A/N: Thanks to Hikasa, who was a beta reader for this story. Most of the Hidan's swearing belong to her, for which I'm very grateful:) It really helped to keep him in character.
There are no actual pairings, though if you want there to be one, you can find some hints;)
I've got a sudden strange idea and decided to write a story about it. I hope you'll like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, so the characters are not mine.
"Sasori! Yo, puppet-freak!"
"Get lost! I'm working!" The red haired man snapped, not turning away from his task. His white haired companion sent him a glare but Sasori didn't seem to be phased by it at all.
"Fuck, Sasori. Listen to me for once!" The man tried again.
"What about the words"Get lost" don't you understand, Hidan?" The redhead growled out, annoyance lacing his tone. He isolated himself from other Akatsuki members, especially from Deidara, so he would be able to work in peace, but now he had to deal with some stupid intruder and it wasn't even the blonde bomber was bugging him!
Sasori's hands moved swiftly but carefully, almost gently, carving every curve of a new puppet. It gave him peace of mind, the rare quiet moments that he could enjoy when he could devote himself completely to his work were too precious to waste them on pointless conversations.
Hidan growled – he definitely didn't like being ignored, there was only one person who could not pay attention to him and stay alive nonetheless; though maybe it had something to do with the fact that Kakuzu couldn't be killed that easily…When the redhead completely turned away from him the Jashinist's temper snapped. That day Sasori had the honorto hear the most sophisticated curses Hidan had in his arsenal, most of them he had never even imagined, and they were all addressed to him.
When Hidan moved from swearing to trying to threaten the puppeteer in ways the last one couldn't even say if they were physically possible, they heard an excited "Un!" behind. Both men froze, then slowly turned to the source of the deadly sound. There he stood – the cause of all Sasori's headaches, metaphorical of course.
"Danna, un!" He said instead of greeting with a huge smile on his over cheerful face and a mischievous glint in one visible big blue eye.
Hidan smirked, he wouldn't even have to kill Sasori for his ignorance, Deidara's bugging was worse, much worse.
"I came here just to warn you, Sasori. Instead of fucking ignoring me like you almost always fucking do, you should've just listened to me for once andyou could have had a fucking chance to escape." That's what you get for ignoring me. He added mentally. With that the white haired Akatsukimember turned away and tried to leave. Tried – the main word here. The thing was he had tried to leave, but he was pulled back by an extremely overenthusiastic blonde.
"You don't need to leave! You'll be judging, un!"
"Judging? Are you going to fight with Sasori?" He asked with interest. The maniacal glint had already crept into his violet eyes, but Deidara didn't hesitate to ruin his fun.
"No! Of course not! I don't want to hurt my danna!"
"Huh, maybe you are just afraid that he will hurt you?" Hidan teased evilly.
The blonde glared at him, but then turned to the redhead. Sasori was quietly carving a doll's right arm, inserting in it a few poisoned kunai and a rope (just in case), hoping that the quarrel with Hidan will strayDeidara's mind away from his reason of coming there in the first place.
He didn't get such luck.
"Danna! I want to talk about art, un."
Sasori growled under his breath. Arguingwith the blond bomber about art was much worse than fighting with him, it was worse than a fight with anyone actually, no matter how strong the opponent was. It really was.
"I don't want to talk with you. Most importantly, right now I'm working."
"But you are always working, un! And I want to talk. I've found a really good argument this time, un!"
"I don't care." Was an emotionless reply.
"Un! Why don't you get it? My art is so much better!"
Sasori turned away from his work. His face gave nothing away to his inner thoughtslike always, but those dark red eyes burned holes in his companion's skull.
"What makes you think that?" He asked slowly, angrily stressing every world.
"Because my art is perfection, un." Deidara stated with a smile on his face. He was so sure in his own art, not even doubting it to be the epitome of perfection.
"How so?"
Deidara slowly but confidently came up to stand in front of the puppeteer. With a grin on his face and hands on his hips he looked down at the other man, who was still sitting on the ground. "Just listen to me, un. And Hidan will tell who is right."
The white haired Akatsuki looked from the excited and over-confident Deidara to annoyed Sasori, who was also waiting for his response. He was sure this argument will turn into a huge fight in the end, someone would get beaten, Deidara most likely.
"Fine." Growled Sasori hoping to get over with it now and forever.
Deidara nodded vigorously, his blond hair falling down and covering his only visible eye in process. With a wave of his hand he put a stray of hair back on its place and started his speech.
"You say the art is eternal, un." The blonde waited for an answer. Sasori scowled but nodded indicating Deidara to continue.
"We both think the art must be perfect. We only differ in what we think that perfection is."
The puppeteer nodded again.
"Good." Deidara nodded too and flashed an annoyingly dazzling smile.
"But nothing can be perfect forever. It just can'tun."
Sasori growled for the umpteenth time that day, the blonde bomber just couldn't get that the puppeteer wasn't interested in those stupid arguments. The redhead didn't want to be involved in a quarrel or in a fight, but the blonde was asking for it! "Well, of course, nothing can last forever if you explode it right after creation!"
"Damn, he has a point there blondie."Hidan stated calmly. Both artists glared at him.
