Disclaimer: SVU does not belong to me. Neither do the characters. I got this idea when someone told me Liv's with Cassidy now. Not that I care, because I don't, but I thought I'd write this, where El gets his woman back. This is just a oneshot, and I hope you all like it. All I ask is if/when you leave reviews, please do not tell me anything about SVU. I do not want to know. It ceased being SVU for me when Chris left. Okay. Read on! Also, in season 10, the episode Swing, Olivia mentions that Elliot had been her partner for eleven years, lending to reason that she and Elliot had been partners for a year before the show began. That is usually what I go with when writing fics.
She's Not Yours
By Julia
Elliot couldn't believe that Olivia was dating that guy. Cassidy. It was completely suckish. Elliot didn't really know what he was going to do about it. He didn't want her to be with him any longer. Elliot Stabler was going to fight for Olivia Benson because that was what he knew to do. He loved her and he always had. He never should have left the Unit. They should still be working together. Elliot missed her like crazy. They hadn't seen each other in two years. Elliot knew that he had to remedy that. He had sent her his Semper Fi medal, though, because he loved her and he didn't want Kathy to have it. It was meant to be Olivia's. Elliot had to come up with a plan to get her back. He just didn't know what it should be. He had his own place now. He and Kathy were divorced. He hadn't been able to stay with her after he had left the Unit. Kathy hadn't accepted him leaving and taking his pension early. Elliot had been in love with Olivia for 15 years, so it didn't really matter. He had been more upset with where the youngest Stabler Eli would go. Until he'd found out Eli wasn't his. That had been a blow. He knew that he should have gotten a test done. He supposed he was still the only father that Eli knew but he just didn't know if he could keep raising him when he wasn't his child. Elliot hoped that didn't make him a jerk. He just couldn't. At least not right now. Elliot had always been an advocate of loving your kids, whether they shared your blood or not, but Kathy had lied to him for years. Eli was almost in school. That was a very long time to lie to him, letting him think that Eli was his. It was all a mess.
It was a very hot June day. Elliot was grilling burgers. He didn't have the kids today. He had gotten in touch with his old friend, Casey Novak. They had used to work together. He was going to get her opinion about what to do with Olivia. Elliot knew that Casey had been surprised to hear from him. She hadn't been back in the city very long. A few years ago, she'd had to go to Florida, to take care of her mother, who'd been sick. She'd been gone for two years, and then when she'd come back, she'd been taking off a year and living in the Hamptons. Elliot felt badly that she'd lost her mother. He didn't really talk to his own. He loved his mother, but she was bipolar and hadn't always been a good mother. Elliot was not sorry that he didn't have much to do with her. He had told Casey that he needed to speak to her. She had been very confused. She didn't know what he could want, he knew. Elliot put the burgers on the grill. Casey would be here soon. He had plenty of beer and soda in the fridge. He was prepared. He knew that he had messed up when it came to Olivia. He knew that. He just wanted to make it all right.
It wasn't too long before Casey had arrived. Elliot opened the door to let her in. He had a place in Brooklyn. It wasn't what he was used to. He'd always lived in Queens. The place in Brooklyn had been pretty cheap. It had been a foreclosure. It had five bedrooms and three baths. And a finished basement. Elliot liked that. He had rooms for the kids to come and visit if they so chose. He opened the door to a smiling Casey Novak. "Hey, Novak." He said. He grinned back and she stepped inside. Elliot gave her a hug after a moment. When he pulled away, he had a grin for her. "You look good, Casey. Real good. The time off agreed with you." They went into the kitchen. Elliot gave her a beer. Casey was a beer drinker. So was Olivia. Some women weren't. He liked that they were. They were real, and that was a good thing. Elliot had put out some chips and potato salad, too. He thought it was far too hot to try and have anything else with the burgers. It was almost 80 outside. Elliot said, "I need your help."
The fact that he was asking for help was throwing her a little. Casey thought that it was a good thing. It meant that he was growing. She looked at him as she cracked open her beer. "What with?" Casey asked curiously. It could be a myriad of things, but her suspicion was that it had to do with Olivia. She knew that they hadn't talked in a long while. Casey felt sorry for him. She knew that he had been dealing with a lot. She knew about his having left the Unit. It was not something that she blamed him for. That had been awful, and Casey wasn't sure if she would have been able to come back from that. Casey couldn't imagine how he had felt. That had been something that had been unavoidable, unfortunately. He'd had to stop her. Casey sipped the beer she held. She wondered if she should ask if it was about Olivia. She didn't want to upset him if it wasn't. That was a touchy subject for the both of them. They both seemed to be a bit closed off when it came to letting someone else in. She didn't really know why but it made them perfect for each other. Casey knew Liv was seeing Cassidy. She still wasn't sure why. Liv loved Elliot.
