P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

Prologue: The guy next door and a creepy new neighborhood.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I care that I don't! I have the right to use them for my own sick and twisted fictions because its in the amendment bitches!

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…orochimaru being orochimaru! Crossdressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird Sasuke as usual! XD

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in a little rural town. but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, Sasuke Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers.

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

~Naruto~

I picked up one more box and walked into my room were I had to now occupy. My uncle, jariya was busy in his study while I had to single handedly move in my own stuff. I had found help though. the crazy looking neighbors across from me were kind enough to help. Although I could tell that the only reason the red head was helping was because bushy brows here was. The red haired guy looked like he was going to kill me and he seemed bored. Bushy brow seemed over joyed and happy to help.

"thanks for the help dudes…do you-wanna come in?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me?! We loved too!!!" the black haired boy said.

"Lee…" the red haired guy sighed in aggravation. His look read no I want to get out of here.

"…uh you don't have to if-"

"Gaara!!! Please, you promised jerk." He balled his fist up and frowned.

"…but you promised we would--"

"And we will if you give me the opportunity to talk to somebody other then you all day."

Wait were they…

"Do you have to?" he asked so seriously.

"Oh gawd I hate you Gaara! Just go home if you must but leave me be!"

The red headed guy with no eyebrows smirked. This guy was evil. "What are you talking lee? Are you telling me what I can and can't do?" he asked with one hairless eyebrow cocked up.

"uh are you two going to fight cause if its just that serious I could-"

the red headed guy pounced on who I suppose was lee and started sexually harassing. Lee gasped and tried to run only to be held there, kissed against his will, and the other guy shucked his hands down his pants. Oh my gawd what was going on here?! The fought for like ten minutes before lee just started kissing back and bucking his hips into the hand that jacked him off. Gaara was kissing lee so possessively and so uncaring in the middle of the road in broad day light. Omg they were homo's! they were actually homo's…ew..ew…gross!!!

Lee bucked his hips hard twice before he made a sort of gurgle noise in gaara's mouth and feel back into Gaara's awaiting arms. Gaara sighed and looked up at me.

"Sorry you had to see that…I try not to do that in public but he was asking for it. What were you saying Naruto?" he suddenly was as normal as they come.

I stared in shock, oh hell no my neighbors were gay, crazy, bipolar, weirdo's!

"Ugh…nothing I gotta go to Mexico bye." I ran inside and closed the door behind me, I watched them through the window to see if they'd leave. Lee yelled at him for awhile before Gaara grabbed lee by the back of his hair and forced a thick kiss on him. Then he picked and angry lee up bridal style and left.

"Weirdo's, gosh!?!" I went into my room and started unpacking than I heard a boom and decided it was time to interrupt him and his lady friend.

I went down the hall and pushed the door open looking around. I'm sure the heard me they were just hoping I'd see them in the act and run scared. What I'm I eight; I use to do that when I was little old man.

"Ugh god Rochi you're amazing, yeah suck it bitch…suck it dry!" he held the shorter petite girl by the back of her head with her face in his lap. She kneeled on the flor in a knee high skirt. He was sitting on the bed legs spread wide with his pants half down his hips. Pervert! She was chocking on…yeah you know. And her shirt was barely open she was pale and really pretty but way under developed for a woman her age though but it was like her looks made up for what she lacked in the body.

Was sucking extra hard to the point were you could hear slurping sounds. I don't think I could sit there and watch pervy J get a BJ from some chick.

"Fuck rochi ugh…yeah…suck it down bitch—uh…fuck—wait Naruto!?" he pulled her off his lap and threw her on the floor.

"Hey pervy J." I waved my hand. "I let myself in…I guess the key you gave me actually worked and you weren't trying to abandon me in some crazy town…by the way your neighbors are weird you may want to watch out for them." I frowned.

"What, wait when did you get here? And who and why?"

