings of the religious figures of this particular world, paintings so extraordinary they looked as if they'd been created with light, not color nor paint. He squeezed Subaru's hand, even though both their hands were concealed in gloves, and he sensed it when Subaru inclined to him, curious and concerned, pausing, and then squeezed his hand back reassuringly. Kamui could feel every part of himself physically – the weight of his body pressed into the plush of the seat, the wood of the chair he was using to lay his head back against, piercing against his skin – his own fingers in his gloves, interlocked with Subaru's gloved hand, palm gliding against the fabric of his gloves from heated sweat. Kamui confided in Subaru's response and swallowed at the stuffy air, the contagious perfume of the large, blond woman beside them, standing out so much Kamui could sneeze from it, and the expensive cologne of the men as well, all whirled into a cloud hanging in the invisible tapestry of the balcony. The scent of humanity was both wonderfully familiar but also nerve-wracking – a confusing paradox that caused him to tense in his seat. He ignored it…

Instead, Kamui's stupor drove him into deeper memories, into darker times, exploring in the gloomy waters…

He remembered the day that they'd been attacked… or more accurately, he'd been attacked and Subaru attempted at rescuing him… only to result in the same treacherous fate. He remembered the day they walked back to their home, finally escaped, feet sore and cut from sharp pebbles, glass and fallen branches of the dark woods – their clothes had been so bloody they'd looked as if they'd been dipped in red sauce, and it stuck to them uncomfortably, discomfort increasing from the heat of the summer night. Kamui remembered as Subaru staggered and stumbled every few steps against him, doubtlessly having a concussion, as he'd held him steady, praying he'd be alright… while trying to reach a hospital to mend the cut on Subaru's forehead and the gash in his stomach and leg… And of course, their throats marred beyond repair… Only to be turned away upon sight immediately, with torches blazing with fires, guns and knives, yells and screams, until people finally recognized them and let them in, seemingly concerned.

Kamui remembered being relieved, for one single moment, until the marks were found on the nape of their necks… He had not known what that cursed word had meant, 'vampire'… Although they'd been making raids in the towns, not of items, but of women usually, they were so discrete and such an ugly subject that the town had hidden it completely from anyone under the age of twenty. They'd been untainted by that horrid word…

He screamed when the doctor tried to inject a vile poison in him that he'd recognized quickly, with his mother being a doctor… and slapped it out of the nurse's hand who also tried to use it on Subaru, running far away with his dazed friend, the both of them still aching with pains…, but not far enough…, always being chased, running so hard their knees felt as if they were in the precarious of snapping; until their powers developed within the night and the fangs they bore now formed, until their skin morphed into moonlight and their cuts and gashes and wounds, all except for the two punchers on their throats, healed.

Everyone feared them. They'd become the enemies. They were wanted; the town that they'd been loved in and they too had loved… wanted them on stakes, burned alive.

…Everything had flipped upside-down.

Kamui recalled the day that his own mother cast him away for the town's sake… His mother that he cherished more then anyone, would have protected more then anyone… when he'd come seeking shelter, she snapped at him in vulgarism and repulsion, screaming octaves so high his ears had shattered, and would likely never recover from that sound…

He could recall the day easily… That… Subaru's…. entire… family committed suicide. Rather then seeing their 'perfect' son being turned into a creature of death, rather then being forced to take sides with the town's people (if they did not, they too would be regarded as traitors) or their own child… His parents chose death, a purely cowardice decision, over those choices, and took his beloved little sister with them.

Kamui knew Subaru still blamed himself.

He squeezed his lover's hand, tighter, and snuggled up against his shoulder, scrunching around in the burgundy cushions of the seat, feeling their suit jackets make contact and then their shoulders. Subaru looked away from the display of music to observe Kamui, his countenance anxious, half his face delved in shadow, green eyes wavering in apprehension, one looking brighter and glassier than the other in split illumination. Subaru then reached out a pale hand to pet Kamui along his cheek, fingers entering into that pallid light that made him his skin look so milky and striking, while his thumb rolled over Kamui's skin; as if checking his lover was truly there, a tiny, timid smile forming on his face when he did so; or assuring Kamui of something in their own secret treaty… and Kamui smiled, rubbing against that hand, knowing Subaru would blush and be embarrassed but… not really worried so much about that, at the moment…

Kamui did not remember very well when he was attacked. He remembered giving a piteous fight against the creature so much stronger than him; that man with the clothing made of diamond and silk, fabric so expensive Kamui had never even seen it in his life – enchanted, he'd calmed so quickly it had been strange, as if he'd been hypnotized, and Kamui stared and marveled at the garments that shimmered like the scales of a dark Koi fish; his eyes roaming the person before him, his legs unable to move, bolted to the very spot; from the uncanny fear and uncanny desire that produces an agony like a lullaby, the emotions in turmoil and at peace; all for the unrealistically beautiful features and the whitened, near bluish lips. The person had touched his face with a cold hand, and for some reason he had not wanted the stranger's intimacy to stop, his mind blinded by that aching agony, all thought swiped from mind... Kamui did however, remember… feeling desire… true desire, not forced… for the first time, after the encounter, as he awoke on that bed… so much desire it was painful, nearly drove him into what might have been referred to some as "madness".

There was no room, only himself, and the raging emotion – Kamui tore at the bed sheets, shredding and ripping fine cloth like tissue paper, flipped over huge wooden dressers that should have been heavy but were as light as pillows; could see his fingers trembling but did not feel it and found it odd he could not see his reflection in the mirror of the bathroom; which he sundered, angered further by the impatience of his un-sated desires, deeming the mirror useless to solving any of those things. He knew distantly it was desire of sex and desire of something else… of that copper, metallic liquid; colored crimson, an aching hunger that rumbled like a glowering storm in his body.

It was hued red, such a beautiful color the liquid almost seemed like an endless, mystifying ribbon rather then what it was… How he had shrieked out loud for it and slammed his fists to the doors, but they'd been shut in a way he could not open them, as much as he pried and desperately writhed with that craving that sent seizures throughout his very bones to the point where it was bordering pain…

It had been his own fault, that Subaru had been 'changed'. Subaru had no chance of surpassing any of the creatures that had held him captive then. And instead of fearing, or giving in, they looked at the attempt of rescue with a sadistic delight, amused that a human would dare to face them, even for the sake of a cherished friend. They'd dragged him inside, snickering and petting Subaru in less than innocent ways, to the room Kamui had been locked down under, and tossed him in as a meal for their captive.

The memories grew vague around this point. Kamui sighed, rubbing his temples, feeling sweat beneath his fingertips… He'd only came to his senses after he'd put those marks on Subaru's neck, and drank until the questing, bizarre hunger was only a buzz of what it once was… he'd finally relaxed… and registered that Subaru was even there, and his dangerously shallow breathing, his fogged green eyes and the disconcerting laxness of his body, like a doll that had had all their limbs rolled carelessly by a child's hands; in such a way that they did not work right anymore.

