Random crap and ranting
Please don't take anything I type to literally as I already have one friend seeing a psychiatrist I don't need me in there to!
I was sitting in my kitchen with Jim (my invisible friend who lives in the attic and looks surprisingly like Ron Weasley if he had stubble and blonde tips, yes I said tips). We were playing grape slice (throwing grapes into the air then trying to chop them in half with a butchers knife) when there was a knock at the door. I answered the door to find a very distraught Ginny running around throwing tarot cards at my neighbours cats.
"Evil, evil your all spies for Voldemort" she screamed as the cats hissed and tried to catch the cards. " You!" she pointed to me.
"ME?" I asked expecting her to turn on me with the cards.
"Yes You" she replied running over to me. I started to feel a little uncomfortable but luckily Jim had came from the kitchen and was offering invisible support.
"What?"
"Do you know the muffin man?" she asked.
"The muffin man?"
"The muffin man!"
"That lives in Hawthorn drive! No… wait… that's the marshmallow woman, nope sorry don't know the muffin man, Why?" I asked now curious.
"I can't tell you out hear the cats are listening!" she pointed to a black and white moggie that had stopped right in front of us.
"Bob are you listening in to our conversation?" the cat shook his head and walked away as Ginny walked into my house.
"So what do you ant the muffin man for?" I asked as we sat down with a cup of tea and an empty cup for Jim.
"The muffin man has a dog called Deefur!" Ginny told me as she shuffled her tarot cards.
"Deefur?" I thought this was a very strange name for a dog.
"Yes Deefur, Deefur dog. Any way this dog can travel through space and time by just standing on its tail and I think Voldemort wants the dog so he can travel back in time to kill Harry when he is really young and vulnerable!" Ginny told me as she started to dish out the cards.
"So you want to get a hold of the dog first but you need to talk to the muffin man to get to the dog and you thought that I knew the muffin man and the cats are with Voldemort because of Deefur dog." Things were beginning to make sense (Who the hell am I kidding I was still completely warped.)
"Exactly but I need to go now so I'll leave you with this one piece of advice." She put on this very mystical and spooky voice and said "Don't run with scissors, they can take your eye out if your not careful." Then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Well Jim what do you make of that" I asked but as usual he didn't answer but I knew he understood.
Well what do you think of the first chapter of my random crap and ranting I'm telling you it wasn't easy being to crap. Next chapter we will have Harry Potter and the tea pot of doom please all constructive criticism is welcome.
Please don't take anything I type to literally as I already have one friend seeing a psychiatrist I don't need me in there to!
I was sitting in my kitchen with Jim (my invisible friend who lives in the attic and looks surprisingly like Ron Weasley if he had stubble and blonde tips, yes I said tips). We were playing grape slice (throwing grapes into the air then trying to chop them in half with a butchers knife) when there was a knock at the door. I answered the door to find a very distraught Ginny running around throwing tarot cards at my neighbours cats.
"Evil, evil your all spies for Voldemort" she screamed as the cats hissed and tried to catch the cards. " You!" she pointed to me.
"ME?" I asked expecting her to turn on me with the cards.
"Yes You" she replied running over to me. I started to feel a little uncomfortable but luckily Jim had came from the kitchen and was offering invisible support.
"What?"
"Do you know the muffin man?" she asked.
"The muffin man?"
"The muffin man!"
"That lives in Hawthorn drive! No… wait… that's the marshmallow woman, nope sorry don't know the muffin man, Why?" I asked now curious.
"I can't tell you out hear the cats are listening!" she pointed to a black and white moggie that had stopped right in front of us.
"Bob are you listening in to our conversation?" the cat shook his head and walked away as Ginny walked into my house.
"So what do you ant the muffin man for?" I asked as we sat down with a cup of tea and an empty cup for Jim.
"The muffin man has a dog called Deefur!" Ginny told me as she shuffled her tarot cards.
"Deefur?" I thought this was a very strange name for a dog.
"Yes Deefur, Deefur dog. Any way this dog can travel through space and time by just standing on its tail and I think Voldemort wants the dog so he can travel back in time to kill Harry when he is really young and vulnerable!" Ginny told me as she started to dish out the cards.
"So you want to get a hold of the dog first but you need to talk to the muffin man to get to the dog and you thought that I knew the muffin man and the cats are with Voldemort because of Deefur dog." Things were beginning to make sense (Who the hell am I kidding I was still completely warped.)
"Exactly but I need to go now so I'll leave you with this one piece of advice." She put on this very mystical and spooky voice and said "Don't run with scissors, they can take your eye out if your not careful." Then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Well Jim what do you make of that" I asked but as usual he didn't answer but I knew he understood.
Well what do you think of the first chapter of my random crap and ranting I'm telling you it wasn't easy being to crap. Next chapter we will have Harry Potter and the tea pot of doom please all constructive criticism is welcome.