Psychoticbunny: And once again, instead of updating my stories, I have made a parody. U Please don't take offense at it though. It's purely for the sake of comedy. And I don't own D.Gray Man. That's Katsura Hoshino's job.
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Once upon a time, Katsura Hoshino got bored and decided to make an Allen filler.
Allen arrives in some random country the manga-ka picks. It could be Germany, India, or France. It doesn't really matter because everyone speaks Japanese anyway.
Allen's boat/train is, conveniently enough for this episode, delayed so he finds the nearest inn and eats them out of house and home. Along the way, he encounters a cute kid who has lost his mother/sibling/friend. We shall call him… Twerp #438. Anywho, because of the death, Twerp #438 is a deviant little brat.
Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Why is Allen always rescuing adoroble children?' Well, we wouldn't want to see him rescue a hobo or something! No, he must rescue something helpless and cute in the eyes of his monsterously large fanbase.
Back to the plot (or lack thereof).
So Twerp #438 hates everyone around him because he's turned into an abrasive bastard. Abrasive and adorable! What could be better? Even though Allen will save his ass by the end of the series, he is not excluded from this "everyone" Twerp #438 loathes.
After numerous tedious flashbacks of Twerp #438's past, (It doesn't matter that he's a useless side character that will never be mentioned again! Every character must have a sad, dark, angst-ridden past!) he gets attacked by Akuma! OMFG! That's never happened before! What an awesome plot twist!
Allen is somehow standing right next to him during the attack and starts killing off Akuma. How convenient!
"WTF is going on??" Twerp #438 exclaims, not nearly as panicked by giant killing machines firing powerful bullets at him as he should be. He seems to ignore Allen's mutilated appearance too.
"These are Akuma," Allen explains, "I kill them for a living. I'm an Exorcist." He then makes billions of Akuma explode only inches from Twerp #438's face.
"I've never heard of Akuma before," Twerp #438 points out nonchalantly, calmly side-stepping as Allen's bullets miss an Akuma and land right on the spot he was standing on just before.
"That's because I'm not actually supposed to tell you about them or my job to kill them," Allen says. "But I'm the main character so I'm allowed to break anything: rules, restrictions, and even the laws of physics!"
"Just because you're a main character?" Twerp #438 asks in awe.
"Have you seen Sora's hair?" Allen counters while finishing off the last of the Akuma.
No, Twerp #438 hadn't. Video games hadn't been invented back then. But he nodded anyway because if, by chance, this led to him being considered a suitable enemy for the main characters, he would surely be killed in the near future, accompanied with various flashbacks the viewers had already seen fifty times.
Twerp #438 then decided Allen was the coolest person ever and learned some obscure life lesson.
Promising to visit Twerp #438 the next time he stopped by that town, Allen took off on his boat/train in an attempt to find Marshall Cross and discover how he learned to speak Japanese. (Seriously, he never used to speak it, yet all of his flashbacks are in that language!)
The next night, Twerp #438 had a terrible nightmare where Allen died a horrible death. Because that was the new fad, you know. Predicting Allen's death/horrendous injuries.
But that's okay 'cause we all beat him to death later.
And the moral of this story is: don't rescue little kids from Akuma unless you want to be brutally murdered off screen by a deluge of vicious fan girls.
Fin
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Psychoticbunny: Now give me reviews or give me death!
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Although reviews are preferred...