Love can find people at the most unexpected times.
The only problem is that Dwalin isn't entirely certain its love, in fact, its more like an increadibly obnoxious older brother elbowing him in the stomach and making very unsubtle comments about a certain dwarf who just might have the same inclinations as him.
And anyway, Dwalin doesn't have time for love. He has a King to protect and a stolen dwarf kingdom to reclaim.
And no Balin, he does not find tea, and knitting, and fussiness attractive traits in a potential mate. No siree, nope, not a single bit.
Isn't it a good thing that Big Brothers always know best.
Notes:
For this Prompt on the Kink Meme:
Being gay is actually incredibly rare in dwarrows, it is not looked down upon but rather seen as a big luck if a family not only has a gay family member but said dwarf also finds a lover (which s/he is expected to marry because how big are the chances to find another?!).
One of the dwarrows on the quest is said family member (I would go for pretty much everyone but prefer Dwalin or Bofur) - and as it turns out there is a second gay in the party (again I don't give a shit who). Now if said other dwarf were just the right age/his type/interested as well/stopped having a stick up his ass and rather take something else up it...
Looking for comedy but smut is very welcome.
I was neither blind nor stupid, and as I was so fond of reminding my brother, I had more than enough brains for the both of us. So I realised long before he did that he preferred Dwarrows to Dwarrowdams. I was there waiting when he realised the same and came to me, all big eyed and gangly youth and confessed that he found himself looking at other young dwarrows differently.
I was not ashamed, but I was unhappy for him. Because there were so very few like him in our society, and it pained me to think he would remain alone for the rest of his life. I knew he held some torch for the young Prince Thorin, which never really faded over the years. But Thorin was a consummated celibate, and seemed more than happy to live out his life as such. I realised that this was exactly what my brother anted, an unobtainable goal so that he would not have to face the disappointment of looking and never finding.
My brother was hardly difficult to read.
When the call came to reclaim Erebor, I knew it would be a one way trip, so few dwarves against a dragon. We had no hope. But our King called, and Dwalin answered so quickly it near made my head spin and of course I could hardly let my brother go without me. Mahal knows he has the strength of ten dwarves, but lacks the brains sometimes of one. So I signed my contract and did my bit to help gather forces for the journey.
Dwalin was already trailing behind Thorin like a giant warg pup, earnest and deadly, following him to the meeting Thorin had with the Grey Wizard while I waited, contracts lines up and ready for those who heeded the call to arrive. That was how I met Dori.
He came in, fussing around a young dwarf, straightening his clothes and braids and looking for all the world like a dwarrowdam sending her first child to lessons for the first time. The youngling, Ori, batted him away, took a contract from me and signed it on the spot, without so much as looking at it. Dori squawked and immediately lifted another and I waited with amusement as he preceeded to read out every last detail of the contract aloud, fore folding it shut.
"Are you sure you still intend to go?" he said fussily, and Ori, now a great deal paler, but no less determined looked nodded resolutely. And Dori sighed, lifted the quill on my desk and signed his own contract.
"Oh Dori!" Ori cried out in what might have been dismay.
Dori just waved him off. "I'm not letting you go off on some wild adventure with only *Nori* to look after you. Silly boy would trade you in for a shiny trinket when your not looking." Then he handed me the contract and said, ever so politely. "There you are Mister Balin. Just let me know when we're needed and where and I'll have my brothers spit polished and ready to go."
I told him I would be sure to do just that and watched him leave, fussing once more over young Ori. I couldn't seem to help the smile spreading across my face, because if Dori just wasn't as inclined as my brother was, then I was a goblin. How fortunate. My brother could do with someone fussing about him, seeing to his comfort, and from the looks of it, young Ori, and that vagabond Nori who had been by earlier to sign a contract, looked to need a little less fussing from their brother.
It would be a win/win situation all round.
I rubbed my hands in anticipation. I hadn't played matchmaker in a long time, but if it was the last thing I did I would be getting my brother set up and married proper, and he could protest all he wanted, and he would of course just to try and save face.
But what Dwalin always seemed to forget was that Big Brother Knows Best.