He'd also realized… when he saw Subaru's blood, escaping from two small punctures, the red smeared around the nape of his neck as if someone had taken their hand and purposely smudged it – and Subaru's blood on Kamui's own face, to match it, and the mind-numbing, intoxicating scent of that liquid – and then Kamui knew… with horrification… what exactly he'd done.

Kamui didn't have the faintest idea that… while desperately trying to cure Subaru, feeding him that cursed blood and attempting at saving his life… That he was dooming him to his own eternal demise. He was also permanently binding them – Subaru could drink no one else's blood but his. Without him, Subaru would die.

They'd managed to escape together, unable to fathom what had truly happened, the two of them confused and scared, minds and musings scattered like the glass of the bathroom mirror Kamui had broken; sparkling up at him from the creamy floor as blood oozed down his hands, providing him no reflection, no assurance that this body he was in was truly his own and that the musings had to be his own - not some outward sound from beyond, not another voice. It was utterly antagonizing. Kamui blamed what he had done to Subaru on his wounds then, and 'hallucinations', not realizing the mistake he had made.

He knew far better now.

Abruptly Subaru stood next to him, that hand releasing his own; and, no, everyone stood up in the audience of the opera house, clapping loudly and cheering. Subaru wasn't cheering, but he was smiling a small, pleased smile and was clapping – though a lot less roughly than people around him; elegant and composed, tapping his gloved hands together like a silent, attractive chiming; like a bell that is made for its grace rather than its sound.

Kamui blinked and jumped up, realizing then he should too be standing and clapping, but did it a little hastily, still pulling himself from flashbacks. Subaru turned to him, countenance humored at Kamui's ruffled state, and Kamui's heart skipped a beat, but he then grinned snidely at his partner, countering him. Subaru's smiled widely enough for it to be considered a smirk, challenging Kamui and taking him by surprise; but it was too innocent and was lacking maliciousness, and his eyes were bright as gems, not at all the eyes of some one sinister and spiteful enough to pull off a smirk. Kamui ended up finding it cute, and then wondered if it should be a sin for someone to be so cute. His snicker soon turned into a laugh, Subaru's lighthearted chuckle joined his; until the two of them were laughing outright for hardly any reason and not caring, delighting in the pointlessness of it. People began exiting the balcony through the back, the two of them earning more than a few curious glances, which swiftly shifted, everyone only wanting to get back home and settle down after the elongated performance.

Kamui struggled with the champagne bottle, after what might have been the 50th time. He could have, of course, used a little 'magic' to help him. But if he did Subaru would sense it (the use of magic, that was, especially since there was no magic in this country), and it would wake him up from his sleep, rousing him out and drawing him away from the room in his exhausted and dazed state. Kamui didn't want that. Subaru was tired from the elongated day, and from the feeding.

Kamui silenced a growl of frustration and twisted and pried at the cork, but it would not budge, his efforts ridiculously futile. How such a miniscule thing could irritate him so much, he did not know. Taking a break from his hard labor, Kamui tapped his chin, eyes narrowing as he calculated his glass enemy; resting tall and arrogantly proud on the table. The bottle design was lovely – his main reason for purchasing it – the bottom of it was traditional, much like the ones he had known in his old world – however approaching the top it spiraled and swiveled into a distinctive shape, into a slim curvature tube. Not only that, but there were birds painted across the company logo, around the name in sharp, stylish characters. People in this world were terribly artistic – being artistic was a normalcy here. It was, in Kamui's opinion, the best trait of the nation.

Kamui also enjoyed the types of clothing designs they held here… It was rare to find things made in cotton. Everything was silk and animals fur; animals that were unique to this place, and this place solely. Hair so fine it felt like needles of silk... Hues varied from soft to muddy, and then to the subtle whites, blacks and grays that Subaru preferred. Birds were almost always the crest of a company or clothing – birds were worshipped by the people and were considered sacred and holy.

As for the home they were living in: it was a place Subaru and he both treasured dearly. Most houses stood tall and proud, Athenian-like, decorated in pale flowers and surrounded by yellow fields of a plantation Kamui did not recognize, and had never seen in his life. The front door of their house faced a small field, just 30 feet or so, then yonder of that was the ocean, far below the bumpy cliffs – and the left and back side of the house also faced the ocean, the mountains towering and powerful in the distance; while the right side of the home was to their endless field that disappeared along the horizon to form into the blue rocks of the mountains, their tops tipped in snow, the wind fresh and chilly, purified, due to never being touched by pollution. Seeing the sunset had become Subaru's and Kamui's favorite pastime since they'd come to live here – watching the reds of the sky bathing the golden grass of the field, air flickering through the meadow, the tips of plantation glowing in reds and oranges… and when the illumination hit the ocean, that crystalline, clear water; that liquid shined a rich red profoundly in the heart of the rocking wave, as if the walls from inside had been lit afire; colored of the ripened peaches Kamui had once eaten in his childhood; all the while as the waves rolled across the surface, hitting the shore and then coiling back with a meander sigh, as if in drowsiness, only to come back and stroke the surfacing sand again.

It was paradise to them.

Kamui shook his head, getting his mind back to things, folding his legs on the floor… The floors were awfully comfortable when they were not made of white wood or stone, just carpet… He snatched the sake off the short table and attacked at it, pulling at the cork, gritting his teeth, frowning in distaste. Stupid bottle… I'll never get this opened without waking Subaru. …Maybe I should just wait.

Suddenly, as he was tugging at the cork, he pulled a bit too roughly, and it slipped from the grasp of his other hand. Kamui released it instinctively, and glass clattered against the solid stone of the table – thank goodness it didn't break – then rolled away as it hit the floor, bumping into his knee, practically mocking him for his clumsiness. Kamui winced, lowering his shoulders as if in shame.

... there's no way he didn't hear that…

He waited for Subaru to come out, heart beating as if it were in his throat, his blood pulsing in his ears. He twisted the cloth of his shirt and held the bottle close, hugging it like his only friend. Kamui's cheeks were aflame with embarrassment and… anticipation… his tongue curling in his mouth, fingers knotting…

His nerves felt as if they were being prickled with thorns when he heard the gentle tapping of Subaru's slippers against the metal staircase as his lover descended, heard him yawning, and gulped – dimly wondering why – his heart was racing – in those profound spasms, like a bird attempting escape in his chest. Kamui watched as the long legs came into view from the whirling steps, as Subaru turned, knees visible, then waist, chest, and his face… His hair was tousled, his head hung and his expression of fatigue, as he came to the staircase ending, sleepily glancing up at Kamui, eyes half opened and glistening with moisture, something about his countenance wonderfully expressive in a way that was practically intimate and… warm. Subaru smiled shyly, and Kamui's body froze as he moved closer lithely, slippers scrapping against the carpeting and patting down, while rubbing one of his eyes with a balled fist, still smiling in such an innocent way that it arose an odd feeling of nostalgia in Kamui's body – he felt his cheeks heat with a blush he was for once thankful wouldn't show.

