Warning: This is going to be a Yaoi fic and it will handle subjects like rape depression and self-harm.
This is my first fanfiction ever. I hope it's not ritten badly but English is not my language I'm dutch but I can't really share my stories with stories with a lot of people if I write in a language no one understands so there are going to be some grammar and spelling mistakes if you find some tell me so I can learn and edit them. That would be lovely!

some grammar and spelling you find some tell me so I can learn and edit them. That would be lovely!

Chapter 1: It's okay to cry

There was pain everywhere and his whole body was beaten and tired from all of his desperate attempts to voice was weak and his throat felt sore from screaming for hours. Gray had never felt so weak and humiliated in his life. How was he going to forget this? How was he going to live with what happened? And more importantly, how was he going to get out of this hotel room? He is so scared to open his eyes and official start his day after what happened last night but he wanted to get out of there he had no choice.

Slowly gray opened his dark blue eyes. The first thing he saw were empty bottles of beer. He tried to move his head around to see if he could find someone but surprisingly the room was empty. He was monster had disappeared and Hopefully forever. Gray tried to put his clothes on as soon as possible but his body was too weak to work with him. He could still feel the drugs they used on him in his system. After he finally got dressed he walked to the train station or at least he tried but his legs and his hips were in so much pain that it looked like he was crawling to the station. He hoped he arrived there in time to catch his train so he could finally go back home and forget that this ever happened.

Gray walked inside the guild so he could confirm that he finished

his mission. And he did actually finish the mission it was after that he found the missing girl and saved her that everything went wrong. Because he wanted to have a drink in a cafe before he left and he was stupid enough to fall for a trap and get drugged. Last night he tried to move and fight but it was useless the drugs made him weak and took away his magic he was helpless. If he was with Natsu yesterday then the flame-brain would have smelled it if someone put drugs in his drink and then and none of this would have happened. Gray tried to relax and not show how horrible he felt. "I found the girl and finished the job, " the raven haired mage said. "Good, Are you alright Gray you look pale?" Mira answered "Yes I'm fine. Just tired I had a pretty bad night". And that was true he wasn't actually lying. He was just leaving out a pretty important detail. "Ice princess! You ready for a fight? cause I'm all fired up!" Natsu yelled while he gave Gray a pat on the back. "Don't!.." Gray screamed. It took 10 seconds before gray realized that he was about to scream "Don't touch me" around the whole guild.

He was messed up dam it was just Natsu giving him an innocent pat on the back. Natsu looked shocked he didn't expect gray to react like that and even Gray didn't expect to react like that. The ice mage was shaking in fear. Natsu gave him a confused look "Gray? What was that?" "Nothing, You just shocked me and I'm tired". "But you screamed don't. What was that supposed to mean?" "I just didn't want to fight I'm tired flame-brain" the raven haired mage answered. And then Natsu smelled it the scent of sex drugs and blood. He smelled a man's scent on him too. Natsu could be dense but he wasn't stupid the total picture was there. Gray was raped.

Someone had put their hands on one of his teammates and his best friend and it was clearly against his will. Natsu could feel the rage in his body. "Well, I guess I'll go get some sleep," gray said while he tried to walk out of the guild. "Gray what's wrong with your legs and hips" gray turned around and saw Erza who gave him a concerned look "You're walking pretty strange" he tried the hide his face under his bags "I just got injured during my mission it's nothing" "Doesn't look like nothing." "Well, it is" gray yelled.

Natsu watched while Gray was trying to escape from Erza. He was furious the person who did this was not getting away with this. he couldn't even look at how gray was walking while knowing just how they injured him like that. He could imagine how scared and confused gray was right now but he had, to tell the truth. This could not stay a secret. "Gray stop lying and say the truth. This is fairy tail you can say anything without having to be ashamed" Natsu said "I'm not lying" "You are I can smell drugs, blood and someone's scent on you". Erza looked at Gray "what is he talking about? Natsu what do you mean?" " I'm saying that he was raped. and that I can smell it" Natsu replied softly so that only Erza and gray could hear it. Erza Looked horrified she couldn't believe what Natsu just said. She knew things like that happen but you never expect it to happen to those close to you.

"Gray is that true. Are you alright? " But gray didn't answer he couldn't answer he was shaking in fear. First, he was raped and then he was exposed. This was too much for him to handle. He needed it to stop he needed to get out of here. What was happening to him "Leave me alone This is none of your business." Gray screamed out while he ran away from the guild. He couldn't do it he needed to be alone. Ezra was ready to go after him but she was stopped by Natsu. "I'll go" Natsu ran out of the guild and chased after Gray. He hated this he always had this rivalry with Gray so that he could hide his true feelings. but now the one he loved was in a lot of pain and didn't even share it because of their rivalry. "Gray please be Oke"

It was near the river that he finally found him he was sitting on the ground if you saw him it looked like he was staring at the river but if you looked close enough you could see that he wasn't looking at anything. He was lost in his own mind and his expression was lifeless. If it Nasu didn't have his great hearing and couldn't hear his pulse right now he would think he was dead. Carefully he sat down beside him."I'm sorry for saying it like that, But I couldn't just watch any longer while knowing the truth."

Gray looked Natsu in the eye he could see the fear in his eyes and Gray clearly didn't know what to answer" "It's going to be okay. You're strong and you'll find a way to get through this." "Thanks, Natsu but I can't talk about this. I hardly know what to think of myself anymore. So just leave me alone." Natsu looked the Ice mage in the eye again and noticed the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. "I'm not leaving you like this ice princess."

"Leave Natsu please just go, I'm okay" "Gray..." Natsu said while he looked at the ice mage with a worried expression. "Leave. I don't need you to watch here while I'm crying like a little kid!" gray scream in the hope that Natsu would give up and go. He always liked the Idiot as more than a friend and hated it that he saw him like this. He wanted Natsu to see him as someone strong enough to fight beside him. He knew that there would never be more but the last thing he wanted was for Natsu to look down on him. But Natsu didn't leave he stayed and hugged gray tightly.

"It's okay to cry. It doesn't make you weak." gray didn't answer but he hugged Natsu back while the tears in his kept on falling. "It"s okay don't hold back" Natsu whispered. And gray listened he cried and screamed in Natsu's arms until everything was out. That moment he felt so broken and see good at the same time The dragon slayers arms felt so safe. He always wanted to be in Natsu's arms like that but at the same time, he was completely broken.

Two months later things were getting back to normal. Only Erza and Natsu knew what had happened and after a while, they stopped thinking about it. Erza wanted to talk to him about it the first weeks after but he said that he was fine and after giving a couple of worried looks she started believing him. After what happened at the river it felt a little weird to be around Natsu at the beginning but that's also over now. They pretended like nothing had happened. But the truth was Gray wasn't okay yet. He needed more time to heal. What happened to him would always leave a scar on his heart and he could live with that. But right now its was still and open wound and sometimes hiding an open wound can cause infections.