The Adventures of Henry Bemis
Or The Whale
I don't own Henry Bemis. I don't own the Moby Dick reference in the title. I certainly don't own hardly any of the characters in this story. Hopefully this story will reach my goal of 7000 chapters. Or maybe not. Just read the story already! PS: This first chapter isn't very long or all that interesting. Who cares?
Chapter 1. Henry Bemis Needs New Glasses
No. It wasn't a secret to anyone that Henry Bemis needed new glasses. Of course Henry Bemis was the last man on planet Earth. Yes, mankind had completed its goal of killing itself in a couple hours thanks to those wonderful little things called nuclear weapons. Yet Henry Bemis was alive. Why? Because he was too cool to die, that's why! Actually it was because he was hiding in a bank vault reading and eating stuff when mankind started blowing itself up. Naturally he wandered outside after the bombs had gone off to find a post-apocalyptic wasteland in which he was the only survivor. He got a couch to sleep on, food to eat, and all the books he'd ever need.
But something went terribly wrong.
His glasses broke! And without glasses he was but a shell of a man. A man who could not read or see. In one book he had read, though, before the nuclear disaster, he learned that whenever you need something you could go to a store and find it. Wait a second. Isn't it common knowledge that you can go to a store and buy stuff? Well Henry Bemis didn't get out much, so he didn't know that.
That was his plan.
He would go to a store and find a pair of glasses exactly like his old ones! He would once again reign supreme! So began the long, strange adventures of Henry Bemis. His first adventure, though, would be to get new glasses. Now let us see what Henry is up to…
In Nowhere, USA, Henry Bemis was stumbling through the blown up wreckage of his town. He needed to find a store where they had glasses and contacts! He wandered all over town, confused and alone like he always was. Where was a shop that he could visit to get new glasses? He knew there was one somewhere in the town, but he couldn't find it.
"If I can't find a shop that has glasses, I won't be able to read!" Henry Bemis had a habit of telling himself the obvious. "If I can't read, I won't be happy. When I'm not happy, people die. I'm the only person here, though, so I'd die! I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die!" It was then that Henry Bemis knew he wanted to live. He would not be a soulless man forever wandering this nuclear wasteland! He would be an intelligent, handsome stud who liked to read.
Then he saw it. A majestic structure that rose out of the burnt landscape like a monster rises up out of a murky bog in a horror movie. He could see the letters W-E-S-E-L-L-G-L-A-S-S-E-S-A-N-D-S-T-U-F-F written on a sign that had been blown off the building. This was the store of his dreams! He could surely find an exact replica of his glasses here!
"Yay! I'll have new glasses for everyone to see!" Henry Bemis paused. "Wait a second…I am everyone. Oh well." Henry proceeded into the dark building. There was nothing inside except one big room full of shelves that had glasses and contacts on them. Wait…in the middle of the room was a golden pedestal and on that golden pedestal was a red velvet cushion and on that red velvet cushion was a pair of glasses that looked exactly like his old pair! Though he could not read it because he didn't have any glasses with him, there was a golden plaque with the words "HENRY BEMIS' NEW GLASSES" written on it.
"New glasses for me! Now I can finally read once again!" Mr. Bemis rushed over to the pedestal and took the glasses. He put them on and was pleasantly surprised that they fit perfectly. He could see everything. Even dead people. Dead people?
"EEEK!" Henry Bemis got out of there as fast as he could. Once he was outside he climbed into the nearest vehicle he could get to. That vehicle turned out to be a garbage truck full of trash. That didn't matter and Henry Bemis drove off back to his makeshift shelter.
His home was not very much. It consisted of a couch, an outhouse, and a grill for cooking his food. He also had a broken refrigerator that he kept his food in. He had brought all the books from the public library here and kept them in the non-working refrigerator as well. Anyways, Henry Bemis drove up in his new transportation and parked it. He got out and started shouting and waving his arms about, wildly.
"These glasses are so amazing that they can even see dead people!" He screamed. He didn't want to see dead people! Oh well. If they bothered him he'd make them go away. He had learned how to scare away people in all his years working as a bank teller.
But now he had time to read, and that was what was important. He could read. Or could he? Find out in…
Chapter 2. Henry Bemis Gets Dyslexia