Am I always going to feel like this, every time...? Like my heart is going to fall into my stomach?

Kamui inhaled…; in, out, once, twice, thrice…

In these emotions when there's nothing but the two of us here… Where time and silence creases… Where the world dissipates…

Subaru…

Do you feel it, too?

Kamui swallowed as Subaru paused, staring at him, silence stretching like rubber, mauve and emerald meeting, countering each other. Subaru's cheeks were tinted pink… His tongue flicked out, to lick his lips, and he straightened, the space between them becoming smaller and smaller, until Subaru was hovering over Kamui…

The vampire knelt down, leisurely, taking the bottle carefully from Kamui's hands, and examined it for a single second of inquisitiveness before placing it on the table. He looked up at Kamui, asking a question with no words…

Kamui sighed, shaking his head, the ethereal emotion finally fading into nothing but a memory as he was drawn back into the trivial notions of conversation. "Sorry… I woke you up."

Subaru gave the sake a sideways glance, and then rubbed the back of his neck, inhaling deep. "s'kay… "

"Did you sleep well?" Kamui attempted, hoping that Subaru hadn't been given his usual dose of nightmares, as he scooted a little closer, laying his head on his partner's chest, feeling it rise and fall from breath. Subaru's arms came around him, fingers fluttering up and down his spine in a massaging caress. Kamui closed his eyes, nuzzling into the warmed shirt fabric.

"Yeah… no dreams, no nightmares."

"That's good…"

Kamui could feel it when Subaru held his breath, as he contemplated questioning… "Do you want to come up? Aren't you tired too?"

"Hmm… that might be nice…."

There was a tiny speck of amusement in Subaru's voice, sparkling. "That a yes?"

"That's a yes."

Kamui pulled at the contraption, shaking it as if it were a present full of things he did not know of, which it technically was, in more then one way, and then settled down, repositioning it on the table. He was a bit hungry; he mused as he tapped his fingers along the finely cut stone - but it could wait. He was attempting to listen to the news. Kamui and Subaru had not figured out how to work the mechanics of a 'phone' and order the paper to get delivered to them, rather then trying to understand the boxy machine, or even rather than taking the ample walk down the cliff side to get to the towns and cities – which was rather nice, sometimes, seeing the ocean rocking in the distance as the cool sun beat on their backs and the gust whipped through their hair; the two of them quibbling on mundane things, both of them made drunk by the others presence…

Kamui groaned and buried his face in his arms, kicking himself for constantly getting overtly infatuated with Subaru as the 'fuzz' sound reverberated outward, hissing at him, as if the machine wanted to be fixed properly, or as if it was making fun of him for possibly making it worse. Kamui sensed it as Subaru came from the kitchen and picked up the annoying thing, tapping it. Kamui shook his head, eyes traveling up as his lover turned it on its side in his hands, and then upside down, wondering if that was the problem.

"Maybe we should take it to a shop and get it fixed?" Kamui suggested pitifully.

Subaru tilted the thing upside down once again, squinting his eyes and reading, then asking, "It's called a 'radio' … the news is supposed to come out of it, right?"

Kamui nodded, and brought his legs up onto the couch, draping himself over the armrest as if to show his mental exasperation in physical form; as he propped on one palm, his hand and cheek pressing together – making half his face seem a bit smothered.

Subaru's eyes thinned in focus at the machine as he turned it in different angles, and poked it in various ways, tapping it in different areas. "I wonder how it works...? If it does work at all."

"It works, I saw at the shop. The man there had the same one… I think it just hates us."

Subaru nodded in solemn agreement, and then took a seat besides Kamui on the sofa, bending forward to get a better look at their stubborn 'radio'. Subaru twirled a few knobs along it, hoping that would help – the fuzz increased, decreased – but other then that there was no change – "ah!" Subaru said, surprised when not fuzz but a woman's voice expelled from the speakers. Eyes alight with excitement, he exclaimed to Kamui, "I think I fixed it!"

Kamui was already peering closer to the machine, the two of them scrutinizing it in astonishment and detached curiosity, observing it as a scientist might a dissection. Kamui then sat up, crossing his arms as Subaru placed it –extraordinarily carefully- on the table. "Maybe it just hates me…?" He wondered out loud miserably.

"Nonsense. It's just a box, Kamui."

Kamui pouted, and then his expression of sourness faded into further confusion. "How do all those people fit in it?" He inquired, pointing to it and staring at Subaru as his green eyed lover turned to him. Subaru shrugged.

"…Maybe they shrink them?"

Kamui crunched up his body to lean his chin against his right knee. "Maybe…" He sighed, waving his hand, "I asked the man when I got it… and he looked at me as if I was defected or something, and then he seemed angered, and asked if I was mocking him or some other drivel…"

"Maybe one of his relatives were shrunk and put into it…?" Subaru replied, hesitating, obviously not liking the idea either. "…Against his will?"

"…But… they can un-shrink them… can't they?" Kamui questioned, horrified, voice lowering down into a murmur as fear flooded his tone.

Subaru nodded quickly, reasoning, "They have to. No one would want to be locked in that thing forever."

"Yeah, that makes sense… Thank goodness."

A man's booming voice blew their thoughts away, tugging their attention back to the machinery. Kamui and Subaru both listened intently as he announced things such as the weather – some upcoming invention scientists were working on – before Kamui broke off, whispering,

"I hope I didn't hurt anyone when I shook it…"

Subaru's arm came around Kamui's shoulders. "Don't worry, that guy sounds pretty happy."

Kamui relaxed with relief, and nestled up against the warmth of Subaru's body.

Mmm, this is nice… He nuzzled his cheek to Subaru's chest, paying keen attention to the soft taps of the heart inside the body.

"… As for political news from Joey – "The voice of the woman was then replaced with something deeper and less much less frivolous.

"-Thanks, Lin. Recently the emperor of Kina has announced war on Kashi – the Senate is hectic right now on how to respond, though Mr. Trinston gave the brief comment that 'There has been no attacks, only extravagant threats – however we worry with the power of the Kina people - Rumors have already begun of drafting, though there has not been a discussion of drafting among the Senate, we are still hoping to resolve this conflict in a peaceful manner…' "

Both Kamui stared at the radio tensely, and Kamui scooted closer to Subaru, seeking out his lover's hand and holding it, their fingers twining together.

