A/N: This story took forever to write! Seriously, I went through three or four different drafts of it and finally one clicked. I was so relieved I almost cried. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! This is only the first part though. I'm working on a companion piece, but that one will be rated M, so if you aren't interested, you don't have to check it out. Anyway, on to the story!
Disclaimer: Nope, still not Disney so the rights to Frozen and all the characters are out of my grasp. Alas.
Kristoff sat across from Elsa in her private study, the one in which she conducted her business. She was staring at him with such intensity that he could almost feel the blood in his veins turn to ice. He twisted the gray woolen cap in his hands and fought to keep eye contact. He didn't want her to think he was scared of her. Even though, at this particular moment, he was.
Elsa drummed her fingers on the top of her desk, her chin cupped in her other hand. "Would you like some tea?" she asked and gestured to the tea set Kai had brought in for their meeting. It was the second time she had offered him a drink since he had entered the room.
"You know why I'm here," he blurted out, squeezing his hat in his fingers. "Just say yes or no so that I can be put out of my misery."
She didn't respond at first. She poured herself a cup of tea instead, taking her time adding cream and sugar until it was just as she liked it. She took a dainty sip, her eyes staring at him over the rim of the snowflake and silver accented cup. He squirmed beneath her gaze.
She set the cup down on the saucer and then looked back at him again, her fingers steepled beneath her chin. "Why?" she asked softly.
"Why what?" Kristoff asked, his brows furrowing in his confusion.
"Why do you suddenly want to marry Anna? The two of you have been close for several years now and you've never seemed interested in marriage until this morning, and yet you suddenly seem very eager. So," she paused and took another sip of her tea, "what caused this change? Why do you want to marry my sister?"
A flush crept up his cheeks, staining them a bright red. He even felt his ears grow warm and knew that Elsa had touched on a nerve. "I've always wanted to marry her," he mumbled, "I just thought she could do better."
"What changed your mind?" Elsa pressed, her eyes growing warmer as they got to the real heart of the conversation. Kristoff wasn't used to talking about his feelings with anyone except Anna. Elsa's obvious pleasure with their conversation made him flush even deeper. If he wanted to marry her, though, he didn't have much of a choice. He had to spill his guts to Elsa. It was the only way to receive her blessing on their marriage.
He grimaced, but pressed on. "Jonathan Ellis," he admitted.
Elsa's eyes grew wide. "The Marquess? What does he have to do with it?"
"Well, you saw them together at the Ball last night, didn't you? I know I did..."
"Quit tugging on your collar,"Anna insisted, knocking his hand away. "You look handsome, like a Prince."
"I don't feel like a Prince," he argued, sticking his fingers in the starched collar and pulling yet again. "I feel like a fool."
It didn't matter how many of these balls he attended as Anna's guest, he didn't think he would ever get used to how uncomfortable he felt there. It wasn't just the formal outfit he had to wear, though that wasn't exactly a walk in the park. It fit snugly, hugging his chest and forcing him to stand straighter than normal. It was also pressed and starched, causing him to wrinkle it every time he moved. But the biggest problem, more than the uncomfortable formal wear, was the fact that he just didn't fit in. He had been coming to these balls and events with Anna since just after The Great Thaw more than two years ago, and it never seemed to get any easier. He wasn't a Prince and the more time that passed the more obvious that fact was becoming.
Anna must have noticed his discomfort because she leaned close to whisper in his ear. "Can you manage to wait for two hours?" She asked, her breath tickling his ear. "Maybe we can sneak out early."
He closed his eyes and let out a strained breath. "Two hours," he agreed. He could make it that long, right?
Anna chuckled and threaded her hand through the crook of his arm. "Come on, let's see what kind of desserts our amazing chefs have prepared for us tonight. I'm starving."
He laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "When chocolate is involved, you are always starving," he teased her, but let her lead him through the crush of people to the other side of the ballroom where the Buffet tables were laid out.
Elsa waylaid them on their way to the desserts, a regal looking man at her side. Anna's eyes widened as she took in the dark haired stranger. Kristoff felt her hand tighten around his arm as her most charming smile crossed her lips.
"Anna, Kristoff, I'd like to introduce you to the son of one of our newest trading partners."
"Princess Anna, it's a pleasure to meet you," the man said, taking Anna's free hand in his and placing a kiss to her knuckles. "I had heard tell of your beauty, but you have far surpassed my expectations."
Anna flushed and Elsa chuckled. "Anna, this is Jonathan Ellis, the Marquess of Cokesbury. His father deals in importing different herbs for tea. He doesn't know many of the nobility in Arendelle yet and I thought you might like to introduce him around."
"I'd be honored," Anna said warmly and then turned her attention back to him. "Kristoff, would you mind?"
