Being A Doctor Is Tough

(A Doctor's Love II)

The second installment in The Doctor's Love series. I think that it must be tough being a doctor. Jeanne may usually come across a tough gal, but certain things can crack that external barrier… As the expert of external barriers know.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or the NCIS characters… Wouldn't it be great if I did though?

It had been a tough couple of days at NCIS… The agents had run on very little sleep, but the leg work had been done in order to solve the case. As usual with the case wrapped up, the agents wanted to immediately let their hair down before heading home. They usually went to their favorite bar and it would turn into some sort of drinking game between the agents. Gibbs was only slightly amused at their antics.

"I got the first round last time, Tony," Ziva interjected. That meant that it was between Tony and McGee.

"Okay then Probie," Tony smiled. "I'll ask you a question… And if I have to tell you the answer, you have to buy the first round. If I don't… I'll happily buy it," Tony said and waited for McGee to nod. "Which actor has had both a spider and an ant named after them?" Tony asked.

McGee didn't have any idea. He tried to search through his memory for that. Maybe Tony had mentioned it before. "Hang on, I'm thinking," McGee noticed the impatience coming from the senior field agent. But to be honest he was buying time.

"Harrison Ford," Gibbs answered.

The team turned in surprise to see Gibbs standing there. "Guess it is your turn to buy, Tony," Ziva laughed. Tony turned to face her. "You did not have to tell McGee the answer," she explained.

Tony shook his head. Well that only meant that it'd be McGee who brought the first round next time. He brought the drinks back from the bar on a large round tray. That was when he felt the secondary phone vibrate against his hip. "Excuse me," Tony said as he left the table to answer the cell.

Tony…

"Jeanne?!" Tony had to raise his voice to make him self heard over the normal bar noises. "Hang on… I'll go outside so I can hear you," he said as he quickly exited. "Hey, what's up?" He asked.

Oh you're busy.

"I'm just having a couple of drinks with some colleagues," Tony said nonchalantly. There were times when certain things just had to take priority over everyday things. "What's wrong? You don't sound alright," Tony noted her sniffle and depressed tone. She was obviously upset by something.

I'll call again…

"No… No, it's okay. Are you alright?" Tony asked. He was good at picking up the tone in her voice even if she was trying to convince him that things could wait. "Talk to me, Jeanne," it was a light order. One he was hoping she'd do.

(During the operation, as time went by, Tony fought the growing feelings for this sweet and beautiful doctor. He knew it was wrong. Number one rule in undercover work, you never get emotionally involved with the mark. To him she was no longer just a mark in this undercover operation. He had fought it and tried not to look at how he was being pulled in, but he couldn't deny it any longer. He had broken the rule, but pushed that thought aside as he tried to find out what was wrong.

It's just… I really need someone to talk to.

"I'll be rightover," Tony told her. "Don't worry… I'll be right there," he assured her. He explained that his being with his co-workers wasn't anything important. Then made sure she understood this before he hung up. It was easy to make excuses to his team mates that he had to leave earlier. When he was alone in his car, he'd mentally beat him self up over how easy it had become to lie to his colleagues. His lies had become second nature at this point and this concerned him. He couldn't think about the subject right now. He pushed his guilt away once more and then proceeded to Jeanne's.

Jeanne Benoit Residence

Jeanne had wiped her eyes. She had heard the knock on the door and was glad that Tony had agreed to come over. She felt somewhat guilty about tearing her boyfriend away from some sort of get together with his colleagues. But she needed somebody and that someone was him.

Jeanne opened the door and there he was. Tony stood on the other side of the now opened door with a friendly smile and a bag of food. He walked in silently to match the somber mood that had greeted him.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked. He knew it was a stupid question, of course something was wrong. He just wasn't great at giving comfort to others, but he remembered he had heard many people say the same thing with him, when they thought he needed it. At least, Tony could try doing this unfamiliar gesture. Tony DiNozzo may not be an open person… But Tony DiNardo cared and felt for people, he could give this sort of comfort without a second thought. After all, his alter ego wasn't damaged by the past as Tony DiNozzo was.

