A/N: This is a Sandle oneshot based on the song All You Wanted by Michelle Branch. Here is where I plug Eleen's Sandle video. You can find it on Youtube under Dawlish42. Admit it, All You Wanted is the perfect song for Greg and Sara.
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of the characters.
All You Wanted
"So I'm thinking that between the heroin and the Merlot, it was possible that he signed his own death wish." Sofia put into the on going conversation of the death of Mr. Smith, an aristocrat in his late thirty's who was found dead when his business partner went to call on him before a meeting at The Ramada.
"Negative," Nick noted. "There was less than two glasses poured from the bottle, not nearly enough to be lethal."
The members of the graveyard shift were currently gathered around the table in evidence room, examining pictures taken of the body and hotel room. Nick was joining them tonight, Grissom claiming that his team was short-handed. Catherine, now the current supervisor of the swing shift, decided that she could spare Nick, only landing a simple breaking and entering that evening that she was positive her and Warrick could handle alone.
Suggestions as to what may have caused his death continued to float around the room, all avoiding anything that included a weapon because of the lack of lacerations, gun shot wounds, and contusions that would have been physically visible upon the primary body check; they would learn more after the autopsy. Everyone seemed to have one explanation or another, that is, everyone except for Greg Sanders.
During the exchange of theories, Greg sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest, keeping completely quiet. Sure, he had some Ideas that he would like to lay out on the table, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. He was distracted. The entire time his mind was stuck on thoughts of just one thing: a certain CSI with her sable henna hair and her orphic brassy eyes.
Yes, Sara Sidle was the solitary target of his attention. No matter how hard he tried to advert his oversight back to the affair at hand, the ravishing belle who was sitting across from him had caged all of his will to look away. He was under her enchantment and she didn't even know it.
Ever since she had been assigned as his mentor when he first got put in the field, his admiration for her blossomed into an obsession; he had to be like her, he had to be intelligent, witty, willful and still be able to maintain a softer, more sensitive side. She had been a siren, calling out to him for all of these years, and now she was finally within reach.
"I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything. So I tried to be like you and I got swept away." Greg muttered unconsciously.
It was true, from the moment he had met Sara, he had wanted to live up to her standards. Hell, she was the reason he had asked Grissom if he could get into the field in the first place; to be closer to the one thing he truly desired. But although he had attempted to keep his emotions towards her strictly professional, every moment he was around her, he got swept away by a whirl wind of intimate feelings.
"What was that Greg?"
The voice snapped him out of his rapturous daze for the time being.
"Huh?" He said sheepishly as he straightened up and glanced at the faces of his co-workers, all of them looking at him expectantly.
"Greg, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from falling asleep on us," Grissom stated, staring sternly at the youngest CSI. "This is serious."
"I know, I'm sorry." Greg apologized quietly.
"What was that you said, Greg?" Sara questioned as she leaned forward, placing her head in her palms, clearly just as bored as he was with this group get together.
"I'm sorry?" Greg repeated, trying his hardest not to blurt out the truth or worse, a compliment to his own personal goddess, that would not only stun the room, but would give Nick something to hold over his head for all eternity. Sure, Nick knew about his hidden affection for Sara, most of the lab did, but having said something that made it known to the girl of his dreams, her expression that of a terror-stricken deer caught in headlights, was not something that Greg wished Nick to have over him.
"No, Greg," Sara continued, her sorrel eyes glistening. "What you said before that."
Damn it, Greg thought. She heard me…
Making up a lie on the spot, Greg said, "Maybe the guy got involved in a drinking game with some other guys and it turned out that he got swept away from the reaction it had with the drugs. I mean, we didn't find any good prints but we have some partials and smudges, right? The others could have been smart and covered their tracks making it look like Mr. Smith was alone all the time."
"A drinking game with wine? That seems a little unlikely." Sofia added as she considered the situation.
"There wasn't only wine." Sara inserted, causing everyone to look at her. "I found some beer bottles lined up by the bed."
"Define 'some'." Nick said.
"About eight or nine."
"That'd do it." He continued.
"Not bad, Greg." Grissom smirked as he glanced back down at a picture of the room before they had started processing. "I'm impressed."
Greg just shrugged, a shadow of a smile crossing his face as he leaned back, thinking that he could go unnoticed for another little while, giving him some more time to fall back into a fantasy world where the only person who made an appearance besides him was Sara. Within moments, he was back on his cloud of dreamy ecstasy, his gaze locked on the object of his endearment.
