Penname: aroemmich

Title: Always, With the *Bleep*ing Mums

Summary: When Carlisle thinks he's already won, what will cause him to finally lose? Beware the
mums Daddy C.

Disclaimer: I own none of it. But Savvy owns me!

Contest: Die, Daddy C, Die

A/N I'm on Twitter under FicFloveR. Sometimes I'm funny, most of the time I'm not, but stop by if you've got nothing better to do! As for this story... well I disturbed myself. I almost backed out, but pushed through. This is something new for me, so... I think I went a little crazy.

Carlisle Cullen was infuriated with that fucking kid. That stupid prick almost blew his opportunity with Real Volturi pulling that goddamn stunt on the field earlier today.

Carlisle wasn't stupid, he knew who that other boy was. He was the one that provided the lovely pictures of one Miss Isabella Swan in a drug fueled threesome. At least that guy got something good out of her before he ran her out of town. Now Carlisle was going to have to ruin her again just to show little Eddie that he can't fuck with his future like that.

Carlisle had to give up his chance at playing professionally when Esme showed up pregnant, and he refused to let Edward fuck this up for him too.

Carlisle wanted to throttle that little bastard. He should have marched in the locker room and pinned him to the wall by his fucking throat. Too many witnesses there, though. Edward had to know what would be coming once they made it home. Carlisle was untouchable there.

Carlisle threw back what was left of his whiskey and rose from the bar stool. He needed to get back to the hotel and make sure Edward would be ready to leave first thing after his training was over.

As Carlisle stumbled through the streets he passed a vendor selling fresh mums. Fucking mums. Carlisle had hated them ever since Esme decided to leave him surrounded by them. He tried to ignore the skinny salesman as he walked by, but was not so lucky.

"Sir, you like to buy, yes?"

Fucking asshole was trying to sell shit in broken English. Carlisle was very drunk and he was very angry. Those two things never led to anywhere good, just ask Edward.

Carlisle turned and leered at the young Hispanic man.

"No, I don't like to buy, you piece of shit. I'll show you what I like to do."

Fueled by rage and Jack Daniels, Carlisle proceeded to pick up the closest potted mum. The wide-eyed boy watched in sickened fascination as Carlisle one handedly released himself from his pants, hard. Carlisle proceeded to fuck the potted plant until there was nothing left but the plastic holder it had once lived in.

Carlisle brushed the dirt from his still hard dick and tucked himself back in his pants. Before he turned and strode away he made sure to spit on the young man. That's right, no one tells Carlisle Cullen what he 'like to buy'.

Two blocks later he found himself back in the hotel lobby. He caught sight of his reflection in the glass of the door as he entered, noting that he was covered in potting soil. No matter, he simply brushed away what he could as he marched to the elevator bank, leaving a trail of mess behind him. Besides, he figured someone needed to earn their wages here.

As he casually waited for the elevator he felt the presence of someone next to him. He turned and locked eyes with Heidi, the desperate cock slut that worked for Aro.

"My goodness, Carlisle, it looks as though you've had quite a rough night."

Those words from anyone else would sound concerned, caring even. From Heidi they simply sounded like, 'I want to fuck you clean again'. Carlisle was hit with a stroke of inspiration at her tone and simply smiled.

When the elevator arrived he held his hand out and let her go in first. As soon as the doors were closed they were on each other like they were getting paid for it. Well, in Heidi's case, she probably was. Fucking whore.

Carlisle breathed in to her ear, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything Mr. Cullen."

"I am going to fuck you to prove a point to my son, and you need to do what I say without complaint."

A brief look of hesitation passed over Heidi's face, but they both knew she would say yes. So she did.

The elevator pinged, alerting the amorous duo of their arrival. Carlisle pulled Heidi from the elevator and dragged her to the room he was sharing with Edward. Not bothering to waste any time, as soon as they were through the door Carlisle turned on every light in the room.

"Get the fuck up you piece of shit. You need to learn a lesson."

Carlisle yanked Edward from his slumber and threw him in to a chair by the dresser. An impressive feat considering how fucking drunk he was. He bunched the collar of Edwards shirt in his hands and put a finger in his face. "You seem to have forgotten what it means to fuck and duck, so I'm going to refresh your memory."