"… You think we should leave here, Subaru?"

He asked the question with deep hesitation. They'd been staying in this country for at least three years now, and it was everything to them. But... the threat of being drafted… and their powers being discovered to the public's eyes… was it worth the risk? Was it worth… the chance of… being abused as they had been in their own homes, in a time that seemed so long ago? The country was small, only containing a population of around 400,000, perhaps even less then that. The percentage of being drafted was large, if the country's Senate did decide on that course of action, they would not have time to escape once being chosen, to gather their things and escape…

"I don't want to leave…" Subaru mumbled, hugging Kamui's small body, who was all too eager to get nearer to his lover. Kamui bit his lip, staring at the radio as it switched once more from the political conflicts to the calm, melodramatic music of the country; a man's voice bellowing in soft, shadowed octaves, hanging in the tapestry of anxiety, and in the nostalgia of loneness, scattering over their senses like the crumbled leaves of autumn; in the gentle, weaving sigh of the gust.

' I …want… to hold …you…. '

And the two lovers clung to each other, neither wishing to let go.

From that day forth, Kamui and Subaru gathered up enough of their money, got a hold on a few helpful books, and tried their best to understand the phone with their aid – which, much to their delight, wasn't as difficult as they'd first perceived. Kamui's theory of people being connected to the phone line and running down to send the message to the caller had been flawed (thankfully). They both still did not understand the miracle of 'electricity', and when searching for it within the phone's help book, found nothing on the matter. It seemed the people of the country were not sure how it worked, either. Well, none of that was anything to be concerned about, as long as the machine worked, as dubious as the two lovers were on the mechanism, they were not about to investigate it. It was an easy task to go down to the local newspaper station and sign up with some money along with giving their address and phone number to get the newspaper delivered, just as they'd been directed over the phone.

Kamui and Subaru both skimmed the paper as thoroughly as possible each day for any further information on the war.

It was a good thing for the translator Yuuko had given them, had they'd not had it from the beginning, they would have been lost by now. It was a little square; plain brown, about the size of a miniature pencil sharpener, boxy, with no markings on it or indication to what it was – Kamui and Subaru took a great deal care of it, afraid for its possible fragility, and what it would cost to have it replaced.

And thus days turned into weeks, and weeks soon into the second month after the announcement they'd heard… They government of Kashi had begun to draft, within the second week of that month.

It was a big, bold headline, thick and heavy as it drove into the reader's mind; like breathing gasoline. Kamui stared at the paper, fingers clenched, jaw wrenched roughly in place as he sat rigidly; his eyes scanned the black ink hurriedly that had created the terrible, ominous article. He brushed the tips of his fingers against the crinkles of the scrawling, dry parchment, his throat constricted, stomach sucked in, his heart hammering, waist feeling cold. Why did this have to happen…!? They'd found the perfect place to be together, to be with each other, to love one another and not be bothered for how every long they may have lived – a place to be happy, a place to call home… and it had to be rebuked by something as foolish as war…

Kamui murmured a tiny wail of agony, and then jerked his head in admonishment of his own dismal state, his fists fumbling against his eyes in an attempt to swipe off his premature tears as he swallowed, something hot seeming to tickle the inner walls of his esophagus and going down, profoundly, contacting with the bottom of his stomach, sizzling... I have to tell Subaru…

Miserably Kamui tucked the paper beneath his arm and walked across the kitchen, to the staircase, debating with himself if he should just hide the ordeal from Subaru or tell him. Of course he would tell him; but the option of not telling almost gave Kamui comfort while he listened distantly to the sound of his socked feet contacting the icy metal of the steps that spiraled up; tenors of sound to his ears, like the foreboding silence of an execution. It was a disconcerting thought, and Kamui's body grew agonizingly cold with dripping fear.

Why do I…

He stopped as he stared up at the square door in the ceiling, pushing it up with his hand despite his hectic emotions.

I feel like something bad is going to happen…

For some reason his mind created a sharp image of Subaru, thick steams of blood creeping down to his pale lips and over his chin from his nostrils, head tilted sideways, eyes closed, his face looking thin and sickly, marked up with the purple flowers that were bruises, his shirt torn open, the buttons scattered around him…

Kamui practically jumped off the step and onto the hallway floor, rushing down the short corridor that led to the single door. Without thinking he threw that door open, and it banged against the wall in a scream and swung, too much like the sound of a person moaning, as it revealed the room entirely.

Subaru, who'd been reading on the bed, jumped at the sound, his green eyes widening for an instant from surprise. He calmed quickly when seeing it was Kamui, though his expression changed to confused and anxious.

Kamui calmed instantly at the sight of his lover; looking just as fine as he had the previous day, no bruises or anything of that sort on his face. He abruptly felt very foolish. Of course Subaru was alright! Why would he think otherwise?

"…Kamui?" Subaru's timid, worrisome voice only increased the guilt.

"A-Ah… sorry…"

"Is something wrong?"

Time suspended, and Kamui sucked in a gulp of oxygen as he stared at his lover's familiar features. He'd always been bad at lying, and it was practically impossible if it were to Subaru…

Instead of speaking, he held out the paper, looking aside. His sharp hearing easily picked up the ruffling sound of the sheets and then the footsteps approaching. Subaru slid the paper from Kamui's grasp, and Kamui looked back at his lover worriedly, staring, anticipating his reaction.

Subaru's eyes narrowed, the green of his eyes dimming, face looking pained as he skimmed the words. His response was quiet, filled with melancholy,

"…. Guess we're going to have to leave here…"

Upset to see Subaru looking so glum, Kamui tried to perk up his spirits. "We'll be together still. It won't be so hard, Subaru. I'm with you every step of the way." He reassured him, despite his own dampened feelings, and the cloudy, cold nervousness in his body. Kamui did not know why he felt so afraid, but he brushed it off as insignificant, hoping Subaru wouldn't notice.

Subaru turned and placed the paper on one of the many pieces of furniture, leaving it there to gather dust. Kamui words seemed to work, at least just a little – Subaru showed him one of his many smiles, but it was half faked, and Kamui could easily tell – but it was better then nothing at all, and the younger vampire appreciated it greatly.

The room was dimming as the twilight came, and Subaru flicked his attention to the balcony, watching; his posture stiff and almost sincere, mimicking a sculpture or statue in all his silent elegance. No matter how many times Kamui tried to get used to Subaru's beauty, he just couldn't, and he found himself re-memorizing every detail of his lover, scrutinizing him as he remained oblivious, watching how the various hues of reds, oranges and violets glowed over the pale skin like a thin sheet of water.

No, it wouldn't be difficult, Kamui told himself, and eased slightly. He had his lover, and that was all that really mattered.

