This is Stuck in Lodi here, with my very first Supernatural fanfic ever. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Since everything I really have to say is at the end, I'm just gonna get right to it!

But first-

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, but I think you're intelligent enough to realize that already, so yeah.

מַדְרִיך

Hebrew; Noun

One that is a guide, instructor, and teacher.

Chapter Summary:

"The rumor is, he talks to God."

In which Castiel is informed of Josuah's conversations with God.

Set in Season 5, between "My Bloody Valentine" and "Dark Side of the Moon".

Castiel closes his eyes, threading his fingers together as he breathes in deeply.

Earth was a place rich in sounds and smells that seemed to dull in the memories that people recollected in their heavens. Nothing smelled quite like the sea, felt quiet like the wind brushing up against his cheeks, or the soft melody of birds in the distance. That said, there was also nothing quite like the people that he had encountered on Earth in Heaven either. No angel could match a human's wit, a human's wonder, or a human's ability to persevere when dire circumstances ended up road blocking their paths.

Castiel admired that in particular.

He taps his foot, humming tunes that sounded nothing but discordant, while he closed his eyes.

The wind smells of daffodils and petrichor, both things that he enjoyed greatly, and Castiel sat, watching, waiting, and Castiel did his job, which was something that he hadn't the opportunity to do it a very long time. He had always been watching, waiting, observing how the universe spun in beautifully choreographed chaos according to his Father's Will, making comparisons of the mistakes that human's repeat over and over, observing their grief, their joy, their sorrow.

Castiel was a soldier, of course, but he was perhaps not like any of his Brothers and Sisters. Castiel was a Watcher. The others were Fighters, Castiel was one too, a Fighter that is, in his own right, but he was also a Watcher, and, perhaps due to the arrogant forgetfulness of his brethren, was overlooked as one of the few observers of the unraveling of cosmic events.

He knows they forget, thank Heaven they do, because Castiel enjoys being underestimated. He also knows while they had smited and destroyed in the earthly endeavors cited in the Old Testement and Tohran, he had looked down from Paradise and noted their wrath, their strengths, and their weaknesses from above. Castiel knows things, things the other know not about him, and he also knows that's what makes him so dangerous.

Funny enough, Castiel didn't feel very dangerous. He couldn't find God; and as Gabriel-Gabriel-had pointed out after his fun and games with the Winchesters, it was actually going quite terribly. It was demoralizing, even for Castiel, who was used to agonizing slow progress. He puts his head in his hands, and sighs, just slightly. After the brush with Famine, he's going searching again and...nothing.

There Castiel was, watching the ocean from a bench next to a boardwalk, somewhere in North Carolina. He slouches his shoulders forward, breathing in the salty brine hesitantly. He feels a touch at his shoulder, and the energy in the air builds into a tempestuous thrumming of electricity as he turns, his eyes widening as they fall upon the lithe figure of a young woman, tanned and dark, with piercing olive eyes and spiraling black hair.

"Hadraniel," He murmurs, breathless and awestruck by the imposing figure of two wings-wings that were black as night, and whose primary feathers slowing faded from grey to white in a stunning display of color-, stretched and fluffed as if to welcome a lost one home. These wings splayed across the entirety of sidewalk behind him, and above stood the form of a great looming pillar of light. "Hadraniel."

The girl smiles, her eyes flashing a bright, pupiless blue as she rounds the corner of the bench. She seats herself beside Castiel, her body shifted as to face him, eyebrows raised and enquisitive. Castiel feels his stomach churn, and his vessel's hair stand on end as she touches his arm, tiny bolts of lightning jutting up his spine as she quirks her lips into a half-smile.

"Qafsiel." She laughs, soft and sad as she sighs, speaking Hebrew as if it were as easy as breathing, and to her, it probably was. "Oh, Qafsiel, you go by many names in this millennium, therefore I must wonder by which you wish to be addressed, my brother."

Castiel recalls Hadraniel with great clarity.

Hadraniel and his great fear of Father, Hadraniel and his reluctantence of guiding Moses, Handraniel and his voice of twelve thousand flashes of lightning.

Hadraniel and his disappearing from the ranks of Heaven.

Hadraniel, who was thought to be dead, rogue, or worse-fallen.

"I have not answered to that name in many centuries. Castiel would be most prudent." He replies, in English.

"Indeed." Hadraniel murmurs back quietly, lips drawn thinly as she-he?-closes her-his?-eyes as if in pain. "Castiel, then." The angel laughs a brittle laugh, eyes opening as she-she, Castiel decided. It would make things run much smoother-ran a hand through her noir locks. "Castiel, you know of the Truth, I assume? Since you've come to this place, and you demonstrate your sorrow so?"

"The truth?" He questions, blue eyes wide as he white knuckles the burning amulet in one of the many folds and pockets of his tan trench coat.

She laughs, shaking her head. "The Truth, Castiel. The Truth which you have been seeking. The Truth which the...shall we say...overseers of Heaven, have insidiously, and quite cleverly, might I add, kept from you and the others for so long." She tucks her chin to her chest contemplatively, pulling a stray spiral of hair behind her ear. "You already know God's still alive Castiel, but since you have yet to see with your own eyes, you doubt. You have every reason to. I don't blame you, but your faithlessness is concerning, you understand?"

