Hello~! I'm not quite dead, yet that is. I've brought a new story for you all, seeing that I took down my older ones. They'll be back, soon. I re-wrote most of them so just bear with me on this one. I've had this idea for quite some time now and decided to pull out an old notebook and write this story down. About 13 chapters in, I filled not one but 2 notebooks and thought 'what if I put it on my account?' so here I am. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA nor do I own 'Breathe Me' by Sia. :(
The music, it just moves me in a way almost unexplainable. I can't explain how something so simple can cause my mind to be rendered as useless as a piece of tile, only serving one purpose, for it's general composition explains it's use. Notes lost through the lyrics, almost stopping in air altogether. Arms swaying from side to side in the rhythm, body moving in tune with every flux in the music's pattern.
"Help me, I've done it again..." A raspy voice , one full of sadness and a sense of helplessness, echoed off the walls of my garage tuned into dance studio/bedroom.
"I have been here many times before..." the voice sounded, seeming to entice my ears with her gentle yet injured voice.
Arms above my head, eyes closed in last ditch effort to forget the night previous. Light skittered about the room, darkness contrasting against the dim lights of the hanging lamp up above. Spinning gracefully on a toe, a deep sigh emanating from my lips, I lowered my arms slowly and let them fall to my sides.
Bright red slippers adorned my small feet, the crimson ribbons snaking their way up my pale white calves. A set amount of scars and minor bruises scattered across my legs became visible in the dimed light but as each turn and step quickened, the faces of men wearing leather and studs seemed to disappear in a empty bliss.
"Hurt myself today..." I sang quietly along with the song, my thin fingers clutching my protruding shoulders in a way top make it look like I was hugging my self, feet moving on their own accord. As the song progressed I seemed to loose myself in the music yet again.
"...And the worse part is there's no one else to blame..." I whispered, my body stopping altogether as a crestfallen look etched itself across my face while slouching forwards some making my shoulders stand out that much more. Ragged breaths made themselves known very quickly and I placed a hand over my heart in a failed attempt to calm it.
"... Warm me up... And breathe me..." the song went quiet for a moment before being joined in by a few more interments.
A shudder and sigh later, the song silenced itself as I unplugged the cord to the stereo. Staring at the corn for what seemed like forever before dropping in disgust, how stupid would I be if I did that? Looking up in the mirror behind the stereo with a face of mild disgust, I reached up and rested my fingers against the inflamed line that was spreading across my cheek bone. I gave a visible flinch before running my stubby-nailed fingers through the greasy bangs of my pale gold hair.
Taking a moment to calm my racing heart to did I feel a twinge of pain flooding my nervous system; I knew I had a weak heart but I never thought it would hurt this badly. Clutching my hand into a ball, I slammed it on to the bed and took a long and well needed deep breath, letting it all in a long, drawn out sigh. Bending over to untie my crimson slippers, did I realize that the stupid bastard that brought me these left a note inside of the new box. Tossing the slippers aside, I bent down and grabbed the envelope and ran a finger across the wax stamp. I stared at it with a hint of hatred; the stupid thing looked better then I did in all it's worthless glory. Contemplating even bothering to read, against better judgment I tossed in under the dresser stand with a weakened glare.
"Stupid idiot..." I muttered, getting up and shooing the blood-red shoes under the dusty and broken before flopping over onto the bed while looking up at the rotted with a slight annoyance because the stupid landlord won't fix it.
Long slender arms laid at my sides as I stared at the ceiling, observing the panels with mild interest. Long golden strands of hair lay in a greasy mess, sprawled out like a tarnished halo. Nasty, how could I let myself go so many days without washing it, then again how can I when I don't have any access to a shower or even a bathroom.
A tarnished halo sounds like my cup of tea, that is if I told you all my secrets. Who knows of this heart is even strong enough to live through another day. When I was child, my mother told me my heart was made of glass, so fragile that a single crack could crack it. A heart of glass can only take so much before breaking altogether under the pressure, and with my eyes of dull violet, It would have cracked a while ago. I may be strong, but once when my walls start crumbling down, I'm just as weak as a baby deer.
