A/N – More than one of us Music Man fanfic writers have explored "Marian the Librarian" from Harold's point of view, so I thought it was high time someone wrote the scene from Marian's perspective. This was originally just going to be another brief "Reflections" vignette, but it sort of snowballed into its own fic while I was writing it and there will be a second chapter coming soon!
XXX
July 1912
"No, it's all right," an all-too familiar baritone voice proclaimed. "I know everything and it doesn't make any difference!"
Marian Paroo looked up from her book stamp, which was now perched in an outstretched, masculine hand – really, she ought to pay more attention to what she was doing! – to survey Harold Hill with a frown. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said dismissively.
Heedless as ever to propriety or even decency, the fly-by-night salesman took her hand in his and continued to barrel full steam ahead. "Mr. Madison," he said in his booming voice, his expression one of fawning sympathy. "You were probably very young… anyone can make a mistake."
The librarian immediately pulled out of his grip. She ought to have known Harold Hill would eventually unearth all the malicious rumors about her – she'd overheard the ladies clucking over these tall tales, herself – but his sheer rudeness in bringing them up to her in public still shocked her. However, she refused to reward his temerity with anything but the affronted denunciation it deserved. "What?" she said in a stunned voice, as if she had no idea what he was talking about. Deciding the wisest course of action was to ignore the man completely from now on, the librarian then turned her attention to the card catalog.
However, one of the most irritating habits about "Professor" Hill was that he had the exasperating trick of acting as if a person had said just what he wanted to hear, their conversation following a predetermined script in his mind that he was determined to make reality through sheer force of his will alone. "No apologies, no explanations," he assured her as he scurried behind the counter. The volume of his voice dropped a few notches, which she found even more disquieting when he continued in a leering purr, "You see, I'll only be in town a short while, and… the sadder-but-wiser girl for me."
Seeing that paying no heed to his presence wasn't going to work, and refusing to be a pawn in his little game for a moment longer, the librarian coldly and firmly stated, "Would you please make your selection and leave."
"I have," he said, warmly and earnestly.
Amazed that he didn't even flinch at her dismissal – any reasonable man would surely have admitted defeat by now! – Marian turned to Harold Hill and asked, with real curiosity, "What do you want to take out?"
"The librarian!" he exclaimed.
Marian's eyes widened, and this time she couldn't entirely contain her discomfiture at his brazen overtures. But she was never one to capitulate even after having lost ground, so although the entire library had already aimed a resounding "Ssh!" in his direction, she added her own stern, "Quiet, please!" and marched over to a pile of books on the opposite side of the desk, fully intending to ignore Harold Hill once more. Not only would this fly-by-night salesman not take no for an answer, he would use anything she said against her. So no matter what came out of his mouth from now on, she mustn't engage with him any longer.
Unsurprisingly, Harold Hill acted as if her rejection was merely an encouragement for him to encroach even further, and crept closer until he was looming over her shoulder. "The librarian," he said, this time in a lover's whisper.
As unsettling as his nearness was, the librarian was determined to persevere, and acted as if he were no more bothersome or worthy of attention than a tiny gnat buzzing around her head.
Harold Hill sighed, very convincingly playing the dejected paramour as he persisted in a disappointed voice, "You're not listening, Marian." She heard the rustle of fabric as he pulled something out of his pocket. "Look!"
At this boyish exhortation, the urge to scold once again took hold of her and Marian couldn't help turning toward him – and then rolled her eyes and briskly turned away when he said her name in a sing-song voice and waved a cloth sack back and forth in front of her face. You're supposed to be ignoring him! she crossly reminded herself.
"Marbles!" he said cheerfully.
Marian's head popped up and she froze in alarm.
Now that he had her full attention, Harold Hill grinned and circled the desk until he was once again in the librarian's line of vision. "Six steelies, eight aggies, a dozen pee-wees, and one great big glassy with an American flag in the middle!" He paused and looked appraisingly at her. "I think I'll drop them."