"…Watch the sunset with me?" Subaru whispered quietly.

Kamui smiled gently, and walked until he reached his lover's side, Subaru wrapping his arm around the other's waist, closing the space between them. Subaru nuzzled Kamui's cheek in a surprisingly bold manner, making Kamui's heart jitter in an unworldly happiness, and then Kamui wrapped his arm around Subaru's shoulder amorously, stood up and pressed the rose petals of his lips to Subaru's cheek.

"I think that's everything." Kamui concluded with nod. He then frowned. "Everything we're going to need, anyway."

"Who knew those rocks in our pockets would be worth something?" Subaru thought offhandedly as he sat on the bed, besides Kamui. They playfully swung their feet in time with each other, the two of them smiling in secret each time their skin made contact. It was their own private game.

"Yeah. I always thought they were just shiny… Who knew they were going to get us this huge house? Ah well, we have some more, maybe they'll be worth something in the next world… What did this place call them again –" he stopped when his foot touched Subaru's, smirking and pushing at him playfully, making Subaru slide away from him. In defiance Subaru reproached and bumped his leg against Kamui's.

"Diamonds, I think?" Subaru mused and brushed his toes against the top of Kamui's feet. Kamui squeaked. That tickled! Subaru broke off laughing before his breath was swallowed in the instant when Kamui swiveled and pounced on him in vengeance, running his hands down his sensitive sides, making his lover squirm like a fish as Subaru gasped and laughed – "K-Kamui!!" his voice broke off with another pant as he twisted desperately, laughing, his cheeks tinted red from the obvious adrenalin rush, his hair frayed out on the navy sheets, some strands falling in front of his face.

Kamui could have gone on tickling Subaru and not tire for hours, but he feared Subaru wouldn't be able to take another two minutes of it, so he stopped, watching his lover pant and tremble in the aftermath of extreme sensation. Kamui grinned smudgy, crossing his arms.

Subaru stared up at him, his body worming around piteously. "Kamui… I'm going to throw you off…" He warned, but his sentence ended in a half-chortle.

Kamui pouted. "This is comfortable." He sat more firmly on Subaru's stomach to prove his point.

Subaru rolled his eyes and threw his head back, exasperated. Kamui gave an open mouth smile, feeling victorious.

"Good thing you weigh about five pounds." Subaru commented.

Kamui raised an eyebrow. "Look who's talking!" He accused, poking Subaru's flat chest, feeling the bones beneath the flesh. "When we were alive, you weighed less then me. And you're taller-"

"-only by one or two inches," Subaru interrupted. Kamui flailed, snapping,

"Don't accuse me of being thin when you're a stick."

"… A stick?"

"Yes, Subaru, you are a stick."

Subaru seemed to deeply contemplate this, looking dark and somehow bordering anger. Suddenly worried he had said the wrong thing, Kamui opened his mouth to ask what he'd done or apologize, but in a split second Subaru had flipped them over again and now Kamui was on his back, with Subaru on top. The green eyed vampire smiled carelessly and slid off Kamui's body, stretching when he touched the floor and wandering over to the small plastic bags they'd managed to stuff some clothing into. Kamui sighed as he watched Subaru kneel and go through the bags, exploring them curiously, the plastic ruffling with each touch.

"…That was a dirty trick. You worried me for a second."

"You'll survive."

"Who knew you were capable of such deception?"

"I've been capable of deception all along, I've just been deceiving you, in which, makes me even more deceptive."

Kamui covered his giggle with a hand. Subaru, you're so cute, I want to maul you. You're so cheerful today, and your smile lights up your whole face… Kamui sighed dreamily, watching Subaru shuffle around through the bags…

"Do you want me to carry them?" Kamui asked, hesitating, the silent thought of switching worlds seeming to stain his previously optimistic tone, like sickness spreading over his skin. They'd decided to take their most expensive clothing. Surely they would be worth something in whatever country they landed in, they'd both reasoned.

"No, it's alright. You have the translator?"

Kamui's face faltered as that painfully nervous feeling arose in him again… he took deep, calming breathes. "…Yeah, in my pocket," he answered after a moment's silence. Subaru turned halfway to look at him, his green gaze mimicking Kamui's fuddled feelings, before he turned away and picked up the two small bags, moving towards Kamui. He placed the bags on the bed, quiet and grave, and sat down beside him, folding his hands placing them on his lap.

They'd both changed into their old clothing from when they'd first left home; and it felt absolutely surreal, white-hot frightening, like the entire three years they'd spent together had vanished completely from sight. Suddenly they were two teenagers again, really teenagers in proper age rather than in appearance, and they were scared beyond reason, scared and unknowing of their situation, on what they were becoming and were still lingering in the suspended moment where they were still stunned and everything that had transpired had yet to really sink in.

Something wrapped around Kamui's hand. He blinked, eyes wandering to see Subaru's hand clutching his, and he smiled…

"… Ready to go?"

Kamui nestled against Subaru, closing his eyes. "Yeah..."

"Don't want to look back at anything?" Subaru murmured, his thumb stroking Kamui's hand, his voice sounding weary somehow.

Kamui looked straight into that green gaze, the violets of his eyes glistening. "If I do, I won't be able to leave…"

And thus there was darkness - a profound, enveloping darkness that held no volume, no end, and stretched on in the vastness of eternity. Blue and red lights glittered like small fireflies, their only flashlights to see anything at all beyond the infinity of shadow.

It was cold.

Kamui squeezed Subaru's hand, touching without sight, and Subaru squeezed back in reply. They were dangling in what seemed to be midair – their feet touched no bottom, as if they were floating amongst clouds, among space and time itself, suspended in the tapestry of the universe.

Kamui felt it when Subaru abruptly shuttered against him, and suddenly, many things happened at once, too fast for comprehension. Subaru was jerked from him. Kamui gasped sharply, his hand immediately fleeing in that blackness in search for the grasp again, trying to push himself towards Subaru again as his hand desperately flailed, and he distantly heard Subaru wheeze and cough, though it was growing fainter, and he could sense the space between them enlarging within seconds as he twisted in the blackness, heart pounding erratically, and he screamed "SUBARU!" begging for an answer, his mind feeling like it had been electrocuted, his thoughts so muddled and blaring in intense fright. He blinked, eyes wide, vision swallowed again in the blackness, as he tried to find the form of a body, a figure, of anything, and was screaming Subaru's name, again and again, to no avail each time, when something tugged at him and whiteness blinded his vision, and Kamui was thrown into oblivion.