"The ones right across the street from us, the red headed eyebrow less freak and the bushy browed bob cut boy with the extr3eme feminine shape…I walked over and helped the lady up…she smiled and moved the hair out her face. "yeah they started fighting then the red headed one attacked the other one and then he gave lee a hand job in the middle of the road."

Pervy J and the lady looked at each other. "Again…those two kids really have to stop bringing their sex outside the bedroom." They said together.

"What?! They do this often?! You need to report a cop."

"Haha, your funny spikes…that's just normal…around here anyway." The lady sighed. "By the way I'm your uncles significant other…Orochimaru but everyone calls me Rochi."

"okay…rochi was cute, but just as pervy, weird and mysterious as pervy J. Plus what kind of girls name is Orochimaru?! I sat in my room completing some résumé's I was going to need a job while I was down here. I get tired and decided to stretch near the window near the left sided neighbor. I knew them they were constantly in the magazines because if their playboy son , Itachi Uchiha, the greatest actor ever. I'm not gay but he has some sexy lips. And eyes. And hair. Shut up I'm not gay! But for someone with a rich son why do they live in such an average (this place is far from average) okay below average neighborhood?

That's when the room opposite of me in the Uchiha's house glowed up from someone turning on the lights. A man about six three and a female about my height maybe taller because of the hills walked in. The man looked around and then turned to the girl and pulled her to him and kissed her. The guy shook his head hair out of it's loose pony tail and the sunshades he wore fell off. There under the shades stood Itachi Uchiha!

"No way! He's here!!!!" I pressed up against the window and watched some more…he must have came home to see his parents secretly; the girl must have been some groupie.

Itachi threw the girl to the bed and they started a heated make out session that seemed only like seconds but in fact minutes had gone by. Then the girl kicked him off her and pointed at the door with a grin on her face. Itachi frowned at first then smirked gathered himself and then left with a kiss to her cheek while she swatted at him to leave before he tried anything. When he was gone she got up and strolled over to the middle of the room, a perfect view for me to see too, and started to undress. The sundress she had on slid off her slightly pale untainted shoulders and left her bare back naked for me to eat up. Turn around I want to see your tits. She had on cute bunny boy underwear and her pig tails were coming undone. I ended up drooling and leaning in as she seemed to be touching herself and gasping very softly.

Dammit she's the type of chick to cry when you stick it in her, sensitive everywhere, especially her nipples. Good I was rock hard now. I felt that if I just stared at her any longer my dick would have exploded. Almost of its own will my hand found my dick pulled it out of my pant and started to jack me off. I gasped and immediately felt light headed. I stumbled a little forward and half closed my eyes. Damnit she was hot, I'd never felt this way for another chick…even my ex who had huge tits.

I was so close already, so fucking close…I imagined her on all fours trying to give me a sloppy blowjob, me coming on her face, her trying to catch it all on her pretty face. Then I came it was so intense I had to close my eyes till I splattered out all of it. I don't remember coming that hard or that much since puberty. I had to stroke it a few more times just to calm my aching member which remained hard even after that amazing ordeal. When I opened my eyes I licked my lips and swallowed thickly. Damnit I'm thirsty.

I looked at the chick, who was looking at me with a mixed expression from her window. I could see her lips move and she pointed at me dammit my come was splattered on the window how embarrassing…if she doesn't sew me for sexual harassment, or voyeurism, then she would sew me for this. I gave her the finger and closed my window.

maybe she'll forget about it and just move on maybe she was just pointing at something else…maybe she didn't see me masturbate toward her.

I have to check…I peeked through the blind and saw a guy my height, my age, and sort of resembling to Itachi walking over here in a black collared shirt and some matching black slacks that fit him snugly.

Damnit she has a brother! An Uchiha brother!?

Chill Uzumaki don't panic!

Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

I heard silence from downstairs then Rochi's voice called for me.

"Naruto some ones here to see you!!!" she yelled.

"Tell them I'm busy…taking a bath!!!" I yelled back.