Before she could think better of it, her librarian instincts to maintain order and neatness kicked in. "No!" she cried, lunging toward him.
Unfortunately, the desk was once again standing between them, so Marian wouldn't have been able to stop him. But Harold Hill didn't drop his marbles. Instead, he did something even more infuriating: He put his finger to his lips and led the rest of the library in issuing her a piercing "Ssh!" as if she was the one causing all this disturbance!
Although the librarian now knew that ignoring Harold Hill was impossible – and downright dangerous! – it was the only course of action she had left at this point, other than abandoning her post and running for Constable Locke, which was something she steadfastly refused to do. The library was her domain, and she would not relinquish even an inch of it to this outrageous interloper. Moving to the typewriter, she began to type with furious speed as her heart likewise pounded faster. Too rattled to maintain even the slightest semblance of poise when Harold Hill once again moved in front of her, she did the only thing she could think of to escape his latest ambush, and ducked out of sight.
Crouched in a kneeling position behind her desk and now utterly humiliated in front of all her patrons, Marian seriously considered going for Constable Locke, after all. Though she loathed the idea of ceding control of her precious library even for a moment, order must be restored, and as mortifying as it was to admit, she could no longer achieve this without the help of an outside authority.
It was then, when the librarian had been humbled into the very dust by the man she now hated more than anyone she'd ever met, that Harold Hill declared his love for her. At this final insult, Marian felt a welcome resurgence of pride. Marshaling her sense of righteous indignation once more, she rose to her feet, fully prepared to give the fly-by-night salesman the blistering admonition he so richly deserved – and was once again thrown off balance when she realized he had taken himself out of the line of fire. Instead, he was once again looming over her shoulder and crooning to her so raucously that even the people on the second floor had to have heard his brazen declarations!
It was disconcerting how Harold Hill had the uncanny knack of knowing just when to overcrowd her, and just when to put himself out of her reach. Still, Marian valiantly tried to endure his antics. When Zaneeta Shinn and Tommy Djilas approached the desk to get their books stamped, the librarian eagerly seized on this distraction – but was roundly thwarted when her stamp landed on Harold Hill's outstretched hand.
And then he was all around her, advancing and retreating with all the skill and grace of a trained fencer as he continued to ostentatiously declare just how much he loved and needed her, until Marian was, at long last, driven to leave her desk. But she refused to retreat too far even as Harold Hill continued his relentless campaign of overwhelming onslaught and, pretending that she needed to look up the definition of a word, the librarian buried her nose in the massive dictionary only a few feet away.
But he was wearing her down, bit by bit, she finally had to admit. Anyone would have found it difficult to withstand such an incorrigible man! No matter what obstacles she threw in his path, he just kept coming and coming, his inexorable determination rivaling that of the gale-force winds that swept across the vast Iowa landscape. Caught up in this cyclone, Marian didn't know how to free herself. Even more alarmingly, she was no longer certain she wanted to elude him; when Harold Hill closed the dictionary, placed a gentle finger under her chin and tenderly lifted her face to look at him, that something in the pit of Marian's stomach, which had been there since he first stepped in front of her on that warm, early-July evening, flared up even more strongly than it had when she had watched him gambol around the high school gymnasium.
"Now, in the moonlight," Harold Hill serenaded in a low, velvety voice that made her both shiver and burn, as if struck by fever, "a man could sing it… in the moonlight… and a fellow would know that his darling had heard every word of his song… with the moonlight, helping along… "
Marian was indeed hearing his every word, her body tingling from the top of her head to the tips of her toes as she backed away and he moved closer, his warm breath pleasantly tickling her lips and throat. It did not at all help that Harold Hill's breath was surprisingly pleasant. She'd expected to be assailed by a pungent bouquet of spirits or tobacco, as those revolting scents would be perfectly in keeping with a fly-by-night charlatan steeped in all sorts of worldly vices. But instead, the sweet aroma of Sen-Sen washed over her. And she had always especially enjoyed licorice. The librarian also perceived he used bay rum aftershave, which made her heart beat even faster. It just wasn't decent that such an appalling scoundrel should smell so appealing! As Marian struggled not to breathe Harold Hill in any deeper than she already was, his arm snaked out to grab not her, but the nearby railing of the spiral staircase, which was now pressing into her back and arresting her further retreat.