"But why can't you understand, un?" Deidara started in a tone in which mother explains something obvious to her child. "Even if you do not destroy it, it will be ruined by time itself! It will rot and become ugly. Only the first moment after creation the art is perfect but in the next second it already starts its long and slow path to complete and utter ruin, un."
"If you take a proper care of it, then itwill stay perfect for ages."
"Danna, there is something that you're forgetting, something really important un! Everything will eventually fade from the perfection that it once holds. When that happens, it will only hold the remains of its previous beauty, un! But if you destroy it in the moment of it's perfection you'll always only remember how beautiful it was, un."
Deidara grinned triumphantly while Sasori sent him another murderous glare.
The idiot thinks he's winning, but he doesn't even understand what real art is. He's too young for this. And he's no match to me in that area.
"I've came to a realization," the inconspicuous blonde continued his musings. "Your art is a step below mine."
Hidan could swear he saw how Sasori's hand twitched in the direction of the kunai, peacefully lying on the grass. Deidara didn't notice the movement of the puppet master's hand though. If he did maybe he would have stopped, but the bomber was still happily rambling, already celebrating his danna's defeat in his twisted mind. "I mean, you create perfection, but I, as an artist of next generation, next step, destroy it! I suppose this proves that my art is what we would callcomplete perfection, un."
For everyone except the blonde bomber, it was obvious that Sasori didn't share his point of view. He was furious beyond any point; his hand was clutching the kunai tightly, his red eyes narrowed dangerously at the one cause of his troubles. Hidan guessed that the puppeteer was thinking of the easiest and most efficient way to kill the blonde, not forgetting to make it as painful as possible either. A dark, evil smile appeared on the almost always emotionless pale face, and the Jashinist could tell Sasori had finally chosen one that would fit this situation the best. Maybe he'll make a doll of Deidara? He though with a great interest. Feeling a big fight coming; the white haired man took a few steps back in order not to get in the way of Sasori's fury and waited patiently for the redhead to attack.
But then a sudden idea hit him, so sudden and so strange that he stepped in between the two, most likely risking his life in doing so. The red haired man sent him a look that clearly said "Try to interfere and I'll kill you too."
Sasori looked really threatening even with his childish appearance, but the Jashinist wanted to try out his idea so badly, he was ready for the puppeteer's wrath. Oh, of course, the fact that he couldn't be killed played its role also. And, well, he decided that if Sasori attacked he could just step aside and let the man stab a kunai right into his aim, that was if Deidara wouldn't be quick enough evade the blow, which was doubtful – he wasn't in the Akatsuki for nothing after all. Still, the Leader surely didn't choose the blonde for his brains. He couldn't help but to add mentally.There is no way that Deidara was in the Akatsuki because he had a brain in that empty shell he called a skull.
"Deidara, I've got a question for you." Hidan said.
"Un?"
"You say, blowing up something perfect is your art, don't you?"
"Yes!" The blonde answered happily, thinking he finally persuaded someone.
"Does that mean that your perfection mostly depends on how big the explosion is?"
"I guess it does. And on how beautiful and colorful it is, un."
"Well…your best ninja technique, meaning your greatest explosion, is self-explosion, isn't it?"
"Un…yes." Answered Deidara. The blonde's tone wasn't so sure anymore. He realized that Hidan's questions were not random, but couldn't understand where his train of thought was leading to. The puppeteer just listened to their conversation, also confused but still wanting nothing but to throttle the blonde.
"Sasori's perfection is he himself – the best of his puppets."
"Yes…"
The red haired man growled out what sounded like the beginning of a curse. He was getting tired of the pointless talk and only wanted to beat the crap out of his brainless partner.
"Does that mean…" Hidan started slowly. "…that in your eyes…the epitome of perfection will be for you and Sasori…to commit a double suicide?"
"Huh?!"
"Un?!"
Two different set of eyes looked at him with the same shock, both men processing what was just said.
Fuck, I need to do this more often. This is all too fucking funny!Hidan thought and then they shouted simultaneously:
"Are you out of your mind?! Don't give him such ideas!"
"But I don't want to hurt my danna, un! I don't want to die either!"
The Jashinist smirked and turned to the blonde. "Just think about it, Dei-chan. Wouldn't that be marvelous? Don't you want to achieve the perfection?"
"But…but…Un." The blonde was obviously in a loss of words.
"Are you already backing away? Don't you want to prove your danna wrong? To show him how beautiful you art is?"
"Un…I want danna to understand my art, but…" Deidara's voice was quiet and he stumbled on every word, his gaze fixated on the ground. "I…un…"
"You both – shut up!" Snapped Sasori, much to Hidan's disappointment. "Let's go, Deidara. Leader wanted to speak tous."
"Did he, un?" The blonde asked confused.
The white haired man only sighed, disappointed that his brilliant idea didn't work. Though he can always tempt Deidara later.
"Yes." The red haired puppeteer answered irritably and quickly went away from the white haired sadist, though not before making sure Deidara would follow him.
After that, both men avoided serious conversations on the matter. All their arguments about art consisted in bickering, shouting and snapping on each other. The only arguments mentioned "My art is better that yours" and slews of curses that were sent back and forth between them. No more thoughtful ideas or Hidan's suggestions were to be integrated into their arguments, lest they wished to experience something like what they just had once more.
I would be so happy to get a review. So, please leave me one:)