Temporary Bliss

"Kyouya..."
"Shut up."
A thud. A groan, a gasp.
The rustle of clothes and sheets.
Silence.

Silence filled the apartment choking every would be sound. Darkness. Midnight blue shadows engulfed the various rooms interrupted only by the tiniest sliver of silver moonlight that crept through cold glass windows. The blinking green interface of an alarm clock showed 02:36. The dead hour, the hour where those who cannot find rest stare at the ceiling whilst thoughts swirl in their head in one gigantic mess.

A sigh cuts through the silence. The sound of sheets moving soon follows and the sound of soft footsteps emerge. Shit. Takashi emerged from the bedroom hair tousled, face blank, and eyes tired. So tired. The cold light of the moon bathed him in a pale light, leeching what little colour the darkness had left from his skin. Ghost. He lifted an arm and examined it fingers flexing until his thoughts stirred him from his trance like state. The glass pane felt like ice against Mori's bare skin causing goosebumps to form and ripple down his arms. But he didn't care; what was a bit of physical discomfort compared to what was going on inside his head?

The muscles in his neck tightened betraying his state of mind as his face remained as smooth as a mirror. Tch. Closing his eyes he gave into his thoughts letting them flow over the barriers that he'd so carefully constructed. Idiot, you knew it would come to this. You knew it right from the start. You knew you were a replacement. Worthless. Unlovable. Wooden. Always loving, never loved. He doesn't love you, he doesn't even care; you're nothing but a means to an end for him. Used. Abused. Yet coming back for more. Stupid masochist. Stupid. Fucking. Idiot.

Shut up! The voices in his head subsided to mere whispers yet losing none of their potency. Onyx eyes blinked and looked out far beyond the horizon of the city. They weren't wrong: he was an idiot. An idiot who knew exactly what he was getting into but when push came to shove... Staying emotionally detached would've been easier but nigh impossible. Takashi never did anything by halves; it was either all or nothing, especially when it came to love.

Love? Yes. Pathetic. A shadow flickered across his face chasing the wry smile that had appeared moments before. He was in love. In love with someone who he knew used him as a replacement for the person whom they loved. A sick situation that he had embraced and learned to live with. Late night calls and texts that landed him in bed as often as not.

Fuck. Damn it. But now... Mori couldn't bear it any longer. He couldn't bear knowing that every kiss, every touch that they shared meant... nothing. Kyouya loved Tamaki, not him. Never him. With a sigh he walked back to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. Kyouya... The steady rhythm of his breath permeated the silence, pushing it away, creating a warmth in the otherwise dark room.

Takashi walked over to the bed and knelt down by the sleeping man, gently brushing of the stray hair from his face. Peaceful. His face was smooth, free from any worries or frustrations that they day brought with it. Vulnerable. Young. He stirred at the featherlight touch, a crease marring the otherwise peaceful face. "Ta... ah..." Barely more than an exhaled breath but it felt like a knife had been pushed into his heart. Of course he was dreaming of the perfect blond. He was just a body after all. Temporary bliss. Tch.

No. He had to leave. Now. Before he became irreparably damaged; a broken vessel whose soul had long since gone. Sever all ties with him. It would benefit them both in the long run... right? Who knew? The soft thud of the door reverberated around the apartment breaking the hold the silence had. The alarm clocked blinked. 04:13. Kyouya rolled over, fist grabbing onto the empty pillow beside him as he continued to sleep.

"Takashi..."