Damaged

by rawker-demyx

After a traumatic incident, David Parrish has transferred to SGA-5 to distance himself from Lorne. An attack during a mission leaves Parrish unconscious and allows him to relive the memories that lead to his and Lorne's estrangement. Contains non-con!

Title: Damaged

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Lorne/Parrish

Warnings: Non-con, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst

Disclaimer: I don't have anything to do with the Stargate franchise and I'm not making any money off of this. This is just for recreation. All credit goes to the geniuses at MGM and Bridge Studios.

Author's Note: Don't worry! You didn't miss another story or something. Just read and all will become apparent. I'm expecting about four chapters on this one, so it should be done fairly quickly. However, please bear with me because I'm moving across several states in a few days, so internet access may be spotty until I get settled in my new place.

*****

David Parrish checked over his gear and made sure he had everything he needed before stepping through the stargate on his way to M4X-192. He not only looked over his science gear, making sure that sample containers were secure and electronic equipment such as the Ancient scanner were properly stowed, but also combat and survival gear were all accounted for and easily accessible in an emergency. The Pegasus galaxy had taught him that even innocuous seeming situations can turn into deadly nightmares faster than one would imagine.

All seven chevrons along the edge of the stargate finally glowed blue to indicate that the coordinates to the distant world had been input into the DHD. The subspace wormhole erupted into life, the space in the center of the naquadah ring shining with blue-white light as the Ancient shield suppressed the puddle's usual kawoosh. David sighed and looked down at his shoes, his mind surprisingly calm before a mission, but nagging feelings plaguing him just at the edges of conscious thought.

"SGA-5, you have a go. Scheduled check-in in two hours," Chuck's voice said through the radio.

The ideas floating around the periphery of his mind suddenly grew in intensity as David heard the technician address him and the group of people with whom he was standing with the foreign sounding team designation. He tried to quell the memories of how he found himself standing with a group of almost-strangers preparing to step onto another world, but he knew he would relive it all in his dreams that night.

The shield dropped and the event horizon shimmered and rippled in front of them. David, unlike most of the other Expedition members, never had a problem with stargate travel from the very beginning. After reading all of the reports and technical documents sent to him from the SGC when he signed his non-disclosure agreement, he had decided than any civilization intelligent enough to build devices like the stargates and use them in a network for intergalactic travel in addition to ships which traveled thousands of times the speed of light must have known what they were doing. But now as he stared at the edge of the passage through the stars, he felt wary about the sense of nothingness that pervaded one's being just beyond the illusion of water. That sensation of oblivion felt like a loss of control to him and, while he normally welcomed the feeling of letting go and being whisked away, deep down he was not sure he was ready after what happened to him.

Glancing around the Gate Room, he tried to look anywhere except the stargate and the impending journey through the wormhole. David regretted almost immediately, though, as he spotted the man standing in the Control Room. Major Evan Lorne was standing next to Richard Woolsey, one of his hands resting on the back of Chuck's chair as he stared coldly straight at David. Their eyes locked for a moment, the military officer's light-blue orbs staring straight into his own green ones. For a moment, it felt like it was just the two of them in the entire city, and while they gazed at each other intently, David thought he could almost hear the silent accusation in Lorne's stare: you are running away.

"Hey, Doc," Corporal Erickson was saying, her hand weighing heavily on his shoulder. "Let's go."

He repressed the feelings that were running through him at the sight of Lorne, something for which he was sure the psychologist he had been seeing for the past month would stare him down and say how disappointed she was in him, and then took a deep breath before nodding at the slightly shorter blonde woman and turning with her to plunge himself into the puddle. He suddenly changed his opinion of the device looming in front of him as he welcomed the sweet release from reality that the trip through the stargate promised if only it meant that he would be blissfully ignorant of that cold stare, and for a few moments his world was nothing but emptiness.