As odious as Harold Hill's personality was, he was undeniably the most attractive man she had ever met, with his wavy chestnut locks, flashing brown eyes, handsome face, and lithe but masculine physique. And there was something indescribably appealing about the way he moved that made Marian's heart beat faster, even in the midst of her annoyance. It certainly didn't help matters that, though his declarations were hollow, his voice was deep and full and rich – exactly the kind of voice she had always dreamed of whispering such sweet and heated nothings into her ear. Though the librarian prided herself on keeping a cool head no matter how trying a situation was, her rational mind could not fight against the clamoring of all five of her senses. Harold Hill looked, smelled and sounded delicious, and though she had not touched or tasted him, she suddenly, infuriatingly, desperately wanted to. When Harold's penetrating gaze smoldered as he looked at her like they were the only two people in the library, Marian was completely undone, and leaned in to meet his mouth with hers.
Fortunately, the librarian caught herself just in time. Jolting herself out of her romantic reverie, she ducked out of the fly-by-night salesman's embrace and fled back to her desk, straightening her spectacles as she did so. Although they were a little fogged up from his breathing on them, she refused to take them off – even if her vision was slightly hindered, she didn't want to be without them just now. While her spectacles were hardly an impenetrable shield should Harold Hill attempt to kiss her again, she always felt more in control when she was wearing them.
Nor could she waste valuable seconds cleaning the lenses – at present, she had bigger fish to fry. Spying Great Expectations sitting on top of a pile of books, the librarian was suddenly struck with an idea. If Harold Hill refused to be silenced, perhaps his disruptive attentions could at least be diverted, as one redirects a naughty toddler to more constructive pursuits. Having assisted her aging mother with the raising of Winthrop for the past ten years, Marian was quite experienced in dealing with childish antics, and though the salesman was far wilier than her dear younger brother, it was worth a try. Now, where in heaven's name was that darn ledger?
Naturally, Harold Hill was sitting on it – he had indecorously plopped himself on the desk as he continued to stridently declare his strong feelings for her. Grateful that he at least had the decency to move when she tugged on his sleeve so she could retrieve the ledger, Marian ignored her would-be suitor as much as she could until it was time to act. Once she had finished making her notations in the ledger, she picked up Great Expectations and shoved the salesman off the desk – he had actually begun to loll about! – and then ushered him over to an empty seat on a bench that was currently occupied by three of River City's most studious teens: Theodore, Philip and Bernard. With a firm hand, the librarian pushed Mr. Hill into a seated position, and had to stifle a triumphant smile when he sputtered to a stop mid-sentence and looked up at her as if he were rather taken aback by her strength. As he attempted to recover his breath, Marian opened the book, placed it into his hands, and stood before him with a no-nonsense glare and her hands on her hips. Although the salesman cheekily finished his sentence, he then buried his nose in the book she had procured for him.
Satisfied that her unorthodox solution had proven effective – for a few minutes, anyway! – the librarian returned to her duties. When she heard the rhythmic tapping of Harold Hill's two-toned shoes on the floor, she did not pay him any heed; it wasn't until three more pairs of shoes joined his that she shot a stern glance in the salesman's direction. But once again, he was too quick for her – he and the boys were perched perfectly still, seemingly engrossed in their books. Although the four of them were now sitting astride the bench and had traded tomes with each other, Marian couldn't find any fault in their current behavior. With a resigned sigh, she went off to do some reshelving of returned volumes. While she knew full well that it was dangerous to leave Harold Hill unsupervised, she had work to do, and she couldn't spend her entire afternoon governing his every action!