The lights flickered, and with a content sigh, I cursed under my breath and pulling my jacket close to me.
"Well... Fuckin' A!" I spat out, looking over at my clock seeing it's well past midnight, but it was light out only such a short time ago. Running fingers through my hair again, I gave yet another sigh and held the bridge of my nose before sliding out of my sweat pants and sliding under the thick wool covers Staring at the ceiling panels once again, I smiled a little before giving my mind, body and soul into the well needed slumber.
"Do you wish to leave it all behind?"
Tasting blood, I now saw that I had chewed my lip to the point of bleeding. Silly me.
"Le me rephrase that; do you wish to leave your world of confusion and grief for a world of peace and happiness?" A voice said, almost sneering.
Sitting down to hood my head, I slowly let my eyes open. All I saw was white except for the figure whom was also white which sat not to far from me.
"How... How could something of that sort me possible!" I drew out, shaking my head in confusion.
"Equivalent Exchange, that is how it is possible." That phrase, I knew that phrase. Mr. Fancy-Pants, otherwise known as the rich guy who had bought me new slippers spoke highly of this exchange non-sense before.
"Precisely, now is you would so kind as to answer me question from before." It pressed on, grinning. I stared at the thing in front of me, my greasy hair falling back into my sight.
"Uh... Yeah, I would." I trailed off, looking down at my arms, the bruises and the men. Night after night, the same thing; hitting and kicking. Yelling and broken beer bottles. Something did not seem right about this offer. Before even thinking about asking about the conditions of this, I looked. up as it began to speak again.
"Good, Good. Now I ask if you are aware of how you came to be in my presence." it said smoothing, crossing it's legs.
With furrowing brow, I tilted my head and shook my head quickly.
"No, I don't now..." I said quietly, instinctively resting a hand against my heart.
"Human Transmutation." it said smugly. I tilted my head the other direction with a confused look.
"Human what?" I asked, setting my hands in my lap, feeling weak.
"It means you had died and someone had tried to bring you back from the gate," it said with a smirk, "but I saw how much you have been through and seen how much you would want to just leave it all behind. I'm being generous and giving you a second chance..."
Wide violet eyes and a hitched breath, I stared back at the white figure as got up and turned away.
"Don't you mess this life up, you will only have one chance to live life to the fullest. And, as always, there is a toll. Say good-bye to mortality Homunculus. .." it said sourly, walking away.
Hands wrapped around my waist, shoulders, neck and every other square inch of my body and yanked me backwards.
"Wait! Where am I going!"
"A country called Amestris..." it echoed now out of sight.
With a final yank and slam of gate doors shutting, I saw light. Light everywhere.
It was like someone was erasing m memories, making my mind question itself.
I fluttered open my eyes, not even realizing that I had closed them in the first place
"Envy, go fetch some clothes. Our guest has awoken..." A male voice rang out. A hand helped me to a sitting position.
"Huh...?" I asked tiredly, raising a hand to rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Where am I...?" I asked quietly blinking slowly, my eyes rolling around to look to the room. It was Dark, and then there was him; a blonde male who looked oddly familiar. Looking at my hands, I saw they were clear, and I rested a hand on my chest and saw that my clothes had gone and I felt a itch from my clevage.
"No, child. Do not move around to much, you will hurt yourself..." the male voice warned.
"Here, take this stupid thing!" a screech rang out, causing me to cringe.
"Envy, voice down! Can't you tell this child was only born moments ago!" he scolded.
"Sorry Father..." the screechy voice apologized.
As the blonde turned back to me, he pushed me back into the pillow.
"Sleep my child, I'll help you when you wake up, but you need to gain your strength. Has a good slumber, young one..." he said, resting his hand on my own before everything turned into a soundless dream.