"I need help with Liv." Elliot said, wasting no time. He didn't see the point in beating around the bush. That was pointless. He really wondered what Casey was going to be able to do to help him. He didn't know how serious Liv was about Cassidy. He hoped she wasn't, but it wasn't going to stop him either way. Casey looked back at him with a knowing glance. Elliot ducked out the back door to turn the burgers before he said anything more. Casey was waiting patiently for him when he came back. He put the plate he'd need for when he was ready to put the burgers on the table. Elliot was glad that Casey was willing to help. He didn't think he could do this without her. Olivia was sure to be pissed off at him for not contacting her. Elliot wasn't sure that he blamed her for being angry. He had disappeared without a word. Elliot didn't know how he was going to get her to listen. He only wanted Olivia. He wanted to marry her and have children. He cared about her so much. "Casey, I love her."
That was not a surprise to her. It was apparent to anyone with eyes. Casey wished that she could tell him it was going to be easy. It wasn't. It was going to be incredibly hard. She really wished that she could find someone that she cared about like Elliot cared about Liv. Casey hadn't ever really loved anyone since her last boyfriend. He had been schizophrenic, and it had been too hard to make it work. Casey wished that she could feel that way again. That bothered her more than she wanted to admit. "I know, Elliot. The only one who doesn't is Olivia." Casey sipped her beer. She looked at him. "I wish I could tell you that it will be easy." She shrugged. "But if anyone can get through to her, it's you." She wished it would be easy for him, but it was going to be hard as hell. It was very complicated. Casey looked at him. "She's with Cassidy now. They've been dating for a few months." Casey wasn't sure that she liked Cassidy all that much. He was... well, totally different than she had ever thought he'd be.
Elliot made a face. "I know." He said. He didn't know that he blamed Cassidy for having feelings for Olivia. It was nearly impossible to not have feelings for her. She was a very beautiful woman. And she was completely amazing. He didn't think he could blame him for falling for her. Elliot blamed himself mostly for being the one to leave. He had hurt her, and he knew that. He was the one who was going to have to fix this. Elliot was going to do his best to make sure that he did. He loved her more than anything in his life. Except his kids. Elliot nodded. "I will stop at nothing to make sure that she's mine. I've hurt her in so many ways and I don't ever want to do that again. I love her. I don't ever want to hurt her again. I don't know if that's really realistic, but I don't want to anymore. I only want to love her. I know she's not in love with him. I know it. I know she loves me. It's just... it's what I know. She can't fake that. I just... I have to get that back."
Meanwhile, Olivia Benson was in her apartment. She didn't know how she had agreed to date Brian Cassidy. She didn't know how she had made it through Elliot being gone at all. It wasn't something that she thought would never happen at all. Olivia had been completely devastated when Elliot had disappeared. She didn't know why he had disappeared on her, but she wasn't going to count on seeing him again. She had missed him more than anything else in the whole world. She didn't know how she was just supposed to go about her life without him in it. Cassidy was just... there. Olivia had liked using him for stress relief. He was thinking about it all more seriously than she was, but she didn't really care at the moment. She didn't know how she was going to make it if she kept dating him. She still loved Elliot. She still loved him with all her heart and soul. She was sitting on her couch, watching some shitty movie on tv. Olivia didn't really know what to do about her life. She was tired of life hitting her in the balls. It was beyond exhausting. Olivia couldn't keep up with it anymore. All she wanted was to eat ice cream until she burst.
When her phone rang, Olivia was surprised. She looked at the display. It was Fin. They were close like brother and sister. She hadn't talked to him in awhile. She wanted to hug him she was so glad that he called. "Hey, Fin." She said, as she flipped through the channels to find something stupid to watch. She didn't want to have to think about anything. She let out a breath. "What are you up to?" She asked. Olivia wasn't sure she wanted to tell him what she felt about Elliot. What she felt about Cassidy. She and Fin hadn't really talked very much about personal things lately. She didn't know that she wanted to get into it. It was too much to deal with. And if she talked to him about it, it would make it all seem real. Olivia didn't want to pull her head out of the sand right now. She didn't want to even think about any of the implications. Olivia settled on an old rerun of Cheers and said, "Tell me what you've been doing lately." She wanted to focus on what Fin had going on.
