Disclaimer: I own nothing, GRRM is god, yadda, yadda, yadda.
The Stark children were huddled together in their basement in Winterfell. They had been there for hours, wasting time, enjoying each other's company. It was the one room Catelyn Stark dared not touch. She hated the disarray, but couldn't deny her children the comfort of a space all their own. On the walls were an assortment of posters and knick knacks the Stark children had collected over the years. Each of them had tacked something up at some point or another. There was a mini-fridge in one corner, a broken juke box that Bran swore he would fix one day in another. There was nothing but a small space heater to keep the chills away during winter, and it was unbearably warm and humid in the summer. The air was dank and reeked of teenagers and junk food. Jon, Bran and Arya were embedded in the basement couch, each with a laptop perched on bended knees. They were playing World of Warcraft, though they had all played through the game more times than they could count. Robb was chatting with his girlfriend of the moment, and Rickon was viciously crashing toy cars together.
"ARYA! Arya Stark where in seven hells are you?!" Sansa's screech echoed through the halls of Winterfell.
"She sounds pissed!" Bran's glee was obvious. Fighting with each other was one of the most entertaining things his sisters did.
"What did you do this time little sister?" Jon tried to sound disapproving, but his amusement was obvious in the twinkle of his dark grey eyes.
"How the bloody hell should I know? She's always mad at me for one reason or another." Arya grinned at them, mischief dancing in her eyes. She knew exactly what Sansa was yelling for, and was looking forward to every second of what was to come.
Sansa burst into the room, her long auburn hair swirling about her. She looked perfectly coifed as always in dark blue skinny jeans and an orange crochet trim tank top, only the look in her blue eyes showing any signs of distress. "Arya! How could you do this to me? Joffrey was furious! It was humiliating! And don't you dare deny it, no one else would ever be so vicious!" A tear dripped down Sansa's perfect cheek.
Arya attempted an innocent smile that only made her look all the more guilty, "I don't know what you're talking about Sans, is there something you need to talk to us about?" She did her best to look the concerned sister, but her amusement couldn't be contained.
"How could you be so cruel? I love him. You always try to ruin everything good in my life!" Sansa started sobbing in earnest, sinking down onto an unclaimed armchair.
Robb rushed over to hug and console her. "Fuck sake Arya? What did you do this time?" he hissed at her.
"Nothing! At least nothing worth the histrionics."
Bran and Rickon tried to make themselves unimposing behind the couch. "We should really have popcorn" Rickon whined.
"Quiet! Don't call their attention to us or we'll have to leave without finding out what's going on!"
"You changed my ringtone for Joff! No one else would have done it! And no one else would even know about that awful band you like."
"First of all, I don't know what you're talking about. Second, that band is bloody brilliant. Third that song is perfect for that wormy little boyfriend of yours. You are just too stupid to realize it. And fourth, that was fucking hilarious and if you or he had any sense of humor at all, you would realize it."
"Why bother to deny it exactly?" Jon interjected, " and what band are we talking about?"
"Shut up. And deny what?"
Robb sighed "Sansa, why don't you tell us what happened."
Sansa sniffed raising her nose in the air. "Fine" she said, angrily wiping the tears from her face. "I was sitting in the quad chatting with Jeyne and Margery. A bunch of other people were around, Sandor and Meryn and Tommen, and you know everyone. Everyone was around to witness it."
Arya rolled her eyes. Sansa's idea of everyone was everyone she considered popular and important, there was no objectivity there.
"Anyway, Joffrey tried calling me to see where we were all hanging out. That's when it happened. That little," here she paused, her face scrunching in disgust as she tried to think of the proper word, "hooligan changed my ringtone. And made it loud. There was no hiding it. Everyone in the quad was laughing. When Joffrey heard about it he was so angry. He thought I did it on purpose, which of course I would never do. She's ruined everything. We were going to get married and have beautiful babies, and everything was going to be perfect." Sansa started sobbing again. Her siblings were all incredulous, it sounded like a fairly harmless prank, and Joffrey was a douche, even if Sansa couldn't see it.
Arya sat on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest, her expression a mix of concern, guilt, and disgust.
Robb was the only one who dared ask, "what exactly was your ringtone changed to?"
"How should I know? One of those awful indie bands she listens to. It was just so insulting."
"Oh for fucks sake Sans! It wasn't that bad. It was supposed to be funny. And if that prick of a boyfriend of yours was worth anything, he would trust that you wouldn't hurt him on purpose, and appreciate a good joke!"
"Why don't you play it for us Sansa! The rest of us can decide how wrong it was of Arya" Bran shouted this out happily.
"I didn't do anything!" Arya protested.
"Give it a rest little sister, no one believes you." Jon tried to make peace while messing up Arya's short hair and trying not to smirk.
"Yeah, fair enough" she grinned.
"Here, listen, you'll all see how mean she was." Sansa pulled out her phone and soon music was playing through the tinny speakers, all of the Starks straining to hear.
You come creepin' But you act so sweet It upset me But you act so sweet A creep You say you're always But you act so sweet Oh, a creep
Actin' like a fiend
But I've been warned
Your deceit knows no end
And you don't cut deep
You're just a little creep
To learn you act this way
Poor thing it must be hard
To be yourself each day
And you don't cut deep
You're just a little creep
Just a creep
Just a creep
Right, right, right,
It's not so simple
It's not so black and white
And you don't cut deep
You're just a little creep
Just a creep
Just a creep
Just a creep
"Wait I don't get it" Rickon complained, " is it funny because Joffrey is such a douchebag and only Sansa doesn't know it?" His genuinely innocent question sent the rest of them, except poor Sansa, into hysterics.
Robb tried to gain control of himself "Come on Sansa, it is kinda funny.." he gasped out.
"I hate you all." Sansa sulked and stormed out.
"Oh little sister, you'll have to make it up to her, but that was bloody perfect." Jon kissed the top of Arya's hair after he'd settled down.
"That's what I thought," she said, snuggling into him. "So… one more quest before I go and beg her graces's forgiveness?"
Authors's Note:
So the song is "just a creep" by the Dum Dum Girls, and they are awesome (seriously, go check them out… they have a modern bangles meet ramones heart achey feel). It's been ages since I wrote anything, and this is my first in ASOIAF. But I heard this song, and all I could think of was how perfect it would be for a modern AU Joffrey. Ideally, with Sansa singing it to him, but I just couldn't force her to be so confrontational and stay in character. Reviews make a girl happy!