Sunlight seared his eyes, streaming into his consciousness as he stepped onto the alien world. He could hear the wormhole disengage behind him and he was vaguely aware of his new teammates starting to stroll towards the copse a short walk in front of them. He tried to ignore the knowledge that SGA-2 had been here a week before on a scouting mission before deeming the world safe and uninhabited, then suggesting that SGA-5, with its newly acquired botanical expertise, be sent for a follow-up to investigate the copious vegetation. Memories of his former team threatened him for a moment, but he instead focused on the task at hand and trudged behind his new group in the direction of the trees.

No matter how many times he reminded himself that this was just a mission like any other, David could not help but feel off kilter with the members of SGA-5. It was nothing personal he had against them, he had heard wonderful things about their team actually, but it still would take time for him to acclimate. He decided to instead just focus on the task at hand and, when he got back home to Atlantis, maybe he would take the time to get to know his new teammates better. He was sure that if he learned more about each of them, then he would start to feel more comfortable around them off world.

"Parrish," Lieutenant Kelsey was saying, "I'm going to take Erickson to patrol the area. You keep the sergeant here just in case while you do your survey."

David kept his voice even when he nodded and answered, "Yes, sir."

Kelsey gave him a disparaging look when he told him, "Look, Doc, you're not military. You don't have to call me 'sir.'" He paused and then grinned, "Hell, Erickson usually just calls me the pain in her ass that frequently gets us into trouble."

"You know I mean it with all due respect, Lieutenant Ass Pain" she quipped, winking at David while she did so.

Kelsey just shook his head and lifted his P-90 to cradle in both hands. "Come on, Erickson. Let's stop bothering the good doctor so he can get to work. The sooner he's finished, the sooner you can get back to whatever the Hell it is you do in your quarters."

"That would be cleaning my gun," she replied as she hoisted her own weapon and proceeded to follow her commanding officer into the thick brush. The last David saw of the two of them was Erickson's blonde hair disappearing behind a cluster of leafy branches.

"Guess it's just you and me," he told Sergeant Woods while giving him a sheepish grin over his shoulder. The only response he got in return was a blank stare and he thought he might have heard a grunt as well. "Okay, I'm just going to get to work." And there was another maybe-grunt in reply.

He took out the Ancient scanner out of his pack and activated it while carefully placing the backpack on the ground. McKay had recently revealed the existence of the device after intense testing and investigation and he was actually very grateful for such a useful tool in the field. It had the ability to interface with the database and extract relevant information on a particular subject, then store the information in memory to cross-reference while taking readings. David began scanning the plants in the nearby area and allowed the device to identify them and display the known information on the screen while he looked for any interesting morphological features in the flora. He occasionally paused in his work to collect samples of plants that had interesting characteristics in the database such as one anesthetic and one or two exotic spices.

"Sergeant! Look at this!" He called out. For a moment, he felt like his old self again and momentarily forgot just how stoic and uninterested his escort was in his work. "Sorry," he mumbled, "it's just that this plant does not match anything in the Ancient database. Some seeds were probably accidentally transported here through the stargate, but even still it came from somewhere else in Pegasus and the Ancients didn't know about it," he rambled. He was only half speaking to the military man at this point, most of what he said just him voicing his thoughts out loud. "I'm going to need to collect a larger sample to take back to Atlantis."

Woods spoke up at that point, "Are you sure that's a good idea, Doc?" David looked up at him from his discovery and the man continued, "I mean, it's not in the database, so who knows what it could do."

David was thoughtful for a moment while he considered all the possibilities. He recalled the incident he had read about just after they had re-established communication with Earth when the SGC had been overrun by an alien plant that exhibited hyper-growth when any part of it was exposed to visible light. "I don't think there's much chance of something bad happening," he decided. "Atlantis has a lot of built-in safeguards to protect itself and the population from dangerous organisms and, besides, the scanner doesn't seem to indicate there's anything suspicious about it." The man looked at him skeptically, so he assured him, "We'll radio Atlantis and notify Woolsey first to see if he thinks it's worth the risk before we bring it back."

