Teasing Severus Snape
By HufflepuffEdwardCullen13
AN: I don't own Harry Potter or anything you might recognize. No flames please!
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lily Evans was sitting under a gigantic oak tree on her street in the northern part of England. She was patiently waiting for her two friends, Elizabeth Mortlake and Severus Snape, to join her. Lizzie and Severus were Lily's best friends, but even though they all went to Hogwarts, they never got an opportunity to be together. Lizzie was a brunette Ravenclaw with a sharp wit and a quick tongue. Severus was an outcasted Slytherin who was smart, but relied on dark magic. Lily was a Gryffindor with intelligence and courage. The three were childhood friends and were very close.
Finally Lily spotted Lizzie and Severus coming up the road. Lizzie ran the rest of the way and practically mauled Lily by giving her a hug.
"Goodness, Lizzie," cried Lily.
"Sorry, Lil. I'm just overexcited to see you. How have you been? Dare I ask about Petty?"
"I've been good, but let's not get on the subject of Petty. How have you been?"
"Alright. Just go back this week from visiting family in Germany."
"Oh, sounds fun. How 'bout you, Sev?"
Severus waited and said his hellos a little quieter than Lizzie. "My holiday's been alright."
"Now, now, Sev," said Lizzie teasingly. "We promised not to be cynical at the world today. This is our last summer before we're out of Hogwarts. Let's go have some fun."
The three of them sat under the tree again. Lizzie decided to laid on her back, while Lily and Severus placed their backs up against the tree. After a few moments of silence, Lizzie spoke.
"Lil, what are you gonna do after Hogwarts?"
"Probably go into Auroring and hopefully marry and have children. You?"
"I'm going to work in the Magical Law Enforcement office," said Lizzie. "What about you, Sev?"
The hooked-nosed teen stared up into the sky. "I don't know."
"You know, Sev, I always pictured you as a teacher at Hogwarts," said Lily thoughtfully.
"I can see it now," said Lizzie while she sat up to face the other two. "Severus Snape, the potions master!"
"Why not Defense Against the Dark Arts?"
"Oh, come on, Sev. You know Dumbledore would never give you the Defense Against the Dark Arts post. You would drop the 'Defense Against' part!"
"Hardy, har, har," said Severus as Lily and Lizzie burst into giggles.
"Cheer up, Sev," said Lily sincerely, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "We're just teasing you. None the less, I can picture you as a potions master."
"Yeah," giggled Lizzie. "I can picture the first lesson for the poor firsties. It'll be filled with Sev's boring, long introduction."
"Hey!" Severus was ignored once again as the girls fell into another bout of giggles.
" 'I don't expect you will really understand' ", said Lizzie, getting up and crossing her arms mimicking Severus. " 'The beauty of the softly simmering cauldrons with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep throught human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses'."
Lilly joined in as Lizzie was overtaken by giggles. " 'I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderhead as I usually have to teach'."
The trio we howling with laughter.
"I just feel so sorry for the poor firstie who isn't paying attention to Sev's lovely speech," said Lizzie, wiping a tear from her hazel eyes.
"He'd probably ask the poor dear what he would get if he added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood-"
"Which creates the Draught of Living Death," added Severus.
"And where he would look to find a beozar-" said Lily.
"In a goat's stomach, duh," said Severus.
"Oh, oh, what about asking the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
"They're the same thing, also known as aconite," recited Severus.
"Then, Sev'll proceed to become angry with the class for not writing it down," chuckled Lizzie.
"What do you bet that the poor boy will be James' son?" giggled Lily.
"So, he'll be a prat, just like his father?"
"Sev! James isn't as horrid as you have come to believe."
Severus snickered and crossed his arms defensively. "So, does this mean you fancy him?"
"You're twisting my words, Sev. I said he's not as bad as you believe he is."
"Whatever", mumbled Severus as the girls chatted on about something else Sev never cared about.
SSLESSLESSLESSLE
Twenty-five year old Severus was brought back to his senses back to his lonesome sleeping quarters at Hogwarts. That was the last time that Lily Evans and himself had talked civilly. Eight years had flown by quickly. Severus had gone to work for Lord Voldemort as he had guessed. Lizzie married some Hufflepuff in the same year as them named Xenophilius Lovegood. They have a four year old daughter. Lily,… Lily had married that arrogant prat James Potter. Their son, Harry, was about five years old. But Lily was gone, gone forever.
Severus pushed his black hair out of his face in shame. He never told Lily how much he loved her. Even though he did try to save her by defying the Dark Lord and supporting Dumbledore, his heart still had not been the same since when he heard that she died. Lily died to save that boy, her son.
The ironic thing is that Lizzie and Lily had guessed right at which post Severus would acquire at Hogwarts. He was indeed the potions master, and used Lizzie and Lily's speech every first lesson for the first years. He still heard Lily giggling and talking every time during the speech. This was a way for Lily to be with Severus forever.
Bewitching the mind, … ensnaring the senses…
~ ~ ~ The end ~ ~ ~
Hope you enjoyed it. It turned out to be a little less humorous that it was in my first draft.
HufflepuffEdwardCullen13