Title: Jerk Nails
Author: OboeShoes
Fandom: HIMYM
Pairings/Characters: Barney, Robin
Ratings/Warnings: PG – Mild spoilers for 4x10
Wordcount: 536
Summary: Robin questions Barney's weekly ritual.
Note: Reposted from LJ, username oboeshoes ^^
-------------
Friday night rolled around, but despite the impending weekend Marshall was working late. An unhappy Lily was persuaded to haunt their favorite bar and be entertained by the remaining three. Nobody felt like drinking anything but beer for the time being, and soon as they approached the bottom of their first bottles Ted and Lily put a pause on the conversation to get a second round. This left Barney and Robin sharing the same side of the booth with their backs to the bar.
Barney hadn't quite adhered to Lily's declaration of 'pause' and continued to make his point about B-Movie actors. His hands were making subtle gestures to emphasize his words and caught Robin's attention. She grabbed the closest one and drew it to herself, studying his fingers with confusion.
"What happened to your Jerk Nails?"
He cocked an eyebrow. She pursed her lips.
"Come on, Barney, I know you get a mani-pedi once a week. Did you skip your last, what, five?"
"Once a week," he maintained. "Always on a Sunday night. Haven't missed a Sunday in eighty-three weeks."
"Sunday?"
Robin seemed preoccupied, studying the tiny lines, the texture, the tiny chip in his ring-fingernail. He was unfazed by the contact, and had the look someone who didn't mind explaining something painfully obvious, "End of the weekend."
"So?" She still hadn't let go. Her fingertips traced the tendons on the back of his hand up to the fingertips, ghosting over skin and nails that looked so curiously normal. What could he possibly be up to that his hands looked like this after only a week?
"I meet with important clients towards the beginning of the week. Good hygiene is essential to professionalism. Some cultures are very picky about hands, and I wouldn't have a job if my cuticles offended potential business partners."
"Oh. Why not Monday morning, then? Or Saturday?"
"Robin. Please. How else would I score so much on the weekends? My ridiculous levels of awesome take their toll on my hands over the week, making it easier to pick up chicks. By the time Friday rolls around, I'm good to go for some weekend fun: jerk-nails gone, but not quite Wolverine grade."
His relaxed hand still rested in both of her curious ones. The contact had an odd, slightly relaxing effect on the both of them. She turned the one hand over to run her fingertips over his faintly coarse palm. "Geeze, if you do this much damage in a week, I'd hate to see what your hands would look like if you skipped," she mused absently, following the big crease across the middle.
"You do like it rough, don't you Scherbatsky?"
"No," she hiccupped, dropping his hand like a hot brick and trying her damndest not to giggle. He chuckled suggestively, nodding only twice because Ted and Lily chose this moment to return and distributed the new drinks. Robin immediately launched into the conversation that had been put on hold short minutes earlier.
Still seeing the vaguest hint of a blush on Robin's cheeks, Barney smirked. He slowly drew his hand across the wooden tabletop and halfway up the side of the bottle before he picked up his freshly opened beer.