"He said he didn't mind waiting! I'm sending him up!"

"No!!! No, I'm naked…" I said back trying to find a weapon or something.

The door cracked open, "That didn't stop you from looking at me." Said a deep voice from behind it.

"…looking at who…who are you?" I said backing up until I hit the floor.

"…come on idiot, were going out." He said calmly.

"Hold up! I don't even know you and here you are taking me to-where are you taking me too?!" he simple sat back and laughed. It wasn't like a laugh at all more like a sinister chuckle.

"My sister wants to see the cute voyeuristic idiot boy that is dumb enough to masturbate in public like that…and give her the finger." He smirked.

"…oh…she told you all that? Well listen I wasn't masturbating to or at her, just happened to be facing…the window while I jack off…you know so it goes straight out…hahaha" I tried to calm him down but an idiot can tell that lie was bad.

"…really?" he walked over to my come painted window and whipped some of my come off with his thumb. This didn't even look like the window was open…you know what if you don't want to go talk to my sister then I'll go tell whoever it is downstairs that you jerk yourself off to the girl next door."

"Okay!!! okay-you win I'll talk to the bitch…" I sighed.

"Lets go dead last…" he walked by me and pulled me forward, unfortunately I was still a little hard and my dick rubbed against his also half hard dick. Why on earth he was he hard I don't know but this was gay. I jumped back and he looked at me weird.

He shrugged and lead the way I grabbed a jacket which was snatched from me and thrown back and said goodnight to the pervy couple. I walked into his house which was booming with the undead life. His cheerful mom that asked if he was eating with them and if I'd be joining them but he quickly said no and pulled me upstairs. I looked around for signs of the girl I stalked but found nothing everything up the stair well was masculine. Where did this girl live?

"Here go inside she's waiting he stopped in front of a all black door and looked back at me. I walked in ready you get this shit over with. Upon entering the bazaar room in which was most definitely not a girls room I tripped and fell face first into the bed. He walked in behind me and smiled. The room was almost all black but he had red light and red shelves. His bed was all black and the top blanket had a picture of a giant snake on it. In between the biggest shelves was a huge snake pit with a big ass snake in and a rat cage on top of it.

"So what's your name?" he asked slightly over joyed.

"Where's da broad?" I asked tired of his games.

"You mean Sasuke? Or Sasume?" he smiled grabbing his hair and pulling them into pony tails. He was…the girl I had just masturbated to. My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't breath…I just jacked off to a dude!

"Please tell me this is some type of joke…you have a twin right?"

"Nope…dobe…I have a job. I work at heavens hands host club. Its for men who like cross-dressers and pretty boys (seme). You happened to catch me undressing…stupid Itachi he threw me off track." He closed the door behind me and kneeled on the bed in between my legs.

"So now that I've told you the truth you tell me what's your name dobe?" why was this asshole such a prick.

"Stay the fuck away from me gay boy Sasuke! That's my name…" he frowned and put his hand on his hips.

"That's not a proper boys name…tonight until I get my revenge on you, you're my bitch and until I've tired of what's in between your legs pretty boy." He sat up and leaned in on me. Oh hell no, we don't play that where I'm from.

So I punched him, I don't care if he had a pretty face. Don't kiss me!

"Ouch you little…Usurantonkachi…what was that for?!" he held his face getting up and balling up his fist too.

"Because you're trying to rape me!!! And I'm not gay!!!" I hissed.

"And this is coming form the guy who just whacked his goodies off all over the window for me! Are you trying to tell me no!?" he hissed.

"Uh duh bitch I don't do anal sex!" I sat up to be punched down.

"Answer me…you telling me, Sasuke Uchiha, no?!" he whispered between gritted teeth.

"Yes…I'm telling you NO!" I said back.

"Suck a dick dobe, I DON'T get told no! Especially not by guys!" he pushed me down and in the blink of an eye tied my hands above my head. He sat down on my still hard member (traitorous cock, you go to who ever offers to touch you!) and grinded his hips smirking.

