"No Son of Mine" by Genesis

True Story: I heard this song all my life and one day I was listening to it on a CD while I was in the shower and this idea suddenly came to me. Its a perfect song to do a fanfic on.

Summary: Song fic; based on an idea of what Dib's earlier childhood was like before the present show. One-shot. Better than it sounds.

A/N: During the show I picture him as being 10 or 12. In my story he's about 8. Don't forget about the detail of him being a 'genius baby' from the show. So he's smart for a typical 8 year old, okay? As for the Membrane fans out there, I'm sorry if you dislike how I am characterizing him. I have nothing against Membrane whatsoever. He's got to be the coolest, famous cartoon scientist evah, but for my favorite character Dib's sake he is mean in this. I apologize again. Read anyway! You may like it. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim like many others; belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.

No Son of Mine

For as long as I could remember, I have struggled to make them see. Not just the public but my own family. Family...if that's what you want to call it now. But we weren't always like this. Mom was still in the picture and life was good.

Life in my family when I was young was how it should be. Dad worked, me and Gaz went to skool, and Mom stayed home and took care of us. Perfect. Everyone always seemed to be in a good mood, well... except for Gaz, but she has always been the tough, mean one.

Well the key to my survival
was never in much doubt
the question was how I could keep sane
trying to find a way out

I loved my Mom. She taught me everything I know, outside of skool and the typical book work. She introduced me to the various paranormal subjects that I am interested in now. She told me one of her favorites were ghosts. That's why I proved the existence of ghosts first after Zim in that fake life simulation; too bad it wasn't real. Mom would have been ecstatic.

Dad, on the other hand, never would partake in most of the activities me and my Mom did. She would ask him why and his only excuse would be that he was too busy. I was young, but I was old enough to tell that was a lie. Oh-well, it was more fun without Dad. He insisted I strive to not just do my best but to be the best and only best. Mom just wanted me to have fun and be a kid while I could. I often would get confused so I ignored my Dad's mighty words of 'wisdom'.

Things were never easy for me
peace of mind was hard to find
and I needed a place where I could hide
somewhere I could call mine

One day Dad came home in a fuss. Apparently something very wrong went down at work. I was too young to understand. As we ate dinner, all he did was mutter odd things to himself. I was taking a bite of my food when my Mom placed her hand over my father's trying to show compassion. He just swatted it away, grabbed his plate, and retreated to his lab downstairs. I didn't recall him ever doing that before then. Mom pushed that out of her mind and told me and Gaz to finish our dinner while she goes to check on daddy. I automatically nodded at the same time I was drinking from my glass so I dumped some of it all over me. Gaz just smirked and snickered at me. I glared at her and grabbed a couple napkins to dab myself dry.

"Gaz, do you know what's up with dad?"

"Hmpf. How should I know?"

It wasn't until later did we hear a commotion downstairs. Gaz and I peered at each other from across the table; looking for an answer. We didn't find one, we heard one.

"...Why do you persist on filling my son's head with foolishness!? There are no such things as aliens, ghosts, bigfoot, the loch ness monster, la chupacabra, and what ever god knows what people are making up to fascinate the imagination!..." Dad's voice carried on and on.

"...But Honey, what about what he wants for himself? He's only a- " She didn't have time to finish before another loud noise echoed, that silenced her. I was scared. This doesn't happen. They've argued in the past, but this was beyond compare. Gaz was silently heading upstairs to her bedroom. I hesitantly stayed where I was until I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. I jumped up from my seat and ran to join Gaz. She shut her door before I got there and had I no choice but to hide in my own room alone. I hate that word; alone. I remained in my room for the rest of the night. It was too quiet.



I didn't think much about it
til it started happening all the time
soon I was living with the fear everyday
of what might happen that night

Since then, Dad and Mom never stayed in the same room together. Luckily for Mom though, Dad decided to work more often. Another habit Dad picked up was drinking. There would be empty bottles lying everywhere and he didn't care. He seemed to have lost it after he and Mom fought. Must have felt terrible. More so angry at himself than her or me.

I was woken up one night to the sounds of arguing again. It was brief. Next thing I know, my Mom comes into my room and crawls into my bed. She brought her own pillow and an extra blanket from the closet. I didn't mind. It was kind of like a sleepover. I was waiting for her to tell me another one of her scary ghost stories. Nothing. Disappointed I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but failed. My Mom's back was facing me but I knew I heard whimpering of some sort. Knowing she would just tell me to go to sleep and not to worry I didn't ask. I made a decision any unrealistic child would do. I waited for Mom to fall asleep and I crawled out of bed, snatching my glasses from my nightstand as I went by. I reached for my backpack and emptied it of all my school supplies. Instead I filled it with things like clothes, my toothbrush, and one of my favorite Crop Circles Magazines.

