Like You'll Never See Me Again
Would you do, behave or say it all differently if you had known the outcome beforehand? Oneshot.
A/N: To clarify, this story isn't chronological but everything should be clear while reading.
If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
"Like You'll Never See Me Again" by Alicia Keys
The red fire lilies were blossoming, slowly and gently their petals were opening only to cascade down like a majestic ruby-coloured waterfall, and the smell from the yellow button was whipping along with the fresh, summer breeze. A satisfied sigh escaped his parted lips and his ocean-blue eyes, which were intently glued on the one foreign flower in front of him, moved to the younger girl laying beside him and he smiled, dropping his hands that were supporting his chin on the ground and rolled over on his back like her. His gaze was sent upwards at the baby-blue cloudless sky and he sighed dreamily once again.
"I could lie here all day," he whispered barely audible, but she caught the words, especially because her hearing senses were extra sharp and she smiled wryly back at him.
"I could, too," she said, just as quiet as him and then snorted indignantly as she continued teasingly, "But the next time without your company because your loud breathing disturbs my peace."
His eyes clouded over at her words, though he knew she was just joking around but he just wanted to sit around with her all relaxed and calmed with no witty insults thrown back and forth between them for once.
Her giggling died down as it dawned her that he wasn't amused by it like she was and she felt his rapid heartbeat through the vibrations in the earth and heard him sniffing through his nose angrily each time he exhaled. "What's the matter?" she asked, suddenly worried and with an incredulous look plastered on her soft features, "No banter back at me?"
"Not this time," was all he replied, his voice pained and then he got up in one swift motion before walking back to the inn, leaving her alone in the field of the blooming vermillion flowers.
Caressing the marble stone with her fingertips so softly, that they barely brushed against it, she slowly slid them to the top of the stone, her fingers gracing over the engravings.
Here lies a noble warrior, the beloved...
She retracted her hand quickly, not being able to bear to read further. As she wiped the springing tears in her sea foam green eyes, she got up and left this dreadful, depressing scene, only leaving a bouquet of crimson-coloured Fire lilies behind, underneath the marble stone.
"You'll have to go there some time," she said, her voice tender and her blue eyes softening at the gloom face of her younger friend, "I know it's difficult and it hurts but he—,"
"Don't tell me what to do!" the other girl screamed, tears streaming down her face and her burgundy woodened chair shoved back by her earthbending as she stood up, that it bumped against the wall behind her brusquely. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, her hands were clenched into fists and her brow was wrinkled in anger.
The older, tanned girl sighed shortly. "I'm not bossing you around. I'm just—,"
"I know," the black-haired girl interrupted her promptly, calming down and shutting her sea foam green eyes, only to spill more tears, "But I can't. It's just too hard."
She stood up from her chair, ambled towards her friend and pulled her into a soothing, comforting hug. "We all know you loved him very much, we all loved my brother, but we also think it's time for you to let go," she whispered, whilst she stroked the shorter girl's back gently, "It's been four years and you haven't even visited his grave yet."
"You have no idea how much I love him."
"You know what I like to do?"
She quirked a dark-coloured eyebrow sceptically. "Annoying me while I'm eartbending so that I lose my concentration?" she queried, tauntingly as she made rocks rise and fall in front of her by my moving her hands in the proper movements and positioned herself in the required stances.
"Besides that," he replied, shrugging casually.
Stomping her foot roughly on the ground, she commanded all the rocks to sink back into the ground and bringing the meadow back into its original state. She turned around to be face to face to him, even though she couldn't exactly see him. "What then?" she snarled, her arms folded in front of her chest boldly. She always hated it when people—even him—disturbed her earthbending practices.
He smiled, amused by her irritated behaviour. "Just be with you," he said, his smile increasing as he walked closer to her and knotted his fingers through hers as she had dropped both her arms to either sides, "We hardly just talk anymore. I know a beautiful place where just the two of us can spend some time. It's a beautiful field filled with red fire lilies and—,"
"You're goofy," she mumbled, though couldn't help but mirror his warm smile.
He chuckled at her accurate bluntness, "Yes, but you can't resist the sexiness of my goofy self," he teased, and as she snorted helplessly at his wackiness, he proceeded whilst poking her in the arm playfully with his other free hand, "Hey! You even cat fought Suki to be with me."
Shaking her head softly, untangling her ebony-black hair from its bun in the process, she threw her arms around his neck and brought his face closer to hers till their noses bumped each other. "I'd fight the world for you," she said, her warm breath tingling his skin with great pleasure, "You know that."
He merely nodded as response and brushed his forehead against her, causing her loose tendrils of hair to flow on the top of his head.
"Always you and me?"
"Always," he promised before leaning forward until their lips crashed against each other in a passionate kiss.
"Don't you dare walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" she shouted fervently, looking red in the face from anger. She walked through the open front door, her eyebrows knitted in a furious line and her hands balled up so harshly that her nails were digging into her skin rather painfully.
