Kalivax: Hey there all you shonen-ai fan girls (although thanks to the nazis the little dash in shonen-ai probably isn't showing up about now…). This was supposed to be a small little drabble but it's surprisingly longer than I expected. A lot darker too. Hrmm…well, I must admit though like it a lot. :Laughs for a bit randomly: I still think this couple needs more support nyaaa so I may be adding so more. Still have only seen few DVDs my sister saw all of them and told me spoilers so if isn't entirely accurate oh well, I'm watching HunterxHunter bug me later…
Disclaimer: Don't own if I did would've changed the ending, definitely would've changed the ending…
Al's Perception
There are a lot of things that Al understands that no one else does.
She may be a child, but she in truth understands concepts that seem foreign and complicated to even those ten years her senior. She may not know the details completely, but she understands. Knowing something and understanding are too completely different things.
Knowledge in itself is complicated, diverse, easily manipulated…some thing attained through experience.
Understanding isn't as trivial, anyone can do it easily. They just chose not to, children, (those who are supposedly without 'knowledge') can understand best. They haven't yet had their minds trifled with by perverse ideals, horrible beliefs that justify violence—they are truly free to understand and accept. They need nothing but give everything.
It is because of this that Al feels sad every time she sees Klaus.
She understands that he is in pain.
She doesn't know for sure why, but knows that it is great: no matter how much he denies it or just smiles back. It hurts the most when he tries to smile to prove he is ok.
The pain in her heart causes her to pause a bit, but she nods and plays along.
He is changing; his eyes no longer shine as much. He pauses before he speaks, rethinks what to say and do, instead of the rush he felt when he was flying as if he were one with the sky—he feels tedium, nervousness, anxiety. Trivial thoughts that cloud his mind and break the connection with the great horizon in front of him. Flying doesn't free him anymore, yet he dare not admit so.
All this she can understand when he casts a distant look out the window of their room.
It seems that Klaus has been lost to the world.
Almost….there is something that brings him back.
Dio.
As soon as the young boy appears, ready to play. The light returns to Klaus. He's back to the beginning when all he had to worry about was racing. The fleeting times that seemed like dreams and illusions more than the distant memories they really were. Being the boy's 'minder' distracts him from the grim reality of war fare. The young aristocrat finds ways to keep Klaus focused on him and only him.
He feels his 'Immelman' growing up. He hates it; he dislikes change with a passion. For when Immelman grows, so does he. Ever closer to his 'destiny'. He knows it's impossible to stop time but he tries. He puts all his heart and soul to keeping Klaus his--as long as the other stays the way he is, as long as his toy remains his toy. Then he is safe, his sister is no where near, Luciola is with him, the world is still full of new things to explore or do, and Immelman will show him what lies outside of the two dimension world he ran—still is running from.
All this—Al understands as she sees Dio bound forward with cheer when he spots Klaus in the hanger. She watches with a small smile. Dio will bring him back. Even if it's just for a moment.
Dio pulls pranks, while Luciola aids without question (Al thinks that he actually enjoys this too). They usually range from small things (leaving unexpected surprises inside the van ship pilots' seats) to not so small ones (leaving explosive unexpected surprises in the Captain's dining chair).
At the exact moment afterwards, when Alex Row is consumed with pink smoke (a idly made smoke bomb that dyed the clothes)and blinking—does Klaus smile and laugh. It's a small smile and the laugh isn't very loud—but in that moment. He is back home with Lavie, flying in their fathers' van ship, soaring in the sky's open embrace.
The moment is usually interrupted when Klaus is then scolded severely and he apologizes profusely. The magic lost already. He's back in the ship he fights for daily, he's back to fearing the skies, he's back to where he hides things from Lavie.
Its' because of this that Al doesn't quite hate Dio; for every time Klaus returns to his childhood once more, Dio is there openly recording the moment in his mind. Storing away the precious memory for when he has to leave. Something that will be his safeguard—something his sister can never truly take from him. Something that he did all by himself (for Luciola only stood as a distraction to draw the attention away as he placed his surprises in their hiding places).
Al can understand that this odd boy, who may be a traitor, yet not—is a better match than anyone else. Someone that would treasure Klaus and bring him from this numbing world of war…something that even Lavie can't do.
Lavie is tired.
She sense something is wrong but cannot get Klaus, some one who once shared her soul with her to even open up anymore. She can feel the pressure mounting—her connection to Klaus crumbling under its weight. She cannot stop herself sometimes, after all, they are on the 'safest' ship in the world, she is constantly pulled away—she doesn't have time to waste—that's her excuse. The sooner the ship is done the better; she must get things out of the way first.
She's scared.