Fin knew that Olivia was a hot mess right then. He knew that she didn't really have feelings about the other man. He knew that she didn't really love him. He knew that he had a past with Fin's current partner Munch. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He and Munch were very close. Fin was pretty sure he was in love with him. They hadn't talked about it. Fin didn't want him to know just yet. He didn't know if John felt the same and he wasn't going to put himself out there. Fin wasn't sure if he was going to make Olivia talk to him about her feelings or not. He didn't know if she really believed that no one knew that she was in love with Elliot. Fin was pretty sure that everyone in the precinct knew about her feelings. Fain wasn't sure about Amaro and Rollins, but he knew the rest of them did. He also knew that Elliot loved her back. Fin said, "Liv, are we really going to do this? Not talk about anything that's going on with you? I know that you aren't in love with Cassidy." Fin didn't know that he wanted to really talk about it, but he knew that Olivia needed to talk about it all. "I know that you need to talk about it."
That surprised her. Olivia hadn't expected him to say that at all. Olivia wasn't sure that she wanted to continue. Olivia didn't want to let him in. "Oh my God." She said, running her free hand over her face. Olivia couldn't believe this was happening. "What makes you think that I'm not in love with Brian?" She chose to ask. Olivia wasn't sure where else he was going with this. She didn't want to know, she was sure. Olivia ran her hand over her brown hair. This wasn't what she had expected from her day. She might have to rethink the beer she hadn't been planning on having. She might need the alcohol. "Fin, I don't know where you're going with this." Olivia said. She tried to think if she had any beer. There probably wasn't any. "I am with him, and that's the end of the discussion." Olivia wasn't sure if he'd be stubborn or not. She hoped he'd let it drop. Olivia didn't want to talk about what Fin thought it was. She had a feeling she knew. Casey had talked to her about it, too. She hadn't wanted to hear it. That was the bad part.
"Oh, babygirl, I love you and you know it. You aren't in love with Cassidy and you know it though. You are in love with Stabler. He probably doesn't know it, but you are. You shouldn't be with Cassidy. You need to talk to him. Sort things out. You can't expect him to be with you when you love another dude. It's not right, babygirl." Fin knew that most of what he was saying was going to make her angry. He really wasn't trying to hurt her. This was for her own good. Fin didn't think that her and Elliot being apart was doing anyone any good. They needed to get their shit together. What they were doing wasn't helping anything. "Olivia, you may not believe me. And I can't make you. But that man loves you. He does. More than anything. You need to go to him and work it out. There's no reason for you two to be apart." As he was saying this, it occurred to him that he could take his own advice and talk to Munch. He just didn't think that he could. He didn't want to say the words out loud and have John reject him. They were Munch and Fin. It just had the potential to blow up in their faces. He didn't want to lose him from his life. He was all Fin had.
Despite her will not to cry, she did. Olivia had not expected him to say anything like that. She cried, doing her best to keep breathing. She didn't know why he had said all of that. Olivia ran her hand through her brown hair. This was too much. "I can't, Fin. El ran away from me. From us. I don't... I just can't..." She still had the medal that he had sent her. She still needed him to explain why he had sent it to her, but she had it. Olivia had wondered what made her so special. He should have given it to Kathy. Olivia tried to stop crying and hiccuped. Olivia wasn't going to get a happy ending and she knew it. She didn't deserve to be happy. Olivia had too much baggage to be happy. "It's not going to work out or us. We don't get a happy ending." Olivia wished that it would work out for them. It was too late. Too much had happened. It was never going to happen. Olivia managed to calm down a little. She got up and went to the fridge to get some beer. "Don't try and talk me into going to talk to him."
She was so damn stubborn. She didn't get it. Fin really wasn't sure if he was going to get her to listen to him, but he was going to do his best. Fin knew that this was the best thing for her. She needed to be with Elliot. It was about time that they worked things out. They had been in love for 15 years now. "Olivia, you can have a happy ending." Fin replied. He knew that they were perfect for each other. They were so very stubborn. Fin said, "Olivia, you are going to get a happy ending." He couldn't blame her for being messed up. She didn't have any good examples to measure up to. That made sense to him. She just didn't think that she could have it all. And he knew that she could have it all. She hadn't ever let anyone in. Fin wished that he could make things easier for her. He just couldn't. "Olivia, you can be happy. You and Elliot just need to talk." Fin said. This could work out. She just had to have faith. Even if he knew that she didn't. "He loves you. I know he does. You just have to be patient." It might all be falling on deaf ears. Fin wasn't sure that anything he was saying was making any difference. "You can have it all."
