For once I'm writing in the animeverse! This is written post-shamballa, as I toyed around with the idea of Alternate Roy & Riza. It's gonna sound crazy, right? I'm changing Riza's whole name because I want it to sound more German.

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"Urrgh, I'm so HUNGRY!" Ed shouted.

Edward and Alphonse Elric were walking down a busy Munich walkway during lunchtime. Ed's infamous hunger had overtaken his mouth, and caused a few passing shoppers to spare him a reproving look.

"Well I'd love to help, brother, but I don't know any restaurants in this city! Or this world, for that matter." Al replied sheepishly. Ed felt (And Al heard) his stomach grumble with frustration. Ed attempted to clear his mind of the visions of all the tasty food he could be eating to try and think of a place to find it. His eyes caught a familiar building he used to enter with Alfons for breakfast. He chuckled silently picturing the look on his brother's face when he saw the people inside. "Over here Al, this place is good." He called. The sign above the door read "The Nutcracker, Bar, Restaurant, Inn."

A bell attached to the inside frame of the door chimed merrily, informing the residents of the new arrivals. A warm female voice drowned out the crowd of drunkards in the corner of the room. "Just a minute!" Al let out an audible gasp as he recognized the apron-clad woman coming from around the corner.

It appeared to be a woman he knew very well, but with noticeable differences. The hair was lighter and slightly longer, the eyes more brown than amber. The pale, heart-shaped face was slightly rosier, and the woman he knew never wore skirts. It was First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, but revised.

"Oh, hey big guy," she said, smiling at Ed. "Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?" She glanced in Alphonse's direction and bent down to be at eye level. "And who's your handsome friend, here?" Al turned red, Ed smiled. "Yo, Liza. I'm fine; this is my brother, Al." He jabbed a finger beside him. The woman stuck out her hand. "Well it's very nice to meet you, Al." Al returned her gesture and smiled weakly. He had always known the lieutenant was attractive, but he had never seen her with her hair down before. "It's nice to meet you too… Liza?" The woman smiled and returned to full height. "Elizabeth Hemmingway. But everyone calls me Liza. I take it you two fine young men are here for lunch?" They nodded in unison. "I'm STARVING, Liza. Give me the biggest sandwich you got, with everything on it." Ed slumped his back and pulled up a chair at the bar. Liza nodded and scribbled his order down on a notepad she produced from her apron pocket. "And you, Al?" Alphonse picked at his chin, deciding what he wanted to eat. "How about… chicken soup." She nodded again and walked over to the counter where a figure which Al had originally taken to be a fixture of the bar was sleeping with its jet-black hair sprawling about the countertop. Liza slammed the paper down in front of the head which started. The man scratched his head irritably and cast an aggravated look at her.

"What was that for?"

"We have customers. Get to work."

"Hey, remind me again, whose bar is this?"

"It won't be yours for much longer if you keep sleeping on the job like this. Now come on, it's Ed, and you know how he gets when he's hungry. And I don't know who you expect to clean up the mess, but it sure as hell won't be me, so just start up on this order, will you?"

The alternate Roy Mustang ruffled his hair and scowled as he snatched up the small piece of paper and headed towards the kitchen on the other end. Al just stared with his mouth slightly open as the people he knew so well walked about the restaurant doing their daily chores. A familiar feeling overcame him, he couldn't place it, but he had definitely felt it before. His eyes wandered around until he stopped on the smile upon Ed's face.

"You knew they were in here, didn't you?" He scowled at his brother, who sniggered. "C'mon, Al, if I knew that the Colonel and the Lieutenant would be here, don't you think I would've told you?" Al grumbled angrily as the drunks in the back chatted loudly.

"Hey, Lizzie! 'Nother round, over here!" Called one of them. Liza, who was scrubbing down a chair two tables away, sighed heavily. "I told you after the last round, John, I'm cutting you off, get some coffee or something."

"Aw, come off it Lizzie, where did our love go?" The man laughed. His messy blonde hair was scraggly and unkempt and his suspenders were slack. His bright blue eyes were glazed over with drink; the other Jean Havoc was sloshed indeed.

