Saturn of the north

Chapter 1: Ned stark's return from death but it wasnt actually death

Once upon a time it was after the red wedding in westeros, a land where electricity hasn't been invented yet, and the starks were in ruin, but there was a still a glimmer of hope for them.

A farmer who was farming ihis land was farming his lettuces when he noticed there was a mysterious figure swimming otwards him from the rivers, who was wearing very fancy clothes peasants did not have.

Each different article of clothing was a different colour of the rainbow but not in a camp way and he had a big leather coat like motorcyclists and he had skinny pantaloons and black spectacles instead of sunglasses. The voice spoke with a sexy machester accent

"excuse me farmer, you don't know where the twin is from this here farm""i've heard there is a wedding"

the farmer frowned with sadness "oh no ser, that was the red wedding , It was a bad wedding instead of a good one and lots of people died in it" he replied as he almost cried

"but my son was there" came an even sadder voice, and the figure took off his hood to reveal he was ned stark, lord of winterfell!

"oh my old gods! It's you ned stark lord of winterfell!""but you got your head chopped off for being a traitor!" said the farmer

ned gleamed with rebuttal " that wasn't me, that was an imposter, but he was evil so had it coming to him"

the farmer was enlightened by this discovery "ahhhhhhhhhh, but where have you been this whole time? The people need you ser"

"well the thing is, after the execution I was taken into safety by the mr saturns from earthbound, and I have been living in saturn valley till this day. There they taught me the ways of their people and lived as one of them. Now I have returned to save westeros from evil and other people and I am not alone!" he turned to the river and he proclaimed to a hidden mass of creatures in the river "saturn army, come forwards!"

and the farmer watched in awe as an entire army of mr saturns marched from the river, emerging from the water and walking onto the ground, and then they dried themselves on the grass. The farmer looked at ned stark and said "they don't have any arms, how are they supposed to fight the bad guys?"

"yes, but they have noses, so they can smell danger, and they have mouthes for biting"

but suddenly, a ninja jumped out from behind a tree!

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND TAKE YOUR MONEY!" Shouted the ninja

both ned and the farmer where caught by suprise, the farmer was not a warrior and so he ran and hid in his lettuce patch. But ned was and he thought a plan fast. He picked up one of the mr saturns and threw it at the ninjas leg, and it caused the ninja's leg to jump in pain. "ARHHH, I AM UNBALANCED!" Screamed the ninja as failed to remain stable and fell onto the bank of the river, causing him to roll into the river where he maybe drowned.

The mr saturn had a headache but it was mostly okay. The farmer got out of the lettuce patch and ran towards ned.

"thank you so much for saving from the ninja, there is no way I can ever fully repay this debt to you good ser, except prehaps one way!"

ned stark watched with intrigue as the farmer unlocked a large chest which contained a glowing greent light. "here take this magical lettuce! It contains a great and mysterious power of which only the greatest of lettuce farmers know of and understant, I can forsee that you shall need it in your quest."

"how can you tell I will need this?" asked ned stark

"we lettuce farmers know many thing brave ser, and ay I ask what you shall do nect?"

ned stark gazed to the sky in contemplation for a minute before declaring

" I Must find my family, because family is important, I must know if my wife and son prehaps are still alive!"

"but ser ned, everyone knows their dead!"

"we live in strange times lettuce farmer peasant, and from now on, I must be called a different name while i'm still working underground, and that name shall be"

and ned gave a dramatic pause

"The saturn of the north!" shouted ned stark! " and now I must go, I thank you for your gift and wisdom lettuce farmer"

Ned stark and his mr saturn army ran into the horizon towards the twins, as the lettuce farmer cried with joy as there was now a true hero back in the world