Apples and iDiots.
A/N~ Short, not so sweet, where have I been, I start school in August. Worked a lot. So much shit. Baaaaaah…!
Summary:
30 reasons why smartphones are Smartasses.
OR.
The Toa and co. get smartphone for the first time and this is the result of their texting their colleagues. Nuju is on the floor, unconscious from laughing so hard, Vakama's forehead is forever red with his face-palms, Nokama threw her phone in the ocean, Onewa is being submitted to an asylum because his Matoran were concerned with all his cackling, Matau is dead, and Matoro is So Done With Everyone. And the Nuva are just…well, their usual selves.
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GroundPounder25 (Whenua) started texting LittleBird16 (Matoro)…
GroundPounder25: Matoro can you give me a ring? My penis is stuck. Stuck in the muck. Stuck in the butt. WHAT THE DUCK?!
LittleBird16: I NEED AN ADULT.
BigBird24 (Nuju) started texting AquaGal2 (Nokama)…
BigBird24: Are you doing Swan Lake this year?
AquaGal22: Yep! I'm auctioning kids tomorrow. Suctioning kids. Ridiculous auto cat rectal. Birdseed! I A KIDS FORPLAY.
BigBird24: Wow I am sorry I asked.
BigBird24 (Nuju) started emailing GroundPounder25 (Whenua) via iPhone…
BigBird24: so we got another project together?
GroundPounder25: yep. It's on euthanasia.
BigBird24: wow, that's dark…
GroundPounder25: DAMMIT! Youth and geisha. FICK! Youth Aphasia. STUFF IT ALL. A
BigBird24: You're a ducking apple. Apple. A P E.
GroundPounder24: yeah duck you too.
FrostyBite18 (Kopaka) started texting BigBird24 (Nuju)…
FrostyBite18: Nuju have you seen my resume notes?
BigBird24: They're in anus crapper. Anus crapper. ANUS CRAPPER.
FrostyBite18: Uh...
BigBird24: DAMN IT TO DUCKING HALL THE ANUS.
FrostyBite18: Oh god...
BigBird24: Mata-ducking-nui in th E.
FrostyBite18: Wow okay I will search the anus crapper.
DessertRunner18 (Pohatu) started texting FrostyBite18 (Kopaka)…
DessertRunner18: hey Kopaka do you think it's better to draw with a pen or a penis? Penis not penis. Pics of ship phone I meant pencil. DUCKING AUTOCORRECT price of shit. I give up.
FrostyBite18: I think they're both kinky.
BurntToast19 (Tahu) started texting FrostyBite18 (Kopaka)…
BurntToast19: Kopaka what the duck was up with you today?
FrostyBite18: Duck?
BurntToast19: I mean duck. Duck. DUCK. DUCK! DUCK! DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK
FrostyBite18: Goose.
BurntToast19: DUCKING PHONE!
CaveCrawler19 (Onua) started texting SurferGurl17 (Gali)…
CaveCrawler19: Hey what are you up to?
SurferGurl17: Just finished masturbating. It makes me feel so relaxed so I can sleep easier.
CaveCrawler19: Awkward...
SurferGurl17: Shit I meant menstruating.
CaveCrawler19: Not any less awkward.
SurferGurl17: OMFG I wa G! What is wrong with this phone?!
LittleBird16 (Matoro) started emailing DirtDigger16 (Nuparu) via iPhone…
Matoro: Want to come over?
Nuparu: can't - my penis are homeless. *HOME. *PARENTS. Stupid auto-scrotum. I mean auburn cockrocket. DUCK MY LIFESAVER I'M JUST CALLING YOU.
Matoro: Please don't…
LittleBird16 (Matoro) started texting All Contacts…
LittleBird16: Do you people just NOT look over your texts before sending them? What the hell is wrong with you?
Nuju: Matoro, get off the phallus. Phallus. Phallus. PHALLUS. GOOD DUCKING SHEEP DUCK SHEEP SKITTLES DAMN IT TO DUCKING HALL.
LittleBird16 (Matoro) has BLOCKED BigBird24 (Nuju)…
To be continued…?
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A/N~ Know any embarrassing/disturbing/freaky/WTF autocorrects? Send them in and I might make this a two-shot!
~M~