"I feel much better already," Woods deadpanned. David turned back to his discovery when he saw the man start to reach for his radio. "Kelsey, this is Woods, come in," he could hear the sergeant saying. "Yeah, Parrish has collected several samples to bring back for Keller and a few others, but he says he's found a mystery plant. He wants to radio Atlantis to get permission to bring it back to analyze." He paused for a moment and David knew Kelsey must have been giving Woods his opinion on the matter. "No, sir, he doesn't think it's dangerous. I think we should be cautious, though." Another pause. "Yes, sir. Woods out." David looked up at him expectantly until he said, "He agreed that we should contact the city and if they think it's safe, then we'll bring it back."

"Okay," Parrish agreed. "First I'll need to do a cursory examination to evaluated the root system before I try to remove it." Woods did not really look interested in his plan for removing the specimen, so David simply shrugged before turning back around to his discovery and getting to work.

After several minutes, Parrish called behind him, "Sergeant? Can you hand me my pack?" He added as an afterthought, "Be careful with it please, there's fragile equipment in it." When neither heard a response nor saw his backpack appear beside him, he turned to face the man asking, "Sergeant? Did you hear—" Woods was holding up his hand to silence him while he peered into a particularly thick area of trees. He had his P-90 raised in a ready position and a look of concentration on his face as if he were listening intently for something. Parrish knew from his experience on SGA-2 that it was not a good idea to say anything to the man, but he did think that if Woods thought there was something out there, then they should probably notify Kelsey and Erickson.

Something moving in the corner of his eye caught David's attention and he whipped around to see whatever it was that was lurking in the trees. It was hard to tell due to the density of the trees and undergrowth, but he did not think anything was there. Normally, Parrish was not particularly jumpy, but he thought maybe recent events were influencing his state of mind. At least, that was probably was his psychologist would tell him. "Woods," he whispered earning himself a glare from the soldier, but he did not care at the moment. "There was something over there," he said, pointing to indicate the now seemingly vacant area of trees.

Woods nodded towards him and David saw him reach up to tap his radio in he ear, his weapon still at the ready for any potential attack. "Kelsey, this is Woods, come in." He paused to wait for a response, but none must have been forthcoming since he repeated, "Woods to Kelsey. Sir, can you—"

Static erupted in David's ear as his radio came to life and he soon heard the staccato sound of gunfire before Kelsey's voice was shouting at him, "Both of you, fall back to the gate!" There was the sound of several seconds of sustained gunfire before Parrish heard Kelsey yelling, presumably to Erickson, "Here comes another dart!" David gave woods a pointed look at the mention of a Wraith dart while heard Kelsey saying, "Erickson, take—," but the radio chose that exact moment to go silent.

"Come on, Doc," Woods said, "we have to get out of here." He saw the soldier grabbing his pack off the ground and before tossing it to him while glancing around the edges of the clearing looking for any Wraiths. David knew that what they had seen must have been Shadows, so there must be some Wraiths nearby.

After shouldering his pack, David took out his handgun and held it at the ready just in case. He may be prepared to defend himself and had been trained to fight, but he always hoped that he would never be forced to actually use his skills with a weapon. Unfortunately, in Pegasus, it seemed necessary to call on those skills more often that not. He heard Woods say, "Let's move out," and he crouched low to follow stealthily behind the other man.

They had not walked far from the stargate when they arrived on the planet, so it would not take them very long to make it back, but David was concerned about what they would find when they got there. From his time on SGA-2, he knew it was common practice for the Wraith to dial-in to a world they were culling so their prey could not escape, but this world was also uninhabited so he could not imagine why the Wraith were attacking, let alone what their plan of attack would involve.

David could hear the dry dead leaves and twigs crunching under his feet as walked quickly through the thinning population of trees. He could make out the edge of the forest they were in just ahead of them which made him somewhat nervous. While the wooded area was bad for combat and running from an attacker, it did afford a level of visual cover from both ground troops and Wraith transporters. However, once in the open, they could break into a dead run for the stargate and hopefully meet up with Kelsey and Erickson on the way, assuming they were both still alive and not being stored as a snack for later.