Olivia didn't believe him. It just couldn't happen for her. She didn't believe it. She didn't think that she could even handle being around Elliot right now. Too much had happened. It was not fair for her to assume anything. She started crying again. This was the last thing she needed right now. She had been doing her best to forget that Elliot had even existed. It wasn't exactly working. She wasn't sure what she was going to do. She couldn't even entertain the idea of having to see Elliot. "It took me a lot of time to get over him. I'm still not even over him." Olivia knew there was no point in hiding that from him anymore. She was upset and he could tell. Olivia cracked open the beer she'd pulled from the fridge and took a long swallow. This couldn't be happening. Olivia had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't have Elliot in her life anymore. The fact that he could just come back into her life was tripping her up. Olivia knew that she couldn't do it. "Just drop it, Fin." She said, hanging up.
A couple of days later, Elliot was at Olivia's apartment door. He was so afraid of what Olivia was going to say. Elliot was armed with everything he and Casey had talked about. Elliot knew that this was going to be a gut wrenching conversation, but they would end up together. Elliot was sure of it. He didn't know if he would have the right words, but he wasn't leaving here without having tried his level best. Elliot steered himself and then knocked on her door. He didn't know what she would say when she saw that it was him. Elliot didn't know how he was going to start off. He didn't have much time to think about it, because then the door was opening and Olivia was standing there. Her long brown hair framed her face, and her eyes were puffy with sleep. She didn't really look at him long before she was starting to close the door. Elliot put out a hand to stop her. "Olivia, don't." He said. He didn't want to make her upset, but he wasn't going until he said his piece. Elliot did his best not to back down. "Olivia, I need to talk to you. I'm sorry, okay. I know that I left without telling you. I never meant to hurt you. Can we talk?"
That was rich. Olivia didn't know what to say to that. She wasn't wanting to see him at all. This was not what she had expected. "Elliot, what are you doing here?" She asked. It had been two years. They had used to spend so much time together. Olivia had been practically aching to see him during those two years. Olivia didn't want to see him right now. Not now that she had started dating Cassidy. This wasn't going to help anything. "I don't know what you think is going to happen for us." Olivia wasn't sure what words she should use to get him to leave. "I won't listen to anything you have to say. You left, without a word! Why should I let you in? Why should I listen to your pitiful excuses?" Olivia didn't really get it. Why was he here? Why was he back? Olivia couldn't do this. "What do you think is going to happen? That I'm just going to forget that you pushed me away and didn't call me in two years? And you just show up here now? Elliot, I can't do this. I can't." She didn't mention his wife. She was just talking about now.
Elliot nodded. "I'm sorry, Olivia. I know that I hurt you. Just please, let me in. I want to talk about this with you." Elliot hoped that she'd let him in. He really had to get all of this off his chest. Elliot didn't want to hold it all in anymore. It was just too much. He had to tell her how he felt. "I promise, if you don't like what I have to say I'll leave. Just, hear me out, Liv. Okay? I know it's been a long time. There's lots to tell you." Elliot wanted to get it all out. He wanted to make her understand that all he wanted was to be with her. And that it was all he had ever wanted. Elliot watched her face as she debated this. Finally, she gave an eye roll and stepped back to let him in. Elliot felt a triumph and stepped inside. He had missed this apartment so much since he had seen it last. He headed for the living room. He paced as he thought about where to begin. Olivia didn't move, just stood by the couch, waiting for him to speak. He ran his hand over his short brown hair. "Olivia, I am so sorry that this happened. I... I was really dealing with a lot since I... since I had to shoot Jenna." He said. It still was hard to talk about.
That was a given, she thought. Olivia wasn't sure that she could hear all of this without a stiff drink. She steeled herself for what he might say next. Olivia wasn't sure what it was going to be. She wasn't blaming him for what had happened with Jenna. She had come into the precinct, and had opened fire on the place. Elliot had done what he had had to do. Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to look too closely into the whole reason why he had done what he had had to. Other than Sister Peg had been shot and Elliot was keeping everyone safe. Olivia waited as he paced. He was brooding as usual. Olivia didn't know what to say to get him to start talking again. She wanted this over as quickly as possible. Olivia wasn't sure how much longer she could stand here and not start crying. She had told herself that she was never going to get to be happy. That she wasn't going to get to have kids and that Elliot would never be hers. This was messing with what she had told herself all these years. She folded her arms and waited.
Taking a deep breath, Elliot said, "I... I know that someone had to keep everyone from dying. I know that. But I... I couldn't even think about the idea of losing you. I knew that if I didn't save you, I would lose you." Elliot stopped pacing and set his ice blue eyes on her brown ones. "Olivia, I love you. I have for fifteen years. I don't want to lose you." Elliot didn't cry often, but tears brushed his eyes. "I want to be with you. Kathy and I split up not long after I left the Unit. I just couldn't be with her anymore. I love you and I always have. You are the reason that I want to get up every morning. You are the thing that I wan the most. You are what drives me. You are the one I love." Elliot didn't care what his kids would say. He was 48 years old, and he could live his life as he saw fit. His kids would be upset. Elliot knew that. But this was right. It was supposed to happen. He knew it was. Elliot would go to the ends of the Earth for Olivia. He would lay down his life for her. "I couldn't handle what I had done to save you. I don't want to lose you. I love you. I just... I needed time to work all that out. When I did, I found out Eli isn't mine."