However, her rough, mad exterior vanished as soon as she felt her lover crumbled on the ground of the meadow, his hand clamping the piece of shirt above his heart. She ran up to him, sliding towards him for the last few steps and rolled him over so that he was lying on his back. Hearing that his breathing was shagged and slowly dwindling, she feared the worst and she couldn't contain her composure anymore.
"No, no, no, NO!" she yelled, as she placed his head on her lap, sweeping the strands of hair away from his face and then feeling how cold his skin had gotten, "Don't go now," she dialled down her voice, visibly shaking and her face all wet from tears, "Please, don't leave me."
But it was already too late.
"Okay, what's going on?"
"Nothing," he whispered, annoyance slightly seeping through his voice. He barged through the door of their room in the inn rambunctiously, plopping down on the bed, making it bounce up and down from the sudden weight.
She sighed, following close behind him and shutting the door as she walked into the room as well. "There's obviously something bothering you," she said, sitting down next to him on the bed, "Did I say something wrong earlier?"
"Yes," he answered matter-of-factly, looking at her and saw her face being twisted into a curious, baffled expression, so he explained himself further, "I just wanted to talk to you about something serious, but you—you—you had to ruin it by saying something snarky again!"
"Jeez, I'm sorry," she blurted, sarcastically, "I thought that was what we do. We're always goofing around, how was I supposed to know I'd offend you this time by it?"
"Because I wanted to tell you I'm dying!" he exclaimed, with a shrill voice and tears in his eyes.
She blanched, not flinching for a millimetre as shock and pain and shivers washed over her all at once. "Wh—Wh—euh—What?" she stammered, her eyes wide and her hand clenched the cotton sheet of the bed tightly, as though she needed it for support desperately. Her head went suddenly dizzy, her body numb and her heart pounding like crazy.
"I don't know what it is exactly but—," he paused, heaving a long sigh, casting his gaze down at the wooden boarded floor, "Katara said that there's something wrong with my heart. It's not functioning well anymore. She, euh, picked it up when she healed that wound around my shoulder."
"I can't believe this."
"Yeah," he replied lamely, "Now you know why I wanted to be with you alone in that beautiful field where life was growing in all seriousness."
She chewed her lower lip guilty. "I'm sorry, if I had known—,"
"It's okay," he interrupted, feigning a careless shrug, "You couldn't have known. I—I need to be alone for a little while."
"What?" she interjected, incredulous, "You throw this bomb on me and now you're going away? We need to talk about this," she said, but heard his footsteps as he walked out to the door and she ran after him immediately. "Wait!"
The cold, sharp wind blew against her face, making her long ebony-black hair sway behind her like a dark, fluid river and the brisk coldness that prickled her skin gave the strength she needed to do this. It had already been difficult enough for her to muster up all the courage to come down here, especially because she left immediately the last time—it brought back too many memories, especially how she spent her last moment with him and she couldn't bear that she had to let him go. The setting was so eerily ominous; the autumn breeze rustled the almost bare branches of the high trees, the field went on seemingly with no end to it and there was no other soul around.
Despite all that she knew she had to do this, there was no turning around, no procrastinating to this.
This had to be done once and for all.
With a long, slow exhale, as though she was breathing out every fear, angst and nervousness, she trudged to the marble stone and even though her footsteps were very soft, she left footprints behind in the damp grass. Sitting down on her knees in front of the tall, murky tombstone, she placed another bouquet of red fire lilies that she had clutched in her hands very protectively down at the foot of the stone and she began caressing the piece of marble again with her nimble fingers tenderly to read the inscription that was engraved.
Here lies a noble warrior,
the beloved son of Chief Hakoda and Hong Ma,
the beloved brother of Katara.
May he rest in the peace he helped to restore.
Her hands flew to her mouth, attempting to suppress a sob from escaping, but it was inadequate. The tears flowed, rolling down her cheeks in the same pattern, dripping on her chin and then splashing on the fabric of her skirt.
"I'm so sorry," she spoke between sniffs, her voice cracking and her lower lips trembling as she tried to hold back the tears so that she could say goodbye properly, "I'm so sorry about everything. I wish that I had acted differently our last day; I wish I realised you were being serious and I wish I hadn't been so foolish by being so brash and so blunt when you needed to tell me something important. I wish I could hold you again in my arms, touch you again, feel you again and kiss you again. All just one more time. But I know I can't. And—I hate that I need to let you go, but—I do. So this is our goodbye; the beautiful goodbye we couldn't say to each other."
She dropped her eye-lids, causing the salty droplet that were lingering on the rims of her eyes to shed again and she got up reluctantly before starting to walk away, finally letting go and leaving this past love behind.
A/N: Feedback is always appreciated. Hong Ma is just a name I invented for Sokka's mother. I hope everything else was clear, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask me. ;)
4/1/2008