As Woods approached the edge of the trees, he gave David the motion to crouch low to the ground while he moved forward to survey the area for any enemies. He watched as the soldier kept his P-90 raised and assessed their chances of getting to the stargate when he thought he heard a sound behind him. It was almost quiet enough that David might have thought it was the wind, but his time in Atlantis had taught him not to dismiss things so easily. It was suddenly so quiet that David swore he could hear his own heart beating as lifted his gun and turned around.

A Wraith soldier was standing within arm's reach of him while a masked Wraith drone stood a little further back, a stunner rifle at the ready propped against his shoulder. His instincts taking over, David tried to aim his gun as best as he could, but he only managed to squeeze the trigger once and catch the soldier in the shoulder before the weapon was wrenched from his hand and thrown into the brush. He tried to scream for help, but the soldier's hand reached out for his throat and silenced him by squeezing until David's windpipe stung. The most that David could hope for was that Woods had heard his single gunshot and come to his aid, but he feared that the Wraith standing in front of him would feed on him before that could happen.

He looked into what he thought was the face of Death and studied it closely: the slightly gray sharp fangs bared in a lewd interpretation of a smile, the slit-shaped eyes staring at him hungrily, the bluish-gray skin stretched tight across the alien face, and the long, straight white hair hanging loosely around the creature's shoulders. He knew that it was only due to a miracle that he did not get fed upon right then and there. Unfortunately for his already damaged psyche, it was the miracle that saved him that led to the death of Sergeant Woods.

David could hear the doomed man came running up behind him, his breath coming out in pants, and the botanist knew he had his weapon raised to attack the Wraiths, but he could not get a clear shot with David held up in front of the soldier and the drone mostly shielded by the two of them. He saw the soldier holding him turn his head to look at the drone and David knew they must have been silently communicating using the telepathy the Wraith possessed, the soldier giving the drone silent instructions in a plan of attack.

Parrish could see the drone spring into action, rushing towards them and, just he was about to pass the two of them, the soldier pulled David even closer until he could smell the Wraith's putrid breath and then the creature kneed him in the ribs. He could hear at least one of the bones crack from the force and tears welled up in his eyes, the scream of pain trapped in his throat by the hand closed around it, while the Wraith swung him by the neck and threw him against the nearest tree. The air that had been trapped in his lungs rushed out at the impact and his vision became hazy and blackened around the edges after his head knocked against the hard trunk of the tree. When he fell to the ground at the base of the tree, he felt something in his arm snap painfully and knew it was broken as well.

He could hear a spray of bullets from Woods' P-90, but he knew that there was no possible way he could take down both the drone and the soldier. The soldier must have known that too and had sacrificed the lower-ranking drone in a suicide attack to give itself an advantage during the short-lived battle. As his vision cleared, he could see the drone falling to its knees, then landing facedown on the ground in front of Woods while the soldier held up the stunner rifle that the dead alien must have passed him after Parrish had been forcefully thrown into the tree. Two successive blasts slammed into Woods' chest and David could just make out the look of surprise on his face before he too fell to the ground to lie next to the dead drone.

While the Wraith generally preferred their food to be lively, even struggle a little bit while they indulged in the feeling of superiority, Parrish also knew that they were not above feeding on stunned prey out of necessity. The soldier knelt on the ground next to Woods and David could not help but crush his eyelids together and not watch the horrifying scene before him. A distant part of his mind thought that maybe he should watch out of some kind of twisted respect for the sergeant's last moment on this mortal coil, but he could not bring himself to witness what was surely about to happen to him as well.

He knew that the feeding process was painful and had heard from others who had seen it happen first-hand that the victim would normally scream, but Woods had been robbed of that ability when he had been stunned. Parrish figured that Woods was lucky, if you could call it that, that he was at least unconscious while he was being fed upon and instead of dying slowly while the life was literally sucked from his body and he stared into the face of his murderer, the last thing he remembered was being stunned and he would simply not wake up. David had the feeling he would not be so lucky.

