Sam rolled over in his illusive sleep. It didn't matter how many ways he tried- front, back, side, couch ground- nothing was working. Around one AM he'd actually moved out of the motel room and tried falling asleep in his truck bed.
Even that wasn't helping.
Finally giving up Sam checked his watch. 3 AM. This sucked. Another apparently sleepless night, then school and glee then work. Quinn would watch the kids for him, again. Once he would get home he'd put on Finn's old clothes, again, and play his guitar again, which everyone else had bought for him.
Would he ever stop owing people?
Speaking of owing people, Sam sat up and grabbed his phone from beside him. As he dialed the worn numbers on his cell, he looked up at the stars. They were beautiful.
He'd realized about a month after living in the motel that he was noticing these kinds of things. Of course he'd never tell anyone this, except-
There was a click on the other end. "Hey there my fellow insomniac."
"Hey Santana. You still awake?"
"Nope. I'm sleep talking again. Might as well hang up now because I'm going to be incapable of giving any sensible responses after this."
Sam gave a small laugh. It was small, but it was real. It seemed like the only real thing around him lately.
"So what's keeping you up tonight?"
"More yelling." Even through the phone Sam could hear Santana rolling her eyes. "It's the same as usual." She mimicked her mother's voice and switched back and forth from that to her father's. "'We don't do anything anymore! Because I'm busy. Busy with what? I have appointments. At two in the morning?'"
She gave a huge sigh. "You'd think I'd be used to it but…" Sam could feel the sadness in her voice. "So why are you still awake?"
He gave a short, dry laugh. "You'd think I'd be used to sharing a bed with my brother and sister. But then again you'd think I'd also be used to the fact that my family is broke and that I hardly see my parents anymore."
"You're not going to get used to it," Santana simply stated. "Seventeen years with one type of lifestyle isn't easy to forget."
Sam sighed. "I guess. How long have your parents been fighting like this?"
"A little over a year."
"Well, sixteen years isn't much easier than seventeen."
"Yeah." Another big sigh. "Our lives just suck."
This time Sam let out an actual laugh. Yes, Santana let Sam in on her softer side but she never let the conversation stay serious for too long. "Not all of it though. The stars are amazing tonight."
"You're in the truck bed again aren't you?" Santana said with a small laugh. He heard Santana's footsteps as she walked to her window. "Yeah, they are." He imagined a small, illusive smile on her dark features.
Then there was silence. A nice silence. The type of silence that fell between two friends where nothing was said but everything was understood. This was what Sam liked most about talking to Santana. Talking wasn't necessary. Unlike Rachel, who didn't shut up when she was helping him out with his sister. But it wasn't awkward like the silences that often fell between him and Finn lately, which usually happened when the topic of Quinn came up.
It was just silence.
After a while Sam thought of something. "How's everything with Brit going?" He then pictured Santana's small smile vanishing.
He didn't think Santana had meant to tell him about her being a lesbian, but it had happened. One night Santana was just in a mood, like she was pissed at the world, and started spilling everything. It had slipped out. She seemed to have become more relaxed about it though. At least when she talked to Sam about it.
"It's all the same. I'm a closeted lesbian who's dating a sweaty ass hole but really loves her best friend." She gave a sarcastic laugh. "Sounds just as sucky when I say it out loud, but I've come to accept it."
"You've come to accept a sucky life?" Sam asked, completely confused.
"No, I've come to accept the fact that I need to come out before I blow up."
Both of them laughed as she eased the tension again. "You'll help me right?"
Sam suddenly heard for the first time in her voice, fear. He'd heard her be angry, confused, sad and tired, but never scared. "Of course I'll help you."
He heard her sigh of relief. "You're awesome." He heard her shift her weight to look back out the window. "Tell me again why we look for, as you say 'beautiful things.' I still think it's really cheesy but I've been doing it longer than you and I still don't understand it."
"I think…" He paused. "I think we're trying to find something to replace the missing pieces in our lives, or at least to make us feel better about the sucky pieces. And it's just easier to find it in nature rather than people."
"Okay… yeah." He heard her confusion again. "Yeah, I'll go with that." She gave a little laugh. "You're a lot deeper than you let people know."
"And you're a lot nicer than you let people know."
Sam was surprised when he didn't hear a warning or a threat not to tell anyone. Instead he got something he'd never heard Santana say before. "Thanks."
"Anytime." Sam finally yawned. "Are they still yelling?"
"Yeah, I heard a door slam about five minutes ago. I guess I should try sleeping shouldn't I?"
"After last night, yeah. Probably. Night Santana."
"Night." Then a click.
Smiling, Sam shut off his phone and looked back up at the sky, all the stars still twinkling. With the sparkling image above his head, he shut his eyes and fell asleep at once.
The next day at school Sam was tired, but was smiling through it. He was still pretending to be happy and content with his sucky life.
But then he saw Santana walking down the hall with Karofsky. If he was pretending, she was acting. They smiled at each other, but that was it. Sam's deep side and Santana's soft side were only revealed over the phone.
Opening his locker a piece of cardboard fell out and clattered to the floor. Bending down Sam saw it was a package of little glow-in-the-dark stars. Smiling he flipped it over to the back to find a message. Put these up on your ceiling. Maybe we can both stop being insomniacs.
Laughing his real laugh Sam put them in his bag. Joining Puck and Mike down the hall, he kept a smile on his face. He was still pretending, just not as much.