*A/N: Updated!!! Woot!

Are They Or Aren't They?

"Please." The young scientist rolled his eyes. "It's obvious they were in love. In practically every other episode, they refer to each other interchangeably as 'my salvation,' 'my source,' 'my light,' 'my home,' 'my path,' and so on." He placed the scalpel on the metal table, and turned to glower at Cam.

"Exactly!" Hodgins cried enthusiastically. "And plus, hello, they sleep together! On the same friggin' bedrolls! They-"

"No," Zach interrupted, looking mildly irritated, which was the equivalent of a normal person being rather upset. "Not like that, Dr. Hodgins. I just meant that they are deeply in love. Soul mates."

Jack Hodgins frowned, putting down his jar of bugs and dirt to glare at the younger man. "Come on, man. Do you really want me to list the ways that they are so sleeping together?"

"Boys, boys," Cam broke in. "It doesn't even go that far. Xena and Gabrielle are just friends. Best friends, but just friends."

"What?!" Both men cried angrily, jumping out of their respective seats.

"Dr. Saroyan, and I say this respectfully, have you been living under a rock?" The whole lab was rather stunned to hear this from Zach, who was often criticized for almost the same thing.

She arched one sculpted eyebrow, much like Xena herself. "Careful, Dr. Addy. Or else I might be forced to-" Angela chose that moment to enter, a file folder in her hands, and cut her off.

"Look, Cam, we love you, but you're wrong. And as much as I hate to admit it, Hodgins is right. Their relationship was so non platonic."

Cam sighed, and adjusted her blazer, then opened her mouth to retort, but before she could, Zach jumped in.

"Look, I know there is a huge following for Xena and Gabrielle 'shippers, but the writers never intended it to be like that."

"What?!" Angela was outraged. And she was rather scary when she was that angry. "Zach. Sweetie. Have you seen a single interview with Rob Tapert? Sam Raimi? Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor?" He looked sheepish. "Ted Rami, even? No. "

"But-"

"No." She held up a hand. "Did you even see A Day In The Life? Been There, Done That? A Friend in Need?!"

"Of course I saw them!"

"Then how can you deny that they were lovers?" The group was so ensconced in their argument that they didn't notice as Booth and Brennan ascended the steps.

Hodgins broke in, relieved Angela was defending his point. "Thank you! They were so totally hooking up!"

"Who were hooking up?" Brennan asked.

Cam shook her head disgustedly. "Everyone here thinks that Xena and Gabrielle were lovers. Except Zach."

"But they were very much in love." Zach added.

"No, I agree with Dr. Addy. They were very deeply in love, but it wasn't sexual."

Cries echoed throughout the small room. From Zach, It was a cry of victory, from Hodgins and Angela, similar cries of outrage, and from Booth and Cam, cries of disbelief.

"Are you serious, Bones?"

"Of course I'm serious."

"They were not having sex!" Booth stared at her in disbelief.

Cam threw up her arms. "Hah! I told you!"

Angela stomped over, her boots clacking loudly on the floor and spoke directly into her best friends face.

"Brennan. Tempe. Honey. They were having sex. Accept it, or Hodgins and I will be forced to list every reason for you." She glanced at him, and he nodded fiercely.

"And can I just add," Hodgins broke in before Brennan had a chance to respond. "Hello. Heart of Darkness? Did you see that dance? Oh my GOD."

"Plus!" Angela cried triumphantly. "When Xena was talking to the archangel guy, Michael or whatever, he called Gabrielle her girlfriend!"

"I remember that!" Booth mused. He appeared to be thinking hard. "She said, 'We've got a lot in common,' or something, and he was like 'Right. You're a human girl with a lying tongue and savage tendencies, and a blonde girlfriend.' Or something like that."

Angela grinned. "Exactly! And after that, he felt the need to add, 'I'm a celibate archangel in service of the lord.' Why would he include celibate if he wasn't insinuating that they were having sex?"

Cam groaned. "Because he is an angel, Angela, and that's just who he is!"

"Look, guys, as great as your points all are, you need to remember that these people aren't real. And besides," Booth glanced at his watch. "Shouldn't you be working?"

Zach and Hodgins glanced guiltily at each other. "Lunch break..." They muttered, rather incoherently.

"You know what?" Brennan interrupted brightly. "I think Angela and Dr. Hodgins may be correct."

"Yes!" Hodgins punched the air, and threw an ecstatic high five at his girlfriend. "Wait, really? I'm right?"

"Yes." Brennan seemed to be considering how to phrase her next words, when Booth broke in.

"Come on, guys. Don't be ridiculous!"

"Yeah! It's insanity!" Zach agreed.

Doing a quick count, Booth paled. "Okay, I'm changing my mind. I'm agreeing with Angela. You won't catch me on any squints majority vote."

Angela smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you Seeley."

As if trying to convince himself, Booth rambled on to no one in particular.

"And, yeah, I mean When Fates Collide was pretty obvious, right? They meet with Xena as Empress and Gabrielle as playwright, and they fall in love all over again!"

"But it wasn't that kind of love, Booth! Their souls recognized each other!" Zach threw up his arms despairingly.

"Don't be ridiculous, Dr. Addy. 'Souls' cannot recognize each other."

Angela muttered something under her breath, and Cam raised an eyebrow.

"Angela?"

"I said 'on Xena they do!'"

"This is insane. They were in love, they were lovers, they were soul mates, and that is the end of this discussion!" Hodgins slammed his palm onto the metal table, making everyone jump.

So, everyone returned to work, muttering unhappily under their breath, except Angela. She was rather happy, as she had converted another Xena/Gabrielle 'shipper. She fed coordinates and situations into the Angelator, and she grinned as a thought struck her.

They were so going to have subtext party next weekend.

*A/N: Alrighty, this is the final draft! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you guys, but school is starting up, sucky as it may be, I do have to get ready. Believe me, I would much rather be here, writing, hahaha. Anyway, you know the drill, no copyright infringement intended, and I'll be your bestest friend in the world in you review. *puppy dog eyes* Plus, I'll give you a cookie. ;)*