When Kamui awoke once again he was fatigued. There was snuggly warmth surrounding him, and he burrowed into it, content, and half-wondering to himself if Subaru had woken up yet. He yawned sleepily… Better get –

His thought didn't finish as it severed with his memory. They'd been switching worlds and – Subaru – oh god – Kamui bolted upward, panting, eyes widening in immediate search for his companion. A block of ice seemed to grow in his chest when he didn't see Subaru lying beside him, and it seeped to the corners of his body, to his fingers, until it finally touched his face and by then he was shaking, mind numbed in shock, and he could dimly feel something wet leak onto his cheeks and drip down onto his own clothing. It took a long time for him to recognize the odd sounds as his own crying.

Then there was a sound, a scraping of metal and a soft thud, and Kamui jerked upward and threw himself to the opposite wall, fingers clenched, knuckles whitened, eyes fierce and posture like a cornered, wild animal. He was trembling like he'd been out lying in the snow for hours upon hours.

Nothing but a pleasant face poked in from in the doorway. The eyes widened, and a man stepped in, rushing over. Kamui nearly snarled and bore his fangs to rip out the person's throat, but he controlled himself, instead sinking away to the corner, not wanting to be touched and he was scared, so scared Subaru was hurt or lost or afraid or dead right now… He crumpled in the corner, curling in on himself, swallowing gasps in-between sobs that seemed to rattle him from the core.

"O-Oh…" The person who'd rushed over murmured uneasily. Kamui tightened his grip around his legs and bent further in on himself, sobbing, not wanting to hear anything other than Subaru's voice at that moment. Yet the person continued. "A-Ah – I'm… really not good at comforting… k-kid… um… I found you out lying in the middle of the street… so I took you home and – " Kamui was still crying, and the man could see his back shaking, the small fingers digging into the legs like spiders. He winced. "… I made some food. I'm s-sure you hungry… Could you tell me your name, at least…?"

Kamui offered neither reply nor a sign of replying. Instead he gripped himself tighter, looking even more tense and pensive and just… fraught… It was a horrible sight…

"I-I'll leave you alone for a bit, 'kay?" The man said and soon he was gone, the door shut, allowing Kamui privacy. Kamui looked up, slowly, his eyes itchy and irritated, mouth dry, and too worried about Subaru to feel grateful for the stranger's kindness.

Kamui sniffled his tears and whipped at his eyes, feeling somewhat ashamed but more anxious as he stood up, near stumbling as he made his way back to the futon, his knees feeling stiff and numb. Miserably he sat down, tugging the thick quilt towards himself and hugging it to his chest.

He tried calming himself.

It worked.

Slowly.

The knowledge he was alone in the room was soothing him into a more temperate state, enough so he could concentrate on what had happened. He'd remembered it easily enough…

Okay, okay… crying won't get me anywhere… I need to calm down and… I need to think rationally… I n-need – He gasped again in a near-sob then shook his head frantically, bending his knees and putting his forehead to one of them, eyes shut tightly, face looking sour.

Just. Concentrate. What happened?

He recalled the blackness they'd always encountered when switching worlds. He remembered not being able to see anything; but the touch of Subaru's hand was comforting, warmer than the icy chill of where they'd been. But then…

It's as if something pulled him from me. He was coughing. Maybe he just let me go in reaction to cover his face? That's certainly possible.

Maybe it was something else, though. Okay…

Kamui inhaled leisurely, exhaled even more leisurely. His forearms trembled.

Now what? I'm here. But he isn't… is he?

No, it's possible we're in the same country.

He has to be here.

Feeling comforted and confident for a moment, though not enough to be relieved, Kamui paused, and gathered in his strength, focusing. He felt the presence of Subaru in his blood as he always had, as indented into him as a scar, and, with eyes closed, he searched for that presence, that scent of a vampire and spirit, spreading his magic out like a river's flood, insistent and prying. 100 mile radius and he could still not sense him. 200,000 mile radius and he could still not sense him. He focused more roughly, fixating himself, leaking his magic out into a 1,000,000 mile radius. It was not so difficult to examine the entire planet for Subaru's presence within a few seconds.

He wasn't here.

But he was alive.

Kamui broke off the power and fell sideways, hugging his knees harshly, with enough force to cause a normal person pain.

He's in another dimension….

Kamui began crying small, broken tears that fell from his face like little glittering beads, making his face feel wet and cold. He felt numb in a way he hadn't felt since his mother had disowned him. In a way he hadn't felt since Subaru had tried to commit suicide and had come dangerously close to succeeding… He couldn't feel his hands, his legs, or the way he was crushing himself. The only thing he could feel was that searing in his chest that was so much like his heart splitting open…

How long… How long would it take.…

His tears never creased to fall.

…for him to starve? How long….

The little color he had in his face was draining away as he whimpered…

Two days…?

Three days?

Four days?

Kamui let out a crippled whine and held his head in his hands, as if to pull the horrible thoughts out. His hands clutched the unruly strands in strong fingers, enough to feel his scalp tear and burn in complaint.

Oh god… Subaru… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…

Green eyes glanced around desperately, aimlessly and frenzied while soaking in the soiled, rancid atmosphere of bleak off whites and gray snowmelt; much grayer then it should have been, no doubt the cause of immense pollution and too many filthy shoes wandering in the cold. Snow and water sloshed around his shoes and soaked right through, seeping into his socks, making him tremble in the icy breeze as the winter cold drew its chilled arms up his legs and gripped him, as if to suck the warmth out of him; made him impossible numb - his knees were clattering as much as his teeth were. He had no jacket; the clothes in the plastic bags were silk and all short-sleeved, and would do nothing at all to help him obtain warmth. The subtle hairs on Subaru's forearms had risen along with goose bumps.

But what was more frightening was that he was alone in this place, and he knew it, the moment he had idiotically released Kamui's hand. They were in different dimensions. Subaru didn't understand the writing on the buildings and on the large plaster and wooden signs; the odd, jumbled characters that appeared to him as slackened lines crashing into each other in the same manner dominos do; notifying him in the most appalling manner that Kamui had the translator and increasing the near crushing madness that was filling his mind, in the vice-like intensity one holds before screaming.

Subaru knew, because of the translator he wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone who might have the ability to help.

The buildings were strange, also. They were a little like the ones in Kashi. But they were… too enormous… too monstrous… too dark, too bleak… As if he were a child among intoxicated adults, creating that same effect of insecurity, of fear, while not really knowing what it was he feared, not understanding well enough to create an opinion… The buildings all appeared to be on the verge of toppling. There were also too many of them and each of them was too similar, all except for those lines scrawled on the enormous signs and the occasional different pictures. The streets all looked the same, smoothly paved, and people sped by in machinery Subaru could have compared to the cars in Kashi. They roared loudly as they passed, expelling a thick, cloud of gas that made Subaru cough.