I couldn't stand to hear the
crying of my mother
and I remember when
I swore that, that would be the
Last they'd see of me
And I never went home again

I put on my favorite outfit, thinking this was it, and coat, slung my backpack on and grabbed my sleeping bag. I never used it so it was practically brand new. I walked to the door, but stopped. I forgot something. I walk back to the side of my bed and checked my Mother's peaceful face. She looked relaxed and relieved for the first time this month. I pulled my blanket over her more, kissed her forehead like she would mine, and said "Goodbye, Mom. I love you."

I was gone for a week or two.



they say that time is a healer
and now my wounds are not the same
I rang the bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he'd say

At some point I realized how stupid I was for running away like that, and returned home. Dad was there to answer the door when I knocked. He gave me a look that made me want to turn and run; just to forget coming back. Instead he said sternly,

"We need to talk."

Later I found out Mom left, too.

He sat me down to talk to me
he looked me straight in the eyes

he said:

You're no son, you're no son of mine
You're no son, you're no son of mine
You walked out, you left us behind
and you're no son, no son of mine

oh, his words how they hurt me, I'll never forget it
and as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it

When he permitted me to move on, I ran to the only place I thought safe in the house. My room. I collapsed on my bed in frustration and sadness. Mom left nothing behind for me. No reason or clue for me to find her. I was so upset with my Mother leaving me here with Dad. I mean, what about Gaz? Dad's words hit the last speck of hope after I discovered Mom left and wasn't coming back. I cried into my pillow about how I wanted her to come back and squeezed it tight in my grip. That's when I noticed something under the pillow. I unfolded it. A note only for me was hidden underneath my pillow. It read:

Dib,

I don't want you to be angry at me, but as you might have known by now, I had to leave. Things were getting out of hand. You probably don't understand this now, but you will when you're older. I just wanted you to know that I love you and no matter what you will always be my son. Never forget that you hear me! You go on and live your own life and do what it is you believe in. Either way, I will be proud of you. Hope to see you again.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Thanks for the blanket and kiss. xoxo


You're no son, you're no son of mine
but where should I go,
and what should I do
you're no son, you're no son of mine
but I came here for help, oh I came here for you

I refused to believe that my Mom was gone. I would avoid my Father completely just so I could run around the place in the big city trying to find her. I never found her...but I didn't give up.

I never gave up on trying to find her or quit my interest in my 'para'science...

...no matter what Dad said.


Well the years they passed so slowly
I thought about him everyday
what would I do, if we passed on the street
would I keep running away

My desire to find Mom took over me for some time. It eventually escalated into a problem. I would cause disruptions and annoy people to the point the called the cops on me...and was forced to return home and stay there.


in and out of hiding places
soon I'd have to face the facts
we'd have to sit down and talk it over
and that would mean going back

they say that time is a healer
and now my wounds are not the same
I rang that bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what he'd say

The cops brought me home for the third time that week.

"If your boy ever wanted to, he could lead a rally. I swear it." the one cop explained.

"Thank you again officers. I promise it won't happen again." Membrane assured them.

"That's what you said last time, sir."

"Right."

"Well, he's your boy again. Good day." with that the cops left the premises. I grumbled and and was about to head upstairs like usual when my Father stopped me. He warned me if this were to happen again.


He sat me down to talk to me
he looked me straight in the eyes

he said:

You're no son, you're no son of mine
You're no son, you're no son of mine
When you walked out, you left us behind
and you're no son, you're no son of mine

I finally had enough.

"I may not 'be your son' anymore. But I will alwaysbe Mom's son!" I shouted as loud as I could to his face. I wanted him to hear me loud and clear. Gaz, shocked, stared between both of us. She had to be as surprised as Dad by this outburst.


oh, his words how they hurt me, I'll never forget it
and as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it

As the years rolled by so did me and my Dad's relationship. We grew further apart then previously. He continued to work long hours and shifts, but whenever I needed him, he would try to fulfill that need. It worked out fine. I just ignore his usual remarks on real science vs. my 'para'science. But I will never forget the battle between me and him. It won't ever be the same as the struggles I fight to win now.

I miss you Mom.


You're no son, you're no son of mine
But where should I go and what should I do
You're no son, you're no son of mine
But I came here for help, oh I was looking for you
You're no son, you're no son of mine - oh
You're no son - ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah
You're no son, you're no son of mine - oh, oh...