He had watched with great surprise as Jonathan's attentions had brought Anna to a nervous flush and giggle. With just a kiss to the hand and a few flattering words! Kristoff couldn't help but feel distaste for him. He reminded him of Hans (the prick) and he didn't particularly want anyone like that around Anna. Jonathan did seem to have Elsa's approval though, so Kristoff had no grounds to object. What could he do? He nodded.
"Of course not," he said brusquely, "Make sure you stop by the dessert table, Jonathan. The Princess has been looking forward to trying the new chocolate mousse tarts."
Anna gave him a wide grin and squeezed his arm one last time before sliding her small hand into the crook of the Marquesses arm. It took everything inside of Kristoff not to run after her and pull her back into his arms. He knew he had to behave like a gentleman, like a man deserving of the title of Princess Anna's Consort. There was only one problem. He didn't want to behave like a gentleman. He wanted to punch the delighted smile off the young noble's face.
"Kristoff, is everything alright?" Elsa asked him, lying a hand on his shoulder and furrowing her eyebrows in concern.
He watched as Anna and Jonathan walked toward a group of Ambassadors and he grimaced. "Yeah, fine, just peachy," he grumbled and leaned against the wall behind him, his arms crossed over his chest and his piercing gaze on the handsome couple as they mingled.
"So, you were jealous," Elsa said softly, the side of her mouth quirking into a smile.
"Not jealous exactly," he argued, shifting in his chair awkwardly. "I mean, I was jealous, but that wasn't all of it. It was more like, seeing her with someone else, I realized I didn't like it. She belongs with me."
"And what made you realize it?" Elsa asked, setting her chin atop her hand again and looking at him with an amused smile on her lips.
His heart clenched tightly in his chest, an echo of the pain he had felt last night. He winced. "I started to doubt myself..."
Kristoff stared across the ballroom, his blood boiling in his veins. He had been watching Anna and the young Marquess for the last hour or more. They had mingled with almost everyone in the ballroom and every so often Jonathan would ask her for a dance. Every time he pulled her onto the ballroom floor to dance with him (which was four times now), Kristoff ground his teeth in frustration. It was getting bad enough that his entire jaw throbbed in time to the music of the orchestra. He wanted to take her back, draw her into his arms and bury his face in the sweet scent of her skin, but he didn't want to ruin her fun. Every time she faced him, he could see the brilliance of her smile. She glowed with happiness. It was obvious to him that she was having the time of her life and he loved her enough that he couldn't remove that smile, not for anything. It didn't stop him from aching for her, though.
He made his way over to the buffet table and grabbed a glass of wine, tossing it back as easily as if it were water. He didn't normally drink, but he figured tonight was an exception. It wasn't every day that a man had to stand back and watch as another man wooed his woman. Especially if the other man was better suited to her in many ways.
He grimaced at the thought that someone else might be better for Anna that he was. He couldn't deny that it was something he had thought about before. Many times, in fact. He knew that he wasn't going to someday turn into the perfect Prince. He wasn't going to wake up one morning and have all the social graces and niceties required to be a member of the nobility. He did the best he could, but it was far from enough. Anna needed someone who could be an asset to her position as the Crown Princess of Arendelle. She needed a man who would know how to rule with her if it ever came to that, though of course they both wished Elsa a long and happy life. She needed… she needed someone like Jonathan.
Pain hit him like an avalanche, knocking all the breath from him and leaving him stunned. He could actually lose her. He had thought about it before and had dismissed it as a "worry for a future time." It looked like the future was here now, and he wasn't prepared for it. It was like watching her be encased in ice all over again, except this time the pain would be exponentially greater. This time he had had two years worth of Anna, as opposed to two days, to remember as he lost her. This time he would be losing his entire world, the girl that filled his days and nights with wonder and love. He would lose everything.
The agony nearly drove him to his knees.
He watched as Jonathan drew her out to the dance floor once again and Kristoff's eyes narrowed. He wasn't going to give up just because he was a simple ice harvester and not nobility. He may not have the social connections required to be her husband, but that didn't mean he had nothing to offer her. He could give her more than anyone else ever could, because he understood her on a level that most men wouldn't even attempt. He had been through adventures with her, had comforted her when she had nightmares, had given her every bit of him that she had ever asked for. He had done all of this and more because he loved her more than anyone ever could. No one would ever love her as deeply, passionately or permanently than he did. He would offer himself.
That had to be enough.
Without giving himself another moment to change his mind, he strode purposefully across the dance floor and tapped on Jonathan's shoulder. The Marquess turned his head toward him, a look of surprise in his eyes. "Yes? Can I help you?" he asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"I'm cutting in," he said simply, putting his hand on the Marquess's chest and pushing him away from Anna. He knew that it was a breach of protocol, that he should have asked permission to pull Anna away, but he didn't give a damn. All he knew was that if he had to watch Anna touch this man for a moment longer, the young nobleman was going to be missing a few teeth.