The question received no response. He turned her so that they were now facing each other. He lifted her chin up so their eyes met. "Are. You. Okay?" He articulated. Though her glistening eyes were telling him all he needed to know. Tears were welling up and trying hard not to fall. "I know… Stupid question. I don't even know why people ask it. Especially when the other person clearly isn't okay," Tony gave a goofy smile.

"I agree," Jeanne said as she sat on the couch next to Tony.

Tony maneuvered her so that Jeanne's head was on his lap. Abby had done this many times too get him to relax and talk about what was bothering him. Maybe it'd work on Jeanne.

"What are you doing?" Jeanne asked as she looked up at him.

"Just a trick I learned," Tony said soothingly as he carded his fingers through her hair just like Abby had done for him on so many occasions. He'd have to do what he'd learned from his friend. He knew it definitely worked on him and he always felt so comforted when she caressed his hair. "It's okay. I'm all ears you know. You need to talk and I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," Tony spoke softly with the reassurance that he knew worked on him.

Jeanne was silent for a moment. It had been a tough day and she had come home mentally exhausted and in tears. She had managed to calm her self down to a respectable level before calling Tony DiNardo. The more she thought about it the more pathetic she thought she sounded. But they were lovers and lovers were supposed to be there for each other.

Jeanne bit on her fingernails as she sighed once more. "They say that it's great being a Doctor… Most of the time it is," she felt herself relaxing under Tony's caring touch. "Most of the time it's great especially when things go right," Jeanne sniffled a couple of times. "I lost two patients today," her voice was only a whimper. It was a shadow of her usual tone. "Nothing went right," she explained as the recent memories passed before her.

"Sorry to hear that," Tony said sheepishly. "What happened?"

"One was a car accident… Internal injuries. Her insides were a mess," Jeanne answered after awhile. She was enjoying Tony stroking her hair. "There was also a teenager who overdosed on heroin… These were two young people who should've lived long healthy lives, Now they never will," Jeanne knew when she lost a patient how it got to her. She cared and got too involved with her patients. She remembered a mentor who said not to get too involved with a patient and this was one of the main reasons why. She had lost patients before and felt this way. Only now she had someone to lean on, someone to comfort her and it felt so nice.

Tony reached over to the coffee table. He pulled out a couple of tissues from the box and handed them to Jeanne so she didn't have to move. Tony had seen her as a woman that held a lot of caring emotions lately. For the first time, he allowed this realization that she was this person and not just some pawn in a game to stay with him. Perhaps this WAS a mistake, but he finally allowed himself to see that he really was getting in way too deep. That pawn in the game didn't cut it anymore. He couldn't push these strange new feelings down the way he had been. Yes, they were there and he didn't know if he liked it or not. Well, he liked that she cared for him. That did feel good after so many years of not having someone care, though it was so foreign to him. He remembered the nanny he had that cared for him and sometimes his mother. He smiled at the warmth that followed the thoughts before he pulled back to the present and the woman that lay in his lap.

"You're such a caring woman… That's one of the reasons I'm attracted to you," he mused out loud and told her one of the things that had taken him by surprise. The surprise was that he couldn't hide from it like he had with so many others. He didn't have that choice to keep her at arms length as he did the woman in his life over the years. Once a woman tried to get to close he could push her away, with Jeanne he had no choice but to allow her to stay in his life. He knew in doing this that she had slid through his wall and it would only happen more. He would have to deal with the emotions that had started to surface. Again, he thought he couldn't push her away, but now he wondered if he even wanted to. This wasn't good, he thought.

"Thanks for coming around," Jeanne responded. She smiled half-heartedly to give Tony a reward.

"No need for thanks, Jeanne," Tony whispered into her ear.

They stayed that way for awhile. Tony soothed her with words while stroking her face and hair. She shed a few more tears, but after awhile fell into a deep sleep. At first he thought about taking her to the bedroom, only he didn't want to wake this sleeping beauty. Just for now, he would allow him self to fully be Tony DiNardo and be in a happy relationship with a great, loving girl. He didn't want to be anyone else but Tony DiNardo. He knew it was wrong, but this cover person's life felt so much better. His other world didn't exist…

A/N: Special thanks to crockettsgirl for beta'ing this chapter. She does a wonderful job.