1. Aching for warmer days

If you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning. You keep making the same mistake over and over again and you stop calling it a mistake. If you just wake up – wake up – wake up – wake up one day you'll forget why. There has to be something to wake you up again. Whispering I love you – I love you – I love you so many times over until you forget what it means. Something has to happen to make you remember. (inspired by Phil Kaye)

Owen Hunt hovers near the door of the ER hoping for something to happen. He absolutely needs a distraction. He tried doing paper work in a conference room but he simply isn't able to concentrate on anything neither boring paper work nor easy fixing of banal flesh wounds.

His mind would just wander away from his current task to her, to their fight. He replayed that fight over and over again the last night with his back to the woman he loves, hearing her shifting on her side of the bed, knowing she couldn't sleep either, both being too proud to be the first one to speak.

Right now his thoughts don't concentrate on their fight but on nothing and everything at the same time. His mind just jumps from one thought to another: Seeing her with Zola, hearing her laugh with Teddy, watching her break down after he told her the patient that just died under her scalpel was Henry, comforting her, loving her, making her moan in pleasure, burying himself in her, enjoying the music-like sound when she laughed, laughing with her, and then again feeling the surprising joy when she told him she was pregnant, his hopes being broken, holding her hand while she aborted their child, not being able to process that this, his dream of a little family with her, would never come true.

He is hurt, deeply hurt, broken, helpless, completely at a loss, desperate and, oh, still so desperately in love with her.

His heart is just carrying too much weight.

So he just needs something to happen, he needs an emergency.

Cristina Yang charts. She is off of Teddy's service and today is really a lazy day so there simply isn't much to do but charting. Well at least this is what she ought to do but in fact she just stares at her current chart without actually seeing it. Lost in thoughts her mind is spinning around images, memories and feelings appearing on her mind for a short time and then vanishing again. Somehow her heart isn't able to decide what to feel – but one thing she knows for sure: No matter what she feels, it definitely is related to him, to Owen.

There are many feelings inside of her without one marking territory. On the one hand she is mad at Owen: He yelled at her that she had killed their baby, but he had held her hand while she did it; he kicked her off of Teddy's service and he knows how important it is to her to learn from Teddy, to become that Cardio Goddess. On the other hand she feels deeply hurt and desperate: He said this is not the life he envisioned for himself – and that cut a deep wound into her heart. She loves him – truly and deeply, like she never loved anyone before. But yesterday he made it very clear he is not happy with her.

Why do you think it took me so long to open up to you? You thought I was afraid of committing myself to you!? I was afraid of loving you too much – and I do. I was afraid of this – of someday maybe losing you.

Deep down inside she knew he is grieving about the child she decided not to have and if she only could she would have wanted to comfort him – but she didn't know how without hurting him even more.

Silently she curses the day she got pregnant.

Back down in the ER Owen has to stop himself from exclaiming a way too excited "Yes!" as an ambulance stops in front of the ER doors. The paramedic jumps out and informs him about the car victim's injuries.

April comes up behind him.

"What do we have?"

"Car crash, multiple fractures. He needs surgery at once."

"May I scrub in with you?" she asks eagerly.

"Sure, follow me!"

In the OR a nurse suddenly interrupts Owen's now full on the patient concentrated thoughts.

"Dr. Hunt, you got paged!"

"Who is it?"

"It's from some Dr. Gordon. It says 'Meet me at pathology. Now!'." Hearing that Owen raises his head.

"Dr. Gordon? He's not even working here anymore." He remembers he dismissed him one or two months ago now, after he showed some very inappropriate behavior because his wife had died. Owen recommended him to see a therapist. Maybe he feels better now again and wants his job back Owen thought.

"So are you choosing to ignore the page, Dr. Hunt?" The nurse enquires.

"I'm in surgery now, this has to wait."

Meanwhile Cristina's pager goes off exactly the same second like Owen's does. She reads the message: "Meet me at pathology. Now!" It was from some Dr. Gordon – she heard that name before, but can't recall who it is at that moment.

"Anything interesting?" Lexie, who sits next to her – also charting, wants to know.

"Somebody wants to meet me at pathology – doesn't sound very interesting if you ask me!"

"Probably better than charting." Lexie comments.

"There's some truth in it." Cristina admits. "Let's see what Dr. Gordon from pathology wants."

"I'll join you – nothing better to do." Lexie mumbles and follows her.

Owen sighs and lets his scalpel fall to the ground. April sadly watches him waiting for him to say the words, but he remains silent.

"Dr. Hunt?" She addresses him. But Owen is deep in thoughts: Why do I feel like I screw up everything lately?

"Owen?" April grabs his arm, he gives her a pitiful look. He just is not able to say the words. April understands.

"Time of death 11:32 a.m." She finally says it.

"I think I'll just stay for a few more minutes." Owen mutters.

"Okay then." April pats his shoulder and leaves.

He doesn't feel ready to face the world behind those OR doors where he maybe runs into Cristina some time. On the one hand he doesn't want to look her into the eyes. But on the other he wants to see her, to talk to her, to fix things. He wants to turn back time to where it all began when they were unconcerned and light-hearted, losing themselves in the sensation of loving each other – exchanging glances and flirts and stealing some kisses.

My body's aching for warmer days.

Being followed by Lexie Cristina walks down the corridor towards the pathology. She opens the door and Lexie closes it behind them. At the other side of the room she sees a man who looks strangely familiar to her, but she isn't sure who exactly he is apart from the fact that he probably is this Dr. Gordon.

"Gordon, right? So you paged?" Cristina enquires. The man's eyes confusedly go back and forth between her and Lexie.

"Why is she here?" He mutters to himself.

"What?" Cristina raises her eyebrows. "Whatever, so you paged? Anything important?" She starts getting annoyed with this weird guy.

"Where's Hunt?" He keeps muttering to himself. Cristina rolled with her eyes.

"So if there's no emergency or something, I guess, we're better leaving." She takes Lexie's arm. "I think Creepy over here has lost his mind…" She whispered to her and turns to leave the room again.

"Get yourself together." She hears Creepy talk to himself and the next thing she then hears is a loud bang and Lexie scream.

I had this idea - it's not entirely new, I know, but I just felt that something else should have happened at this point of the Show. So tell me if I should continue. Well, at least in my own head I will continue, but I need to know if it's worth to express it and write it down.
I'm also open to any suggestions how to continue.