Opening a book of her own, Marian ascended the spiral staircase. As she neared the top, she became conscious of several footsteps deliberately marching in step with hers, and whirled around. Indeed, Harold Hill, Theodore, Philip and Bernard were now standing behind her. As they regarded her with innocent grins, she smiled benignly at them in return. The salesman's new little game of engaging in surreptitious mischief behind her back was a lot more bearable than his backing her into a corner with his overcrowding of her person and his garish declarations of love, and if all it took to keep him in check was a sharp gaze aimed in his direction every now and then, she was more than up to the task. At the very least, her vigilance would cow his teenaged accomplices, as River City's youth considered the librarian a formidable personage who was not to be trifled with.
But perhaps she had declared victory too soon. When Marian came back down the spiral staircase a mere few moments later, she caught sight of Harold Hill, Theodore, Philip and Bernard each dancing with a girl. So much for the strait-laced teens being a good influence on the indecorous salesman! With a gasp, the librarian hastened over and put an immediate stop to their shenanigans. However, just after she had managed to restore proper order, the silence was broken by a group of girls marching energetically into the library. No sooner than Marian had raced over to this fresh disturbance and shushed its perpetrators into a much more acceptable gait, Cissy Gale and her friends erupted into ear-splitting giggles – they'd gotten into Casanova's memoirs yet again! But the frazzled librarian had no time to put a stop to their tomfoolery, as Tommy Djilas was now perched precariously over the second-floor railing, apparently reenacting the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet with a delighted Zaneeta.
"Tommy!" Marian cried out in alarm, running halfway up the staircase and gesturing for him to come down immediately. As he scrambled to obey – nearly tumbling off the railing in the process – the librarian went back down to the first floor, intending to offer the instigating "music professor" an ultimatum: Either he better help her quell the rebellion he'd started, or he could explain himself to Constable Locke when she reported him for disturbing the peace!
But it was too late. Marian had hardly opened her mouth to confront the salesman when the entire library erupted in pandemonium. Her concentration shattered, all she could do was gape, sputter and throw her hands up in dismay as the teenagers danced merrily about. Remembering her ultimatum, she turned back to Mr. Hill, but once again, he'd taken the opportunity to disappear.
Refusing to let him elude her so easily this time, the librarian marched off to find him. Forget about gaining his cooperation – once she found Harold Hill, she was going to banish him from the library for good!
However, he was nowhere to be seen. At any rate, it was difficult to locate the slippery man in the midst of such chaos. Thoroughly distracted by the monkeyshines of the same gaggle of girls who'd noisily entered the library just a few moments earlier, the librarian was waving her arms scoldingly at the group and trying to herd them toward a table when the back of her legs hit an unexpected obstacle and she went tumbling backwards.
Before she could go crashing to the ground, a strong pair of arms encircled her waist and arrested her fall. However, Marian was anything but relieved to be rescued from injury – especially when she realized not just who her "rescuer" was, but that he must have stuck out his leg and made her fall in the first place! And that wasn't even the worst of it. Finding herself sitting on Harold Hill's lap, his arms wrapped tightly around her and his grinning mouth looming just inches over her own, the librarian felt those dangerous butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach. As she gasped for breath, the intoxicating aromas of licorice and bay rum assailed her senses again – if the salesman attempted to kiss her again, there would be no escaping him this time.
When Harold's devilishly handsome face moved even closer to hers, Marian furiously leaped up from the trap she'd literally fallen into – but before she could so much as straighten her spectacles, she was swept into the arms of a line of young men who happened to be waltzing by the table.