Reality is too much sometimes. She doesn't want to acknowledge how long they've been here, how much they both are growing, how numb she is getting to the sound of cannons and gun fire. The smell of bodies falling onto the deck used to make her wretch violently—now all she has to do is turn the other way. That's become her way of doing things now—since everything is out of her hands, she just turns and focuses on other tasks at hand.
Al understands how much she yearns to do something, but feels her hands bound. It's Klaus's decision, not hers. She hears this when she wakes up at night to the sound of soft sobbing. Usually she climbs down, settling next to Lavie.
Lavie doesn't speak, just sobs with soft sounds.
And Al just holds onto her…
Tatiana isn't good for Klaus either.
She seems focused on him, but she doesn't see him.
The real him.
Tatiana sees a brilliant pilot, ready to soar with the best of them.
Her past.
He could easily beat her.
Nevertheless, something is stopping him from greatness. He feels guilt for those he kills. He refuses to follow the path to greatness in such big leaps. He takes them in small steps, pausing to reflect on needless matters.
Tatiana used to be like that—but then she became the best.
She is caught: part of her yearns and pleads for Klaus to remain the same, but another, more vocal, demands that he be with her.
That he follow her.
That he stay with her.
That he become her and still love her.
After all she loves him. He is what she can change and mold, and still remain defiant. A wonderful paradox.
But Al understands, even though Tatiana doesn't.
Tatiana is in love with an ideal, and the glimpses of the real Klaus—she does not like. Her attempts to change him often result in loud arguments that scare Al.
Al understands that Klaus not only reminds Tatiana of herself, but someone else.
Someone she cannot love, someone the same gender, someone that loves her unconditionally, heart breaking as she watches from the side.
Blaming herself, Alister just turns a blind eye.
It could never happen.
Al understands that deep down Tatiana loves Alister, not Klaus. However, the illusion of Klaus intrigues her and she mistakes camaraderie for romance. There would be less taboo in a relationship with him than Alister.
But the one thing that Al understands that hurts the most, happens after Lavie's done crying, after Tatiana has stormed off in a rage, after Alister quietly slips away—in the dead of the night.
Klaus rises from his bed; slowly to not disturb Lavie's new found (if temporary) sense of peace.
He slips on a jacket, softly opening the door. He never turns around once.
Stepping thru the empty halls with ease, he stops at his destination.
He doesn't even have to knock, the door is open…
Luciola is asleep.
He knows no one else is around that part of the ship.
He just had a nightmare of the battle from two weeks ago.
He's so scared because for a moment in the dream, he could feel the eyes of all those related to whom he had killed—murderer.
It's all this that makes him grab onto Dio as soon as the other moves closer.
Dio doesn't say anything.
He just had a nightmare also.
He was a monster—killing everything in sight. His older sister watching with the same chilling, sneering, smile that always greeted him.
He dreamt that Luciola killed himself for Dio's freedom in the name of friendship.
But what made him cling onto the other boy in return, was the sudden vision at the end.
Klaus stood by a helpless expression as Dio charged at him, a monster swinging its sword.
The two don't move.
They're both hurricanes of emotion.
Fear. Grief. Loneliness.
They feel the bitter tang of age and maturity stinging their mouths.
Slowly Dio lifts Klaus's head and tilts his lips upon his own.
They know what will happen.
They can't escape. These fleeting moments between them. They can never truly obtain happiness, because reality won't grant it.
Klaus closes his eyes and leans in. Eyes are tear-less, he too used to them being with out.
Dio's grip increases. Both of them begging, pleading, in their minds for time to stop.
For them to somehow get the strength to go thru this…
Al watches hidden from view.
Two boys forced to grow up because of what the world was instilling on them.
Trying desperately to escape through the company of each other.
Attraction brewed with need and desperation.
The closest thing to love the two will ever really attain.
Al understands—as they part, both looking as though if they let go the other will disappear—that Dio and Klaus have to accept that this is the most of what will ever happen to them.
There will be no happy ending, not for the both of them.
She understands, and it breaks her heart with the impact of a hammer to her chest at the same time.
….Owari….
Well, how'd you like it guys? It started out as an DxK but ended up involving so many people! Ai-yah! That was so confusing at first, I'm so glad I got this out of my system. It kept distracting me from completing my homework (not really, I just lie saying that :waves hand dismissively:). But yeah, anyways, I'm actually proud of how this fic turned out, a lot better than what I was hoping for. In all actuality I was just going to let it stew in my head until Lostcomplex() touched me with her reviews so I guess I wrote this for her (and all the other DxK shippers out there).I'm thinking of having a bunch of collected drabbles on this couple, I just love the aspects of their relationship! So, that's about it, read and review if you'd like. Now if you'll excuse me, my Dejimon Frontier muses have been biting me and hassling me to write a fic about the full moon since there is one out and its Friday the 13th and moonlight plays along with Kouichi's hair so prettily.