Edward tried to hide his panic, but Carlisle saw it, he always saw it.

Without another word Carlisle grabbed Heidi and threw her on the bed. He then proceeded to tear the clothing from her body. She played her part and moaned like the wanton whore she was, and Carlisle believed that she was truly getting aroused by his behavior and having Edward watch.

Carlisle undressed himself, dirt falling all around the floor, and then pulled Heidi to the foot of the bed.

"Up on all fours. I don't need to see your fucking face for this. Oh, and don't even think about touching yourself, this isn't about you."

As soon as Heidi was in position Carlisle thrust in to her. Well, he tried anyway. She had not been aroused enough to make it easy, and he didn't waste time putting on a condom. It took a few painful pushes to get all the way in, and to reach the wetness they needed.

Carlisle began a punishing pace, pulling her hair and smacking her not only on her ass, but on her back and the sides of her face as well. He was so enraged that he couldn't even understand the words coming out of his own mouth.

He was aware that Edward wasn't watching, but he was sure that he was listening. There was no escaping it.

Carlisle finished quickly, pulling out and catching his cum in his hand, before rubbing it on Heidi's face while she still sat there on her knees, panting.

"That's for you, you slut. Keep that."

Carlisle pulled her from the bed, shoved her clothes in her arms and pushed her towards the door. Heidi never protested, she was too busy trying to lick the cum from her lips. Carlisle silently pushed her out in to the hallway, naked, then slammed the door in her face.

He spun quickly and marched over to get in Edwards face.

"That is how you fuck someone and then get rid of them. Isabella will be dealt with when we return. If you do one thing to try and stop me, I will ruin you."

Edward remained stoic, though the green tint of his face gave him away. Disgusted, Carlisle scoffed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. He washed himself thoroughly, trying to make sure no dirt was left from his earlier antics.

As he slipped in to bed later, he vaguely noticed that his dick was itching. Unfortunately the whiskey he had drank suddenly overwhelmed him and he passed out.

Seven hours later Carlisle woke to an empty room. Edward was due to be training, so it explained his absence. Looking around, he took in the mess that he had left in his drunken wake.

Images began returning to him as his head throbbed from dehydration. As he placed his feet on the floor, feeling the grit, he smirked at the memory of defiling that mum. Then he moaned at the memory of defiling that whore.

As soon as his thoughts turned sexual, his mind registered a throbbing in his penis. Remembering that he went bare back the night before had him somewhat panicking. As long as it was something that was curable he was fine.

He stood and stumbled his way in to the brightly lit bathroom where he looked at his still naked form in the mirror. There was a red area on his penis near the base. He held it in his hands, squinting through the fog of his morning eyes. He could tell that there was what appeared to be a blister as well. He couldn't be sure just by looking what STD he may have, but he knew that he shouldn't be showing symptoms this soon after the encounter.

Then again, he did sleep with Mrs. Stanley recently and he knew that she was prone to keeping multiple partners. Fucking fail condoms. Oh well, he would just have to wait and get back to Forks before getting tested and treated.

He dressed and prepared himself to leave so that they could head to the airport as soon as Edward returned.

When Edward finally did return he did not look at his father. Carlisle was aware of what he had done, and held no remorse for it, until he realized that Edward would not meet his eyes.

Carlisle knew he was too hard on the boy, but the alcohol helped him cope, and it made him mean. If his son had to suffer a little more, so that he could suffer a little less, then Carlisle was okay with that.

The trip home was silent and uneventful. The two Cullen men both acted as though nothing were out of the ordinary, but they both knew the previous night was a turning point in their already tenuous relationship. Edward had loved Carlisle when his antics endangered only him, but seeing his father brutalize a woman in that way, willing or not, opened Edwards eyes.

As much as Edward didn't want to admit it, it reminded him of how he had treated several girls. No, he never hit them or smothered them with his sperm, but he was cold and callous to them. All about the taking, never about the giving unless it was what he wanted. That had changed with Bella, and he was sure that seeing his father had killed any desire in himself to treat another human being that way again.