"Listen you B-b-AS-tard…s-st-stop it…I'ma c-come in my pants…" I gasped.

"Would you rather come in my mouth? Or Sasume's mouth," he licked my neck and I shivered. Damnit I wanted to fuck something raw right now.

"Fuck you fucking psycho! Stop it right-" a hand slid into my pant and stole my dick giving it some feverish pumps. I bucked my hips uncontrollably into his awaiting palm.

Then he was gone his weight on top of me and his hand I was starting to like. I looked down and he licked my free member causing me to see stars. Just when I thought he was tired of just licking it he took the entire thing down his throat and sucked hard. I gasped and bucked trying to push him off. At least that's what I told myself I was doing, but really I could have just been enjoying it.

He seemed to not have a gag reflex because he didn't spit me up for awhile. Then he took a deep breath and resumed. He pulled back and sucked on just the head of my cock leaving me moaning out loud. Then he sat up grabbed some lube and pour a large amount onto his hand; bro did I think it was over. He resumed his intake of my dick and then I felt him moan around the meat in his mouth. He sucked and gaped all around it.

I didn't all too much understand what was going on till Sasuke started moving his arms really fast underneath him. He was masturbating and finger fucking himself. Then he sat up and tried to get on top of me. No fucking way was I fucking a man, especially a crazy man. I moved and struggled trying to get him to avoid the inevitable. He finally growled when he realized he was still empty.

"Dammit dobe, don't you want to fuck this perfect ass?!" he hissed.

"Fucking a guy was not on my agenda this morning!!!" I hissed back.

"Your such an idiot! You were fucking my mouth a little while ago and now you don't want to do that any more?! Fine, virgin, fuck my mouth!!!" he sat back on his knees and took me back down his throat so quickly and so vast I felt him chock around me and felt as if I'd die! He started to bob his head hard, while with one hand he masturbated and the other he fucked himself. I heard him cry out around the cock in his mouth as he came. I couldn't take it the feel of his groans and the sound had me arching off the bed and coming into his mouth. I shoot so much I could feel him struggling to hold it in. He pulled back and sat there staring at me as I came down form my high.

After the tingle started to die out I looked down to see him staring at me with a mouth load of come he opened his mouth and showed me my essence then swallowed it and smiled. I gushed, that had to be the gayest most disgusting thing I'd ever seen…yet…I was so fucking turned on the hand that was slowly stroked my dick stopped and I came all over his face again. He laughed but whipped it off with his fingers and then liked it clean. I felt so contempt and tired that I passed out as he slid over me and fell asleep.

What was this weird feeling?

The balcony was cool and brisk and calming. Especially compared to the uncomfortable feeling in there. Okay I had a lot to think about, like this boy was still attractive to me, and he was obsessed with me or something. And then there was the fact that he wanted me to fuck him so badly he was willing to rape me…well reverse rape me. More like use my thing to rape himself. But still I've been here for eight hours mom and already I want to go back to Konoha! I wish this day would friggin end already!

I thought it couldn't get worst when a long haired guy rode into Bushy brows and crazy guys drive way. He was on a all black Harley Davis with a black matching outfit. He took off the helmet and you gotta admit straight or not he was pretty good looking.

But he had to be gay going to those peoples house. Suddenly the people in the house next door came out from their balcony and started yelling at him.

"Neji!!! You know Gaara put a mother fucking restraining order on you !!! Now leave before I call the cops for then!!!" a brunette boy howled half naked. He was in nothing but a towel and he looked ruffled like he had just walked out for sex.

"Kiba, come back inside I wasn't even close to finishing!" a naked taller guy shades on came out after him and yanked him toward him by his hair the other guy fell to his knee's in front of his cock and just started licking it. Then a a pregnant woman came out of the same house. She had massive tits and a nice body with a baby doll face, but that pregnant belly was a turn off.

