Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters and all that jazz. They're not, nor will they ever, be mine. :(
Warning: This is a femslash story. If the thought of two women being together bothers you, please leave now.
"Carter!"
Jack O'Neil shouted down the corridor that his teammate was quickly striding away from. "Come back here, right now. That's an order, Major." Samantha Carter froze in place. She could not refuse an order from her superior. She turned on one foot and returned to where O'Neil had been addressing her "Yes, Sir?" Her face showed no emotion; jaw clenched tight, blue eyes that once held light and warmth were now cold and hard. Jack sighed; Sam was dying on the inside. And there was nothing he could say that would reverse her downward spiral.
But He had to try.
"It's been two months since Janet's death. You are in the worst condition you have been in. You need to stop ripping yourself apart over this- it wasn't your fault." Sam kept her composure stiff and void of emotion. "I understand that, Sir." There was a long pause as Jack gritted his teeth, irritated with Sam's lie. She knew she was trying to fool the both of them. "No, you don't, Sam. You really don't. Every time you go home to an empty bed and only Cassie to greet you, every time you come to work and pass Janet's empty office, you tear yourself to pieces. You never stop blaming yourself. That staff blast was impossible to be seen and prevented. You need to realize that Janet is at peace and what you really need to focus on is raising Cassie. She needs you now more than ever." Sam opened her mouth to speak, but Jack stopped her. "This ends today. Time heals all wounds, Sam. You need to let her go," he concluded. "Dismissed."
Sam went directly to her quarters and sat on the bed after she stripped herself of her fatigues. She grasped the second pair of tags that hung around her neck and brought them to her lips. "I love you, Janet. I always will and you know that. I must focus on raising our incredible daughter and carrying on with my work here. I'll see you again one day, I swear it." Sam paused, looking down and running a thumb across the name of her late wife, feeling the relief of tears falling silently. Pain radiated within her soul, she had never felt so alone, yet still completed by the one she would love forever. Perhaps this is why when they wrote and exchanged their vows, neither chose to include the phrase "Till' death do us part." Having Sam's life on the line almost daily was reminder enough to Janet of how rapidly things can change.
"I love you. Forever. For always. No matter what." Sam smiled for the first time in over two months, knowing that it was only Janet who could pull all the emotions buried deep inside back out, where they need to be. She had come to terms with the fact that time keeps going on, and there is closure in moving forward with the flygirl life she proudly calls hers.
Fin