Even though the last time he said something to himself got him into a bit of a twist, Greg couldn't help but continue his musings out loud, even if it was just in a little less than a whisper.
"You didn't know that it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. So I'll take your hand and we'll figure out that when the tide comes I'll take you away."
Sara was indeed very cold at times, blocking herself out from the world in the midst of her depression. Greg had always thought that she secretly wished she had someone to show her the way through all of the rough times. He had his mind set on being the one to take her hand and teach her how to flow through life all blithe and breezy, without a care in the world. He knew that if she could just let herself go for only a few minutes, her life would be more oscillate like the water, never following the same course twice, independent, balmy and placid but still a great force to be reckoned with. Only then, could he be able to make her see the more clement, sensuous side of life.
Luckily, no one heard him this time, so he continued through his everlasting stream of gallant apprehensions about his favorite femme fatale.
"Sara, if you want to, I can save you; I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted all of this time was somebody to care."
"What?" Unfortunately, Greg was pulled out of his reverie for the second time that night; and for another second, it was Sara to do it.
"What?" Greg repeated, thoroughly enjoying listening to his angel's voice ring out with it's crystal tone.
"You said my name." Sara stated plainly as she stared him down.
Time to play dumb… Greg thought, believing it was the easiest way to get out of the situation he was in.
"I did?"
"Yeah." Sara noted.
"We all heard you." Sofia added.
The others nodded in confirmation.
"I guess I did." Greg muttered, a chagrin falling into place.
"Well, why did you say it?" Sara persisted, curiosity all over her face as to why her friend had put forth her name when they were talking about Mr. Smith's drunken cohorts.
"I didn't mean to, I was just thinking out loud is all."
"About the case, I hope." Grissom inserted, his face turning into a scowl. It had been a long shift and unfortunately, there was still about two hours left before he could go home.
"Sorry Griss, I'm just a little sidetracked tonight." Greg managed to get out.
"Well if you could keep your mind on the case for just a few more minutes, we're almost done here."
"Or," Nick began, a smirk crossing his face. "You could let it all out. My psychiatrist tells me that I should never keep in things that are worrying me." He joked.
"I'm not worried, Nick." Greg said, irritation filling his voice at the mere suggestion of it.
"Nick has a point." Grissom added. "The sooner you get this out of your system the sooner we can continue on with our case."
Greg uneasily glanced around at his co-workers, his eyes landing on Sara last. Upon seeing the sedate look on her face, he decided that it couldn't hurt to tone it down to a level that focused a little more on himself than her.
After drawing a shaky breath, Greg recited, "I'm sinking slowly, so Sara hold me, your hand would be all I'd have to keep me hanging on. Please can you tell me so I can finally see where you go when you're gone."
He was getting some odd looks, but not one uttered a word, so he took this as a sign to continue. However, he decided to flip the books back to her so she didn't miss the big picture: this was about him wanting to help her, wanting to become her guardian angel of sorts, her constant inamorato.
"If you want to, I can save you; I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cared." Greg finished, a look of insecurity crossing his vernal, boyish face.
Everyone was deathly quiet, all staring at him in different ways. He let his eyes slowly scan the table, reading out their expressions. Sofia's was one of confusion, like she didn't quite understand what had just happened. Nick's was one of pride, almost as if he was happy that Greg had finally made his fondness for the charming brunette show. Grissom's was one of torment and malevolence. Was it possible that he was jealous, or was he just overly irritated? Either way, Greg could tell that Grissom thought him putting his feelings out for the world to see was an abomination.
The last face he turned to was the one he had been most anxious to see, and for Greg, it was the hardest to read. Her eyes shimmered as if they were about to overflow with tears. He hoped that she wasn't going to cry; he didn't think he would be able to bear it if she had cried because of him.
Tears of happiness would be a different story though… He mused internally.
Her face was set, the only emotion showing was in her eyes and mouth. The corners of her lips seemed to be slightly upturned, or was he just imagining things? No, he was sure that if given the time, her luscious, rose colored lips would turn up into a tickled smile. Her eyes were his main focus, though. Deep behind their dusty ochre, fascination, enthralling glamour was waiting to burst free. Beneath the surface of her waxen, spectral face, lie a cornucopia of mirth trapped by a hidden barrier, constricting it to the parapet of her soul until she though it was safe enough to dispense it out into the open.
Thinking that he had seen enough to ease his mind, for the time being at least, Greg stood up slowly and turned towards the door.
"Now, if you'll excuse me I think I've exonerated enough ardency for one night."
And with that, he walked out of the room, not looking back once.
After a few minutes of silence, Nick decided to question the ending of his speech.