"Kiba do this inside so they don't call neighborhood patrol on us!" she yelled.

"Hinata, Shino started it!" he whined and was pulled to deep throated the other boy.

"And your finishing it!" he hissed.

"Shino!?" she whined.

"Will you three take your bad t.v. drama were children can't see another man sucking cock!" the brunette from the bike yelled.

"What the fuck is going on here people were trying to sleep!" The weird guy from this morning yelled.

"Subaku no Gaara gimme back what's mine!!!!" he yelled balling up his fist to him.

"Oh, Neji it's just you…listen lee's asleep and that restraining order doesn't expire till next year June. Stay away stalker!" he hissed.

"Listen you bastard just because you put a citation on me doesn't mean I care and Lee is my soul mate so I'm here to claim him!"

"Get off my door step, you weirdo!" eyebrow-less spat.

"Gimme back my lover!" He whined.

"Ugh why is everyone outside?! Oh good morning Shino, Kiba-or is it still night? Wait what are you doing here Neji!!!" Lee hissed. His night wear was so gay. It was an all pink pants and button up shirt. Gaara slept in a shirt and sweat pants, Kiba and Shino apparently slept naked, and the female slept with an oversized male shirt.

"Oh fuck Kibaaaaaa!!!!" Shino chocked down the rest of his dick into kiba's mouth and bucked his hips roughly into his mouth. Kiba pulled back and swallowed. Suddenly all I could think about was how Sasuke sucked my cock so well and swallowed my come vastly.

"What is everybody doing up so late?" came the guy on the other side of my house balcony.

"Ugh Sai it concerns you not!" Lee hissed.

"Lee I love you marry me?!!" Neji yelled.

"Go home Neji I've already said no to this comment before!" he frowned.

"What must I do to have you…lee I love you! Marry me, and give me babies, and then we can move to Japan, and then-"

"Neji go home weirdo!" Gaara hissed.

"Shut up freak!"

"Freak?! FREAK?!? I'm no freak…" he seemed really insulted.

"Here we go again. Yosh!" Lee rolled his eyes and walked for the door.

"Lee your stalkers back!" Sai pointed.

"Thank you captain obvious…anyway shouldn't you be letting your actor, pretty boy, boyfriend fuck you raw?" Kiba snorted. "shouldn't you be doin the exact same except with a much less attractive partner?" he asked with a stern serious look on his face.

This was better then cable!

"Bastard how dare you I'm coming down there!!!" he looked like he was going to jump off the balcony but Shino was holding him. His leg that was in the sky let everything show, suddenly what looked like water dripped out of his hole.

"Ugh Shino you spunk from earlier is coming out!" Kiba said. He ran inside and closed the door on the girl.

"Huh, he calls come spunk...?" Gaara asked.

"You call it honey." Lee accused.

"That's because your sweet like honey!" Gaara said and then kissed him.

"Get off of him he's mine!"

the house on the other side of left side of Gaara's house light up as someone else joined the show on the balcony.

"What a drag….can't you jack asses see your waking everyone up…do you really want neighborhood patrol here!?" This lazy looking guy said. He only had on a pair of shorts on hen a fat guy in a muscle shirt and boxers came out.

"Shut up Shika!!!" they said in unison.

"What a drag…I'm going to bed." he turned but his fat friend stayed.

"Hi Choji!!!" Lee said happily pushing Gaara away.

"Hey Rock lee what up?" he waved back.

"Everyone's fighting and I want to go to sleep!" lee frowned.

"I'd let you sleep my love…after I feed you this cock!" Neji spat.

"That's sexual harassment!" Sai said.

"Choji can we go back to bed?" Shika pleaded rubbing his finger on his fat friends chest.

"It's like Suigetsu made you a sex animal…do you get tired of getting off."

"What ever stay out side with these HOMO's of you want!" he started stomping away when Sai said something again.

"Does sui know your fucking your best friend while he's off studying in Germany?!" Sai asked once again so serious.