That was a complete shock. That his motivations had been to keep her safe. Olivia hadn't expected him to say any of that. When Fin had said that Elliot loved her, she had been very surprised. That had been the last thing that she had expected him to say. She had thought that Fin had been exaggerating or something. Olivia didn't really know what to say any of that. "El..." She said, starting. She hadn't called him that in a really long time. Olivia looked at him, her mouth working with no sound. She ran her hand over her long brown hair. This was very unexpected. She let out a breath, and looked away, unable to take the conviction in his eyes. He was serious about this. She could tell. Olivia didn't deserve him. As angry as she was at him, she didn't deserve him. He was a very good man. He always had been. Olivia was just too damaged to be good enough for him. She didn't think that she could ever be what he was worth. "El, no. We can't be together. I'm not good enough."
If it wasn't something that Elliot knew that she meant, he would have laughed. She was too good for him. They both had issues. That was what made them perfect for each other. They also knew each other really well. They knew all the good and bad stuff about each other. Elliot didn't know where she would have gotten the idea that she wasn't good enough for him. It was saying something too, because he knew that she was still pissed at him. Elliot stepped forward, and took one of her hands in his, keeping hold of it even when she tried to pull her hand away. "Olivia, you are too good for me. And you always have been. I have no right to be here, asking you to be with me. But I love you. I will do whatever you need me to do to prove it. I love you. I have since I first laid eyes on you. You are the only thing that I feel like I could want to kill myself if I lost. Besides my kids, but that's a completely different thing." Elliot wasn't sure that she believed him, but he was serious. "Please, Olivia. I don't want you to push me away. I want this to work out. I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. Kathy was just a pit stop. She gave me my kids but I'm not in love with her."
Olivia's brown eyes stayed full of tears. She didn't deserve to be with him. She wasn't going to be happy. Or have kids. And wait. Eli wasn't his? She had to focus. Eli wasn't his. "Eli isn't your son?" She said, ignoring all of what he had said after that. "You... oh my God." That was crazy. She didn't blame Elliot for needing time to adjust to that. It was a very big item of news. Olivia took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Elliot sat with her. He was being very patient. Olivia's fingers were still laced with his, and she found herself thinking about that as she tried to adjust to that idea. They could have been together five years ago. Kathy and Elliot had been separated, and Olivia had always thought something might have happened. Then Kathy had told Elliot she was pregnant. El had even thought he might need a DNA test to prove if Eli was his or not. She finally lifted her eyes to his. "She stole a lot of time from us." Of course, Elliot had stayed with Kathy. It was the Catholic part of him. She both loved and hated that part of him.
"I know." Elliot said. He sighed. He didn't know what he could say about that, because it pissed him off. Elliot didn't know that he would ever be able to think about what Kathy had done without being angry. He looked at Olivia. She was looking back at him, her eyes watery. Elliot was feeling a little bolder, and he leaned out, pressing his lips to Olivia's. He kissed her as deeply and as passionately as he could. Elliot wanted her to know that he loved her when he kissed her. He wanted to prove to her that he wasn't going to leave again. She didn't pull away. Elliot was glad. He just kissed her, but Olivia pushed him back against the couch, and straddled him. He gasped in surprise. He went with it, wrapping his arms around her waist. She shivered and put her arms around his neck. Elliot didn't know what he'd said to convince her, but he was glad it had worked. He was even more surprised when she stopped kissing him and pulled off his shirt. She ran her hands along his chest. It was strong, it always was. She let out a moan and kissed him again, as he slid his hand up the back of her shirt. She pressed against him, feeling his length hardening.
The sex was amazing, as they both always thought it would be. Elliot lay back on the bed, out of breath. She was, too. "Oh wow." Elliot said, and they both laughed. "Olivia, you know that I'm not going to leave you again, right?" He asked, setting his blue eyes on her.
Olivia looked back at him. Her eyes filled with tears. "El, you can't. I barely made it the last time. I can't do it again if you leave. This is forever." She meant it, more than anything before. "Are you okay with that?"
He kissed her. "I'm okay with that."
Author's note: Hope ya'll liked it! This is it. It ends here. XD. I had to fix things. Again, please don't give me any SVU info. I'm good.