The librarian ought to have been even more furious at being caught up in this latest maelstrom, courtesy of Harold Hill tugging on her arm and refusing to let her go until just the right moment. But as her feet automatically began to move in rhythmic step with the boys', Marian suddenly remembered just how much she missed doing this – she hadn't danced since Cincinnati. In addition to taking formal dance lessons – which her family's meager finances no longer allowed for after her father's health failed – she and her girlhood chums had practiced the latest steps for hours and hours. She'd forgotten how exhilarating it was to whirl freely and gracefully about, forgotten how wonderful it was to be part of the fun, rather than the strict chaperone who dutifully maintained order. While she may have been considered a hopeless wallflower in River City, she had never wanted for dance partners at parties in Cincinnati. Though none of the teens were old enough to be serious suitors, it was strangely refreshing to be an object of admiration rather than scorn, if only for a brief moment. Reveling in the friendly smiles she received from River City's boys and girls alike, Marian tossed her spectacles aside and gave herself over to the inclination to engage in a little lighthearted frivolity.
And so the librarian blithely pirouetted and gamboled about, even going so far as to climb up and dance on top of a table at one point. She was having the most fun she'd had since – well, she couldn't even remember. Perhaps she ought to dance more often…
Twirling in her current partner's arms – she'd gone from one young man to another as they all clamored to dance with her – Marian turned to give him a friendly smile in return… and found herself looking into the grinning face of Harold Hill.
Her fury reignited, Marian threw his hands away from hers and ran back to the desk. How long had she been ensconced in the salesman's arms, making a complete fool of herself? Needing to find something constructive with which to occupy herself lest she give in to the ever-increasing temptation to strike Mr. Hill and therefore make an even bigger scene, she started to gather up every book she could lay her hands on. As the salesman cheerfully assisted her in this task by plunking several tomes on top of the pile in her hands, she grew even angrier. Just keep moving, she ordered herself, determined to outlast even Harold Hill's interminable vigor.
As the librarian hastened to the second floor with her armload of books, he followed hot on her heels, once again vociferously declaring his love for her:
But when I try in here to tell you, dear
I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian… Marian
It's a long lost cause I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian…
Marian was fast nearing her breaking point, and it was only the admonishing shushes of the rest of the library's patrons that kept her in check – at least everyone else had the good sense to settle back down once her unequivocal withdrawal from the festivities indicated that the fun was finished!
Suddenly, Harold Hill broke into his own declarations to inform her, "Ladies' Dance Committee meets Tuesday nights!"
At this maddening reminder of her bleak station in River City's society – who cared when the Ladies' Dance Committee met? They'd shun her every day of the week! – Marian whirled around to tell Harold Hill off. But as ever, he was one step ahead, and tossed a book at her. Thankfully, her reflexes were still sound even if her composure was completely decimated, and she caught the volume at once.
But as ever, her pursuer had yet another hijinks up his sleeve. "Marshmallow?"
Incensed that his cloth sack didn't actually contain the marbles he'd previously claimed – was there no end to the salesman's audacious prevarication? – the librarian threw her book to the ground with a bang. As she opened her mouth to let Harold Hill know in no uncertain terms exactly what she thought of him and his courtship, he took the opportunity to push one of the big, white puffs through her parted lips.
But if he stubbornly refused to quit, so did she. Marian forcefully expelled the marshmallow and opened her mouth to try again. His eyes twinkling, Harold Hill leaned in to kiss her. Though his kiss was loud enough for the entire library to hear, his lips were surprisingly gentle when they brushed her cheek. And along with the Sen-Sen and bay rum aftershave, the librarian also inhaled the beguiling scent of sandalwood soap. The not-so-common masher had clearly taken some time to spruce himself up before paying her a visit tonight!
Her face crimsoning at both this infuriating idea and the way it made that something deep in the pit of her stomach quiver even more, Marian raised her hand to give the impertinent salesman an equally bold smack on his cheek – and sent the hapless and undeserving Tommy Djilas tumbling to the ground, instead. As the librarian goggled at the poor boy, who was now lying on the floor in a heap with Zaneeta, Harold Hill nimbly hopped onto the dumbwaiter and descended to the first floor – holding a book in front of his face as a shield all the way down. Both irate and stunned, all the librarian could do was glare after the salesman as he vaulted over the counters of her desk with ridiculous ease and careened out the wide double doors.
