Yay! First story!...yeah, that's all I had to say. Ummm...anyway, I was bored and I hate Itachi so yeah. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, there would be way more violence and swearing. :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Follow him around all day, point at random objects every second and say, "Hey Mr. Sunshine, what's that?!"

2. Start calling him Weasel Boy

3. After calling him Weasel Boy, demote him to Ferret

4. Follow him around and list every reason why Sasuke is way better then he is

5. Ask him constantly why he didn't kill Sasuke

6. When he's sleeping, dye his hair pink

7. Then dye his hair orange

8. When he's sleeping, style his hair so that it permanetly looks like Sasuke's hair

9. Dye his clothes pink

10. Poke him constantly

11. Steal his diary, read it out loud to everyone in the Akatsuki, and then post it on the internet

12. Ask him if he wears contacts

13. Ask him why he has wrinkles

14. Tell him Kisame and him would make a cute couple

15. Call him Itchy

16. Refer to him as a girl

17. Call him Chi-Chi (ItaCHI) really loudly in front of everyone, in public, and in front of Sasuke

18. Sell him to some crazed fangirl on ebay

19. ...or boy

20. When you are sitting there in total silence next to him, all of a sudden scream really loudly. When he asks you what's wrong, look at him like he's a freak and ask

him why he asked that. When he said because you screamed, say, "...Did you forget to take your medicine today?"

21. Ask him if his arm is broken. If he says no and asks you why you asked, you say, "Well, you always have it stick out of your coat...even when you're fighting!

You look like you're retarded or something."

22. Shout, "Itachi, I've found your long lost brother!" and then hold up a weasel

23. Jump on his back at random moments and refuse to let go.

24. When he throws you off, start running in circles around him and scream, "ITACHI'S GAY!!!"

25. Glomp him

26. Show him crack pairings on the internet

27. Rub lotion on his face and exclaim, "It'll get rid of those nasty wrinkles!"

28. Ask him if he's high

29. When he stares at you angrly, suddenly yell out, "RAPE!!!"

30. Steal his nail polish

31. Paint his room hot pink

32. Tell him Kisame wants to make out with him

33. When he's about to attack someone, trip him

34. When he's not looking, slip a kitten into his cloak. Then when he unbuttons it and trying to look all evil, the kitten will pop its head out while meowing and make everyone else die of laughing at him

35. Give him happy pills

36. After the happy pills fade away, talk about how happy he seemed with making out with Kisame while he was on those pills. Then watch him scream and try to burn his lips off

37. Sing the "Just keep swimming" song to him whenever he looks grumpy (which is all the time)

38. Ask him if he has any weed. When he says no scream, "I know you're lying! I mean just look at your eyes, you're high right now!"

39. When he's sitting down and being totally quiet, take a 10 foot stick and randomly poke him with it

40. Grab his ear when he's about to fight someone and pull him away while saying, "What have I told you about being evil, young man?"

41. Poke his nose over and over again