Sera Draco: Um... This is my first time posting a story on FanFiction, but I'v been working on this one for a while. {For my personal benefit.} For now, it's just me...but I'm pretty sure I'v find a muse someday to bicker with me! Just because it's my first time, doesn't mean I want you to hold back. Seriously, chew me out! I know that the characters are really OOC...please forgive me, i'm planning on making more 'fictions in the future that will be IC!
Gojyo X Goku, and this is YAOI. I'm giving you fair warning, my mind is at least as dirty as Gojyo's, probably even dirtier! :3
Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, otherwise the rating would not be T... Though the author of this story is a Goddess more fit than Kanzeon...
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They were driving. After hours of driving, they were STILL driving. Actually, Hakkai was the one driving. Goku slept in the back, and Sanzo just sat there smoking his Marlboros. Gojyo was in the back, thinking. And thinking. And thinking. And trying to stay quiet. Finally, though, Goku's snores pushed him over the edge.
"Wake UP, you stupid monkey!" Gojyo yelled, hitting the hop of Goku's head at the same time.
"OUCH! What didja do that for?!" Goku woke up after banging his face on the bottom of the floor bed in the jeep. "Stupid water sprite! Idiot kappa!" he yelled.
"If you're going to call me a name, baka monkey, pick a language!"
"My heads' all jumbled thanks to you! How am I 'sposed to think?!"
"Like you ever did any thinking anyway!"
"I think!"
"Do not!"
"Can so!"
"Yeah, right!"
"I can too think!"
"Oh yeah, prove it! What is seven plus nine?"
"..."
"So, what is it? Well?"
"I'm thinking!"
"Haha, you can't think to save-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!" Sanzo cut in sharply, making the bickering duo in the back cling to each other in fright.
"Sanzo, there's no need to yell," Hakkai tried to calm the angry priest down, "But you two in the back know how Sanzo gets,"Hakkai added, "You shouldn't bicker so much."
"I can't help it if Goku is a stupid monkey!"
"It's not my fault Gojyo is a perverted kappa!" Gojyo and Goku yell in sync.
"I DON'T CARE! SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!" Sanzo was in a bad mood. He had just smoked the last of his cigarettes. If they didn't get to a town soon, he felt like he was going to snap. His body already screamed for more nicotine, he could feel it. He patted himself down, checking all of his pockets to make sure he was completely out, then sighing and placing his arm back on the door of the Jeep, annoyed, when he confirmed his dilemma.
"I'm hungry…" Goku said under his breath.
"You're always hungry, monkey!" Gojyo replied.
"But now i'm MORE hungry! Hakkai! How close are we to the town?" Goku's stomach growled, as if on cue.
"Not much longer now," Hakkai told him. "Almost there….sigh…" Hakkai was feeling really worn down for some reason. And his nose felt ticklish.
"Can't this thing go any faster? I'm out of cigarettes." Sanzo told Hakkai grouchily.
"I'm afraid not," Hakkai felt a tingle in his nose. "Hakuruu is getting ti-ti-ti-ACHOO!" Hakkai sneezed, and the Jeep swerved, almost hitting a tree.
"WHOA!" First it was Gojyo.
"HIIIII!" Next Goku screamed and landed on Gojyo's' lap, only to be pushed to the floor.
"Fuck! What the hell, Hakkai?!" Sanzo looked shocked, and his knuckles were white, one hand against the door of the Jeep and the other clutching onto the dashboard.
"Gomen," Hakkai answered, straightening their path. "Sorry, I think i'm coming down with something."
"What? Hakkai? Sick?" Goku peeled himself off the floor and squeezed in between Sanzo and Hakkai, looking concerned.
"Sit down in your seat, monkey! The last thing we need is another one of those swerves," Sanzo ordered Goku.
"I'm sure i'll be fine," Hakkai looked like another sneeze was coming on, his eyes squinting. "And we should be at the next town in around twenty minutes, so don't wor-wor-wor-ACHOO!" Hakkai sneezed again, bumping his head on the wheel with a loud "THUNK". He managed to keep the car straight this time, though.
"Hakkai, are you sure you're fine? I could drive," Gojyo offered.
"No, i'b sure I can ma'e it," Hakkai sounded a bit nasal, now, his mouth open, and nose clogged.
"Just don't kill me," Sanzo sighed. "Watch out for potholes, and if you crash the Jeep, kill the two morons in the back." He added.
"Sanzo, that's meeeeeeaaaaan!" Goku complained.
"I am NOT dying! I haven't had sex for close to a week, and i'm not going out horny!" Gojyo protested.
"Ewww, that's gross, you pervy water sprite!" Goku stuck out his tongue and pretended to throw up.
"You wouldn't get it, monkey. Too civilized for a primate such as yourself." Gojyo insulted Goku.
"I'm not a monkey! I am Goku! And at least i'm not a perverted kappa!" Goku yelled back.
"If-you-two-don't-stop-arguing-I-will-shoot-you-both." Sanzo said in a low voice, all in one breath and with clenched teeth. " DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" He exploded, turning his head to face the two in the back, grappling with each other.
"Yes, Sir!" they both said, whimpering and stopping their fighting so as to not be murdered by the pissed-off monk.
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