As she continued to stew in her ire, Marian gradually awakened to the fact that everyone's eyes were still upon her. Not only had Harold Hill caused unprecedented disruption in her domain, he had callously left her to deal with the aftermath all by herself. The older folks were gaping at her with scandalized eyes and the teens' expressions ranged the gamut from guilty amusement to jittery apprehension, as if they feared she'd explode.
A frailer woman would have burst into tears at such humiliation. But Marian was used to being on the receiving end of ignominy from the River City-ziens, and she would bear this slight as stoically she had borne all the others. Smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt and drawing herself up to her full height, she announced in a firm and level voice, "Please gather your books and things together – the library will be closing in five minutes."
On the surface, there seemed to be nothing remarkable about her statement; Marian made this announcement every evening before closing time. However, tonight she had made it a full half hour early – something that had never happened before. Still, although everyone glanced at the clock in amazement, no one dared to air this observation aloud. Realizing that the festivities were indeed concluded and that proper order was at last restored, the teens and older folks alike went about their business.
All except Tommy Djilas and Zaneeta Shinn, that is. When Marian turned away from the second-floor balcony, she saw they were still staring at her in wounded shock – and Tommy's hand was still pressed to his cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Tommy," she immediately apologized. "That slap wasn't meant for you."
He nodded understandingly and lowered his hand. "Professor Hill did come on a bit strong," he acknowledged with a small smile.
Zaneeta bent down and retrieved the book the librarian had angrily hurled to the ground. "I think you dropped this, Miss Marian," she said kindly.
The librarian's composure nearly quailed, and she felt dangerously close to bursting into tears. She could take the River City-ziens' scorn, but not their pity. As well-intentioned as these two teens were, she couldn't bear them looking at her like the sad and lonely spinster that she truly was.
"Tommy, Zaneeta," Marian said in a much cooler tone, and loudly enough for the entire library to hear, "would you be so good as to inform Professor Hill the next time you see him that he is banned from this establishment for life?"
Both teens' smiles disappeared. However, although they both looked disappointed and even a little bit hurt, neither one of them dared to protest, lest they receive the same punishment. "Yes, Ma'am," they said quietly, and turned away from her.
Although Marian had not only succeeded in maintaining her poise in the face of embarrassment, but also in reasserting her authority over the library, she somehow felt even worse than she had before Harold Hill had first waltzed through those double doors. Not even recovering her spectacles – which, though they had landed on the floor, were only slightly smudged but otherwise none the worse for wear – could improve her mood.
Wiping her lenses clean with a handkerchief, Marian put them on and announced that the library was now closing. And so, a full twenty minutes early, the patrons lined up at the front desk to check out their books. As the librarian briskly stamped each volume, everyone remained quiet and all the teens approached her with downcast eyes – except for Theodore, Philip and Bernard, who tentatively met her gaze and smiled faintly at her. Though these smiles were mere ghosts of the merry rictuses the teens had worn while she'd danced with them, Marian's heart flip-flopped and she felt that awful urge to cry again – what in heaven's name was the matter with her?
Nevertheless, the librarian found herself giving the three boys a small but friendly smile in return before they turned and departed from the building. And then Marian was alone in the library. Theodore, Philip and Bernard had been her final patrons that evening, and Harold Hill was no longer lying in wait at the end of the line to catch her stamp in his outstretched hand.