"Does Itachi know you're an idiot!?" Shika asked pissed.

"Yeah, I think he knows I'm an emotionless idiot…but its okay Your really cute and just want big cock every once in a while. Because everyone knew sui had a small penis!!!" Sai yelled.

I snickered an everyone looked at me.

"Hey its neighbor friend!!! Hi neighbor I'm sorry about this after noon…or was it morning ugh!?" lee waved.

"uh heya…!" I waved.

"you there don't you dare try and take what's mine too!" Neji hissed.

"Neji shut up! Shut up! Shut up stalker boy! They'd all be asleep of you'd shut up and move on!" Shika yelled.

"And everyone would like you more if your weren't such a know it all prick." He shot back.

"Look I'ma go to bed now-"

"Sai, there you are let's go inside and take a bath together…" Itachi Uchiha came out of sai's balcony and hugged him in a matching robe.

My god he's gay…well he was kissing Sasuke earlier, wait Sasuke is his BROTHER!!! INCEST!!!

"Coming babe, but things are getting interesting here!" he smiled.

Suddenly the all pink house on the street gave off a loud boom. Every one paled and Neji got back on his bike and left kissing at lee. A blonde headed lady with a pig appeared on her balcony with a muscle shirt no bra and some underwear. "Go to mother fucking sleep you Fags!!!" she hissed.

" S-sorry tsunade!!!" they all yelled.

"Don't give me an explanation for it just fucking go to bed! Hell I don't care if you even go to hell just stop yelling at eleven o'clock at night!!! If I have to come over personally and cut off all your balls so you can stop yelling your hormones out I WILL!!!!" she pointed and the pig squealed and ran around.

"Tsunade-chan why are you doing stop yelling before neighborhood patrol comes!!!" a younger black haired girl came out and yelled.

"Shut up Shizune!!!"

"What me shut up you must not want no sex for the rest of the month!!???!" she hissed.

"Okay-alright already! GO to damn bed or I'll but you dogs asleep permanently! And shizune,"

"What ma'am?" she smiled.

She grabbed the girl by the back of her head and kissed her hard.

"There now shut up and go to sleep!" she dragged the pig and the other girl back into the house.

Dammit fags and lesbo's all around. What type of neighborhood is this!?

"See you neighbor boy! Hey everyone house warming for neighbor boy tomorrow at noon!!!" Lee yelled. No! No fags in my house!

"Wait no-Noway!!!!" I screamed.

"Hey why are you at Sasuke's house?" Kiba said from the window. "Are you tslking to Sasume?" he made smooching noises at me.

"I'm no fag, fag!!!" I hissed.

"…okay if you say so" he shrugged and closed the window.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around me and hugged me close. The person rubbed his face onto my back and purred. "Come back to bed, dobe?" he sighed.

"Get off me fag…I leaned forward ad looked away. "I'm sleeping at my house tonight-in fact I'm sleeping in my house until I marry my wife and we have kids and you know…"

Yawn "Whatever…just come stay with me a little bit more baby." He was really freaking me out. What was wrong with everyone on this street?!

"Naruto!!!" Rochi called form the balcony. "It would seem you made a friend and meet the neighbors! Come inside though, me and jariya are going out."

"Okay…welp gotta go and you know be straight!" I pushed his arms off and left.

"Bye Naruto…" he said with a sinister smile.

I walked into the house expecting to see two grown people dressed instead I saw rochi's naked back…her ass was great, then she turned around and I saw her penis…wait her penis!?!

"Ohmygawd you're a man!!!!" I hissed.

"Oh my…I didn't mean for you to see my penis…" he looked down and smiled at his dick. "It would seem I'm aroused."

"Oh my gawd Jariya!!!" I ran into a naked Jariya trying…and I said trying because I mean it…trying to fit into a lather getup.

At this point I screamed, threw up, and I'm not sure what else but I past out.

Dear mom,

I miss you!

Hope you liked Read and review!

Uke-chan