"Kristoff," Anna chided, her voice low and full of censure as they moved away from her companion, "that was very rude. What got into you?"
He pulled her close, so their bodies were touching as they swayed to the music. "Your two hours are up," he whispered in her ear. "So, if you don't want me carrying you out of here over my shoulder, you'll come with me quietly."
Her eyes lit up again, a mischievous gleam that told him more than words could. She definitely wasn't annoyed with him anymore. "Would you really do that in front of all these people?" she asked him, a smile sliding over her pretty lips.
He pretended to think about it, even though he knew that he wouldn't actually do it. He didn't want to embarrass her, even if the thought of carrying her out of the ball and up to her bedroom was very appealing. "I don't think Elsa would be very happy with me if I did," he said with a sigh. "It's probably better if you just follow me out."
"Lead the way," she agreed. He took her hand and they left the ballroom (and most importantly, Jonathan) behind them.
"Are you sure you don't want to make a scene?" he asked as they reached the doors. "This is your last chance."
She laughed and squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm expecting you to carry me anyway, whether I make a scene or not."
He grinned down at her as they passed through the doors and into the grand foyer. "I'd hate to disappoint," he teased and in one smooth motion he scooped her up and tossed her casually over his shoulder, whistling as he climbed the stairs to her bedroom. He was rewarded with the musical sound of Anna's helpless giggles.
"I don't really need to hear this next part, Kristoff," Elsa said drily.
Kristoff flushed again. "Of course not, I wasn't going to, well…"
She coughed daintily, reminding him that they had a bigger matter at hand.
"Right, sorry...I guess I realized that it doesn't matter whether I have a title or land or whatever else everyone thinks I need to marry Anna. Elsa, I will love her more than anyone ever would or could. That's a promise," he paused, "but what I'm asking is, is it enough?"
He leaned back in his chair again, feeling exhausted after having poured his heart out to a woman that he hoped would be his future sister-in-law. He wasn't sure what he would do if she said no. Probably move back up to the mountains and become a recluse. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable idea, but it was better than remaining in Arendelle and watching as Anna was married off to Jonathan or someone like him. He couldn't stay for that, he was pretty sure it would destroy him.
Elsa didn't answer right away. He was beginning to realize that she made a habit of that. She definitely had a taste for theatrics like her younger sister, though she would never admit to it. Instead of answering him, she picked up her tea cup again and twirled it slowly in her hands. His gaze didn't stray from her face. He didn't want her to think that he wasn't taking this request seriously. It was the biggest step he had taken in his life… so yeah, it was serious.
When she finally set the cup back on its saucer, Kristoff felt his heart beat skip in his chest. This was it. This answer was going to change the rest of his life. Oh, please let her say yes, he thought desperately, trying to read the look in her pale blue eyes.
"Kristoff, there is no one, and I mean no one," she said forcefully, "that I would trust my sister with more than you."
He blinked, and then blinked again.
"What? You mean it?" he asked breathlessly, leaning forward over her desk with surprise and relief. "I can marry Anna?"
"Of course," she said with a light laugh. She poured herself another cup of tea. "If I had been opposed to the idea, I would never have asked you to move into the castle all those months ago."
He had to forcibly stop his mouth from falling open. "So, you knew back then that Anna and I…?"
She shook her head and took a sip of her tea. "No, of course I didn't know that it was going to work out for the two of you. Who could have known? What I meant was that I approved of Anna's choice the second time around. I knew that if it did work, you were someone that I would be proud to call family."
"Thank you," he said and meant it. He was more grateful than he could put into words. Elsa had seen potential in him, even when he hadn't seen it in himself. She had given him the gift of her blessing and it meant the world to him. "I won't disappoint either of you."
She waved away his words with a flick of her wrist. "Go, get ready for lunch," she said dismissively. "Tell Anna that we are having soup, she'll like that."
Kristoff bowed his head respectfully and then stood up, put his cap back on and began walking toward the door, planning what he would say to Anna when he asked her to be his wife. When he reached the door, he heard Elsa clear her throat and he looked back at her, one hand on the brass doorknob.
"No matter what you think, you've always been a Prince among men," Elsa said quietly, almost so quietly that he had to strain to hear her. "You're worthy of her, Kristoff. I wouldn't say that about just anyone."
He was stunned by her words, but he recovered quickly. He stammered a quick "Thank you" and then left the room, closing the door behind him.
"A Prince among men, huh, Kristoff?" he murmured, "You are certainly moving up in the world."
With Elsa's words of praise bolstering him up, he made his way to Anna's room. With any luck, they could announce their engagement at lunch. He grinned and knocked on her bedroom door.