Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or That Should Be Me by Justin Bieber.
A/N: I wrote this awhile back but I didn't know about this site then! Well, here's my first songfic and I hope you enjoy! Oh, and reviews would be great! :)
The hallways of Hogwarts had never seemed so desolate and lonely before, I thought as I walked through them alone. It had been a few weeks since we'd spoken to each other, but I couldn't get her out of my head. Her voice, her smile, her eyes... They were all permanently imprinted on my brain.
Still thinking about her, I bumped into someone, bringing me out of my reverie. Looking around, I saw several students glancing at me and then leaning in to whisper something to their friends. I ignored them, guessing at what they were talking about.
A few minutes later I heard a laugh and an exclamation of "No way!" followed by gasps. Looking at a group of Hufflepuff girls, I caught snippets of their conversation.
"They're actually talking?"
"And not yelling?"
My stomach began to roll with dread, anger, then confusion. Was what I was hearing true? I prayed it wasn't.
Everybody's laughing in my mind
Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy
Continuing on through the halls, I heard many more fragments of excited gossip, which proved to only fuel my anger and suspicion. Still hoping it wasn't true, I thought back to a month ago when things were normal.
If what I was hearing was true, I wondered if she told him the same jokes she told me, or answered all of his questions about Muggles like she answered mine.
Do you do what you did when you did with me
Does he love you the way I can?
Seeing a sign for upcoming Hogmeade trips, I remembered that we had planned to check out the Shrieking Shack tomorrow. I wondered if she would show up, but I highly doubted it. If things continued the way they were going, I would never speak to her again.
Did you forget all the plans that you made with me?
'Cause baby I didn't
I sighed as a turned a corner and froze. The scene before me confirmed my suspicions, and my stomach filled with anguish. She was standing there with him. And they were holding hands. And laughing. Wincing at the pain in my chest, I watched silently as he pulled a small box from his robes and gave it to her.
That should be me, holding your hand
That should be me, making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
That should be me, that should be me
I watched as she opened the gift, revealing a heart-shaped locket. She opened it, and I could just make out a picture of him on one side and a picture of her on the other. She gasped and threw her arms around his neck, saying "I love it!" It felt like I was being punched in the gut when she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
I turned and fled.
That should be me, feeling your kiss
That should be me, buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
Till you believe, that that should be me
That should be me
As I ran through the halls, I couldn't help but here her voice saying "I just need some time, that's all." Need some time? Yeah right, I thought to myself bitterly. I had been okay with her ignoring me, thinking she would eventually speak to me again. But now she was spending time with him of all people? I felt betrayed.
You said you needed a little time for my mistakes
It's funny how you used that time to have me replaced
I finally made it to my dormitory, flinging myself onto my bed, using my wand to shut the curtains. I didn't want the other boys to see me. I knew they would laugh and insult her, and I couldn't bear to here it tonight.
Putting a Silenting charm on myself, I buried my face in my pillow and cried myself to sleep. Again.
-The Next Day-
The Hogsmeade trip is today.
I made my way through the castle and down to Hogsmeade, where I began to wonder aimlessly. Eventually I stood on the edge of the forest facing the Shrieking Shack. I hadn't planned on coming here, knowing it would bring memories, but I figured I could wait in the shadows of the trees to see if she would show up, like we'd planned.
A few minutes later, I heard laughter coming from the path that led here. I distinctly made out her laugh, which filled my stomach with butterflies and hope she had remembered our plans.
That hope was soon dashed and replaced with anger when she came into view, surrounded by him and his friends. She was holding his hand. Again.
Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at Hogsmeade?*
What you doin' to me?
You're taking him where we used to go
Now if you're trying to break my heart,
It's working 'cause you know
Feeling my heart break in half as I watched, she pulled her locket from under her robes and showed it off to his friends. They commented on it, saying it looked good on her, and I saw the proud smile on his face. Fighting the urge to go over there, I watched her lean up and kiss his cheek again. His friends shared looks of relief while he was distracted.
That should be me, holding your hand
That should be me, making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me, feeling your kiss
That should be me, buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
Till you believe, that should be me
Shifting my weight, I made a leaf crackle, alerting them to my presence. Him and his friends pulled out their wands, scanning the treeline. I tried to stay still, but it was too late. I had been spotted.
I pulled out my wand as they approached, ready to defend myself. I looked at each one, weighing my odds. They didn't look so good.
Before I could sends a wild curse at them and run away, I locked eyes with her. They were filled with worry, and I liked to believe it was for me. I opened my mouth to say something to her, and words came tumbling out.
I need to know should I fight for love,
Or disarm
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart
I felt a tear slide down my face. From the corner of my eye, I saw him and his friends waver for a moment, looking at me, and then her. Her eyes were filled with water, and I could tell she was fighting back tears. He took a step toward her, but hesitated, not knowing what to do.
I walked up to her, and took her hands in mine. More words came out.
That should be me, holding your hand
That should be me, making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
A tear slid down her face, and she opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. She needed to know my pain.
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me, feeling your kiss
That should be me, buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
Till you believe, that that should be me
She pulled her hand away from mine to wipe away another tear, and I continued, softer this time, so no one else could hear but her.
That should be me, holding your hand
That should be me, the one making you laugh, oh baby
That should be me
That should be me, giving you flowers
That should be me, talking for hours
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me
Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she looked at me with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, Sev, but I can't-" She shook her head. "It can't be you." Lily stepped away from me, and walked over to James, who put an arm protectively around her. "I love James, Sev. And I know how much you hate it, but it's true."
My heart was in my throat, and I was having trouble swallowing. Putting on a brave face, I stood up straighter, and defiantly met Sirius, Remus, and James's gaze, finally landing on Lily. My eyes softened as I stared into her green eyes for what might be the last time.
"I'm so sorry, Sev," Lily whispered. I nodded painfully, and turned my back to her, walking away from the only girl I'd ever love.
Never should have let you go, I never should've let you go
That should be me
Never should've let you go, oh oh
That should be me
Never should've let you go, I never should've let you go
That should be me
* I changed the lyrics a bit to fit with the Harry Potter world. It's really "Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies"
I wrote this at 1 in the morning so it might be a little sloppy. And I know Lily and James didn't get together until their 7th year, but it would fit better with the song if they were in 5th year.
Review!