"Does anyone know what ardency means? Griss?" He turned towards Grissom, knowing that out of the group, he would be the most likely to answer his question.
Slowly, Grissom turned his eyes up to Sara, avoiding Nick completely.
"The term ardency refers to many things," He began, his expression blank. "Fondness, affection, amity, delight, fidelity, idolatry, but first and foremost…" He trailed off, really not wanting to answer the question.
"First and foremost what?" Sara questioned, her eyes alight with innocence.
Grissom sighed before breathing the word, "Love."
Silence once again enveloped the room but Grissom knew it was held in vain. It was clear to him that Sara was only being quiet because she thought it best to follow suit. Grimly, Grissom turned back towards her and muttered the word 'go'.
She didn't waste a second before getting up and bolting from the room. From that moment on, he knew he had lost his shot, he had lost Sara even before he truly had her.
Still not quite understanding, but knowing for a fact that Grissom harbored feelings for the liberated woman who just ran from the room, Sofia spoke up, "Why did you let her go Grissom?" In truth, she thought she already knew the answer.
"In the name of love, it is only fair to let our beloveds spread their wings and fly when they feel it is time." He replied solemnly.
"Shakespeare?" Nick wagered a guess as to where the man had gotten his quote from this time.
"Me." Grissom smirked halfheartedly.
Sara ran through the corridors, asking everyone she came across if they had seen Greg; no one seemed to have an answer for her. She had to find him and confront him about what had just happened. Although his speech was completely unexpected, it was heart-felt and genuine. Although she had been chasing Grissom for the last few years, she had always sort of liked Greg, and since attempting to get her boss to accommodate to her emotions, she decided it was better just to move on and follow the truer parts of her heart, and right about know, her heart was telling her that the former lab rat was for real and loved her for nothing more and nothing less than what she was.
Upon coming to a split in the hallway, she decided to stop running around aimlessly until she got an answer out of someone.
"Hodges!" She called as she noticed him walking out of his lab, "Hodges, have you seen Greg?" She pleaded, strain rising up in her voice.
"Sanders went running towards the parking lot, maybe he's cutting shift early to go and bleach his hair again." Hodges replied sarcastically, wanting to get back to his work.
Without even a 'thank you', Sara strode briskly towards the door at the end of the hall, leading out to the parking lot. As soon as she bust through it, she ran out to the first row of cars and began calling out his name.
"Greg? Greg, are you out here?"
She heard a soft chuckle from behind her. Sara turned around to see Greg sitting on the ground, leaning up against the building just beside the door, his arms resting on his bent up knees.
How did I not see him there? She thought as she jogged back over to the door, sinking down beside him onto the cool asphalt.
"What are you doing out here?" Sara asked conversationally, deciding that it was better to ease her way into what she wanted so direly to say.
"Well, I decided that since I humiliated myself inside no one would find me out here. It would appear that I was wrong." Greg grinned as he turned to meet Sara's gaze.
"Humiliate yourself?" Sara questioned, knowing what he was referring to but not particularly thinking that it was humiliating.
Another chuckle.
"Did you not just see what I did in there? I probably sounded like a total idiot."
"No, you didn't." Sara retorted, smiling slightly. So much for easing into this… "Greg, what you did in there was incredibly sweet, not to mention brave."
"Shut-up." Greg murmured as he looked away from her, a part of him not wanting to believe that she enjoyed it. After all, he had expected absolute rejection and denial that it had ever happened.
"I'm serious." She continued, "Greg, what you did in there took courage beyond compare, and I know for a fact that it was bona fide." Not getting an answer, she decided to continue the only way she thought would be appropriate. Daringly, she reached out and took Greg's hand in hers, causing him to look at her, a puzzled look crossing his features.
"Greg, if you want to, you can save me; you can take me away from here." Sara watched as a delighted look fell onto his face. "I was so lonely inside, and so busy out there, and all I wanted was somebody who cared."
For what seemed like an eternity passed before either of them said anything but Greg eventually broke the dead air.
"Do you really mean it, Sara?" He questioned. "Are you sure you're willing to risk everything you have just to give me a chance to be your knight in shining armor? What if I fail miserably?"
"You won't fail Greg. And yes, I'm willing to take that chance." She replied simply. "And now I'll show you, so you can finally see, where I go when I'm gone."
And with that, she leaned in engaging them in a sultry, lascivious kiss that carried on into the chilly, boreal night. In the few moments that Greg was trapped in the kiss, he knew he came to the conclusion of where she went when she was gone. Heaven.