When the disturbing sounds the Wraith was making while it fed ceased, David knew that his teammate was dead. He averted his eyes from the corpse on the ground, not wanting to see the sunken in, paper thin cheeks, hair that had become thin and white, and other appearances of old age that Wraith victims had. David could hear the alien walking towards him, its boots crunching in the same leaves and twigs he had been walking through earlier, and he silently wished that the whole thing would be over quickly. Something impelled him to open his eyes at the last moment, to see the Wraith kneeling besides him on the ground where he slumped against the tree, and he tried with all of his self-control to suppress the look of surprise on his face to give her a fighting chance.

Alyssa Erickson was standing behind the Wraith, a knife carefully held in her hand, as she reached around the alien and slit its throat open from ear to ear. David shut his eyes again, the blood pouring from the Wraith's opened neck nauseating him, while he scrambled to the side to get away from the dying creature. His ribs screamed in protest when he tried to move and a real scream flew from his mouth and he clutched his chest to support the broken bones. He felt light-headed from his head injury and from the pain in his chest, but he somehow pulled himself far enough away to avoid being crushed under the weight of the alien as it fell forward lifelessly against the very same tree trunk. He looked back at its body and saw the same knife that had been used to cut its throat sticking up from the back of its neck, the blade embedded in the alien vampire's spine.

"Can you stand?" Corporal Erickson was asking him, a sense of urgency in her voice. At his confused look, she asked, "Doc?"

"I—," he started, but cut himself off. He tried to take a mental inventory of his body and shook his head; his vision becoming skewed for a moment as a result and he decided not to do that again. "I don't think I can by myself."

"Right, here," she said as she knelt next to him and maneuvered her shoulder under his arm to support his weight. "Hold on to me, alright?"

He groaned as his ribs protested against the upward movement, but he knew he had to try because if they did not get to the stargate quickly, then they were both dead. "Where's Kelsey?" he asked.

"A dart got him," she replied tersely, the look in her eyes telling him not to press the issue because she obviously did not want to think about it. She urged him, "Come on," before she started moving them both forward with David's weight hampering their progress. "I got a look at the gate before I heard Woods' gunfire. It's not protected," she said. When David did not reply, she elaborated, "I don't think they came through it. There must be a cruiser or a hive ship in orbit. Maybe they were scouting for a new base." She paused again. "Just our fucking luck to run into them on a deserted planet…"

As they were making their way across the grassy, open area, David limping while the corporal supported him, he said, "I'm sorry," but he stopped when he saw Erickson shaking her head.

"No reason to be," she told him. "We need to hurry, though. Can you move any faster?"

"I can try," was all he said. The stargate was coming into view and, while the safety of Atlantis was only literally footsteps away, he knew that anything could happen in the next few seconds.

Almost on cue, the telltale whining sound of a Wraith dart's engine screamed overhead and Erickson's instinct for survival seemed to take over. While it caused David intense pain, he reasoned it was better than the alternative so he only bit his lip while Alyssa practically started dragging him towards the gate. He felt a searing pain rise up in his left ankle and while he felt like he was about to pain pass out from the symphony of agony from every damaged part of his body, he could hear the sound of the stargate being dialed and then the soft beeps of Erickson pressing the buttons on her GDO to signal Atlantis about their emergency return.

As his teammate pulled them both towards the suddenly active stargate, he thought he could hear the sound of a Wraith transporter beam somewhere nearby. Part of him was afraid that they had gotten so close to getting home only to be taken at the last second. Another part feared that if they were taken, the dart could use the active wormhole to fly straight into the Gate Room in Atlantis, and he did not want to imagine the havoc that it could wreak there. When the feeling of nothingness took over him, he could not be sure if it was because he had been transported into the storage buffer on the dart or if he was being sped home.

*****