Title: Days in the CO
Rating: T
Pairings: Too many to name. They're an orgy /shot
Summary: Just a day in the life of Organization XIII in Castle Oblivion
Disclaimer: My friends and I are special and we make our own cracked out versions of how the characters act behind the camera. We wish we owned these characters, but sadly, all we can do is cosplay them.
Notes: CRACK. CRACK. AND MORE CRACK. It's nothing but a parody so don't take this too seriously. Also, the grammar is off for certain reasons. And I use italics too much. What can you do?
Chapter One: The Virgin Clause
Organization XIII, a manipulative organization comprised of the most lethal and annoying people in the entire universe, much less a planet. They specialize in capturing people's hearts for their own personal gains, acting like total twats in Castle Oblivion (also called Catsle Oblivion because there are a few of the maniacal species around), and just general fuckery by messing with one another's heads.
Living with 13 people at one time can get pretty hectic and ridiculous, but what can you do? They're almost famiry (said lovingly with an accent and whatnot).
Still, you would think with having so many people in one household they would understand the work privacy. And not just privacy, but fucking privacy. It had to be in italics in order to prove a fucking point. The reason you would hope they would be able to understand the concept of the word was because more than half the time, some of the members were screwing each other. Literally fucking somewhere within the walls, maybe on the walls, or through the walls-you get where I'm going with this-but no, of fucking course they wouldn't know what that word meant.
Which was the reason Roxas was pretty much fucking livid to see one of the stunningly painted blue walls of his room blasted open to reveal a gigantic, gaping hole, the size of an elephant. What is fucking privacy and how does one get such a thing? Because in Catsle Oblivion, no one fucking has it, especially not this little guy.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" He didn't even have to yell the name to know who it was. Vexen, the Organization's fantastically nutty scientist on the team, had just been the psycho to blow a hole into his fucking room. And he could bet it was for no good reason at all.
Not to mention, he wasn't alone. There were several people behind him.
Xemnas, or Mansex as they so affectionately called him these days, was leaning against part of the wall, on the left side of Vexen. He was surprised to see Roxas, like this wasn't his fucking room that just got blasted, and there weren't chunks of debris that was strewn about. Like he expected to run into the kitchen for a quick snack or some shit. That fatass.
Behind Xemnas-looking like he was humping the bastard more than anything else-was Saix. He was some number that was way down the line, but was pretty much taking it up the butt from superior anyway, and he grinned as he looked over his shoulder, seeing Roxas with a small salute.
That fucking smile was always creepy. Too friggin' creepy at that.
Next to butt munch-I mean Saix- was Marluxia. He looked like he was ready to devour Roxas, seeing as the poor boy was tousled from a nap, and his shirt was riding up. It was no surprise that Marly was ready to get with everyone and anyone inside of the castle, seeing it was his fucking property apparently, and grabbed more asses than a pants could dress them. He also brought pets into the castle, most of them cats, which was why the place was called Catsle Oblivion.
Not that you would ever see these cats in the games, I mean really. How would that look? He actually shoved them all into Vexen's lab at that period of time. But then the castle blew up and it was raining kittens. Oops breaking the fourth wall. Back to the story!
"AGAIN I ASK THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DOING?" It was really too goddamn early in the morning/afternoon/whateverthefucktime it was. Roxas wanted to get some more sleep in, seeing as Axel had stayed over in the room, and not let him sleep a wink. And it was not because they were doing anything, really, they were just up all night talking, no for fucks sake, that's all they were doing!
But of course his fellow orgy members didn't believe him, no matter how much he told them the truth. That fuck Axel didn't help either.
"We heard some strange noises and thought we should investigate. For science, you know."
"You blew my fucking wall in for science?" Roxas grabbed the nearest thing, which was a half naked Axel, and tried to fling him at Vexen. Instead, he was able to get Axel off his bed (and he's still knocked out) and tumblr along with him, landing right on top of him. Roxas had the blush the color of cherry red, which only made Marluxia and Vexen take a few pictures.
For science of course. The fuckers.
Roxas got up, summoning his key blade and the two photographers took off screaming, "AXEL'S TOOK ROXAS' VIRGINITY. EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! THE TSUN-TSUN BRAT ISN'T A VIRGIN ANYMORE!"
Saix was cackling, even though he's the real whore of Orgy XIII, seeing as he slept with about 50 other people in different worlds, some of which, he couldn't even remember their faces. Roxas' face paled, imagining that everyone was going to compare them now, just because there was the rummor floating about. He hated living with 13 fucktards, but what could he do? Running away? Not an option, Axel was one clingy bitch. Maybe one day. Just not soon.
Swinging his key blade, he tried to scoot the couple of the superior and his fucktoy out of his ruined room, and when they finally left, they were screaming even more obscene things like, " ROXAS TAKES IT! AXEL GIVES IT! OOH GIVE IT TO ME BABY! I LIKE THE WAY IT BURNS!"
The small blonde vowed to get them all in their sleep. Slitting their throats, pranks, whatever was necessary. Maybe he should wake up the fire crotch and see if he could do something. It was his fault anyway.
Now everyone believed he wasn't a fucking virgin.
But he is, he really fucking is.
"Hey Roxy, you up for round three?"
Or not.
Next up: Saix's turn. He's such a ho. |8