Nor was the salesman lingering outside to follow her home, as he did the evening of July third. Although she certainly did not want his company as she made her way to West Elm, Marian couldn't help feeling a bit depressed as she watched all the teens continue to revel in their youth and freedom. Now that they were outside the confines of the library, they could talk and laugh and even dance as much as they wanted: groups of girls were chattering animatedly, groups of boys were guffawing over one jest or another, and starry-eyed couples were making their way to the Candy Kitchen… or perhaps to the footbridge for a little romance.
Marian had once been a high-spirited teen, herself – the last young woman anyone suspected would end up a lonely spinster. If her friends back in Cincinnati could see her now, they'd be astounded at how serious and stern she'd become. But as she'd gradually lost touch with all her girlhood chums over the years, there was no one with whom she could commiserate about her lot or even fondly reminisce about days gone by. She'd been alone and friendless since her family moved to River City, and though she often cried herself to sleep at night when she first came to town, she'd since gotten used to living a solitary existence. Now, after tonight's fiasco in the library, she found herself remembering what it was like to have comradely companionship – and realizing just how much she missed being part of a community.
Darn that Harold Hill for disrupting her well-ordered existence! Nothing good could possibly come of his meddling in her affairs. Although he had sparked a staunch kinship among the feuding members of the school board with his simplistic musical tricks, it would take more than a harmonic sleight of hand to get the ladies to change their ill-founded opinions of her character and personality. And the fact remained that no matter how much cheer he stirred up among these stiff-necked Hawkeyes and no matter how much happiness he left in his wake, Harold Hill was an imposter. When the rest of River City finally woke up to the reality that this self-styled music professor was nothing more than a silver-tongued shyster, they would look upon outsiders like her with even more suspicion than they had before.
"You're home early, darling," Mrs. Paroo remarked with a raised eyebrow when Marian entered the house.
"I'm not feeling very well this evening," the librarian said curtly, and withdrew to her room before her mother could question her further – or, God forbid, detect the essence of Sen-Sen, bay rum aftershave, and sandalwood soap still faintly lingering about her!
Fortunately, Mama was just as out of the loop as she was, so it would be awhile before news of "Professor" Hill's exploits at the library reached her – if she heard of them at all. For after her mother's gleeful reaction to his following her home a few weeks ago, the librarian was not at all inclined to divulge tales of the fly-by-night salesman's latest flirtation.
Nor was she inclined to give those unsettlingly pleasant stirrings in her stomach any credence. Not even when she recalled the softness of his lips against her cheek or the seamless rhythm of their dance together. Not even when she foolishly brought her sandalwood-scented hands to her nose and mouth and took one deep breath after another as the tears she'd been holding back for quite some time now began to pour down her cheeks. Harold Hill was long gone and Marian was alone in the comforting privacy her bedroom, but the nearness of him persisted everywhere he'd touched her or come scandalously too close. And she was so pathetically, desperately, dangerously lonely that she was drinking in these paltry scraps of lovemaking as if they were manna from Heaven!
Although Marian couldn't deny that she had been waiting all her life for a man who made her feel the way Harold Hill did when his gaze and hands were upon her, she absolutely refused to succumb to the amorous advances of a woman-chasing charlatan who would simply deem her another insignificant notch on his bedpost before moving on to his next conquest. While she had to admit he was extremely adept at wooing a woman, Marian wasn't one to be won over by flattery and petting. No matter how much Harold Hill made her tremble with his smoldering glances, bold caresses, and delectable grooming habits, she would never give in to him. She didn't want to be sold to – she wanted to be loved. And despite the urging of her mother and the ache of her treacherous physical yearnings, she refused to settle for anything less.
After indulging in a cool bath and scrubbing away the last traces of Harold Hill for good, the librarian felt composed enough to risk venturing down to the kitchen for something to eat. Fortunately, her mother treated her with tactful forbearance for once, and did not remark any further about her early arrival home that evening. A good dinner did even more wonders for her mood, so by the time Marian finally got into bed that night, she had completely recovered her equanimity – and she was even more firmly resolved that whatever Harold Hill was after, he wasn't going to get it from her!