When Monty's fingers trace the scar on Nathan's chest, he feels the Grounder spear piercing into his own skin. It's fast and quick and he barely feels it because of the adrenaline that was once flowing through Nathan's veins. He can feel his determination to get what was left of the 100 safe, even if it meant him dying in the process.
When Miller kisses the tips of Monty's fingers, he can feel the computer keys of Mt. Weather under his own. He can feel the relief that came with saving the 48, the dread that filled Monty after Clarke and Bellamy pulled the lever that killed the mountain. He can hear the hateful words Jasper still says.
When Monty lays down next to Nathan, chest to back, arms around waists, hands intertwined, noses in hair, lips against necks, he can feel Nathan's emotions. He can feel Nathan's love for him, Nathan's happiness, Nathan's comfort and he knows Nathan feels the same thing right back.
...
The first time was an accident.
Miller wasn't a tactile person. (Still isn't really, except when it comes to Monty). He didn't go around touching people unless it was necessary. Most people loved to touch, even the smallest of touches can lead to someone finding their soulmate. It sounds bad, but Miller didn't give a shit about his soulmate. He was a really pessimistic person and didn't think he'd ever find them. How could he when he hated to touch people and his everlasting bad luck?
Than he met Monty and everything kind of changed. Not right away. Miller and Monty didn't talk until they were in the mountain. They had no reason too, Monty was Clarke's second brain and Miller was Bellamy's right hand man, but that didn't matter once they were inside the mountain. They became friends, best friends even, especially after Jasper kept ditching Monty for Maya.
("I get it," Monty had said. "She's his soulmate. He's been waiting his entire life for this, I can't get in the way. He'll come back, he always comes back." Miller had to bite his tongue because Monty shouldn't have to wait for Jasper to come back, Jasper should know how fucking lucky he is to have Monty.)
And when Monty got taken for drilling, Miller realised that it was more than a friend love that he had for Monty
When Miller put his hand on Monty's knee, it was the first time he's really touched him. There had been brushes of hands and legs pressed together, but never a real touch, not until that moment.
Miller put his hand on Monty's knee and saw a little Monty running through the hallways of the Ark. He's laughing, being chased. He looks over his shoulder at a little Jasper and falls. He falls hard on his knees, and skids across the floor, his knee scraping on the metal floor. Little Monty's knee is burning- Miller can feel it - and Little Monty is crying because he's a little kid and a scraped knee is the most painful thing that could ever happen to him at that age.
He lets go of Monty and is dragged back to reality to see Monty looking at him. "You ok?" Monty asks even though Miller should be the one asking. "Looked like you got a little lost there."
"Yeah, yeah," he says. "I'm just… I'm really glad you're ok, Monty." He doesn't say anything about being his match. There's a lot of shit they need to go through and Miller will wait until they get out alive to tell him. That's what he tells himself, anyway.
Truthfully, he's scared.
…
When Monty puts his forehead against Nathan's, he can see his father's distance, turning his back on Nathan after his mother died, when Nathan needed him most. He can feel Miller's resentment, still there after all these years.
When Miller touches Monty's drill wounds, he can feel Dr. Tsing's drill bit biting into his skin, into his bones. It's a second of terrible pain, but nothing compared to what Monty once felt. Miller wants to make sure he never feels anything close to it again.
When Monty kisses Nathan's lips, all he sees, feels, hears, tastes is love. The first time Nathan told him he loved him, their first kiss, their first time. It passes behind his eyelids every once in awhile. Everytime it happens he dives in for more and more, just as hungry for the memories as he is for Nathan.
When Miller touches Monty, sometimes, he doesn't see anything. There's no memory, no emotion, just Monty. There's just Monty in front of him, laughing at something stupid someone said or smiling at Miller like he's the only person in the world. It's those moments when he knows for sure, he is completely and utterly in love with Monty Green.
...
Miller doesn't tell him, but they do get out of the mountain.
There's so much blood on Monty's hands, Jasper's abandoned him, and he's alone. His parents may or may not be dead and while he has the delinquents, they're all so happy to be "home" that they don't get what he did. Bellamy and Clarke do, but Clarke's gone and Bellamy is to lost to help him so he's alone. All alone.
Until Miller comes.
He sits down next to Monty on the crate, not touching but close enough that Monty can feel the heat radiating off him. "Shouldn't you be at the party?" Monty asks.
"Shouldn't you?" is Miller's reply
And Monty smiles. It's a small, broken smile but his first one in what feels like years. Miller's a big softy and Monty is ok being the only one knowing. "Thanks," he says, taking Miller's hand in his own.
All of a sudden, Monty's back on the Ark, in the medical wing. There's a woman in front of him and a small, young Miller holding her hand. She's thin and sick and dying. She whispers something, it's so quiet Monty doesn't catch it, and then she's gone. The hand is limp and cold, Monty can feel it in his own hand, but that's not all he feels. He feels Miller's Nathan's grief, the same grief he feels when he thinks of his own mom, lost with farm station.
Then he's back, looking into the face of Big Nathan, his Nathan. "What were your mom's last words?" he asks, his voice is just over a whisper, his eyes not breaking from Nathan's.
Nathan swallows hard, his eyes falling downcast to where his hand in holding Monty's. "I don't know. I didn't hear them. I was the only one there, she was talking to me, and I didn't hear them" He's holding Monty's hand in both of his own now and Monty wonders what he sees.
"How long have you known?" Nathan shrugs and his eyes meet Monty's again. He has his mother's eyes. "You're stupid, y'know that? Really fucking stupid."
And Nathan just smiles.
…
When Miller kisses Monty's forehead, he feels like he can hear Monty's thoughts. He can hear his jumbled speak about physics. He doesn't understand half of it, the jumbled formulas and proofs go right over Miller's head, but he does understand some things, like how much Monty thinks about him.
When Monty touches Nathan while he's asleep, he can see his dreams. Sometimes, they're about him, other times they're about the mountain. The ones that scare Nathan the most, the ones he wakes up from breathing hard and clutching Monty, are the ones about hull breaches on the Ark. He still has them, even after waking up everyday in a world full of air.
When Miller cuts Monty's hair, he can see Monty's mother doing the same back on the Ark. He can feel her hands in his own short hair, the comforting touch only a mother could bring. It makes Miller ache. Ache for his own mom long dead and ache to find farm station so Monty can have his family back.