He could barely breathe, must less understand. There, before him, was one of the most legendary angels of all time, standing there, telling him God was alive, that God was somewhere, but couldn't be found. It was madness.

Madness.

Castiel forgets that Hadraniel is a creation of epic, legendary status, and perhaps that's why he's startled when she starts speaking, as if knowning his woes.

"Castiel, my brother, the world is positively insane at the moment, you and I, we both know this; I believe you should consider my message a, well, ah, a heaven sent, if you will." Hadraniel thrums her fingers against her thighs. "God wishes, Castiel, that you give up the search. I, on the other hand, believe you will find God, whether He wills it or not. If you would believe it, I'd tell you the two of us are very vocal about the matter, but He refuses to present Himself to you and your, uh, friends."

"God is close though, Hadraniel. If I could just-if you could just help me..."

"That is because, brother, if you would open your ears and remove the splits from your eyes, I am currently aware of our Father's whereabouts. Your talisman burns because the Grace of God is most certainly in and around my presence."

Hadraniel closes her eyes, pursing her lips worriedly as she tilted her head back.

"I cannot tell you were our Father is, He has forbidden it, but at the very least, I can point you to the direction of someone that might be willing to answer your questions. Granted, of course, that Father has shared what he has with me to this Brother of our's."

Castiel feels his lips turn up into a grimace, a sneer, and he looks away sharply, as if struck. "If Father does not wish to be found, why to you point me to another source? Why do you disobey him? Do you doubt as well? Tell me, Hadraniel, why? Why did he leave? Why does he do this?"

She chuckles bitterly, clenching her fists. "Castiel, you ask such pertinent questions. Questions that I have neither the knowledge nor authority to answer." She says, smiling ruefully, "Brother, you of all should know that God works in mysterious ways. If I didn't know any better, I would percieve you as Doubting Thomas himself." She stands, dusting dirt off her tailbone. "Castiel, I'd say that you almost sounded human."

The blue eyed angel stares at her, lips pressed thinly as he brings his clasps hands to the crevice between his bottom lip and chin. "Is that considered a grievance of sort? An insult, perhaps?"

Hadraniel laughs, clear and melodious, throwing her head back in her great amusement. "Oh, I believe it might be quite the opposite." She steps forward and cups his face affectionately, giving him a kiss on his brow before releasing him.

"Joshua, my Brother, will maybe be able to give you what you seek, or, at the very least, provide some much desired answers. I know that what you really want is an explanation, but I have none, and hopefully Joshua has been more favorable in Father's eyes."

"I cannot enter Heaven." Castiel informs laconically before feeling the need to elaborate. "I am an outcast, a rebel; how, how pray tell, am I to make contact with Joshua when I cannot take two solitary step before looking over my shoulder?"

The olive eyed angel clears her throat, gesturing at the pocket in which he had the amulet tucked away. "Those Winchesters, they have an uncanny ability of dying, don't you agree?"

Castiel's eyes widen, a fraction of an inch, and he lurches forward with surprise, becore his brow creases, and his lips turn up into a snarl of sorts. "No." He snaps, quick and blunt and angry. "No. The Winchesters will not be used as mediators. Not in Heaven. Not with Zachariah."

"Goodness, you misunderstand me-" Hadraniel cringes slightly, wrinkling her nose. "All I am saying is that those boy are destined to die; and died they have, and die they will again. Understand me when I say Castiel, the Winchesters will die, but their deaths, being impermanent, are somewhat of use, no?"

"No." He grunts, low and surly.

"You and your stubbornness of an ass. I must say that that particular quality has always perturbed me, but be it known that Father still cares for you, and for the others deeply, ass-like stubborness aside." Hadraniel paused, peering at him with soulful eyes. "The others, you realize, are unaware of the Truth. Castiel."

Castiel's features harden once more, his expression ridged and stoney before he queries, "And what do I do about the others exactly, Hadraniel? What do I tell them, should I be forced to take up arms against a member of the flock and they ask questions of my rebellion? What do you propose?"

Hadraniel spreads her hands, nodding her head forward.

"'Beloved, believe not every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God: because many false prophets have gone out into the world'."

Castiel tilts his head, taken a back. "Hadraniel, that does not answer my question-all you've done is spoken Scripture that is completely irrelevant to my question-"

"Ye of little faith!" She scolds, wagging a finger at him. "Is it not said to instruct the ignorant, Castiel? You must show them, the ignorant, that not all our Brethren are in compliance of Father's Will. I do believe it would be most wise to convey your discoveries. Perhaps even explain the situation that is really at hand."

"Brother, that is still-"

"-I am not your superior, Castiel, and I will not give you orders. What I give you is advice; whether you heed it or not is of your own decision."

"Hadraniel-"

"Enough has been said, and I must take my leave. Goodbye, Castiel. Godspeed my brother, Godspeed."

She disappears in flutter of wingsand a clap of thunder, the sky illuminating with strikes of lightning. Castiel observes the goosebumps on his skin as the shadow that had been cast upon the land from Hadraniel's immense stature vanished from sight.

Uh, so, since I just got into Supernatural recently, I decided to make up some one-shot, drabble sort of writing to see if I could find a place in the fandom. I thought this up while rewatching the series, and if some people like it enough to comment and follow and favorite and stuff like that, I think I might add some more effort into the idea.

Thanks for reading, and if you have the time, please drop in a review!

Until Next Time,

Stuck in Lodi