The people dressed in similar attire. Everyone Subaru passed was drenched in dark clothing that shielded them from the gusts and from the stench of the air. Children even had their faces covered, and obeyed whoever held their hand like a heavily abused dog, silently passing without the usual curiosity a child held, or the playfulness and joviality, not even turning their head to observe their surrounding. Occasionally through the wind Subaru could hear other pedestrians coughing; roughly, near choking coughs. When they glanced at Subaru their eyes were cruel and held a restrained anger, but they walked along without a word towards him, making him wonder if he'd even seen it.

The vampire was walking in circles, returning to the same intersection on the road, praying for a miracle, and on the verge of crying as he shivered helplessly in the cold.

Kamui…

I'm such an idiot… this is my own fault… I just hope to god you're safe.

He ducked into an opening between two buildings, hiding from the faces of society, rubbing his hands together as his body shook harshly, his lips beginning to tint violet blue and looking dry. His cheeks felt like ice had been pressed to them for hours, as did his barren arms and hands, and his shoes were starting to feel like an artic sea was laden in them. Subaru leant against the brick wall, barely feeling it scratch him through the silk cloth of the shirt, he was so cold. He rubbed his arms with his freezing hands, trying to keep warm, or at least warm enough. It had to be at least negative 10 degrees for the coldness to effect his supernatural body this much.

He found he could not even think properly as his body rattled like a leaf in the wind, sending tremors throughout his mind, lashing him in faint whips. He wished he could have asked for someone's help, anyone's help…

There was something wrong with this place. The people were so unfriendly. He'd been lying on the sidewalk, and not a single pedestrian had stopped walking to awaken him. He couldn't have been lying there for more then a few minutes... but… how could someone pass a body on the road with such apathy?

Subaru choked, coughing, hearing himself, half-wondering if it was himself. A million things were playing in his mind in sequence. His surroundings fuddled his thoughts together like an incomprehensible mixture. The two most evident thoughts were – the impending of his own death, without Kamui's blood he would starve – and Kamui's own safety, and what was going on through his lover's mind.

Subaru's body ached from numbness, and he slackened against the wall, eyes dim and glassy with tears, trying to image Kamui's smiling face in his mind, smiling so brightly, only for him.

If I die… Kamui…

You were so good to me…

At least if I die I die with no regrets. You were so kind and wonderful…

..I love you…

Had someone else said that? Or… He'd said the last line out loud. ..He didn't know why…

Common…. I need to…

t…o…

get up…

Subaru urged himself defiantly, rebelling against his body's rejection, and his fears of those cloaked faces, of the buildings and of the loneness…

There's still a chance…

…i…sn't… there?

My god… it's so cold…

Subaru attempted to swallow, but found he couldn't. Instead, he exhaled smoky clouds, and choked on the poison wind that leaked with the stench of lethal smog. His legs were stiff, rooted to the pavement, and his feet felt like they'd frozen into bulky blocks.

No. Ther…e… There is a chance…

Kamui has the ability to find me. I… have to… believe in him.

His body was no less stiff and chilled, but a sudden inspiration made Subaru shift away from the wall, and he held himself up with the wall as he slid out onto the streets, dim even in the morning, his body crouching , the strap of the bag dangling as it swung around the junction of his elbow. He felt as if he was walking with hardening cement on his body.

Subaru's fingers trembled as he stumbled into what was obviously a bar, indicated by the dimmed lights and the alignment of the countertops and tables. It was warmer, but still cold, and it was – absolutely flooded – with people, to the brim, like their wine glasses and their aluminum cans with their beer, crowded to the point it was a miracle he could see the countertops or the tables at all. The place smelled of cigar smoke, almost as toxic as the cigars his father smoked; but an overflow of it, at such a strong concentration it made Subaru wheeze instantly as it thickly snaked up his nostrils. Not only that – with Subaru's enhanced sense of smell, he could smell – sickness – the rotting fumes of staling vomit, of salvia exerted from hoarse coughing, choking. And… blood…

Uneasily he pushed through the swarm of bodies. People barked at him in harsh words, and he could not decipher them beyond anything except sounding sharp and piercing, fearing the loathsome tones, and hating the terrible smell and the way he was crunched between strangers; squished between bodies, their alcoholic laced breathes blowing on various parts of his face and neck. It was warm enough so the chill in his body was fading, but it was being replaced by more fear, more apprehension as faces inclined towards him and stared at him with hard eyes, especially those of the sickly. A man at the counter was yelling, and people were shuffling around rapidly, enough to drown him in bodies. Subaru pushed and shoved more roughly, tossing away his mannerism, and escaping to an unoccupied corner and collapsing, sitting there and curling in on himself, burying his face in his hands. There were other people sitting on the floors, looking sickly and some disgusted as they examined his clothing, noting his diversity and immediately disliking it.

He shook until the last of the ice clinging to his body had melted to a puddle beneath him. Subaru wasn't checking the time (as if he could read the square, divided and strange clock on the wall – at least, he'd assumed it was a clock, the way people kept glancing at it) so he sat with no real intention of moving. He felt nauseated, but he wasn't about to venture into the cold once more and try his luck with finding another place to stay. He'd freeze to death.

It seemed the people of the bar had the same intention as him – waiting out the storm – for hours, Subaru assumed by the darkening windows, the crowds waited, the people turning into blurred grey colors and sharp, snapping sounds, intermingled with coughs. He wondered why everyone appeared to be so ill… It was terrible, how many people he'd seen lined up against the walls. He didn't think he'd be affected by it, being a vampire – but – what was wrong with this place?

Shaking his head lethargically, Subaru attempted sliding into a more comfortable position on the wooden floor; the combination of aching fatigue and aching hunger – nostalgia – intense, numbing disquiet – made him woozy, a feeling very similar to the aftertaste of many tears and woes – there was no bordering line between the time he fell asleep to the time he was awake. For what he assumed to be many hours he lay on the floor in his stupor, neither conscious nor aware of his surroundings, watching the way everything turned less and less distinguishable until there was nothing to distinguish anymore.

The following days wore on in much the same manner. Subaru awoke to an overweight man tugging on his sleeve, rousing him from slumber obnoxiously. Subaru's hunger exhausted him, and was on the edge to causing physical pain. The last time he'd fed had been the morning Kamui and he had left Kashi, and his instincts told him it'd been at least over 18 hours ago since he'd tasted blood. Sluggishly he moved, sitting upright, his slow motions angering the person who hovered above him further, and was swift to begin scolding him in that snappy language. Subaru swallowed, flustered and embarrassed, he handed the man a diamond – while the man paused – he hastily exited, not looking to see the person's reaction, hugging the plastic bag to his chest as a painful longing for holding Kamui struck him, causing himself feel timid and forlorn.

