Chikaru watched the Etoile say the prayer before the meal with a thoughtful expression, how odd to see her old friend act so… proper. It was just an act though wasn't it? Everything Shizuma said or did was just an act, that's how things were after Kaori passed. Shizuma was practically lifeless at first, then she started going through girls like cheap wine, though something was different, even though she used them all, she turned into a master of deception, now she was almost as good at hiding things as Chikaru was. She let the girls believe she cared about them, that was the cruel part. The old Shizuma was honest from the beginning when she went after a girl, she told them that she wanted no relationships, just fun. 'Oh how you have fallen Shizuma-chan.'

As if the silver haired beauty could sense her thoughts, she met Chikaru's gaze, smiled, and winked. Chikaru's response was a frown of confusion before she turned her head back to her plate. The Etoile hadn't done that in a while. The rest of the dinner continued as normal, Chikaru talked animatedly with a number of her friends, mostly her juniors, Kizuna, Remon and Kagome who were first year Le Lim students. They were a lot of fun really, Chikaru especially liked making outfits for them at their costume club, one of the many Le Lim clubs that Chikaru was a part of. She needed those clubs like she needed water, she needed to always be busy with something interesting, it kept her mind off other things. Nowadays though, her cheerful smile was only for show, it had only been a year after all, but still, the days seemed to be getting darker, not brighter. She said goodbye to her friends and excused herself from the dining hall a little earlier than usual, she had told them she felt really tired and needed to go to bed early. They believed her so easily, as much as she cared for them it was so easy to deceive those innocent, trusting first year friends of hers, she felt as if none of her friends here really knew her at all anymore. She stopped in the middle of the hall she was walking down, as she remembered the reason why her friends could no longer ease her suffering, why she had to lie to them, why she felt so depressed, hateful and bitter all the time now. Her hands balled into fists, and her whole body began to shake uncontrollably, was this fear coursing through her? Or rage? It felt like both. She didn't even notice the person behind her until a hand gently touched her shoulder.

'Chikaru?'

Her hands unclenched and she spun around in shock, she was so taken aback, she didn't realise at first she had positioned herself in the fighting stance she had grown accustomed to this last year. She tried to relax and quickly force a smile on her face, hoping that Shizuma didn't notice her watery eyes. 'Etoile-sama. Sorry, I spaced out a bit there, I'll be on my way now.' She turned abrubtly to flee the scene but found a strong hand around her wrist, holding her back.

'Chikaru? Are you alright?' No of course not! But you were always too ignorant to notice Shizuma!

'Yes, of course, nothing's wrong. Now if you don't mind I need to get back to my room.' She tried to leave again but Shizuma hadn't let go.

'Etoile-sama, please let me go now. I'm just tired and want to go back to my room, that's all.' No movement.

'Shizuma.'

'What?' Chikaru blinked.

'It's Shizuma, or Shizuma-chan, like you used to call me.' Her eyes met Chikaru's and Chikaru could tell she was trying to comfort her in a small way by offering to let Chikaru call her by her first name again. 'Well those days are over, Shizuma. I think it's time we both moved on.'

'That's kind of you Etoile-sama but I don't think we know each other well enough to be on a first name basis. It seems a little too informal. Minamoto-san or Chikaru-san is fine, thank you.' Shizuma looked taken aback for a second, though she quickly composed herself, releasing Chikaru's wrist and taking a step back. Chikaru had to look away in shame, she couldn't trust her mask not to slip in a horrible situation like this. This was pretty much a rejection of friendship on her part, which was unheard of for the Le Lim president. She avoided the silver haired woman's eyes as she wished her a good night, and then briskly walked away, back to her room, where she could once again be alone with her shame.

Something was definitely wrong with Chikaru. Shizuma had no idea what, but it was eating away at her. How could she have missed this? Chikaru had shown no inkling of unhappiness at dinner, the only time she slipped up was when Shizuma had smiled and winked at her and instead of smiling warmly like she normally would, the dark haired woman had frowned oddly as if Shizuma was some kind of stranger she didn't recognise. She had watched her old friend for most of the dinner, near the end she noticed Chikaru's face darken slightly as she was speaking with one of her younger classmates, and then as the woman had excused herself from the table, Shizuma had followed her. She had always remembered Chikaru as being one of the sweetest, cutest, kindest people she had ever met, and she was a little distressed to see her behave so strangely. Her eyes were brimming with tears, though she tried to hide it by avoiding Shizuma's gaze, she was visibly shaking, under some kind of stress, out there in the hallway where she had found the girl. Shizuma was a little hurt by her rejection though, surely that was unnecessary, she thought. Chikaru must have something even bigger going on with her than school problems, or even romantic troubles for her to purposely push Shizuma away, and act so coldly towards her. One thing Shizuma was sure of, she wasn't going to give up this time. She felt a pang of guilt as she realised that they were practically strangers now because of her. After Kaori, Shizuma had abandoned her friend somewhere along the way, and now because of that fatal mistake she couldn't help her when Chikaru needed a friend the most. 'Perhaps I really did deserve that rejection before, I am the worst friend after all. I just hope she can forgive me.'

She felt pangs in her chest of more than just guilt as she remembered crying on Miyuki's shoulder at Kaori's funeral, even though she had lost Chikaru, she managed to hang on to Miyuki through that time, even though she wasn't the best friend to her either. Chikaru had looked close to tears earlier, Shizuma found herself imagining her crying alone in her room, with no close friends to comfort her. Whose shoulder would she cry on then?

'Chikaru. I'm so sorry Chikaru.'