He finally understood what Bella was saying about doing things to other people just because it was the way his father treated him. He was sick of himself.

Carlisle could tell that the Edwards introspection was not going to be beneficial to his efforts of securing him a spot on a world class team. He could see the defiance dancing behind his sons eyes. He was aware that he would have to do something drastic to keep him in line from now on, and he was okay with that.

The plane ride home was painful for Carlisle. His fucking dick was in a constant state of discomfort, the irritation causing him to be perpetually hard. He wanted to scratch it several times, but he tried to keep it discreet.

By the time the plane had landed and they made the long drive home it was late in the evening. Carlisle made sure that Edward went straight to bed since he had an early workout scheduled for the morning with a Real Volturi trainer.

The one good thing out of the last couple of days was that Aro had simply laughed off Edwards on-field behavior. Carlisle had explained that it was charity for some former piece of pussy, and Aro chuckled. Boys will be boys after all. Though he did make sure to have Carlisle promise that no such antics would take place again. Carlisle was all too happy to guarantee it.

With Edward in his own room Carlisle retreated to his shower. He carefully washed over his dick, but not carefully enough. The blister had burst, causing Carlisle a great deal of pain. He howled and cursed. The redness had spread over his entire dick and some down to his balls. Maybe he was having an allergic reaction to something.

Because of the late hour Carlisle simply retrieved a couple of the pain pills he had confiscated from Edward. The narcotics dulled the pain enough that Carlisle was able to sleep for a short while.

The next morning Carlisle rose and limped to the bathroom. He stood at the toilet, preparing to relieve himself noticing that the blister had scabbed up overnight, but that the skin around it was now a black and purplish hue.

He poked at the scab, then drug his finger across it. What he did not expect, what he was not prepared for, was that a chunk of his dick came up with the scab. There was now an eraser sized hole in his dick.

Carlisle began to panic. What the fuck was happening to him? He couldn't wait any longer. When dicks start breaking, Carlisle gets moving.

He dressed as fast as he could in the first clothes he could reach. He practically ran outside, throwing himself in the car, his tires spitting gravel against the side of the house.

He sped past Edward, doing his morning run, and never slowed until he reached the hospital. Once there he entered like he owned the place, barking orders at the staff. No one was going near his dick unless he wanted them to.

In a matter of moments he was ushered in to a room just as one of the doctors came to greet him. Carlisle wasted no time with pleasantries, simply began speaking with the doctor, explaining that Edward seemed to be suffering some atypical symptoms. What? Like Edward would ever know.

The doctor was not sure what it was, but he was certain that it was not a sexually transmitted disease. Carlisle suggested that he would go collect a blood sample from his son, and some tissue samples to be studied under a microscope. He explained that his son was suffering, and understandably embarrassed, therefore necessitating his father performing the normally nurse performed tasks.

He got in his car and drove around town until he parked behind the Thriftway. He pulled out his borrowed hospital issue tourniquet and other assorted items. He somehow managed to obtain all the samples he needed with little effort.

When he returned he turned over the samples, labeled with Edwards information. The doctor continually made his way to Carlisle's office to inquire further about the possible origin of the problem.

Carlisle relayed his story, putting Edwards name in the appropriate places, but never mentioned his drunken fuck fest with the mums. It was irrelevant anyway, and would be hard to explain

Little did he know, what Carlisle failed to notice when he was drunk was the small amount of webbing on the mum he decided to deflower. That particular mum was nearly dead, not having been properly cared for or watered in sometime.

Worst of all he failed to notice the small Brown Recluse spider that resided in that particular plant. But the spider noticed him.

One small bite was all it took.

The worst thing to do when dealing with the venom of that tiny spider was to increase blood flow in the affected area. His little interlude with Heidi was the proverbial nail in the coffin for his dick.

Hours later Carlisle began to panic as his symptoms worsened. All changes were relayed, on behalf of Edward of course, to the doctors. Unfortunately the news he received was fairly grim. They stated that Edwards penis was going to be a total loss, and most likely his testicles and some organs, mainly the bladder.

Carlisle played his part perfectly, high on pain meds, and promised to go home and retrieve his son, who was supposed to be rushed back for surgery.