It was dawn, or sundown, Subaru couldn't tell which. He blinked at the various hues of the sky, trying to determine how long he'd slept as he squeezed the bag closer. The temperature wasn't nearly as low as it had been earlier – it was enough for him to withstand, even in his thin clothing. But it could drop again…

I don't know what to do, where to stay. I need money, but I can't even speak the language.

What am I going to do?

He ducked his head, hiding his disconcerted expression that was pushing further and further into fright. He was lost, alone, cold, and hungry – and to top it off – becoming increasingly afraid.

And thus day three of being away from Kamui passed, and Subaru careened through the winter streets, tiny flakes of snow floating down from the ashen sky, speckling him in little pallid bits of frost. His throat had gone dry to the point where it was unusable, his voice a mere croak when he spoke, and his abdomen felt like it was burning from the pain – his stomach was the worst, so much he hugged it with his left arm as he walked, attempting to not stumble on the watery streets as his eyes focused and unfocused glassily from extreme weariness – his limbs were hardly of any use, they felt like pieces of heavy plywood, his joints rigid and unbendable, all way from his toes to his fingers, though not from the cold – it was as if all his blood had been drained from his body. Walking in a straight line was near impossible.

Subaru choked on his dried esophagus, rasping, the people who passed barely glancing at him despite sounding and looking so ill. He turned to a gape between two buildings, attempting to relax, for a moment…

Subaru leant his shoulder to one of the walls, hugging himself, his tired steps wandering down the short path (he did not want to be seen in this state), while supporting himself up against the bricks as he moved, until he reached a patch of land with building walls all on its sides, strewn trash bags littering the empty lot. It seemed his sense of smell wasn't working properly, either, since there was no odor where there clearly should have been.

Sleepiness fogged his eyes and his vision blurred as he attempted holding the wall – fingers scraped across the sandpaper-like texture, and the world abruptly tipped on its side, the world flying upward and his height decreasing, pushing him down to the ground, his feeble legs failing without protest.

The patch of trash and snow was freezing to his cheek, but it was hardly there at all, in comparison to the pain in his abdomen, in his throat; his insides felt as if they'd been chafed to the point where they were bloodied… A subtle moan slid from past Subaru's lips before he had the energy to stop it, and it fazed out into a broken croak. He moaned again, a low, poignant sound, as he dimly tried to hold his stomach, the snow, trash, buildings, and the sky melting into one smudged picture as his eyelids dropped halfway over his glazed green eyes, until they slowly… slid shut…

A young man aging around early twenties sighed, frowning at a full length mirror as he smoothed down the wrinkles from his dark auburn coat, his long fingers playing back to the opened center, like elongated, whitened, elegant spiders, slipping buttons into their appropriate holes with extreme delicacy until his shirt was hidden from view. What a hassle... He thought distantly of his empty refrigerator, knowing it would be required he'd go out to get something to eat unless he wanted to be hungry for the rest of the day. And hunger wouldn't make due with his schedule.

Well, perhaps he'd venture down a new street, discover something new. The thought brought a smirk of anticipation to his face, and it was reflected back to him in the mirror.

The young man stuffed his hands in his pockets, wandering down the icy streets, careful to avoid slipping as he mused to himself. It was winter, after all, and cold was commonplace in this country, the season attributing to make it even colder. But beneath his coat he was warm and so were his hands as they snuggled into his pockets, a bit sweaty with the addiction of gloves, but not terribly bothersome. He was comfortable.

Curious eyes peered at him as he passed, drawn to his handsome features and tall posture, his slender body, his midnight black hair and the dark, almond colored blaze his eyes seemed to radiate. Women and teenagers smiled at him cutely when glancing at him, and he smiled back, though there was something of apathy in his gaze when he did so, something that was indifferent towards anyone who approached him. It was so subtle it was barely discernable.

Odd.

The man's eyes narrowed suddenly – he'd thought he'd felt – power.

Not that power was incredibly uncommon in this country, or even nonexistent… But what increased his curiosity was the way it felt – soft, petal-light, fleeting, and… fading, like the dim hue of a vanishing flame, flickering out in blackness…

Ignoring his previous task, the young man followed the trace of the magic, his senses tingling and electrified in his mind as he concentrated, turning street corners and around unfamiliar pathways, memorizing them as he swiftly walked, not pausing once in his plight. It was so faint, but so unique… so gentle, like the whisper of a song… and he knew there was greater strength behind it, and the mystery of it… intrigued him immensely… Especially since it was obvious to him the power was only weakened.

It grew and concentrated as he approached it, though not much so, increasing slightly only due to their diminishing proximity, and it soon led him to a pathway between two poorly furnished apartment buildings…

Hesitating, he approached it, spurring up his guard as he smirked from the delight of victory, of an oncoming discovery of something new – and stopped, still as a statue, his excited and simpering expression dissolving away into… awe…

Seishirou's eyes widened in disbelief; for the first time in years.

What was lying among the trash could not have been human… It, well, he, was far too beautiful, angelic, gorgeous in every miniscule aspect... like an angel with clipped wings… The cheeks were flushed a bluish tint, the purpled, chapped lips parted (which he was suddenly eager to kiss), allowing shallow breathes, exhales that flowed outward, forming small clouds that dissipated, only to be replaced by more. The body was small, dainty, and doll-like… but very visibly starved, showing in the nature of the loose clothing and the too-slender waist, forearms and legs. His attire was strange but appealing in a distinctive manner; it was some antiquated Victorian-age like garments that was dominated by black; making the paleness of the skin seem like porcelain, breakable, frail, attributing to the beatific imagery. The hair, so incredibly black it barely looked like it was real, was fine to every strand, dotted in the white from the snow. The shoulders, back and legs were speckled in the same way.

Seishirou shook the strange feeling off, barely giving it a second though, even though such feelings were so rare with him…

He knelt down by the creature's side, grazing its chilled face with his hand. He realized then his glove was creating a boundary between him and the mythical beauty, his discovery, and he immediately jerked the confinement off, reaching to stroke the face… The person, if he was a person, did not respond.

"Did sickness take you, little one? Did your family leave you behind…?" Seishirou inquired in a soothing tone, even though he was certain there would be no response, while his hand gently brushed a stray strand of silken hair from the face as he asked. The cheeks were ice-cold, giving him enough evidence to guess how long the boy had been out here, alone to die in the nostalgia of winter, in that warped misery, amid trash bags and disgust… A little beautiful unwanted Chinese doll, stripped naked, thrown out as garbage, because of a child's naivety… Seishirou's eyes roamed the body again, the clothes, and he thought out loud… "You're not from here, are you…" it was more of a statement than a question, and his eyes darted back to the face, smiling, almost apologetic,

"Poor, pretty thing…

Would you like to come home with me?"

PART I – END

A/N: Review so… I know what you think.