"Speakin' of love, how'd your date go last night, Lizzie?" Asked Havoc's companion. His round stomach was shaking dangerously, his eyes beady and red, an unmistakable double of Heymans Breda.

"Terribly," She replied. "The guy was a total ass. I ended up slapping him and sticking him with the bill." John grinned. "Don't get too worried Lizzie, I'd be glad to marry you!" He grabbed her around the waist with the other free hand holding up an empty bottle. "Our babies will be gorgeous!" He laughed. Liza smiled and pushed his hand off her hip. "Not to mention alcoholics. Now cut it out John, it's way too early to be as drunk as you are." The others laughed as Liza splashed cold water on other-Havocs face in a firm attempt to sober him up. She walked over to the counter just as the irritated restaurant owner came out with the plates. She balanced them expertly on her arms and set them in front of Ed and Al.

"So," Said the black-haired bar owner, stopping right in front of Al and his soup. "I know anger management over here, who're you?" Al blew cold air on his steaming bowl. "Hello, I'm Alphonse Elric. Nice to meet you." The man looked from Al to Ed in surprise. "And you two are actually related? Some hospital somewhere screwed your parents over good, that's all I gotta say." A vein popped in Ed's forehead, but he was far too hungry to push the matter. Al looked around to take in the scene. Liza smiled at the Mustang-look-alike as they talked about a new movie they were both interested in, the men in the corner were singing a cheery war march, and Al suddenly remembered the feeling he had when he entered the restaurant. It was the same feeling he had whenever he entered East H.Q, the sense of familiarity, unity and close bonds, the feeling of understanding. Everyone was at peace with each other here, like a close knit family with very different members.

"Hey chief, why don't YOU marry Lizzie?" Breda called from their corner of the bar. The others nodded in agreement; this was obviously a well-traveled topic among the regulars of the bar. "C'mon, you're totally in love with 'er! I seen the way you two lookit-" Liza snapped the towel from the sash of her apron, slinging it across the room and hitting him square in the face. Apparently the alternate version of the famed military sniper was no less deadly with her aim. She strode crossly to the other side of the bar and snapped her towel back. She was very red in the face. "Even you're not that drunk, Helmed." She stuffed her towel back into her pocket hurriedly and turned around to busy herself with another chair. The other Mustang coughed loudly in an attempt to hide how flushed his cheeks were turning. Alphonse looked back and forth between the two coworkers and realized there was more in common with these counterparts and their doubles than just looks.

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"C'mon chief, just say you're sorry!" Havoc whined to his CO. "It can't be that hard, and it would make her a whole lot happier than if you just keep on being an ass!" Mustang twitched. "I don't see what I have to apologize for. I left. Now I'm back. End of story." Havoc scowled. "You're not even fooling yourself, are you? You missed her, I can tell. Now if you just go up and say 'I'm sorry, my love, forgive my giant ego, please have my babies', everything will be oka---YEARGHH!!!" Havoc shrieked as a bullet narrowly missed his right ear. Neither of them had heard the Lieutenant enter the room, but they were both open-mouthed and slack-jawed as she stuffed her gun back into her holster. "Thank you for what I think is your concern, Havoc, but I'm not angry and I'm certainly not having anyone's babies." Havocs chest was still rising and sinking rapidly as the shock of the bullet wore off slowly. Mustang just stared at her as she crossed to the bookshelf. Their long months apart had done nothing to rob her of her unique brand of beauty, and he was now finding himself wondering where he ever found the insanity to leave her as he did. He had the insatiable urge to do exactly as Havoc had said, to hold her and stroke her hair and assure her that he was never going to leave her again. But as long as his many mistakes still rung in his ears he could never be vain enough to think he deserved the happiness he could have with her. She was his constant reminder, the thing he wanted most of all but could never have, the thing he had to separate himself from to make sure he could never forget the sins he committed.

She was his punishment.

And he hated it.

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See, THIS is why I hate writing in the animeverse, Mustang is all emo and bastard-ey, Riza all needy and mean, and Ed is all screwed in the head! Seriously, all the anime characters need some meds. A LOT of meds.

But I just had to write a Shamballa Riza and Roy. Too cool!