Carlisle started to freak. He was far too important, and far too busy to lose his dick. He was too important to have something like that happen to him.

Carlisle decided to focus his anger where he always did, at Edward. More specifically he focused on how he could handle the situation with Edward and Bella. He would deal with his son, then he would drive himself to Seattle. No one in Forks would ever know.

After confirming his sons whereabouts Carlisle placed a call to Chief Swans house. He played his part of the concerned father, explaining to Isabella that Edward was in a bit of distress and was asking for her. Would she please come and help to calm him down?

Of course the little slut readily agreed, hanging up before Carlisle could even finish speaking. By the time he made it home she had already arrived. He could hear their voices as he ascended the steps, both wondering what was going on.

He opened Edwards bedroom door the rest of the way finding her looking terribly confused, and Edward terribly afraid.

The glint was there in Carlisle's eyes and Edward could see it. There was no hope that they were going to get out of this unscathed. Carlisle was determined to hurt someone. Edward could only hope that the ire would be directed mostly at himself.

"I'm so glad that you both could be here for this." A pain shot through Carlisle's groin, but he powered through it. "Isabella I'm sure you are aware that the pictures of you on your knees with a dick in both ends is readily available for someone who knows where to look, yes?"

Carlisle delighted in the fact that her face paled.

"You see, it appears that you have managed to distract my son to the point that he is all but throwing away his future. I cannot allow something like that to happen because of someone like you.

"Here's what's going to happen. You will pack your bags and leave tomorrow. If you do, I will make sure those pictures stay in my possession. If you don't I will post those pictures all over town, right after I have your father fired and make sure that he can never have another job for the rest of his pathetic life."

"You can't do this to her, you sick FUCK, it's not her fault!"

"You're right Edward, it's not. But it is my responsibility to make sure that you stay on the path I have created for you, and I will not let some second hand cunt derail you."

Carlisle knew what was about to happen. He saw the look in his sons eye. Edward was preparing to defy him. Carlisle's anger peaked, and he would be having none of it.

Just as Carlisle took a lunging stride towards the pair he felt an enormous pain between his legs. The pain relieved itself as quickly as it had come, though something felt off. Carlisle looked down and watched as something moved in the loose legs of his pants, and felt something against his leg.

Knowing, but disbelieving, he shook his legs, loosening another bout of quick pain and relief.

Carlisle, Edward, and Bella all stared wide eyed at the floor next to Carlisle's foot. There on the floor laid a destroyed, blackened, bloodied dick and a pair of matching testicles.

The sight of blackened and puss filled flesh was enough to cause Isabella to gag, catching Carlisle's unwanted attention.

Carlisle saw red. This bitch had brought him enough trouble. She would not live to tell anyone of his impotence and newly asexual status.

Edward tensed when he saw Carlisle's gaze focus on the girl next to him. He had already decided that when the moment came to choose, he would pick the girl.

Carlisle let out a thundering roar, charging straight at a frightened Isabella. He was going to choke the life from her body and watch, laughing, as the light dimmed from her eyes. He had lost his future, his wife, and recently his most beloved cock. No way would he lose his son.

As if in slow motion, Carlisle watched as Edward pushed Bella out of the way.

Just as Carlisle reached Edward, Edward reflexively dropped his shoulder to defend his body from the onslaught, causing Carlisle to fall over his back. Edward stood as quickly as he could and with a loud 'Fuck You' launched Carlisle in the same direction he was already heading.

The sound of shattering glass registered, but Bella and Edward were not quick enough to realize that the place which they stood was directly in front of Edwards large picture window. They never intended for Carlisle to fall two stories to the back patio.

They're turns were not fast enough for them watch as Carlisle plummeted to the concrete below. They didn't watch as Carlisle's face, neck, and chest all smashed in to three of the most beautiful clay planter pots, holding three of the most beautiful, blood red mums.

They didn't notice as they looked down on Carlisle's unmoving and bleeding corpse that the wind was blowing through the trees, sounding like natures laughter.

Poor Carlisle. He thought he could fuck the mums, but in the end the mums fucked him.